₦airaland Forum

It seems you like wahala.

This guys and his family are not worth your trouble.

You will just realize after many years that you wasted precious time and money that you could have used for more productive things.

You are ibo and he is ijebu... dejavu

..

Tumtum16:
My parents have been helping out mostly. The money his parents send is not much but I appreciate the effort. However, I'm not comfortable accepting it and I am already beginning to find my feet financially. My family don't want to get involved even though they feel he is nice but are not comfortable with the fact that he is dependent and unable to take decisions concerning him and I till now. I do not want to hurt his feelings by moving on because I like him but I do not want to end up waiting forever till I past my Prime. That's my dilemma.

Did he even ask you to marry him? or you wanna force yourself on him because you have a child for him? Better look for a real man to take care of you. Life is too short to be straddled with frustrations. It will be tough for you as his family doesn't like you.

yettymuse:
How old are you that you got marriage as your top priority like this You are in a burning pan and you're asking whether to jump into a brewing fire

You haven't even found your feet, you are yet to makeup for dropping out of the university yet you're patching up with a boy because his parents are sending you money from abroad...

As an igbo girl, how in Heaven's name did you have a child for a boy that has not paid one kobo on your head and still cohabit with him? Really??. Is poverty changing the igbo culture and values I grew up to know?

Where are your parents? They have a lot of work to do!

Trust me she might not be real igbi she is these ibos

She is also just daft .trust me

yettymuse:
How old are you that you got marriage as your top priority like this You are in a burning pan and you're asking whether to jump into a brewing fire

You haven't even found your feet, you are yet to makeup for dropping out of the university yet you're patching up with a boy because his parents are sending you money from abroad...

As an igbo girl, how in Heaven's name did you have a child for a boy that has not paid one kobo on your head and still cohabit with him? Really??. Is poverty changing the igbo culture and values I grew up to know?

Where are your parents? They have a lot of work to do!

...

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Did he even ask you to marry him? or you wanna force yourself on him because you have a child for him? Better look for a real man to take care of you. Life is too short to be straddled with frustrations. It will be tough for you as his family doesn't like you.

...

Tumtum16:
I have told him that I wanted us to break up several times. I do not intend to tie anyone down. He has pleaded with me on all occasions and promised to be a better person and I did give him the benefit of doubt because he has been good to me in many ways. He has been supportive but for those 'great' character defect and family. He wants to marry me and introduced me to all his friends and family as the person he loves. I am not frustrated, I only want to be sure that the relationship won't be a future disaster. But since no one is 'reading', I have nothing to say anymore. Thank you for your comments and advice.

My dear I've read. If you feel it deep within you to settle wit him, please do so. Tribe shouldn't be a barrier. If he'll make a good husband and father, please go for him. But remember you can't change a person unless they decide to change or divine intervention. Best of luck.

Tumtum16:
His extended family members are not comfortable with my tribe and have mentioned it subtly. I don't mind his tribe but almost all my Yoruba friends tell me that I can't cope with Ijebu people because not all Yorubas marry Ijebu not to talk of Igbos. I and my family don't see tribe as a problem but his side of the family does. He is also subtly tribalistic these days but it doesn't extend to me. I have been feeling that he not hustling may be because he has been dependent on parents for a long time till we met and I made him realise that he can't continue that way but then...

I was waiting, like screening for this in your write up

That aside, Ijebu or no Ijebu the guy doesn't seem to worth it, why do you want to stress your self. You are not married to him yet.

You have other men coming for you.

By the way please don't take your child to one uncles place oo, you know he's a babalawo what are you going to do there?

I wonder when the beef against my people will end oo.

pcguru1:
Can't advice you OP all I know is, if I see a snake or an ijebu ode man, I will walk with the snake pls cross check his family. ijebu ode Inherently are wicked people unless the educated ones, the ones in the village are fetish and diabolic , I have experienced and witnessed it first hand,but then again you are Igbo too, so the fighting for the husband property shouldn't come as a shock to you.

Note: your experience might differ

That's quite harsh, I believe it was just one experience from a family definitely not all Ijebu-ode people are.

E we soo ooo

I don’t know why you deleted your profile and all your comments. To be honest, you need to love yourself and plan with your guy. It doesn’t seem like he is all bad except that you are anxious that he has not married you. You have every right to be worried. The fact though is that not all men will have the drive some women do.

Not all men are more intelligent than their wives, not all men are the breadwinners. You just have to figure out what is most important to you and make your decision. His family has a right to be angry and disappointed at you. How do you even keep a pregnancy secret He knew his parents would have given you hints to run for your life, so he told you to keep it secret to keep you in his life forever. That was really stupid of you. You should also never have dropped out of school. Even while pregnant you should have kept on pushing with your education.

Both of you should stay in school and work hard so that you can provide for that child. Talk to your parents and decide what you want to do going forward. Let them also discuss with his parents and they can advice you better. I don’t buy that story of your mum dying because of a watch they sent her, she is just feeding your paranoia. She doesn’t know how to tell you to leave the guy so she is making up all sorts of funny things. I wish you the best sha, whatever decision you make.

oweniwe:
You can't marry someone who.... That is every way like you
If you are a good good... You will marry bad bad

Though there may be exceptions
But most are like that.

....

I'm praying hard i don't get to marry bad girl o

Lol. Bro Jesus said be it unto you according to your faith. I believe I will marry a good, smart and reasonable wife. I don't know about you tho

NoToPile:
That's quite harsh, I believe it was just one experience from a family definitely not all Ijebu-ode people are.

E we soo ooo

Apologies for generalizing, it's just what I experienced at my father's people hands was so much that after 27 years it has affected me psychologically its why I have a harsh view on Ijebu Ode people I admit I have meant decent ijebu ode people but its always their family back home I'm worried about, once again my apologies

Are u ready to be an ijebu woman? Women rush into marriage for status then their eyes clear up when they get in. Hope u can speak some yoriba atleast.

pcguru1:
Apologies for generalizing, it's just what I experienced at my father's people hands was so much that after 27 years it has affected me psychologically its why I have a harsh view on Ijebu Ode people I admit I have meant decent ijebu ode people but its always their family back home I'm worried about, once again my apologies

No problem apology accepted, few bad eggs spoil everything. I believe it's those set of people that have the 'our brothers property category' mentality.

27 years is along time they must have been civilized by now.

Some Ijebus also discriminate against other Ijebus too,

I have heared stuff like Remo people are wicked
Ago people are wicked and jazzy in nature
Epe people have jazz

And on a lighter note some of the Ijebu odes feel they are more civilized than other ijebus possibly because the town is quite bigger.

One thing that seems to be common though among all ijebus is the love for partying