₦airaland Forum

kizyalex10:
Now let me explain things abt bride price.is not only d igbos.be it yoruba or hausa.d bride price and the list is determined by so many factors.first the quality of d girl in question.ie.investing heavily in her tuition and maybe she became successful.as a doctor.lawyer.engineer.at dis point.she wont be a liability to her husband.but an asset.so the father inlaw and d kinsmen will want the potential inlaw to be worth giving such an asset to.financially ok.then most cases the man wont even bother much abt too much list readjustment.then another is abt the inlaws its self.the bride parents.their eagerness to give out their daughters to you.if their daughter is an asset beauty with brains.dat they believe attracts better suitors.then at that point they wont be scared brandishing their list cos if u leave,another man is at d door praying for him to get a chance.but when they see she is a liability or still raw.that after marriage,u will still have alot to do for her.ie.education,business,or jst a house wife.then they can quickly liase with u during dowry payment and list nd den to d elders to help readjust things.with the proverbial saying that women re nt married once.they re married continiously.which means if u collect huge sums now and d inlaw struggles tomorrow after payment or refuses to help anyone from the inlaw side.then its nt good.but if they treat him well.he can visit once a while to show appreciation there by extending his dowry payment endlessly.(indirectly)so is nt jst the igbos ,am sure every tribe demand based on d quality of their export.period.because if thats not the case.there re short cuts girls use.some may have a babe or get pregnant for the guy and d parents will rush and accept whatever he brings so that it wont be a shame for them that their daughter gave birth outside wedlock.NOTE:both d asset and liability wife lists are d same.but can be readjusted to the bearest minimum if they wish u take their daughter.

milemimi93:
Until you trained a female daughter from infant to adult, then you'll understand why the list is always huge..

martinskelly:
Why are you talking like this, as if male sons are not trained also. Lemme give you a fact, do you realise that it is even an uphill task to train a male son than the female and also it is even more expensive to educate a male son than the female,then WHY suffer the male son all because of marriage.

CAPSLOCKED:
SOMEONE SAID THAT TRADITIONAL WEDDING IS SEXISM, DISCRIMINATION AGAINST MEN, AND I AGREE.

MEN ARE MADE TO PAY HUGE SUMS JUST TO MARRY ANOTHER HUMAN (A LIABILITY THAT COMES WITH TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITES IN MANY CASES).
WOMEN ON THE OTHER HAND, ARE BEING SOLD LIKE SALLAH RAMS IN THE MARKET.
THIS IS SLAVERY IN DISGUISE.

PATRIARCHY WILL NOT DIE UNTIL MEN STOP GETTING MILKED DRY IN THE NAME OF TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE.

pinkcottoncandy:
Wait put that money in dollars and you will know how cheap it is to marry a woman in Nigeria...

So if a parent trains their daughter from birth to university and spend millions on her education...the reason you saw and liked her ...so they should give her out for free...knowing that if she becomes successful in the job market you will be the one to benefit... and you will be the one to quote how much she gives or should not give to help her family out....as a man you should proudly pay whatever they quote if you are worth your salt.

Man own this and that...pesin no go hear word...

CAPSLOCKED:
SOMEONE SAID THAT TRADITIONAL WEDDING IS SEXISM, DISCRIMINATION AGAINST MEN, AND I AGREE.

MEN ARE MADE TO PAY HUGE SUMS JUST TO MARRY ANOTHER HUMAN (A LIABILITY THAT COMES WITH TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITES IN MANY CASES).
WOMEN ON THE OTHER HAND, ARE BEING SOLD LIKE SALLAH RAMS IN THE MARKET.
THIS IS SLAVERY IN DISGUISE.

PATRIARCHY WILL NOT DIE UNTIL MEN STOP GETTING MILKED DRY IN THE NAME OF TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE.

safarigirl:
where bride price is relatively cheap and there are more landladies than landlords.

Well, as long as okada men and vulcanizers are still getting married from this same east, I will never understand where some of you meet these families that don't budge. Which money is a okada rider using to get married?

horia:
you called it slavery because the man is paying.
What of, in India, where the woman pays and still becomes a slave to her in-laws.
Please we should not divert. Igbo traditional marriage is only a chance 4 the girl's family to make themselves happy with the Bride's PRICE. Maybe a payback for all the food the girl ate since birth.

milemimi93:
Until you trained a female daughter from infant to adult, then you'll understand why the list is always huge..

chiommy123:
Honestly some lists need reevaluation. Guys should appreciate too. Its not easy answering someone else's name for life.

milemimi93:
Until you trained a female daughter from infant to adult, then you'll understand why the list is always huge..

bigocean:
Shebi the man too did not eat in his father's house since birth? Ok, continue.

Aonkuuse:
Hahahahahah they don't know nah, but like seriously some people will be doing as if they are selling their daughters out

chiommy123:
why don't you stick with your own traditions and let me stick with mine. A million and one guys and still counting do this everyday without complaining. Am Igbo and am proud of my culture

ghostwritter:
why not just say you don't have money for bride price.

happney65:
I went to court and got married with just about 10 People in attendance..I dont have time for all these nonesense marriage list where the daughter is being sold..Have always had it in mind of just going to court and thats all..My wife agreed with me but she just dey use style to ask me if we can still do it later..and even at that her list is about 60K or thereabout..we are sensible yoruba's and we aint selling our daughters like some people do..

Some stupid yoruba's these days also come with a big list as if the daughter is being sold.I dont blame them sha,I blame the mumu man that will go through hell all because i want to marry their daughter..On top that ohh,the lady nor her family wont drop a dime..Na on top of the Man them go put everything..

Nonesense and Buhari

Vickygarl:
Training a child, whether a male or female is the parents' responsibility and it isn't force on them. If they can't train her, then they shouldn't have her. Whether planned or unplanned, once the child is born, it is heirs to train.
If that's the case, the ones that neglect their daughters shouldn't even be writing any list.
My parents trained me up to this level but God help me, I will scrutinise whatever list they want to give my husband-to-be and make sure I have a correction pen and a pen while at it.
The most stupid thing is that some extended family members that didn't even contribute #10 eraser during the training will also come and claim "our daughter".

Lizilicious:
I don't know the part of Akwa ibom she's talking abt oo, but YESTERDAY AN IGBO MAN NEXT TO MY TABLE BRAGGED HOW HE SHUTS DOWN HIS WIFE BY SHOWING HER "THE LIST" AND ALL HIS EXPENSES DURING THE TRAD. ACCORDING TO HIM ITEMS ON THE LIST ALONE WORTH MOST 2.5M.. NOT TO TALK OF OTHER MERRIMENTS. SO SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO ANY OPINIONS IN THE MARRIAGE BECAUSE HE HAS PAID FOR HER, AND SHE'S "PROPERTY", JUST AS YOU MENTIONED ABOVE.
PEOPLE ACTUALLY "OWN" OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR TRIBE AND YOU WANT TO CARRY ON WITH THAT SORT OF SLAVERY, JUST LIKE THE JEWS IN THE OLD TESTAMENT.
WHY NOT OPEN YOUR MIND AND YOUR HEAD, AND ALLOW SOMETHING NEW ENTER FOR ONCE? undecided[b][/b]
And u can still come and argue if u think that's too much..

Pipo Shud get their facts right mbok, don't use ur village wahala to come and Spoil people's future marriages..

Kneel ko, roll ni

Odogiawa:
He was given this right at Imo state before he met an Akwa Ibom girl,that worsen the whole situation and made him angry that he was not gonna marry any girl from the east... he has no option than to come back to benin....

Leopantro:
this reminds me of something that happened to a friend in Abia state.
The girls family put the birthprice at 800k.
the guy was mandated to sponsor the trad and the white wedding. serious fight started. the girl sided with the mother and said the guy must perform his right.
the guy did everything with anger but they later got married.
the marriage didn't last two months. now she is a baby boy and in her parent's house. no more suitors.
last i heard she was planning to leave the country.

victorian:
No be only roll on the ground.

Why not roll and lick his feet join on the wedding day.

Nonsense.. Slave mentality also showing up when one least expects. Smhhhhhh.

Newboss:
What a shame that the females still open their mouth to defend the errors some men seek to fix.

It's obvious that when a lady is being beaten by her lover, you should just mind your business because the lady can kill you in the name of defending her lover.

I've always known that marriage is a scam, right from the "creation stories" in ALL religious books.

Women are BASICALLY tools for men. Absolute second class humans.

It all stems from religion

I hope someday up to 80% of women in Africa will see that bride price is simply a man acquiring himself a new tool that has pussy

Ranks007:
So indirectly you are ungrateful to be part of a ideal nuclear family, a bastard would have been better?

grandstar:
If a culture isn't bad, why fix it?

There's nothing wrong with bride price except where the inlaws become greedy. In some cultures, it is as low as N10.

Feminist who are against it are either being righteous overmuch, throwing the baby out with the bathwater or just extremely petty like the Toronto gal

agabaI23:
You are from Imo state.

CAPSLOCKED:

YESTERDAY AN IGBO MAN NEXT TO MY TABLE BRAGGED HOW HE SHUTS DOWN HIS WIFE BY SHOWING HER "THE LIST" AND ALL HIS EXPENSES DURING THE TRAD. ACCORDING TO HIM ITEMS ON THE LIST ALONE WORTH MOST 2.5M.. NOT TO TALK OF OTHER MERRIMENTS. SO SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO ANY OPINIONS IN THE MARRIAGE BECAUSE HE HAS PAID FOR HER, AND SHE'S "PROPERTY", JUST AS YOU MENTIONED ABOVE.
PEOPLE ACTUALLY "OWN" OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR TRIBE AND YOU WANT TO CARRY ON WITH THAT SORT OF SLAVERY, JUST LIKE THE JEWS IN THE OLD TESTAMENT.
WHY NOT OPEN YOUR MIND AND YOUR HEAD, AND ALLOW SOMETHING NEW ENTER FOR ONCE?



A FEW MONTHS INTO THE MARRIAGE AND YOU'LL HAVE THOSE IGBO HUSBANDS REGRETTING AND LAMENTING, THAT THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST BOUGHT MORE GOODS WITH ALL THAT WASTED MONEY INSTEAD. SO WHAT'S THE POINT?

THE SAME "UMUNNA" AND VILLAGERS YOU FEED AND CLOTHE ARE STILL THE ONES THAT WILL GO AND PLANT CHARMS FOR YOU TO DIE SO THAT THEY'LL INHERIT YOUR PROPERTIES.
AGAIN, WHAT'S THE THE POINT?

flyDixon:
then I guess the igbo communities have a community account where they all deposit in and use it to raise their offspring together as a community.