₦airaland Forum

milemimi93:
They only want equality when it's beneficial.

Don't blame them.

Blame the system that says only men should propose to women..
Only men should approach women for relationship. This is where feminism was birthed.

Please where can i find these statements in the "system"?

superdude007:
..that's the reason many of them are into drug, ritual and other ungodly things to make money in satisfying their communities as related to marrying their tribe. Wedding is just a day & Marriage is forever.

That's not the reason

somehow:
Please where can i find these statements in the "system"?

Go to Africa. It’s in the Africans' system

chiommy123:
their tradition is quit different from ours. Maybe you are not Igbo cos you will not understand. In Igbo land its not just the parents of the girl that owns her. Hence everyone must partake in her marriage rites

close that ur mouth, IMO and Abia scam and extort their prospective in-laws in the name of bride price, you can't see such a thing in Anambra because we are not selling our daughter

zicoraads:
Thank God for allowing me see 'the light'.

So this is how I would have suffered if I didn't break up with my Cross River flame?

But...

Why do we even have to do this in the first place? Why do we even have to have 'a list', whether small or big? This practice, in my opinion, is outdated and should be done away with.

so you men will not just carry someone's daughter and marry abi. like it or not, the list is there for a reason, it is symbolic, that is why i like yoruba culture, sometimes the bride's family will return bride price back to the husband

chiommy123:
comeon you don't have to be pained like this. Its tradition you know and can't be forcefully changed rather you humbly explain things to them

shut your mouth of you dont have any reasonable thing to say.

I don't care how other women view this but to me my husband is my Lord and my crown.

CAPSLOCKED:
I'LL TAKE UP YOUR NAME ANYTIME ANYDAY INSTEAD OF GIVING MILLIONS TO YOUR VILLAGE PEOPLE FOR LIFE.

LOL. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.. CAPSLOCKED has done it again. Guddos bro.

Good post. I found a lot of necessary info here. Your article is really great gmail

IntrovertedK:
So parents don't take care of their male children also? They don't spend millions to train them? They spend thousands to train them instead, maybe? And who benefits more in marriage? The bride parent and family get more juicy goodies than the husband family.
There's an adage which says 'if you need a child to take care of you at old age, then pray for a female child' since once a male child is married, he automatically bear the burdens of his wife and her family. So what exactly are you insinuating @bolded?

Is this sarcasm or what? How many men take up the burdens of their in-laws?

Only those who wish to do so or too happy do such.

chiommy123:
my dear we want something to be done about that list. Honestly I shouted when I saw ours ( its not too high oo) but its not something that one person can change. In my culture the lady in question has no say. Its still the elders, igwes, umuadas and the umunna that can do something about it.

Every human has a say -Abraham Lincoln

You'll only be sold if you allow your family to sell you.

If you refuse to be sold and stand your ground, nobody will sell you.

pocohantas:
I believe this is just a case where the system created by men, comes back to haunt them. My dad said, bride price payment is intended to show that a man is mature enough to cater for a wife and since she is leaving her family to go join his...he should appreciate them.

He even told me that, way back, some men used to brag with it. They say things like "I bought everything on the list down to salt".
Men were using it to intimidate each other. I am sure my fellow igbo people will be familiar with this. If they want it to go, they can.

You must be eating the likes you got from nairaland yesterday. Momon "

You and your retched boyfriend that can't afford an ordinary iOS device won't allow people to hear word on this site.

I didn't believe what Biafranbushß0y was saying until yesterday.

victorian:
No be only roll on the ground.

Why not roll and lick his feet join on the wedding day.

Nonsense.. Slave mentality also showing up when one least expects. Smhhhhhh.

U'll understand when Ur brother proposes to a girl from those abovementioned states.

CAPSLOCKED:
I'LL TAKE UP YOUR NAME ANYTIME ANYDAY INSTEAD OF GIVING MILLIONS TO YOUR VILLAGE PEOPLE FOR LIFE.

Lol

Elder001:
Every human has a say -Abraham Lincoln

You'll only be sold if you allow your family to sell you.

If you refuse to be sold and stand your ground, nobody will sell you.

sell. Nothing like that here.

AkupeMBANO:
shut your mouth of you dont have any reasonable thing to say.

better behave yourself. Nonsense

AfonjaSlaves:
close that ur mouth, IMO and Abia scam and extort their prospective in-laws in the name of bride price, you can't see such a thing in Anambra because we are not selling our daughter

I never mentioned anything about selling. Its obvious you are not Igbo cos you don't even know the difference. Don't ever tell me to shut my mouth. Better respect yourself

davillian:
Abeg mention your state and your village and stop generalizing igbos on this one.
I'm igbo and we're I'm from we don't sell our daughters out.

who is selling who?

chiommy123:
sell. Nothing like that here.

Why are you defending bride price?? are you a teenager or what exactly?

Mature ladies who know the dangers of this stuff are condemning it but you're here telling me how bride price isn't slavery and justifying it.

Elder001:
Why are you defending bride price?? are you a teenager or what exactly?

Mature ladies who know the dangers of this stuff are condemning it but you're here telling me how bride price isn't slavery and justifying it.

condemning it is not enough. They should go home (village) and dialogue with their fathers (elders). Typing anything they like can never change anything

chiommy123:
condemning it is not enough. They should go home (village) and dialogue with their fathers (elders). Typing anything they like can never change anything

Your father doesn't own you. As an adult you have a say what to do with your life.

If you don't want to get sold you can opt for only registry marriage and church wedding or you can just do only registry marriage.

Elder001:
Your father doesn't own you. As an adult you have a say what to do with your life.

If you don't want to get sold you can opt for only registry marriage and church wedding or you can just do only registry marriage.

I really don't like argument. Just registry marriage is no marriage. I can do only traditional and forget the others. That's the main thing

chiommy123:
I really don't like argument. Just registry marriage is no marriage. I can do only traditional and forget the others. That's the main thing

Just registry marriage isn't marriage? can you invite your wife or husband to come and stay with you in another country without registry marriage certificate?
Tufiakwa, which kind woman be this one??

I refuse to believe that you're a woman.. no Nigerian lady will type this ridiculous stuff you just typed.

and if you're indeed a lady, congrats. Allow your family to sell you off.
Can't believe I've been wasting my time all this while.

Elder001:
Just registry marriage isn't marriage? can you invite your wife or husband to come and stay with you in another country without registry marriage certificate?
Tufiakwa, which kind woman be this one??

I refuse to believe that you're a woman.. no Nigerian lady will type this ridiculous stuff you just typed.

and if you're indeed a lady, congrats. Allow your family to sell you off.
Can't believe I've been wasting my time all this while.

you can pack one side with your Nigerian lady mentality. I have my believe and am not moved by whatever anybody thinks.

Elder001:
Just registry marriage isn't marriage? can you invite your wife or husband to come and stay with you in another country without registry marriage certificate?
Tufiakwa, which kind woman be this one??

I refuse to believe that you're a woman.. no Nigerian lady will type this ridiculous stuff you just typed.

and if you're indeed a lady, congrats. Allow your family to sell you off.
Can't believe I've been wasting my time all this while.

You wan go debate with selfish bushmo.

I can only pay bride price for a lady who:
1) Is comfortable in giving what i can't pay for or afford or atleast 10% of her income.
2) Shared/compactible core values, life-focus/outlook and tolerable differences.
3) Submissive when am broke and shows some sort of reverence (which usually comes from you being better at whatever she likes,what she is good at, loves or has).

AcuraZDX:
A Nigerian lady simply identified as @fetonghan on twitter, has got herself trending on the platform over her controversial post.



According to the lady, women from Imo, Cross river and Akwa Ibom state are supposed to be rolling on the floor during their traditional marriage because of the heart stopping bride price marriage list their prospective in-laws paid.

She wrote;
“Btw, if you are Imo, Kalabari, Cross river, Akwa Ibom please sit this argument out. With the list we give men, we should lie down and roll, not just kneel.”



Bride price is a sum of money or quantity of goods given to a bride’s family by that of the groom in some tribal societies.


Before now, a Nigerian woman based in Toronto has told of how she challenged cultural norms by choosing not to kneel down for her husband during her traditional marriage, and that Nigerian men are mad about it. The gorgeous Yoruba bride said she and her husband spoke …


More below:

https://zenithnaija.com/the-kind-of-list-we-give-men-in-imo-akwa-ibom-women-are-meant-to-be-rolling-on-the-floor-during-traditional-wedding-2/

Ignorance Efik bride price is next to zero. It's also fixed based on tradition

IntrovertedK:
Hi safari.. The bride isn't the one to benefit from this brideprice i tagged Poverty alleviation scheme. Igbo parents marry their daughters to whosoever can afford the brideprice irrespective of status, i know it's not all though buh i still think the brideprice is all they care for when giving their daughters out in marriage. So the tag *Poverty alleviation scheme* is to only benefit the brides' family and maybe community. They give their daughters hand not only to the rich i know so don't get me wrong please. And that's the area the complaint (or maybe discussion though since it's none of my business) comes from. It shouldn't be like that, people that are trying to come together as one to start a new life (a family) should be supported instead, i'm not saying there's anything bad in brideprice please buh should at least be reasonable. Have seen an okada man (of Igbo descent of course) who went home to marry only to come back to sell his only means of livelihood just to start his new family after exhausting all his savings on brideprice payment. It took him months before he was able to get back. It's not a must they bill husband to be that much all in the name of brideprice, it's not as if heaven will fall down if they choose not to collect more than a change as dowry and marry the daughter off. Their heavy and high bill makes it look like they are selling their female daughter hence the tag *Poverty alleviation scheme*

by the way, that is that. I saw your thread where you review movies. Can you review songs like that also? And are you a journalist (either in the making or made)? Or you just have the special skill in journalism?

Anyway, whichever way it is, i love the way you review the movies, buh your critics are kinda too much on some of 'em, you shouldn't make the producers and cast feel so depressed that much.

Hope i can PM you for future business though (i have some plans for the future i'd like to involve your skill in) i pray God will keep us more than then. So i can at least have your full contact details (like mail, number and social media contacts). Thanks.

if you want to PM me, I'd advise you don't go through my Nairaland mail. My functional email is in my profile

I'm neither a journalist in making or made, I just write. I review songs sometimes, but can't say if it is similar to my movie reviews. And thanks for the compliment

safarigirl:
if you want to PM me, I'd advise you don't go through my Nairaland mail. My functional email is in my profile

I'm neither a journalist in making or made, I just write. I review songs sometimes, but can't say if it is similar to my movie reviews. And thanks for the compliment

got it. I'd surely get to you. Takie.

chiommy123:
better behave yourself. Nonsense

Oluku

AkupeMBANO:
Oluku

am very disciplined I don't exchange words OK. Good night

chiommy123:
am very disciplined I don't exchange words OK. Good night

it is not "am", it is I'm. and stop quoting me.

AkupeMBANO:
it is not "am", it is I'm. and stop quoting me.

am not going to stop quoting you cos you said it but cos I want to besides you first did and stop ranting