₦airaland Forum

I got married at 25, finished my PhD at 27 and became a Professor at 40.

So fast you see! Yes, everything around me worked fast. It is now that I realise that it was a misplaced priority.

My ambition blindfolded me and I got it all wrong, that is why I am sharing my experience through this medium to warn and encourage our young mothers not to be careless as I was back then.

I worked very hard as a lecturer and as an administrator, always so busy that it became my language to my children…”I’m busy”.

My mum was around to nurse the children for me for some time. The moment they clocked ten, I sent them to boarding schools, though my husband was not in support of this. I always found my way.

I had no warm relationship with my children, 2 boys and a girl.

I never knew it was a bad idea not to have time for my husband, children and the household, until 5 years ago, when guilt, loneliness and restlessness filled my heart.

I sent for my children to rejoice with me on my 60th birthday.

The two boys, living in Canada said they are “busy” and that their sister will come down from South Africa.

Two days to my birthday, my daughter sent this message to me, “Mum, I am very sorry not to be around over there, there is no time to squeeze out, my husband needs my attention at his newly established clinic and presently, I’m pregnant. “I’m very very busy,

I’m also lonely in a strange land. Please pray for us mum. Happy birthday”. I could not recover from the meaning I got from the message… “First-things-First”. When they needed me for warmth and discussion, I was not available, now I needed them for warmth and discussion I could not get them, rather they returned my slogan back to me, “I’m busy”

To worsen the matter, my dear husband died in his sleep a month after… Only one of the children came ​without​ his family to the burial ceremony.

I was dumbfounded!!! Considered Opinion: it is good to work and be a hard working fellow.

But hear this important and salient truth:

Parenting is sacrificial work, give it all it takes. Avoid any work that will take away your attention too much from your home – Avoid it and be careful!

Solidify your home first, create time for your spouse and children.

Establish the fear of God in their hearts through your attitude and behaviour.

Though it is costly now, the future reward is worth it.

This is an eye opener for both men and women.

Let’s be selflessly available when our children need us.


Source: Why You Should Put Your Family First

Lalsticlala, Mynd44

This looks like fp material. lemme come. and. be goin first

Insightful!

I agree with you there is need to create family moments n be there for your children/spouse as much as possible.

Nevertheless your major problem is that your husband is late, being a widow at old age is not easy because all your children have left the house. To make matter worst for you there is no love between you and your children other one of your girls would have convinced the hubby to allow you live with them

I agree with poster , family first,no woman should sacrifice the love for her children for anything, I mean absolutely nothing.

Family moments are important for bonding.
I remember growing up, my days made sure we ate together on the table or on the floor, wen he's not around we ate wit mum.. Wen they are both not around we dish and all the kids eat together..
Dad would take us to apap amusement park, lekki beach on birthdays and some holidays to shows that these days were indeed special and we were always looking forward to it. One one occasion he rode the horse wit us and since we were too Small to get to the beach water, he took us one after the other to make our feet touch the water and web the waves came, we would shout and run, life was so much fun

Some days we would just sit at home after dinner and take turns cracking jokes and yabbing each other..

We formed a great family bond till date even web most of us are married we still cherish any little moment spent together even with grandchildren makes it more fun

No one should deprive children of these moments , I can't rember many things my parents bought for me, but I never forget the memories

I know a woman that before traveling abroad had 3 kids in Nigeria, trains the 2 girls and leaves the guy out. The guy does conductor to pay his school fees and his mother is alive in USA and don’t call or greet him on his birthday. Now what do you think will befall such a woman that also says she rather use her money to drink beer than send the guy to school. The guy is now building his own house and has his car now.he hates women like as Boko Haram hates Christians

We women are really wicked honestly. She is married and has a Usa citizenship so she doesn’t want to invite the guy or help his situation. It is only time that will bring her to her senses but let’s hope it won’t be late

Parents should have time for their kids and not play favoritism amongst the children.

Wilfredpat22:
I know a woman that before traveling abroad had 3 kids in Nigeria, trains the 2 girls and leaves the guy out. The guy does conductor to pay his school fees and his mother is alive in USA and don’t call or greet him on his birthday. Now what do you think will befall such a woman that also says she rather use her money to drink beer than send the guy to school. The guy is now building his own house and has his car now.he hates women like as Boko Haram hates Christians

We women are really wicked honestly. She is married and has a Usa citizenship so she doesn’t want to invite the guy or help his situation. It is only time that will bring her to her senses but let’s hope it won’t be late

Parents should have time for their kids and not play favoritism amongst the children.

man hiding female moniker

Wilfredpat22:
I know a woman that before traveling abroad had 3 kids in Nigeria, trains the 2 girls and leaves the guy out. The guy does conductor to pay his school fees and his mother is alive in USA and don’t call or greet him on his birthday. Now what do you think will befall such a woman that also says she rather use her money to drink beer than send the guy to school. The guy is now building his own house and has his car now.he hates women like as Boko Haram hates Christians

We women are really wicked honestly. She is married and has a Usa citizenship so she doesn’t want to invite the guy or help his situation. It is only time that will bring her to her senses but let’s hope it won’t be late

Parents should have time for their kids and not play favoritism amongst the children.

Is this your story? Is this why you hate women so much? Because I know that you are a man.

Wilfredpat22:
I know a woman that before traveling abroad had 3 kids in Nigeria, trains the 2 girls and leaves the guy out. The guy does conductor to pay his school fees and his mother is alive in USA and don’t call or greet him on his birthday. Now what do you think will befall such a woman that also says she rather use her money to drink beer than send the guy to school. The guy is now building his own house and has his car now.he hates women like as Boko Haram hates Christians

We women are really wicked honestly. She is married and has a Usa citizenship so she doesn’t want to invite the guy or help his situation. It is only time that will bring her to her senses but let’s hope it won’t be late

Parents should have time for their kids and not play favoritism amongst the children.

This your story get K-Leg. Why is the mother not supporting the son?

: just to drive home his fictions,shit happens!

Opinionated:
This your story get K-Leg. Why is the mother not supporting the son?