₦airaland Forum

redditor: I dealt with a guy once who wanted me to take on his road traffic accident PI claim. He had written a poem, in Yoruba, about the accident. He refused to tell me anything about his case until he's read the whole thing, in Yoruba.

Among other problems, I can't speak any fucking Yoruba. As in, not one word. As in, that day was the first time I had ever heard of the Yoruba language. I'm not even from a part of the world where I might readily be mistaken for someone who speaks Yoruba. It's a West African language, and I am really, really obviously not from a West African background.

I try to explain this to the guy who becomes very agitated and insists that he must read out his poem in Yoruba. I give up and tell him to get on with it so we can talk about his claim. He does. It takes him nearly 20 minutes to finish.

Anyway, after he's done, he finishes and sits back with a big smile and says that he's certain I'll take his case on now. I begin to ask him some questions about his case, but he refuses to answer. He says that this poem (in Yoruba) is everything I need to know about his case.

Basically, I tell him to Bleep off and stop wasting my time. He does, but not before standing around outside my office for an hour or so, reading out his poem, to no-one in particular, over and over again.

In Yoruba.

hopefulLandlord:
lol

hahn:
Why didn't what work?

wiegraf:
The poem should have jazzed him, no?

hahn:
This is actually no different from what Christians and Muslims do when they pray before a meeting, interview, outing etc

It is all in the same bullshit realm occupied by idiots

joseph1013:
[b] YAHWEH vs AMADIOHA

What is the difference between Yahweh and Amadioha? Nothing, they are both gods.

What is the difference between the speaking in tongues of a “born again” Christian and the incantations of a Juju worshipper? Nothing! They both speak gibberish in the name of talking to gods.

What is the difference between the sacrificial rituals in the bible and the sacrificial ritual of the African traditional worshipper? Nothing. They are both rituals.

What is the difference between the Pope’s regalia and the Juju priest's regalia? Nothing, except the Pope's regalia shines more.

What is difference between the statues, symbols, altars, and signs in churches and the idols and symbols in the temple of the juju priest? Nothing.

What is the difference between a pastor casting out demons and evil spirits with swearing, binding/casting and the exorcism of evil spirit by the Juju priest? Nothing.

There is only one difference - packaging! No religion is superior to another. Foreign religion appears to be more divine than our local religion simply because they are well packaged.

Force me to choose one of the two, I like the fans of Amadioha more. At least I know our politicians fear him more. [/b]

wiegraf:
The poem should have jazzed him, no?

LordReed:
LoL! Is that what it was supposed to be?
It never occurred to me until your statement.

MuttleyLaff:
Shocking you didnt know that is "Ọfọ̀ Asẹ" and/or "Ògèdè"
It's simply reciting "Incantation(s)" which are "words of Power" allegedly to gain advantage, favour or an edge
Patrons employ it for good and nefarious activities

For the unenlightened, this can be an experience, scarier than the "Ojuju Calabar" you upandan was mentioning on the other thread

LordReed:
Can you show me where in the OP "Ọfọ̀ Asẹ" and/or "Ògèdè" is written?

NPComplete:
That is easily inferred from the OP. It doesn't need to be stated. And those are the nouns used in Yoruba language.

hahn:
Why didn't what work?

redditor: I dealt with a guy once who wanted me to take on his road traffic accident PI claim.
He had written a poem, in Yoruba, about the accident.
He refused to tell me anything about his case until he's read the whole thing, in Yoruba.

Among other problems, I can't speak any bleeping Yoruba. As in, not one word.
As in, that day was the first time I had ever heard of the Yoruba language.
I'm not even from a part of the world where I might readily be mistaken for someone who speaks Yoruba.
It's a West African language, and I am really, really obviously not from a West African background.

I try to explain this to the guy who becomes very agitated and insists that he must read out his poem in Yoruba.
I give up and tell him to get on with it so we can talk about his claim. He does. It takes him nearly 20 minutes to finish.

Anyway, after he's done, he finishes and sits back with a big smile and says that he's certain I'll take his case on now.
I begin to ask him some questions about his case, but he refuses to answer.
He says that this poem (in Yoruba) is everything I need to know about his case.

Basically, I tell him to Bleep off and stop wasting my time.
He does, but not before standing around outside my office for an hour or so,
reading out his poem, to no-one in particular, over and over again in Yoruba

wiegraf:
Heres an American lawyer's response to the question
"what's the stupidest case you've been asked to take on (and did you)?

So, why didn't it work?

LordReed:
Can you show me where in the OP "Ọfọ̀ Asẹ" and/or "Ògèdè" is written?

NPComplete:
That is easily inferred from the OP. It doesn't need to be stated. And those are the nouns used in Yoruba language.

MuttleyLaff:
If at all it works, it wouldnt and/or doesnt work across the Atlantic



Thank you NPComplete for this response

LordReed, the word poem, in the OP was for the unenlightened, used as a euphemism in place of "Ọfọ̀ Asẹ" and/or "Ògèdè"

LordReed, you wouldnt, by some chance, heard or know anything about the Fadeyi Oloro, Orisa Bunmi, Esu Kekere etcetera of this world?

"Eyi a fi sọwọ ọtun, ọwọ ọtun nii gbe
Eyi a fi sọwọ osi, ọwọ osi nii gbe

Eyi a ba wi fọgbọ, ni ọgbọ ngbọ
Eyi a ba wi fọgba, ni ọgba ngba

Ọrọ, ti okete, ba ba, ilẹ sọ, ni ilẹ ngba.
Gbogbo ẹyin haters mi oo, awọn ọta mi o, ẹ maa bayi gangan, gbe ori wọle
Ẹ pada, si ibi ti, ẹti dede wa.
Bẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹẹni mo sọ
Emi lo sọ bẹ

Kosekose, ni ti, ilakọsẹ.
Ko ri bẹ, Ko si se bẹ.
Tuo! Ko se bẹ!! (Tuo, is spitting saliva forcibly from the mouth, as a sign of coming to the end and/or highest point of the incantation)
Poo! Poo!! Pooo!!! (grande finale sound coming from, three times, tapping charm on floor or any nearby object to end incantation with)
Ki Asẹ gun!!!"

The above is a snippet sample
Told you, for the unenlightened, this can be an experience, scarier than the "Ojuju Calabar" you upandan was mentioning on the other thread

#IfYouKnowYouKnow
If you know, you know

LordReed:
LoLz, folktales are supposed to scare me?
Maybe when I was under 10 years old, not today bruv.

MuttleyLaff:
[img]https://s1/images/MuttAmin.gif[/img]
Boo! Got ya. Scaredy cat
We are grown,
that's why you sabi get mouth now

LordReed:
Hahahaha, oh you want me to carry the same fear you carry right? LoLz!

MuttleyLaff:
This is the thing.
I never once carried or harboured the fear though.
It's a mind thing I never and didn't entertain.

Niflheim:
@wiegraf,

The reason it did not work, is the same reason why the words "open sesame" will not open the biggest vaults of Central bank Nigeria!!! The so-called magic words of the poem(just like the words "open sesame", originate from the realm of fiction!!! Only a "super lunatic" will atempt to apply them in reality!!!