₦airaland Forum

A friend of mine got married 4 years ago to his wife, before the marriage, the wife was looking for job while my friend was already established always traveling overseas for business trips. At first my friend told his then girlfriend that she need to secure a job before the marriage cos he don't want her to be liability neither will he want to be liability to her .He make her understand the need for her to be doing something in case of any eventuality so that she can support the home. Along the line as the job wasn't forthcoming, she told my friend she will go into good business and that she has plans which my friend told her he will finance what ever business she want to do.
They got married, my friend was expecting his wife to come up with something but she didn't. One year passed nothing, then the second year, she said she want to learn fashion which my friend supported paid for her and after she finished but her necessary equipment even told the wife to get a place he will finance everything, but his wife did nothing even after learning the fashion.
To cut the story short. Right now my friend is financially down and after 4 years of married his wife still don't do anything. All my friends effort to make his wife to be financially independent failed. Even at a point my friend put his wife on allowance , he was just doing everything alone. Even when he wanted to invest millions on his wife but the wife refuse to do anything.
Lastly, my friend also noticed one thing, he said anytime he is progressing on something once the wife get notice of it the things will end abruptly. My friend got his wife first car and before she could the used it it knock engine, second and third car same. At a point he even went into depression and seek spiritual help from different pastors and everything was pointed to his wife direction, he said he discussed it with the wife on what to do but she just laugh over it. Now no finance at home, all his business down, kids can't be taken care of and the wife still jobless and still do nothing. My friend totally fed up, at a point he contemplated suicide.
What advice do you have for him?

Why not..an impatient wife can push a patient husband into doing something that can make the devil shout blood of jesus...thought,they swore to be together for better or worst...challenges always ends in testimonies.

Sorry to ask but it's where my heart it directed. What sort of business was he into? How was he making the money?
I ask because if it was not genuine, it can only go as it came. Why did your friend not also have business ideas when he had money. It's God that gives ideas to make wealth so I will suggest Ur friend to look inwards.
Even if the wife is lazy, that shouldn't be the reason for his situation. He should look inwards, when a man seeks God, he finds him.

It's obvious the kind of eoman she got isn't his type. The wife is a bad type and with this dispensation, a wife need to be self sufficient.

Let your friend decide, no one decides for him to marry her.

He should take her to a marriage counselor.

Suicide is not the best.

yvelchstores:
Sorry to ask but it's where my heart it directed. What sort of business was he into? How was he making the money?
I ask because if it was not genuine, it can only go as it came. Why did your friend not also have business ideas when he had money. It's God that gives ideas to make wealth so I will suggest Ur friend to look inwards.
Even if the wife is lazy, that shouldn't be the reason for his situation. He should look inwards, when a man seeks God, he finds him.

This is someone I know for more than 20 years. His business is 100percent genuine. Even if it's other way round, that should not stop his wife from doing something for her self and family.

eluquenson:
It's obvious the kind of eoman she got isn't his type. The wife is a bad type and with this dispensation, a wife need to be self sufficient.

Let your friend decide, no one decides for him to marry her.

He should take her to a marriage counselor.

Suicide is not the best.

Good suggestion. But my friend pain now is that, the capacity is no longer there even if she is forced to do something but though she is still doing sit at home.

Ssalk:
This is someone I know for more than 20 years. His business is 100percent genuine. Even if it's other way round, that should not stop his wife from doing something for her self and family.

Hmmm. He should embrace God. Nothing can't be turned around.

donbachi:
Why not..an impatient wife can push a patient husband into doing something that can make the devil shout blood of jesus...thought,they swore to be together for better or worst...challenges always ends in testimonies.

It's such a sad situation cos this guy partly made me whom I am today and we have be supporting him. His empire just crumpled since his marriage.

BE STRONG AND VERY COURAGEOUS.

Friday, September 14th 2018
Pastor Chris

Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law… (Joshua 1:7).

Sometimes, in your journey of faith, things could get so hard and tough, and during those tough times, it could seem like God is far away. But the Lord is saying to you even now, “Know that at such times, I’m right there with you, because I’m in you! Therefore, be strong, and very courageous.” That means, don’t stagger.

Be like Abraham; the Bible says he staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strong in faith, giving glory to God (Romans 4:20). Don’t say, “I don’t know the way things are now; I’m tired of all these troubles”; no! Troubles arise, and gravitate towards their solution. The challenges you’re facing today are tailor-made for you; they’re bread for you; chew them up. Refuse to faint in the day of adversity.

1 John 4:4 says you’re of God; that means you hail from God; therefore, you’ve already overcome your troubles, challenges, pressures, adversaries, and adversities, because Christ, the greater One, lives in you. Hold on to the Word.

The doctors may have said your fallopian tube is damaged, or that your lungs have become dysfunctional, or that you’ve got just few days to live; refuse to give up! Stand your ground in faith. Against hope, believe in hope, the hope provided in the Word, and it’ll prevail in your situation!

Maybe it’s a problem in your family, or with your children; maybe you’re feeling sick in your body, or it’s your loved one that’s suffering so badly. I have good news for you: everything will turn into a testimony for you. 2 Corinthians 4:17 says, “…our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.”

There’s glory for you at the end; it’s for sure! Just remain confident in the power of God’s Word to put you over, irrespective of the circumstances.

CONFESSION
The Lord is my light and my salvation; He’s the strength, and the stronghold of my life! I stand firm in faith, courageous and strong in the power of His might. I’m confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in me will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. The Word of God is my anchor in the storm. Glory to God!

FURTHER STUDY:

|| 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 [We are] troubled on every side, yet not distressed; [we are] perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; ||

|| Psalm 34:19-20 Many [are] the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all. 20 He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken. ||

|| 1 Corinthians 16:13 Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong. ||

Ssalk:
It's such a sad situation cos this guy partly made me whom I am today and we have be supporting him. His empire just crumpled since his marriage.

his wife is a destiny killer

My friend story again

This is one of the reasons I've taken it upon myself to be advising all of my unmarried male friends.
Never contemplate marrying a jobless lady, forget about ego. Now that he's financially down How'll the family move forward? Four years of marriage, during the whole four years the woman refused to work and the man didn't do anything.

Some people have bad omen while some have good omen. A fellow can come into your life and everything will change for the better but another fellow will come into your life and everything would get worse. It has nothing to do with spirituality.

TELL YOUR FRIEND TO CHASE THAT WOMAN AWAY FROM HIS LIFE.

yvelchstores:
Sorry to ask but it's where my heart it directed. What sort of business was he into? How was he making the money?
I ask because if it was not genuine, it can only go as it came. Why did your friend not also have business ideas when he had money. It's God that gives ideas to make wealth so I will suggest Ur friend to look inwards.
Even if the wife is lazy, that shouldn't be the reason for his situation. He should look inwards, when a man seeks God, he finds him.

I get your point...but sincerely, the man has no fault in blaming her for being lazy. That's why they say-marry someone with ambition and goals. She obviously had none before the wedding and it worsened after. A woman should increase her husband in every way...not leave him to do it all while she relaxes.
Its a different thing if she tried and it didn't work out though.
Omo...this marriage thing na to shine eyes oooo

Winter4:
I get your point...but sincerely, the man has no fault in blaming her for being lazy. That's why they say-marry someone with ambition and goals. She obviously had none before the wedding and it worsened after. A woman should increase her husband in every way...not leave him to do it all while she relaxes.
Its a different thing if she tried and it didn't work out though.
Omo...this marriage thing na to shine eyes oooo

indeed, u are very correct

Op,your friend must keep marrying her and not kill himself.
Look its time he told himself the truth instead of blaming the wife.
He had options when the going was good;
1.Not to marry her unless she starts work.
2.Insist no children until she starts work.housewives like childbirth competition
3.You should have started a side hustle and find someone to manage it other than the wife.

You can do this now,a family friend used it and it worked for him.If it doesn't,you are on your own.

4.Find a way to send a message to her that u r tired of taking care of her lazy ass.He absconded with the kids and told her to go and take care of herself that he was tired.well by the time she brought her family members and they heard the storys,everyone supported the husband.She is working now and the family has reunited.

Somethings can only be tackled spiritually. Such as this. Some people are sent to destroy some other person's.

There's no spiritual issue with the wife,she's just a lazy and unambitious woman.
Well,it's the guy's fault too.You MARRY a woman who is DOING something and not one you think WILL DO something.

He can't quit the marriage......it's for better for worse. He shouldn't contemplate suicide too,who will he leave the children for?
He just has to brace up and face the tough time,it will pass.He should put his hand to the plough and bring something home.
As for the wife,make e dey manage am like dat dey go.

Chai! What a story!

Biko, can we discuss what the mechanics said about three cars engine knocking before being used? Could water have been filled in their furl tanks? Abi na ororo?

It is well o...they are in this together.

yvelchstores:
Sorry to ask but it's where my heart it directed. What sort of business was he into? How was he making the money?
I ask because if it was not genuine, it can only go as it came. Why did your friend not also have business ideas when he had money. It's God that gives ideas to make wealth so I will suggest Ur friend to look inwards.
Even if the wife is lazy, that shouldn't be the reason for his situation. He should look inwards, when a man seeks God, he finds him.

According to you "What sort of business was he into? How was he making the money? I ask because if it was not genuine, it can only go as it came. Why did your friend not also have business ideas when he had money. It's God that gives ideas to make wealth so I will suggest Ur friend to look inwards. Even if the wife is lazy, that shouldn't be the reason for his situation."

Believe you me, this type of thought process is not just myopic but also cruel. Loss of business empire/accumulated riches usually has less or nothing to do with the means it was built/acquired, instead factors like lack of innovation and not knowing when to divest and diversify are some of the major causes. Personally, the first and most viable and profitable (as at the time) of the companies I established about a decade ago through which I made some considerable fortune then went comatose and I lost almost everything I acquired through it. That happened not because I was into something illegal no - small-minded acquaintances, near and afar, thought I was - rather it happened because of the current day-to-day technological innovations and advancement in its sector.

Also, I have a particular associate, an American, that was a multimillionaire (in dollars), he acquired his wealth through the most honest means you can think of, but he lost everything about two years ago - although his problem was partly caused by a bad woman (a story for another day). He's yet to regain his stand up to now, not because he's bereft of ideas, but because the sub-sector of the global economy through which he built his business and acquired his riches isn't viable any more today.

Meanwhile, @OP, your friend needs to accept responsibility of his actions and inactions first, instead of apportioning blames towards his wife. He shouldn't allow religious/spiritual merchants to compound his woes. If they are certain that the wife has aura of bad luck that follows her, but couldn't proffer solution to liberate her from it, that means they aren't genuine. His first mistake was getting married to a woman that didn't tick the resourcefulness and productiveness box of his need in a wife, so he has to assume, in good faith, responsibility of his feeble-mindedness in this regard - his feeble-mindedness made him to accept the wife's (then girlfriend) flimsy excuse and promise of becoming productive and resourceful when in the marriage rather than proving herself as at then.

Well, as unpalatable as a housewife may be to some people, as long as she isn't greedy and self-centered, she will always be better than an ambitious and prosperous wife who's greedy and/or self-centered. A conscientious wife/woman will/should forever be adored by her husband, because among her other good attributes, she's contented, resourceful and productive - whether independently earning money or not.

Let him focus on finding his feet again. Then when he succeeds, he can begin to give the wife ultimatum to either embrace resourcefulness and productiveness or they go their separate ways. This is not the ideal time to join issues with her wife.

Ssalk:
A friend of mine got married 4 years ago to his wife, before the marriage, the wife was looking for job while my friend was already established always traveling overseas for business trips. At first my friend told his then girlfriend that she need to secure a job before the marriage cos he don't want her to be liability neither will he want to be liability to her .He make her understand the need for her to be doing something in case of any eventuality so that she can support the home. Along the line as the job wasn't forthcoming, she told my friend she will go into good business and that she has plans which my friend told her he will finance what ever business she want to do.
They got married, my friend was expecting his wife to come up with something but she didn't. One year passed nothing, then the second year, she said she want to learn fashion which my friend supported paid for her and after she finished but her necessary equipment even told the wife to get a place he will finance everything, but his wife did nothing even after learning the fashion.
To cut the story short. Right now my friend is financially down and after 4 years of married his wife still don't do anything. All my friends effort to make his wife to be financially independent failed. Even at a point my friend put his wife on allowance , he was just doing everything alone. Even when he wanted to invest millions on his wife but the wife refuse to do anything.
Lastly, my friend also noticed one thing, he said anytime he is progressing on something once the wife get notice of it the things will end abruptly. My friend got his wife first car and before she could the used it it knock engine, second and third car same. At a point he even went into depression and seek spiritual help from different pastors and everything was pointed to his wife direction, he said he discussed it with the wife on what to do but she just laugh over it. Now no finance at home, all his business down, kids can't be taken care of and the wife still jobless and still do nothing. My friend totally fed up, at a point he contemplated suicide.
What advice do you have for him?

He must not chicken out. He created this mess and should man up and clean things up.

Chubhie:
He must not chicken out. He created this mess and should man up and clean things up.

But how? Advice please

thorpido:
There's no spiritual issue with the wife,she's just a lazy and unambitious woman.
Well,it's the guy's fault too.You MARRY a woman who is DOING something and not one you think WILL DO something.

He can't quit the marriage......it's for better for worse. He shouldn't contemplate suicide too,who will he leave the children for?
He just has to brace up and face the tough time,it will pass.He should put his hand to the plough and bring something home.
As for the wife,make e dey manage am like dat dey go.

Manage am dey go? OK thanks

Ssalk:
But how? Advice please

Tell him to drop the suicidal ideas and quit making his dearly beloved wife a scapegoat.

Mr Man, only failures blame people. Every effect is as a result of choices you've made. A real hustler should know businesses have cycles,should know that there will always be unforseen circumstances. 1) when ever you are make money the first thing you should do is invest and not rush to marry. I have seen lots of guys who worked offshore become broke man.

2) Your friend is bad at making decisions. For the fact you are sleeping with a girl doesn't make her a wife material.

3) you don't gamble with people who don't have the zeal and determination to succeed. I was raised by my mother and I can't marry any girl that is not more ambitious than my Mama.

[quote author=thorpido post=71195137]There's no spiritual issue with the wife,she's just a lazy and unambitious woman.
Well,it's the guy's fault too.You MARRY a woman who is DOING something and not one you think WILL DO something.

He can't quit the marriage......it's for better for worse. He shouldn't contemplate suicide too,who will he leave the children for?
He just has to brace up and face the tough time,it will pass.He should put his hand to the plough and bring something home.
As for the wife,make e dey manage am like dat dey go.[/quote

Well said Sir..
I couldn't agree more..

Winter4:
I get your point...but sincerely, the man has no fault in blaming her for being lazy. That's why they say-marry someone with ambition and goals. She obviously had none before the wedding and it worsened after. A woman should increase her husband in every way...not leave him to do it all while she relaxes.
Its a different thing if she tried and it didn't work out though.
Omo...this marriage thing na to shine eyes oooo

Sense will not be far from u. U said right

Chai! What member story! Biko, WC we talk over which on mechanics same now three cars motor tick-tock place creature used? Could aquatic bring forth been filled on its furl tanks? Abbé na ororo? It am now o...they is on that together.