Gd day everybody i need urgent advice sumting Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and Unclad photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?

Chiamaka789022:
Gd day everybody i need urgent advice sumting Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and Unclad photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?

My dear u did nothing wrong with objecting to his proposals... question is, what if u go ahead and get pregnant is there any guarantee that it's going to be a boy? Sorry to say my dear from the look of things your darling husband doesn't love you.. he accepted to someone that u are DEAD! which sane man does that? that means u are better off dead to him. Left for me I can't inconvenience my self for that kind of a patner what if I get in there(labour room) and don't come out alive, what happens to my girls? He should get pregnant him self and give us the baby b0y!

We have read this story here recently
And u got advice u needed, but here u are again with copy and paste.
This only shows that this Is cooked up

I really sympathies with you. such is the nature of human beings- not satisfied with what we have. there are others who are praying for just child irrespective of the sex. you needs to take a drastic measures to save your marriage. maybe you should try to adopt a son. if he doesn't agree, get the help of respected family members to talk to him. good luck

Chiamaka789022:
Gd day everybody i need urgent advice sumting Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and Unclad photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?

A male child does not guarantee love and happiness in a marriage.
If you both want the marriage to work, it's up to the both of you .
If you both want to be happy, it's up to the both of you.
Life is not that complicated, humans make life complicated with unnecessary demands.

There are couples out there who have been together for so many years without a child, but are still hopeful of being blessed with at least one child, be it a boy or a girl .

To raise one child these days isnt a small feat let alone four,then because of a ''male'' child will now amount to five.
Nne,God forbid but If he dies today,will You singlehandedly be able to raise 5 children?As in wetin he keep?Thats one question Every mother should Ask herself.
What is the guarantee that it will be a male?\

One Okonjo,Dora Or Amina Mohammed amongst your beautiful daughers isnt it better than this selfish journey he wants You to embark on?


For me,i'd say No,capital No.Any type of No

OP, is it two of us who married your husband?
When the going was good, did you call me to enjoy?
My friend, you have a brain: think up a solution.

He wishes you dead. I think it’s time to re-evaluate your life and it’s value to your children. Since he has thrown caution to the wind sleeping with all sorts of women unprotected, please do not sleep with him without a condom. He’s actually doing you a favor here. If you feel you cannot handle any more kids then maybe it’s time to consider if the marriage is worth it. Please start looking for a source of income and start planning your exit. Don’t wait for him to kill you to achieve selfish desires

I just hope you have a job or a source of financial independence? If you do, pick your things and leave him to his misery, he will come back after those outside would have shown him pepe.

Chiamaka789022:
Pls what should i do?

Going by the length of time you have been married, I am assuming you are not younger than 35 years old. You need to stop writing like a teenager! You should show respect to your audience by writing in proper English. I couldn't go past the first few sentences because of all the shorthand. It's an informal setting/forum but that doesn't mean English language should be butchered.

If your story is true, you need to divorce his arse

Child bearing is literally a life or death affair for women. Nobody should cajole or manipulate you into doing it unless you want to. Or worse treat you like crap in order to give in to him. if he has no value for the four children that you already have together, he can go to hell. They also need to understand that their father will rather risk their Mom’s life in order to have a child who’s different from them. They should be made to understand how little he values them.

Would you want to save a marriage where you wife is sleeping with different men and publicly admitting that you’re dead. Even telling to your face that you’re dead to her?

You folks are quick to want to put a bandaid on a gaping rotting sore when it’s a man messing up. But you’d want to cut of the whole leg with a simple scratch on it if it’s the other way around

austinekommbra:
I really sympathies with you. such is the nature of human beings- not satisfied with what we have. there are others who are praying for just child irrespective of the sex. you needs to take a drastic measures to save your marriage. maybe you should try to adopt a son. if he doesn't agree, get the help of respected family members to talk to him. good luck

All these rubbish individuals that paint the union of marriage black with selfish interest.
God will help us.
Madam, if he's rich you can add two more but if He's not. Meet his elders.

cococandy:
Would you want to save a marriage where you wife is sleeping with different men and publicly admitting that you’re dead. Even telling to your face that you’re dead to her?

You folks are quick to want to put a bandaid on a gaping rotting sore when it’s a man messing up. But you’d want to cut of the whole leg with a simple scratch on it if it’s the other way around

Exactly, Selfish Individuals every where.
I get tired with all these wrong people who say they are in marriage.

I will advise you don't remove the family planning device you have in place.Why should he put you under pressure to have more babies?You both agreed to four children before marriage anyway.
Moreover your health matters.If you had a caeserian section for any of your babies then I wouldn't even want you to bother with another.

You need to reevaluate your relationship with your husband.He's treating you like crap and you need to place a value on yourself in what you have now as marriage and decide if you will keep putting up with it.

You need to talk to your family members about what is going on.I would have said talk to his family members but I don't know if they would support him.Elders need to come in here.

I’m ashamed of people asking the poster to divorce her husband. This simply shows that many people are extremely emotionally frustrated in life and wants to poster to join their team. Shameful to read someone saying birthing is a life and death thing - have you not heard of men who died trying to impregnate their wives? For the OP, your challenge is not as big as some frustrated people are trying to exaggerate it, as I believe with proper communication and speaking to people your husband respects, the issue can be dealt with harmoniously.

U should have at least try settling it amicably. Most Nigeria men prefer baby boys to girls. Now that he is cheating on you, let him impregnate one of them. Over look things, pray and take care of your girls. Don't let his actions bother u so much. Take care of him, show him lots of love and respect. With God, he will one day ask for your forgiveness

This was My neighbour last yr After his wife birthed theirthird baby girl.Their rshp soured to the point that neighbours had to intervene and urged the mqn to make do with Those girls and train them well.
last last he went outside and got another lady pregnant.

He was so sure of a male ,he had already thteatened the wife .Lol,the day he came to inform My husband that the baby had arrived,My ears were itching .

Sidechick birthed a baby girl



Oga is humbled

Show love and respect to someone who treats her like she’s dead.

Na wa for some of you. Saying what you can’t do. Like she isn’t a human being with feelings and needs.

Why not tell her to help him wash him junk after he’s done dipping it in another woman?

adadike:
U should have at least try settling it amicably. Most Nigeria men prefer baby boys to girls. Now that he is cheating on you, let him impregnate one of them. Over look things, pray and take care of your girls. Don't let his actions bother u so much. Take care of him, show him lots of love and respect. With God, he will one day ask for your forgiveness

tell him to divorce you then

what a waste of thread

I am ashamed of you for not having the guts to quote who are talking about. Also ashamed that you’re ignorant enough to compare the actual process of giving life to another human being from conception, the arduous pregnancy stages and the very risky moment of birth in which anything could go wrong to a man ejaculating in his wife. You just say the first thing without thinking.

It’s very obvious you have no respect for women. Or the gift of the formation of life. If you can compare 5 secs of ejaculation to almost one year that it takes for the woman to form the human being and bring it into the world at great personal risk (which includes the possibility of death). A risk that increases with age and higher number of previous births. Most women are more likely to hemorrhage during subsequent births compared to their first birth. And each birth carries a higher risk of that than the one before it.

Frustrated in real life indeed. Because I am not advising her to lick his pennis after he’s done sleeping around.
Only hopeless people with low self esteem (ergo the frustrated ones) would consider such advice as good. It shows you have no idea that she deserves better and can get better. Probably because you don’t know there is better out there and have never experienced it. That’s the definition of frustration

nonen:
I’m ashamed of people asking the poster to divorce her husband. This simply shows that many people are extremely emotionally frustrated in life and wants to poster to join their team. Shameful to read someone saying birthing is a life and death thing - have you not heard of men who died trying to impregnate their wives? For the OP, your challenge is not as big as some frustrated people are trying to exaggerate it, as I believe with proper communication and speaking to people your husband respects, the issue can be dealt with harmoniously.

nonen:
I’m ashamed of people asking the poster to divorce her husband. This simply shows that many people are extremely emotionally frustrated in life and wants to poster to join their team. Shameful to read someone saying birthing is a life and death thing - have you not heard of men who died trying to impregnate their wives? For the OP, your challenge is not as big as some frustrated people are trying to exaggerate it, as I believe with proper communication and speaking to people your husband respects, the issue can be dealt with harmoniously.

don't mind them. Marriage is not a bed of roses. Some of them are going through worse challenges yet they will open their mouth to ask her to leave her home.

Life is so simple, y complicate things? Get pregnant and scan for the sex, if female u abort. But then take the issue to your God in prayers, he will definitely give him a son to carry on his name.

Lekan1o1:
We have read this story here recently
And u got advice u needed, but here u are again with copy and paste.
This only shows that this Is cooked up

I for say. I knew the story was familiar. I had to check the date over and over to be sure it was not an old thread.

nonen:
I’m ashamed of people asking the poster to divorce her husband. This simply shows that many people are extremely emotionally frustrated in life and wants to poster to join their team. Shameful to read someone saying birthing is a life and death thing - have you not heard of men who died trying to impregnate their wives? For the OP, your challenge is not as big as some frustrated people are trying to exaggerate it, as I believe with proper communication and speaking to people your husband respects, the issue can be dealt with harmoniously.

This is news to me. How does a man die trying to impregnate his wife

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Life is so simple, y complicate things? Get pregnant and scan for the sex, if female u abort. But then take the issue to your God in prayers, he will definitely give him a son to carry on his name.

Hmmmm, what an advice!!!!

ThothHermes:
This is news to me. How does a man die trying to impregnate his wife

My dear I weak when I been see the comment. I could not even argue. Lmaooooooo

adadike:
don't mind them. Marriage is not a bed of roses. Some of them are going through worse challenges yet they will open their mouth to ask her to leave her home.

So you will stay with a man who spreads rumors that you are dead and accepts sympathies as a widower? Wow. How long do you think it will take before he actually kills you? Not too long.

comtem2011:
Hmmmm, what an advice!!!!

Looks horrible from a moralist point of view but could it be the solution to her problem?

In parts of the world where a premium is placed on male children (India, China and other Asian nations), female foeticide is pretty common.

China's one child policy caused a surge in the practice and has led to a disparity in the male female ratio. There are about 40m men who would not have partners in China because they kept on aborting female children. I think there are plans to outlaw the practice in some of those places though.

Sundarita:
I just hope you have a job or a source of financial independence? If you do, pick your things and leave him to his misery, he will come back after those outside would have shown him pepe.

Yes am a self employed and financially secure. Thanks

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Life is so simple, y complicate things? Get pregnant and scan for the sex, if female u abort. But then take the issue to your God in prayers, he will definitely give him a son to carry on his name.

Amen thanks

adadike:
U should have at least try settling it amicably. Most Nigeria men prefer baby boys to girls. Now that he is cheating on you, let him impregnate one of them. Over look things, pray and take care of your girls. Don't let his actions bother u so much. Take care of him, show him lots of love and respect. With God, he will one day ask for your forgiveness

Thank you