NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Life is so simple, y complicate things? Get pregnant and scan for the sex, if female u abort. But then take the issue to your God in prayers, he will definitely give him a son to carry on his name.

hmmnn!
see advice!!

Why are you bothering yourself, remove the family planning protection and covertly use another one. Let him keep firing blanks, when he is tired, he will stop

Chiamaka789022:
Gd day everybody i need urgent advice sumting Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and Unclad photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?

baby124:
He wishes you dead. I think it’s time to re-evaluate your life and it’s value to your children. Since he has thrown caution to the wind sleeping with all sorts of women unprotected, please do not sleep with him without a condom. He’s actually doing you a favor here. If you feel you cannot handle any more kids then maybe it’s time to consider if the marriage is worth it. Please start looking for a source of income and start planning your exit. Don’t wait for him to kill you to achieve selfish desires

cococandy:
Would you want to save a marriage where you wife is sleeping with different men and publicly admitting that you’re dead. Even telling to your face that you’re dead to her?

You folks are quick to want to put a bandaid on a gaping rotting sore when it’s a man messing up. But you’d want to cut of the whole leg with a simple scratch on it if it’s the other way around

Women and their fish brain. That's why I had to take a break from here, too much emotional talk with very little deep thinking. How easy is it even for a woman who earns 350k (something they call decent salary in Nigeria) a month to raise 4 kids? The emotional wahala, the physical wahala. What kind of life will 350k give 4 little girl? Cost of schooling, clothes, accommodation, food etc. not to talk of personal needs and household needs, generator, cable, maintenance etc, except she wants the kids to live a struggling life. Women who are always absent from work when their kids fall sick, who will take up the burden if she gets sacked? It's always so easy to advice a woman to exit. Please a woman with this kind of 'load' should not think of exiting except the earns a very very good income. With the way the OP writes, I doubt if she has decent education.

@Op,
Call your elders let them talk to your husband. Worst case scenario let him go and look for his son from another woman. Don't put yourself under further stress. No reasonable person gives birth to 4 kids these days even if they earn millions monthly. As long as he takes care of his daughters, na him sabi. Stop fighting this battle, a man looking for a male child will go any length, don't kill yourself with high bp and leave you girls motherless, that will be far worse.

If I have a fish brain, then you must have a fishier brain because I bet you would never stay with a woman who is sleeping around and telling you you’re dead to her.

Would you stay with such a woman?

If yes then welcome to the world of fish brains

If no, then choke and suffocate on your own hypocrisy

Gaggi:


Women and their fish brain. That's why I had to take a break from here, too much emotional talk with very little deep thinking. How easy is it even for a woman who earns 350k a month to raise 4 kids? The emotional wahala, the physical wahala. What kind of life will 350k give 4 little girl? Cost of schooling, clothes, accommodation, food etc. not to talk of personal needs and household needs, generator, cable, maintenance etc, except she wants the kids to live a struggling life. Women who are always absent from work when their kids fall sick, who will take up the burden if she gets sacked? It's always so easy to advice a woman to exit. Please a woman with this kind of 'load' should not think of exiting except the earns a very very good income. With the way the OP writes, I doubt if she has decent education.

@Op,
Call your elders let them talk to your husband. Worst case scenario let him go and look for his son from another woman. Don't put yourself under further stress. No reasonable person gives birth to 4 kids these days even if they earn millions monthly. As long as he takes care of his daughters, na him sabi. Stop fighting this battle, a man looking for a male child will go any length, don't kill yourself with high bp and leave you girls motherless, that will be far worse.

cococandy:
If I have a fish brain, then you must have a fishier brain because I bet you would never stay with a woman who is sleeping around and telling you you’re dead to her.

Would you stay with such a woman?

If yes then welcome to the world of fish brains

If no, then choke and suffocate on your own hypocrisy

Will you adopt the kids and provide all their needs? If no shut up and come up with a better solution. You can see I even advised her not to kill herself having more kids. 4 is even more than she should have had. Let the man go f**king around to find the chosen heir. He will be the one to have regrets in future. Yes, she should use protection henceforth, no one is against that. No be every time run, run, run. Run for mouth when una dey enjoy the joy of having a partner by your side when raising your kids. You think if it's you, you'll look this pretty with 4 kids and no support even if it's just emotional support? You will age for sure, learn to think properly before talking my dear coco.

As expected. You can’t say yes or no because your hypocrisy will be revealed.

One only enjoys the partnership of a partner who is in it with them.

Emotional support of someone who wants you dead?
And I’m the one who’s not thinking. What kind of emotional support do you think he will provide to her?

Also you assume that she wants to have sex with someone who’s a public property. You show a clear lack of reasoning. As if using protection with him will erase how she feels about his philandering. Would you want to sleep with your wife is she’s sleeping with different men because you have protection?

Take your condescending “dear coco” and tell it to yourself . My username is cococandy.

Gaggi:


Will you adopt the kids and provide all their needs? If no shut up and come up with a better solution. You can see I even advised her not to kill herself having more kids. 4 is even more than she should have had. Let the man go f**king around to find the chosen heir. He will be the one to have regrets in future. Yes, she should use protection henceforth, no one is against that. No be every time run, run, run. Run for mouth when una dey enjoy the joy of having a partner by your side when raising your kids. You think if it's you, you'll look this pretty with 4 kids and no support even if it's just emotional support? You will age for sure, learn to think properly before talking my dear coco.

ThothHermes:
Looks horrible from a moralist point of view but could it be the solution to her problem?

In parts of the world where a premium is placed on male children (India, China and other Asian nations), female foeticide is pretty common.

China's one child policy caused a surge in the practice and has led to a disparity in the male female ratio. There are about 40m men who would not have partners in China because they kept on aborting female children. I think there are plans to outlaw the practice in some of those places though.

And what happens if complications arise in the process?

fekani:


hmmnn!
see advice!!

Yes, I reason outside the box. Those shouting divorce won't b there to comfort her. From d lady's tone it seems are husband is financially capable. No need for unreasonable sentiments.

comtem2011:
And what happens if complications arise in the process?

I no follow you argue. I just dey tell you something.

Complications arise during normal birth also.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Life is so simple, y complicate things? Get pregnant and scan for the sex, if female u abort. But then take the issue to your God in prayers, he will definitely give him a son to carry on his name.

Like seriously?
Now I have seen it all

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Yes, I reason outside the box. Those shouting divorce won't b there to comfort her. From d lady's tone it seems are husband is financially capable. No need for unreasonable sentiments.

who is showing unreasonable sentiments?I don't talk too much abeg but giving that kind of advice on a public forum says a lot.
what if she lost her life in the process?
The husband's financial capability will wake her abi?

fekani:


who is showing unreasonable sentiments?I don't talk too much abeg but giving that kind of advice on a public forum says a lot.
what if she lost her life in the process?
The husband's financial capability will wake her abi?

Sir/MA it's a practical advise. I believe strong by faith she can have a son. After all I have an aunt who went for scan and they found only one baby but she held strongly to her faith for a twin and voila! She had twins.

quote author=Chiamaka789022 post=76146753]Gd day everybody i need urgent advice sumting Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and Unclad photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?[/quote]

U guys should consider adopting a male child after another failed trial. Give it one more trial.

Besides how come u are less concerned about not having a male child, are u a witch or sth

If u won't cooperate to solve the problem why not leave his house with your girls so he can marry another woman for that purpose

We are Africans, truth be told, most men will never be happy without a male child - ME INCLUSIVE! Do you notice that most who are advising you to divorce are fellow women. As a man this is my candid advice, do sex selection. You n your husband made mistakes not starting early to select your babies gender.

So take the family planning off, consult a trusted doctor to guide you. Select a male gender n boom give your family happiness. Its a good thing that both of you seem well to do financially.

I got married last year at 29, with is 25. Told with we will try for a boy, she said no, she wants a gal. I SAT HER DOWN N EXPLAIN O. I WANT AN HEIR, 2 SELF, THE EARLIER WE HAVE THEM THE BETTER FOR US O. Tried it n it worked. It can work for you too.

danny34:
We are Africans, truth be told, most men will never be happy without a male child - ME INCLUSIVE! Do you notice that most who are advising you to divorce are fellow women. As a man this is my candid advice, do sex selection. You n your husband made mistakes not starting early to select your babies gender.

So take the family planning off, consult a trusted doctor to guide you. Select a male gender n boom give your family happiness. Its a good thing that both of you seem well to do financially.

I got married last year at 29, with is 25. Told with we will try for a boy, she said no, she wants a gal. I SAT HER DOWN N EXPLAIN O. I WANT AN HEIR, 2 SELF, THE EARLIER WE HAVE THEM THE BETTER FOR US O. Tried it n it worked. It can work for you too.

Like you said above, Sex selection or Gender selection is an option for cases like this in this 21st century. Can you give more details about what it entails for others that may be interested, since you have gone through the process? I think it will be helpful information....just saying

Look at the comments on this thread.
Tomorrow someone will ask, "why the need for feminism?"

Chiamaka789022:

Yes am a self employed and financially secure. Thanks

I'm glad to see this. This means there is nothing holding you back. Divorce him and move on. He is a terrible father and a demonic husband.
Live your best life dear. We only have one life and it's damn short.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Life is so simple, y complicate things? Get pregnant and scan for the sex, if female u abort. But then take the issue to your God in prayers, he will definitely give him a son to carry on his name.

you can't find out the sex of the child till 2nd trimester, by then it is too late to abort

danny34:
We are Africans, truth be told, most men will never be happy without a male child - ME INCLUSIVE! Do you notice that most who are advising you to divorce are fellow women. As a man this is my candid advice, do sex selection. You n your husband made mistakes not starting early to select your babies gender.

So take the family planning off, consult a trusted doctor to guide you. Select a male gender n boom give your family happiness. Its a good thing that both of you seem well to do financially.

I got married last year at 29, with is 25. Told with we will try for a boy, she said no, she wants a gal. I SAT HER DOWN N EXPLAIN O. I WANT AN HEIR, 2 SELF, THE EARLIER WE HAVE THEM THE BETTER FOR US O. Tried it n it worked. It can work for you too.

Thank you I'm interested can you please give more info

Daeylar:
Look at the comments on this thread.
Tomorrow someone will ask, "why the need for feminism?"


I'm glad to see this. This means there is nothing holding you back. Divorce him and move on. He is a terrible father and a demonic husband.
Live your best life dear. We only have one life and it's damn short.

Thank my dear , I know my heart says the same. But I feel for the kids they love their dad and like seing him around the house.

Chiamaka789022:
Gd day everybody i need urgent advice sumting Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and Unclad photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?

That Facebook insert is a bit far-fetched and almost undid the entire story for me.
However since every other part of your story seems believable, I will offer you my two cents:

1. He has told you to pack up and leave, you could very well do that and be done with him like some of your sympathizers have advised.

2. That you're asking if you should go ahead and please him, means the part of your brain that encourages rational/logical thought is still working perfectly.

Summarily, I can only say this & ask you this question:

You are in Nigeria, a country in Africa. You married one of those Nigerian men who still place value on having a son, and it isn't just him, there are entire towns & communities in this decade where sons are considered very important...so believe me, you will not be getting a lot of support in the real world.

Knowing all this, will your broken marriage be worth it in the end over a "simple" issue of getting/not getting pregnant for a fifth time?

Nobody here should make that decision for you...and yes, it is a simple issue, not a life & death situation.
But again, your decision only.

Chiamaka789022:
Gd day everybody i need urgent advice sumting Da has been bothering me 4 sometime now , i dnt ave any1 else 2 talk abt dis , Dis de reason i dcd 2 bring it on here . Please mi brothers and sisters advice me on wat 2 do

I ben married for 16 years now , we are blessed wiv 4 daughters 15,14,11 n 8, b4 marriage we has dcd 2 have 4 children only n we promised each oda incase all the children r same gender we will stick 2 4 children rule , so after i had my last gal i did family plaming 4 10yrs so the issue we are having is 2 years ago mi hubby ask me 2 remove the family planning so i culd get pregnant 4 a son then afta delivery do family again, which i told him i cant cuz there is no guarantie dis bby will be a boy , i asked him wat if its anoda gal what we going 2 do , he told me da we will try again until we have a son , so i rejected his proposal so since then there is no peace in mi huse , he has been keeping malice , coming home very late at nite , reject my foods , been cheating wiv so many diff women, i saw texts and Unclad photo of women on his fone . He dsnt make love 2 me , he has deleted all mi pictures includ our wedding ones on all his social media. He has been ignoring me anytime i will try 2 talk 2 him, what really broke mi heart is this last time he posted our girls pics on his fcbk so some of his fcbk frnds asked him what about their mother ( me) , mi husband reply long story mi bro with a sad emotis , so the guy reply bk am sorry 4 ur loss bro may she rest in peace then hubby reply bk thanks bro, i strted crying as soon i saw de msg , i confroted him afta he told me da im dead 2 him da he dsnt have any luv 4 me , i can packed up and leave . So that is what im gng thru in my huse afta refusing 2 have anoda baby please am i wrong wiv my decisions ? Should i go ahead and pleased him? What if is another gal? Pls what should i do?

@OP:

Since you have not left him with all the adultery, I am figuring that you are going nowhere.

Let him get him heir outside and get vibrators to ease your sexual tension (if any).

Just know that when the boy comes, all the girls are inconsequential to him so you have to start building a future of them.

If you earn well, start opening trusts for them and other things they can inherit.

Also be prepared for him to marry the mother of his son or kick you out all together.

And also be watchful. He might bring his dream to be a widower a reality.

Hmmm

So if you get pregnant again and its a girl you ll continue trying according to him. What if you dont have a male child after 10 girls what will happen?

Besides dont think its the male child issue thats making him cheat and do all sorts, those traits have always been there it just had the right excuse to be expressed.

I cringe at some of the advice I'm reading here..
A man that publicly agreed you are dead!

Cococandy why are wasting your time, she clearly ignored your advice.

Op pray for your husband, fast too and don't forget to remove the family planning. Keep trying, if it's a girl abort it and try again, i guess this's exactly what you want to hear.

ThothHermes:
I for say. I knew the story was familiar. I had to check the date over and over to be sure it was not an old thread.

That's how they do copy and paste Dey go

yen yen yen. Do you have an idea how old a foetus is before u can check the sex? Or do you actually know what its like to be preggy for the first trimester? I doubt u do cos if u did, u won't be asking a female like u to be getting pregnant and discarding so easily.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Life is so simple, y complicate things? Get pregnant and scan for the sex, if female u abort. But then take the issue to your God in prayers, he will definitely give him a son to carry on his name.

Omo I dey vex o. Imagine if Serena and Venus were aborted? Now, who's ever heard of their male siblings, if they have any. Nonsense and ingredients

Chommieblaq:
I cringe at some of the advice I'm reading here..
. Keep trying, if it's a girl abort it and try again, i guess this's exactly what you want to hear.

Yea exactly

Chommieblaq:
I cringe at some of the advice I'm reading here..
A man that publicly agreed you are dead!

Cococandy why are wasting your time, she clearly ignore your advice.

Op pray for your husband, fast too and don't forget to remove the family planning. Keep trying, if it's a girl abort it and try again, i guess this's exactly what you want to hear.

Wow, if Thai story is true, then wow.
Just wow, I don't even know what to say.

Many heartless animals in the form of men moving about in this country.
Personally sha, knowing how much I love revenge I will document and save evidence of how the man was trying to destroy the marriage and his daughters happiness because of male child. I will make sure I let his daughters know that he placed less value on them for being female and I will really turn them against him and make them hate him.
Me I no be prayer and forgiveness type at all.
Tufiakwa.

cococandy:
As expected. You can’t say yes or no because your hypocrisy will be revealed.

One only enjoys the partnership of a partner who is in it with them.

Emotional support of someone who wants you dead?
And I’m the one who’s not thinking. What kind of emotional support do you think he will provide to her?

Also you assume that she wants to have sex with someone who’s a public property. You show a clear lack of reasoning. As if using protection with him will erase how she feels about his philandering. Would you want to sleep with your wife is she’s sleeping with different men because you have protection?

Take your condescending “dear coco” and tell it to yourself . My username is cococandy.

If she allows him have his way outside, he will likely stop 'hating'. She doesn't want another child and her partner desperately wants one, what is wrong in that? Let him go outside and get it, after all the burden of care will be on him. This craze of women wanting to keep the man to themselves is why many women discover their husband have kids outside wedlock when he dies. The man wants a kid with his wife and the wife says no, allow him go out then.
A woman who has a philandering husband still needs sexual satisfaction and it's only wise to use protection. or are u also suggesting she goes outside to get satisfied? Dear coco, not all women have whoring tendencies, irrespective of their partners behavior. Not all woman are like u liberals who believe whoring is a modern day virtue.

Gloriagee:
yen yen yen. Do you have an idea how old a foetus is before u can check the sex? Or do you actually know what its like to be preggy for the first trimester? I doubt u do cos if u did, u won't be asking a female like u to be getting pregnant and discarding so easily.

Why doubt? I'm sure it won't come to that though.

Amaka, your husband is using reversed psychology on you to cover for his f..ucking around. A new wife is coming soon.
Having the fifth child in this current world is not encouraged. If the family planning has been good for you with not much side effects, don't take it out. Let him continue farming for a boy child elsewhere. If he is giving you unbearable pain and stress, then it is time to find your way in life.
Even if he is rich enough for one more child, remember nothing is constant in life. Four children are enough!

Yes whoring is only a virtue when it’s the man doing it. . This line only works on females that people like you have brainwashed. If you’re not going to treat your woman like you want her to treat you, then STFU.

Shameless hypocrite.

I’m sure she can get sexual satisfaction from wherever she wants if it comes to that. His peniis is not the only one in the market. YES SHE CAN GO OUTSIDE . There’s nothing wrong with that in your own words.

What’s wrong with going outside for something you want if your partner won’t give it to you? Nothing.
He can go outside for his extra kid if he wants.
She can go outside for whatever else she wants if he won’t give it to her. Sounds fair to me.

Gaggi:


If she allows him have his way outside, he will likely stop 'hating'. She doesn't want another child and her partner desperately wants one, what is wrong in that? Let him go outside and get it, after all the burden of care will be on him. This craze of women wanting to keep the man to themselves is why many women discover their husband have kids outside wedlock when he dies. The man wants a kid with his wife and the wife says no, allow him go out then.
A woman who has a philandering husband still needs sexual satisfaction and it's only wise to use protection. or are u also suggesting she goes outside to get satisfied? Dear coco, not all women have whoring tendencies, irrespective of their partners behavior. Not all woman are like u liberals who believe whoring is a modern day virtue.