₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
So people can just decide to physically abuse others because they are going through stuff?

bossinblack:
How many children do you people have?

Prec1ous:
I am so sorry about what you are going through, especially the violence. Which is enough for you to leave but you have decided otherwise.

Since, you want to get his love back back, then the problem is about what you have refused see. You are still acting on the surface. Behave live a therapist.

But...

Your husband is going through something which you are unaware of. Something is bugging him and being egoistic, he doesn't want to talk but wants you to know and empathize. Weird right?

The reason why he is venting on you is because it is just you he has. But because he is yet to master his problem, this is the reason for his haphazard behavior.

When last did you sit him down and ask about his finance, career, goals, aspirations?

Your husband needs you to talk to him and all those talks about respect from him is just to summarize his defensiveness.

Your husband is going through something, reach into his heart. He loves you you and that other wife talk is a big bluff. He only wants you to step up. Reach out to him.

liberalchick:
I hear you, so because he is going through something, she should get hit enough to cause a miscarriage. What kind of marriage is that? Is that not the point of marriage, together as one. If you so much hate being vulnerable sharing your problems with your spouse enough to physically abuse them then you shouldn’t be in the union.

Habby121:
I'm pregnant now but it's still very young..i'm 9 weeks gone, he Hurt me anytime I try to apologize to him, he hits and pushes me but I now try to avoid him because I don't want another miscarriage ..he even hit me yesterday because I tried waking him up, he said I shouted at him, and I'm disrespectful, he even went to bed without talking to me.

ImaIma1:
No man has the right to treat his wife that way regardless of what he is going through. So it's ok to beat and mistreat his wife; especially a pregnant one because he is going through something?

Please don't promote nonsense. That is foolishness and selfishness. A man that acts that way is irresponsible and thoughtless and should not be indulged. Reach into his heart indeed! If he cannot reach into his heart himself and give himself sense, he should go back and stay with his mother because he's not worthy to be called a man.

Habby121:
I'm pregnant now but it's still very young..i'm 9 weeks gone, he Hurt me anytime I try to apologize to him, he hits and pushes me but I now try to avoid him because I don't want another miscarriage ..he even hit me yesterday because I tried waking him up, he said I shouted at him, and I'm disrespectful, he even went to bed without talking to me.

Habby121:
I have tried talking to him but he always Say's I'm talking rubbish and if i don't have anything to say I should look for ways to make my marriage work and stop nagging

Habby121:
This started two months ago he wasn't like this

Eddygourdo:
madam why can't you respect yourself and stop rocking the boat in your marriage. Stop that play that annoys and irks him, stop those behaviors that don't foster peace in your home. Are you that immature to play with your marriage? What is wrong with some of us and victim mentality.
Comparing reactions to perceived hurt like little kids.

You both might be married, but you are still two different people who need understanding to cope and live. Understand now that you should behave in ways that foster peace and accord in your home and not otherwise under any guise of "play" or "romance"

Once you get mature and start behaving mature like someone who knows this marriage has to work, you will see things improve in your home and maybe then your immature husband will also take cue and behave himself.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Another miscarriage?? See you have to take your life and happiness into your own hands. Stop apologizing, simply lock up. The man is probably frustrated, so I'll advise you simply quit the jokes and plays that irritates him.. For ur baby's sake. Just know a baby will tie you down there but perhaps the baby will change him

bukatyne:
Your husband hurts you anytime you try to apologize to him.

Apologize for what exactly?



This is interesting especially the bolded



So your husband of 6yrs suddenly thinks you are not making your marriage work anymore.

Madam, tell us the full story if you genuinely want an holistic advice.

Habby121:
I'm pregnant now but it's still very young..i'm 9 weeks gone, he Hurt me anytime I try to apologize to him, he hits and pushes me but I now try to avoid him because I don't want another miscarriage ..he even hit me yesterday because I tried waking him up, he said I shouted at him, and I'm disrespectful, he even went to bed without talking to me.

Habby121:
No I'm not...I even try to help out at home with my own little money.. I'm the only daughter of my parents and I have 6 brothers so they opened a business for me after I got married, he is unemployed but he trys to hustle like every other man

Prec1ous:
Is it that you people don't read completely or your oestrogen rush makes you forget details and pick the one that suits you?

I started my post by condemning violence but my advise is based on one premise:

THIS WOMAN SAYS SHE WANTS TO SAVE HER MARRIAGE. IF SHE WANTS TO LEAVE DUE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, WE ARE NOT THE ONES TO TELL HER TO.

She knows what she want and it is to get her husband to his best behavior and that is what my comment is about.

If someone wants to kill you, will you wait for faceless people online to tell you to run?

Prec1ous:
I am so sorry about what you are going through, especially the violence. Which is enough for you to leave but you have decided otherwise.

Since, you want to get his love back back, then the problem is about what you have refused see. You are still acting on the surface. Behave live a therapist.

But...

Your husband is going through something which you are unaware of. Something is bugging him and being egoistic, he doesn't want to talk but wants you to know and empathize. Weird right?

The reason why he is venting on you is because it is just you he has. But because he is yet to master his problem, this is the reason for his haphazard behavior.

When last did you sit him down and ask about his finance, career, goals, aspirations?

Your husband needs you to talk to him and all those talks about respect from him is just to summarize his defensiveness.

Your husband is going through something, reach into his heart. He loves you you and that other wife talk is a big bluff. He only wants you to step up. Reach out to him.

Habby121:
I feel so frustrated.. I have been trying to write about how I feel, I feel like giving up and leave this world of pain and hate.. He complains about everything, he says I'm disrespectful simply because I like to play with him, he insults me and when he apologizes I forgive him, but any slight mistake from me always end up in a very bad experience, he hit and pushes me anytime I try to apologize to him, he threatens to leave me anytime I offend him... He offends me often but I try to overlook it.. But when I offend him he becomes so aggressive that when I try to apologize to him he always hurt me..I feel like our relationship is going south because I feel emotionally depressed with the way he treats me, I have been through a lot of things for him..I even try to please him even though I'm displeased..I don't know why I'm always the bad person, people I love and care for always end up hurting me no matter how hard I try to please them.. I feel I don't matter and I'm not capable of been loved..he says I love to quarell but he doesn't know what I pass through everyday with the way he treats me, he feels I disrespects him, but I swear I don't disrespect or mean to disrespect him..he thinks he is perfect and he doesn't hurt me, I'm always the person offending him..my heart is so heavy I don't know what else to say.. I pray to be a better person and I also pray for him no matter what he does to me..His pride and ego makes him do inhumane things to me..I need matured advice please

Habby121:
I feel so frustrated.. I have been trying to write about how I feel, I feel like giving up and leave this world of pain and hate.. He complains about everything, he says I'm disrespectful simply because I like to play with him, he insults me and when he apologizes I forgive him, but any slight mistake from me always end up in a very bad experience, he hit and pushes me anytime I try to apologize to him, he threatens to leave me anytime I offend him... He offends me often but I try to overlook it.. But when I offend him he becomes so aggressive that when I try to apologize to him he always hurt me..I feel like our relationship is going south because I feel emotionally depressed with the way he treats me, I have been through a lot of things for him..I even try to please him even though I'm displeased..I don't know why I'm always the bad person, people I love and care for always end up hurting me no matter how hard I try to please them.. I feel I don't matter and I'm not capable of been loved..he says I love to quarell but he doesn't know what I pass through everyday with the way he treats me, he feels I disrespects him, but I swear I don't disrespect or mean to disrespect him..he thinks he is perfect and he doesn't hurt me, I'm always the person offending him..my heart is so heavy I don't know what else to say.. I pray to be a better person and I also pray for him no matter what he does to me..His pride and ego makes him do inhumane things to me..I need matured advice please

Mindfulness:
Learn to please yourself and not others. People don't respect people pleasers because people pleasers don't respect themselves.

CHoccolaTE:
That's one thing Nigerian women need to learn, instead of swallowing all sorts of nonsense in the name of submission.

Submission even to a useless man that contributes nothing to the home.

uboma:
Wow!

The op has deactivated her handle.

CHoccolaTE:
Too bad,



@Op accept my sympathies, may God restore peace and love in your marriage amen.

Yustash001:
this one that you write as if have no fault at all...
if your husband is chanced to write about you too..he'll list your faults also and that's why sometimes it's add to contribute to family issues like this

even yoruba adage says..."agba ejo enikan da agba oshikani"

Ishilove:
And does that justify you hitting a pregnant woman?

Mindfulness:
Learn to please yourself and not others. People don't respect people pleasers because people pleasers don't respect themselves.