₦airaland Forum

I personally don't like plenty children
Shey I wan sell Dem ni

Amanee:
People like you and your stewpid questions will be nowhere to be found first


Didirin

you are frustrated and I understand why, don't ever quote me again you foool.

Your choice to make. No one can advice on this.

But Op, what if you now have four kids but they are either four girls or four boys, what will you do?


Or what if you have 3boys and a girl, because you are not just looking for 4 kids but 2boys and 2girls.

Wizpa:
Services will be employed. I feel the house will be boring with just 2 kids

If you are going to employ nannies, have you told her?

chii8:
But Op, what if you now have four kids but they are either four girls or four boys, what will you do?


Or what if you have 3boys and a girl, because you are not just looking for 4 kids but 2boys and 2girls.

OP has the magic combo

bukatyne:
If you are going to employ nannies, have you told her?

Yes I have

You want four,your fiancee want two isn't it? remember how you guys started ,and am sure you didn't go into relationship with her because of procreation only.companionship,love and alot of alot of things was involved I believe? .my candid advice to you is this .....you guys should stick to three.....not 2 nor 4 but three.....I hope you understand what I mean ?... remember only God makes babies.y you guys are just planning ....so strike a deal...3 nothing more ,nothing less ....wish you the best.

You still live in the stone age. Imagine number 8. Do u even know the name. Of ur great grand dad Dangote has 2 daughters he is ok with it.. So u want to have 4 kids. What if you die nko. U go leave the madam with 4 kids to train. That babe should dump ur sorry ass.

Two is more than reasonable.

2 kids perfect for me.

You can give birth to the last two after she’s done having the first two

It's easier for you to say 4 kids. The woman will be the one go through pregnancy and child birth. Before I got married, my husband said he wanted four kids, I said I want two. As we don born one, na him dey tell me sey honey two is okay. I was like no o two is not okay we must born four lol

@OP

I still don't understand why personal topics like this will get a thread. So, are you telling me whatever opinion holds ground here will determine whether you should go along with your fiancee or leave her? And based on your comments so far, it's like you're not totally open to different opinions. So, why open a thread?

By the way, you sound somehow selfish and short-sighted from your opening post. Like seriously in this present world, who thinks the number of children will help your name "last longer"?? Jesus. Or how old are you? "Dining table will be complete", are you serious? The woman that will do the 9-month carrying of the baby is saying something and you can't ask if she has some maybe underlying fears concerning childbirth or family health issues or smth? Have you even prayed about it? What is God saying?

I just can't....

You mean your wife will pass through the labour room four good times? Do you know what pregnancy entails? Pls have mercy on the poor lady.

Lool at SUV will be complete


You know what sometimes life doesn't go the way one plans it.

The op isn't looking for just four kids but they must be 2boys and 2girls...

Not praying so ooo !!
By the time she gave birth to her 1st two children which will be girls,she will become unsecured & desperately looking for a male child for the man.
Then the game done change,hoping to have a male child has 3rd.
Or in the quest to get a male child, she now has 3 female child infront, na she go cum dey take in dey find male child .
May God bless us with our 1st two children to be a boy & a girl ,then your mind go dey at rest, as at that time ,na d couple go come decide if to get more children or not .

bigiyaro:
OP, stand you ground! from my experience, I've decided on four or more kids long ago, my reasons are
1.my mom had an only sister and she's very unhappy about it.
2.I have 5 sisters and 2 brothers, the last born (a boy is in the university now, the rest are all married and working) I have two kids and they are spoiled on choices of where to spend weekends and holidays, so are all my nephews and nieces.
3. I have plenty backups (especially in this tribalistic and man know man country) your blood family is the most loyal you can get.
4. before anyone messes with your family especially when you are retired and old, the size of your family comes into consideration ( in my villa, no body dare encroach, cos my dad, got brothers in the army, police, sisters with fairly powerful and influential Hubbys with grown up and working children, infact fight one member of my dad's family, you will be knocked right left and center)
so op these are my reasons.

You sound like you are approaching 50. The age range that believes in igwebuike and going for holidays in a relatives house.

Filmewell:
You sound like you are approaching 50. The age range that believes in igwebuike and going for holidays in a relatives house.

you sound like you are well past 60 and full of regrets.

OP bringing up children is a very serious business, infact a 20unit course. This is not the time of our fathers/mothers. Times have changed. It's demanding in every aspect including "pocketwise" Even Dangote and Bill Gates no get four children.

However, you and your fiancee can come to a compromise.

bigiyaro:
you sound like you are well past 60 and full of regrets.

Nah... You are a child. How come your ideas are obsolete

Wizpa:
Hello nairalanders
My fiancee insists on bearing two kids because of
1. less stress raising the kids
2. being able to manage them during her work time

I insist on bearing 4 kids because
1. There is strength in numbers (Well secured family
2. Dining table will be complete
3. Family SUV will be complete
4. Children are gift from God
5. Satisfactory distribution of wealth
6. a boy and a girl (it's just better and wiser to have double of anything)
7. House will be very lively
8. I want my name to last for as long as it can
9. 4 kids will secure our nuclear family, it's heritage and legacy
10. Military and Business, Health and Leric


We had this argument the last time we spoke and her last statement was "I hope this doesn't hold us down soonest because its as though we can never reach an agreement in this aspect. And of course might affect this relationship".

I love her very much and I believe she does too, what should I do.

I will advise you go ahead and get married but as you start having kids, involve her in financial matters and make sure you give her a certain percentage to contribute

As the family grows her percentage grows

If she can contribute and be steady about the contribution four children are not too much

Besides child birth Labour are one of the things that limits women in child bearing

Just let her be contributing actively, she may even end up debating the two because she is now involved

Erediauwa:
Even though your Creator has blessed you with the resources to take care of any child you plan to bring into this world, it doesn't give you the entitlement to start producing children like Rabbits...


Two is more than enough and I support that.... Don't always think with your penis that there's strength in numbers.


If you don't have anything to do with your sperm, donate it to any health centre.

Bob, you make sense. I wonder what the problem is with people around here who love having many children. Sadly, most of these people are struggling to make ends meet.

Hmmmmm
Nobody knows tomorrow.
Some couples started as you, wanted 6 children and struggled for several years to finally get only one.
Some got their hearts desires, with many children but lost all.
Meanwhile, some wanted only 2 child and got triplets in their 2nd pregnancy.
There isn't a manual for some of these things.

ibkayee:
I understand your joy in having kids but most of your reasons sound kind of 'shallow' compared to hers. Shallow isn't necessarily bad per se in this case because I find your reasons very cute...just not as...'vital'? Especially if it's something that could affect a relationship that was quality enough to become an engagement.

When you think about your reasons like the 'SUV being complete' for example, is it imporant enough to let a valuable enough relationship go. It would be different if she didn't want kids at all

Good observation. He needs to separate reality and fantasy....

Op is a small boy. Look at the list of foolish reasons he has put forward. When I was younger, I wanted six. In the end I was perfectly happy with two, though the missus pushed for a third.

When you see stupid reasons like family suv will be complete. I have gone through the ops post history, and there is nothing to show he is a strong earner. This children are a gift from God is the same attitude of almajiris.

This is not our parents time when you could get your wife pregnant and there were many options of housemaid, relative etc, to take care of the baby.

Don't worry, by the time you go through two rounds of diapers, baby food, reduced sex, sleepless nights, destruction around the house, constant paranoia, prohibitive costs of day care, and an introduction to private school fees, we will see if you will go beyond two.

Nonsense

Filmewell:
Nah... You are a child. How come your ideas are obsolete

How much for warm kiss, hug , pressing, extra kiss,romance n mating with u. I will pay u 1k cash . How much please?

We have to understand op's perspective, crucial things like this must be discussed ahead to avoid issues in marriage. Anybody is allowed to have as much as possible so far they can cater for them. She wants two n you want 4, to avoid one side taking the lead, maybe you guys should go with this calculation(2+4=6/2=3). You don't need to give people reasons why you want to have many kids (it is a personal choice.... Some of us just want to roll with our own people instead of strangers)

op do you really love this lady or you just want to marry her for procreation purpose,bc with the reasons you have outlined,she is not in your plan esp healthwise and you might possibly break up with her if she has any delay in conception,since youare already considering breaking up with her jst bc she did not agree with your choice. Most importantly, if she eventually gives in to your demand for the sake of peace, hope you will not start complaining that she has little or no tym for you,that she is always busy with the kids and then you will come and open another thread 'lonely married man'. Anyways my advise to you is this...marriage is more than child bearing,what matters is does this woman have the qualities you need in your woman, will she make you a happy man? will she be able to help you give your children a good upbringing,remember what matters is quality and not quantity,one useful son or daughter is better than ten useless sons.your priority now should be how to build a home where you can come back to at the end of your day's activity and have peace and rest and not ahome with four children which you ll leave to hang out with friends bc you want to stay away from trouble...you are of age advice yourself better

Hmmmm, urs is d opposite of mine. My fiancee wants 4 while I want 2 cause of the economy of this country and because what me and my mother going through in taken care of my siblings after the death of our dad 15 years ago.
Las Las, we settle at 3, U can do the same on the ground of compromise or meeting at the middle.
Good luck bro.