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Emotional Dilemma!!! - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyEmotional Dilemma!!! (1091 Views)

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Emotional Dilemma!!! by emotionada(op): 7:50pm On May 02, 2020
I am a man of 37 years old currently earning #30 000 monthly. I am too conservative and much of an introvert. I stay indoors too much which started during childhood as my siblings usually leave me at home and go out and it soon became part of me.

I have an issue. I know the clock is ticking but I can't help it. I often come across ladies I feel something for and wish to approach but I am a private person and care too much what people will say about me coupled with my low finances, I let them go despite some of them looking prospective.

What should I do?
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by thorpido(m): 7:53pm On May 02, 2020
Face your fear.
You're 37yrs old,women should not intimidate you
Forget about the N30,000 you earn.If you see a girl you like,become acquainted with her.You don't have to tell her you want to marry her on a first date.Just become friends first.
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by padi94(m): 7:53pm On May 02, 2020
You have not contracted STI neither do you have covid 19. My brother it is not a problem. Thank God you are earning
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Tozic: 7:53pm On May 02, 2020
relate more with people, especially extroverted ones. ... This thing called introvert could destruct ur opportunities in life.
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by seunlayi(m): 8:24pm On May 02, 2020
Tozic:
relate more with people, especially extroverted ones. ... This thing called introvert could destruct ur opportunities in life.
Fact, it is limitating
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Nobody: 8:34pm On May 02, 2020
emotionada:
I am a man of 37 years old currently earning #30 000 monthly. I am too conservative and much of an introvert. I stay indoors too much which started during childhood as my siblings usually leave me at home and go out and it soon became part of me.

I have an issue. I know the clock is ticking but I can't help it. I often come across ladies I feel something for and wish to approach but I am a private person and care too much what people will say about me coupled with my low finances, I let them go despite some of them looking prospective.

What should I do?
Haba Oga,brace up and talk to a lady, you may end up been a good man you know...
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Liliantalks: 8:51pm On May 02, 2020
emotionada:
I am a man of 37 years old currently earning #30 000 monthly. I am too conservative and much of an introvert. I stay indoors too much which started during childhood as my siblings usually leave me at home and go out and it soon became part of me.

I have an issue. I know the clock is ticking but I can't help it. I often come across ladies I feel something for and wish to approach but I am a private person and care too much what people will say about me coupled with my low finances, I let them go despite some of them looking prospective.

What should I do?
stop caring what people say about u , ur finances r okay , there is room for improvement, just look for a girl that u can maintain n understands you . Atleast be ready to sacrifice 5k for ur salary monthly.
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Tozic: 8:55pm On May 02, 2020
Liliantalks:
stop caring what people say about u , ur finances r okay , there is room for improvement, just look for a girl that u can maintain n understands you . Atleast be ready to sacrifice 5k for ur salary monthly.
it is a pity so many
people just dabble into issues they do not
understand.
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Kemimarch16(f): 8:58pm On May 02, 2020
I thought am the only one ntrovert is affecting,I don't just know how to go about it again.
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by NextD18: 9:03pm On May 02, 2020
You earn 30k monthly at 37?

Brosky! This should call for more concern, not this GF rubbish you are yapping about.
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Liliantalks: 9:49pm On May 02, 2020
NextD18:
You earn 30k monthly at 37?

Brosky! This should call for more concern, not this GF rubbish you are yapping about.
everybody won’t be rich
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Nobody: 6:48am On May 03, 2020
Work more on building yourself and getting a better job or business before thinking of having a girl or even settling down. If you start dating a girl at this level, chances are that she might get pregnant ( as it's the world standard) and then you'll start considering marriage. At this level? With 30k as incomehuh Naaa...that is not a good way to start a family otherwise you'll end up depressed even if your woman is working.

Pray that God blesses you with a better job. .
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Liliantalks: 6:56am On May 03, 2020
Eulalia:
Work more on building yourself and getting a better job or business before thinking of having a girl or even settling down. If you start dating a girl at this level, chances are that she might get pregnant ( as it's the world standard) and then you'll start considering marriage. At this level? With 30k as incomehuh Naaa...that is not a good way to start a family otherwise you'll end up depressed even if your woman is working.

Pray that God blesses you with a better job. .
hes 37 n needs to start hving kids . He’s salary won’t skyrocket. If he will make it, he would while married
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Bola146(f): 7:37am On May 03, 2020
At least it's better than none! Be hardworking and prayerful.. It shall be well with you, just believe
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by tensazangetsu20(m): 7:43am On May 03, 2020
What the hell is wrong with Nigerians? Nobody is advising him to fix his financial life huh
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by zed7: 7:49am On May 03, 2020
Just know that if you marry with your 30k income, your family will suffer, you will start getting cranky when you can't afford basic needs. Your wife may even bring your case to nairaland and people will mock you.

What you need now is learn to build your confidence and find a way to increase your income. Nobody encouraging you to marry will drop a dime for you when thing get rough.
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Richy4(m): 7:55am On May 03, 2020
Talk in front of the mirror.... Tell address your self there and tell yourself that it is time to come out of my comfort zone.

Does things you don't like doing, it's time to start doing it... I know one of them is not attending weddings.. 2 if u were a Christian after the church u immediately disappear.no pleasantries to anyone what soever.. so get involved join a group there..

As for the correlation between a prospective spouse and money matters, water finds it'a level sorry to say that. You can earn little and start looking for a high maintenance lady. Most times it ends with heartache. U will be alright. But remember to bring the wedding invite here when the time comes
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Nobody: 7:56am On May 03, 2020
Kemimarch16:
I thought am the only one ntrovert is affecting,I don't just know how to go about it again.
let me help u baby
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Nobody:
You're 37. By your age your personality is already set in stone; you can't change it but can manage it. Stop caring what people think and start living your life. Most importantly, work on improving your finances.
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by emmaodet: 8:03pm On May 03, 2020
emotionada:
I am a man of 37 years old currently earning #30 000 monthly. I am too conservative and much of an introvert. I stay indoors too much which started during childhood as my siblings usually leave me at home and go out and it soon became part of me.

I have an issue. I know the clock is ticking but I can't help it. I often come across ladies I feel something for and wish to approach but I am a private person and care too much what people will say about me coupled with my low finances, I let them go despite some of them looking prospective.

What should I do?
Bro, in any level you see yourself, there are always ladies to marry within that societal class though they may not be your taste.
I have a mechanic and from our interview, he earns between 30-45k per month yet has a wife and 3 kids.
I'm not saying you should do that but if road side mechanics, vulcanizers, local/substitence farmers, okada riders can get married, then you can. Of course it may not be your taste but he who is down needs fear no fall. You are not in a position to choose.
From your salary, try and be saving 10k per month into a cooperative in your area, that is 120k a year which will qualify you to get a loan of 240k.
You can buy a bike to be using after closing to generate more income while you can marry. You can going into leasing of 1 acre for 5k per year to farm cucumber which won't cost you up to 50k to do as a side income or snails or used papers and nylon collectors at weekend to supply recycling companies etc
At any salary level, you can marry though maybe tomatoes sellers, akara/potatoes road side fryer ladies, jobless illiterates etc
Please stay away from tertiary institutions ladies, them no go see your side oooo
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by emmaodet: 8:06pm On May 03, 2020
tensazangetsu20:
What the hell is wrong with Nigerians? Nobody is advising him to fix his financial life huh
Bro, for how long will you keep fixing bro?
Some thing he has been fixing up till 37years? If it is that easy, he would have been free by now or financially better.
E no easy ooi bro. That shouldn't stop him from dating
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by frozen70(f): 8:17pm On May 03, 2020
emotionada:
I am a man of 37 years old currently earning #30 000 monthly. I am too conservative and much of an introvert. I stay indoors too much which started during childhood as my siblings usually leave me at home and go out and it soon became part of me.

I have an issue. I know the clock is ticking but I can't help it. I often come across ladies I feel something for and wish to approach but I am a private person and care too much what people will say about me coupled with my low finances, I let them go despite some of them looking prospective.

What should I do?
Shake those silly thoughts of your mind and come out of your low self Esteem life and move on

Make friends and associate with people

Be a man and learn how to approach a woman.

I f you don't learn how to relate with women, you can't handle marriage
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Nobody: 8:24pm On May 03, 2020
Are u sure it's not the low finance that's making u lacklustre?


Try and expand your source of income if u can. So that your wife will not hear the blunt of your misplaced anger in the future.
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Raalsalghul: 8:30pm On May 03, 2020
emotionada:
I am a man of 37 years old currently earning #30 000 monthly. I am too conservative and much of an introvert. I stay indoors too much which started during childhood as my siblings usually leave me at home and go out and it soon became part of me.

I have an issue. I know the clock is ticking but I can't help it. I often come across ladies I feel something for and wish to approach but I am a private person and care too much what people will say about me coupled with my low finances, I let them go despite some of them looking prospective.

What should I do?
You can consider not getting married.
Re: Emotional Dilemma!!! by Nobody: 10:19pm On May 06, 2020
seunlayi:
Fact, it is limitating
Being an introvert doesn't limit one. I'm an introvert, and I have no limitations. I'm currently in a good spot...
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