Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,162,130 members, 7,849,543 topics. Date: Monday, 03 June 2024 at 11:54 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Strong Opinionated Woman (1315 Views)
I'm Depressed, Thoughts Of Suicide Is Getting Strong.pls.advise. / So many have been strong for too long (Picture) / Lady Praises All Nigerian Men For Staying Strong Despite Challenges (2) (3) (4)
Strong Opinionated Woman by riches4me(m): 1:35am On May 13, 2020 |
Pls nairalanders, I just want a general opinion on the best ways to treat a wife that has strong opinions about almost everything around the house. from the way kids should be trained to the cleaniness around the house when hers is to the level of OCD. |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by KanwuliaExtra: 1:45am On May 13, 2020 |
Present! You just have to manage us like that and keep to your own side of the house and marriage because you can NEVER WIN under such circumstances. My husband just keeps away jejely to avoid wahala. Mine is soooooo bad, I am known for that at work o. The jokes are endless. I can’t stand clutter. When I go on break for just 30 minutes at work, my co-workers will gang up and SCATTER EVERYTHING on my desk and work area just to capture my reactions on video and have a goooooood laugh at my expense. One respiratory therapist calls me “MRS. CLEAN”! My husband has even threatened to file a complaint with the police department FOR TRESPASSING, if I DARE enter his room to re-arrange his stuff ONE MORE TIME. Shuooooo? For my own house agaaaaaain? I should sit and watch the whole house run down kwa nu? Lai-lai! Na so termite nearly destroy our house, he did not even have a clue since he has left the house-cleaning to me. I was re-arranging the house early this year and found termites’ hot spots around the house. Cost me $1000 on the spot to start ONGOING treatment. Mtchewww! My mom calls me “madam arrangee”! EVERY 3 MONTHS, I RE-ARRANGE THE WHOLE HOUSE! Oga ho just dey look, waka pass! As for the kids, he spoils them, I discipline them. Different styles, no wahala there! I banished them ALL from my section of the house o. Dem get their own bathroom, living room and kitchen. They are NOT allowed to TOUCH MY REFRIGERATORS! As far as I am concerned, THE KIDS ARE BUG-MAGNETS with ever-stinky armpits and behinds! They can be doing cartwheels in their own section of the house. THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR KEEPING THEIR AREAS TIDY AND CLUTTER-FREE! Gosh! I am such a germaphobe and I can’t help it! I dun play dat! 9 Likes
|
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by Mindlog: 1:51am On May 13, 2020 |
riches4me: What made you come up with OCD? From the little you shared, am looking at OCPD. |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by KanwuliaExtra: 2:05am On May 13, 2020 |
OCD is just a personality “disorder” to disorganized people. Yup! I pay attention TO EVERY DETAIL! Just do as I do. I have my own areas of the house where NO ONE DARES TO ENTER. I stay away from other people’s areas and spaces. It can be frustrating for all. I CANNOT DATE OR MARRY AN UNTIDY OR DISORGANIZED MAN. I cannot visit people with cluttered homes. I avoid them. In the final analysis it is a reflection of YOUR STATE OF MIND. 2 Likes
|
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by riches4me(m): 4:34am On May 13, 2020 |
From ur explanation, looks like you are a little worse than her, lol. More like a perfectionist and most times looks like controlling. So annoying. In her case, almost all areas she's ready to point out a gap. 3 Likes |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by LordKO(m): 8:35am On May 13, 2020 |
A well packaged dose of aggressiveness on a major issue of interest to her will do the magic - you must not lose to her during the encounter. It must be either that your wish stands, make sure such a wish is one that is fair - or both of you go your separate ways temporarily or permanently. Follow this suggestion only if you are ready to win dishonorably or lose honorably, to avoid blaming someone of destroying your marriage completely. Your dishonorable win will automatically make her to gradually take to conscientiousness, if she has ever had any atom of altruistic interest in you and value the bond that holds two of you, while your honorable loss will mean that she may shamelessly choose to walk out of the marriage rather than allow fairness to reign supreme in the marriage. After having your way on the encounter, if she does not shamelessly walk out of the marriage, unassumingly encourage her directly or indirectly to always exercise her full liberty but not on the periphery of decorum, this will make her to have a healthy self-esteem - you've to avoid becoming a subjugator afterward because in the absence of a healthy self-esteem, a wife with an illusory high self-esteem, like her at the moment, is still better than one with a low self-esteem. The wife you described here doesn't have OCD, so you're strictly dealing with an opinionated wife and your failure to nip her toxic attitude in the bud immediately will make you to become completely subjugable to her - may peace of mind not elude you completely - and she'll gradually take to expediency too, if she hasn't yet because imperiousness and expediency are usually inseparable. Meanwhile, obviously, you're neither a conscientious man nor a headstrong man, else you won't be here to seek solution on this particular issue - there's nothing good about headstrongness though - say no to servility. You've been servile from the inception of your relationship with her, so you're an enabler of her attitude so far. On the other hand, if she's an opinionated woman with ADHD, OCDP or OCD then each requires a different approach. 11 Likes |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by crackkhaus: 9:01am On May 13, 2020 |
KanwuliaExtra:Unless you're referring to the entire medial scientific community as disorganized people, then OCD is a mental illness classified under a spectrum of anxiety disorders, NOT personality disorders. It requires treatment like cognitive-behavioural therapy and/or medications. It's nothing to be proud of. https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ocd/what-is-obsessive-compulsive-disorder 6 Likes |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by cococandy(f): 9:40am On May 13, 2020 |
riches4me:Was she formally diagnosed of OCD or you’re just assuming she has it because of her behavior? In any case, Just leave the house cleaning to her. Less work for you. If I clean and you have to clean it again because you want it to be like a 5 star hotel all the time, I’m more than happy to leave that duty for you and focus on another areas of the home. You’ve been blessed in that aspect. Don’t question it. Just enjoy it. That’s what I do. As for having opinions about how to raise the kids, she’s their mom. Of course she has to have an opinion. The only problem is if she’s fails to include your opinions as well. Then that’s a real problem. Ask her if she would prefer to be raising the kids all by herself? I’m sure that might give her pause to think about what she’s doing by insisting things be her way. 2 Likes |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by Ishilove: 9:47am On May 13, 2020 |
KanwuliaExtra:Your own na helele |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by bukatyne(f): 9:48am On May 13, 2020 |
riches4me: Can you give examples? |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by KanwuliaExtra: 9:50am On May 13, 2020 |
crackkhaus: Oh please! You are referring to extremes here. I am very proud of my OCD! It is not recurrent or intrusive. I stay on my lane always o. I can go daaaaays without cleaning. Not repetitive be any means. I can’t stand “wonky” objects on my walls. I LOOOOOVE SYMMETRY! I don’t like people in MY PERSONAL SPACE and I don’t go to OTHER PEOPLE’S PERSONAL SPACES! My boss knows to GIVE ME MY OWN WORK AREA ALWAYS! Yes! It causes me a great deal of anxiety to see FILTH AND CLUTTER. Is that a bad thing? Fine! You may want to note that EVERYONE is guilty of one form of OCD or another. My OCD ends with CLUTTER AND FILTH! Yes, it is a mental disorder with various degrees on a VERY BROAD SPECTRUM! You have yours too. Check well! In the final analysis, WE ARE ALL SICK! Including ALL DRUG ADDICTS, RITUALISTS, SERIAL RAPISTS, PEDOPHILES, WOMANIZERS, MASTURBATOTRS, ASHAWOS, PORRN-ADDICTS and the list is endless. Is OCD a mental illness? Yes! With NO CURE! 7 Likes |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by KanwuliaExtra: 10:04am On May 13, 2020 |
Ishilove: Very manageable. Most healthcare workers have OCD. People who constantly have to be on social media like Facebook, NL, Tik-Tok, Instagram. . . etc nko? The BIBLE-THUMPERS kwa nu? My pastor dis-my pastor dat! Those who CANNOT STAY OFF THEIR PHONES, checking and checking and checking for “LIKES AND SHARES” nko? Those who CONSTANTLY check the phones of their partners nko? THE LIST IS ENDLESS! 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by crackkhaus: 10:37am On May 13, 2020 |
KanwuliaExtra:You just dey type story. You're the one who diagnosed yourself with OCD, not I. That you like a clean environment or love your own space, does not mean you have OCD... but since you want to put it to yourself that you have OCD, then na serious mental illness you get. The cure, or rather control for it, is cognitive therapy or use of medications. Go and argue this with the medical community and their years of scientific research, not me. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by KanwuliaExtra: 10:44am On May 13, 2020 |
crackkhaus: Na your opinion be that! Yes! I have OCD! with FILTH AND CLUTTER. I nor need cure abeg. You can tell it is the OP that has THE PROBLEM. You see the title of the thread? From “STRONG OPINIONATED WOMAN” to “OCD”! Hiaaaaaahn! Wetin we nor go read for NL! Na crime to get “strong opinion”? riches4me: Is this not a TYPICAL WOMAN!S personality? OP! Please, take your wife to your backyard and GUN HER DOWN! Simple, 1 Like
|
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by Nobody: 11:22am On May 13, 2020 |
KanwuliaExtra:My chest don block o .. yeeee! i don catch my sub!! 1 Like |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by KanwuliaExtra: 11:27am On May 13, 2020 |
yettymuse: Abi na lie? Those wey dey pay so-so TITHES, even with empty bank accounts nko? 2 Likes |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by KanwuliaExtra: 11:33am On May 13, 2020 |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by riches4me(m): 12:53pm On May 13, 2020 |
The OCD that I mentioned was just to qualify the level at which she strictly follow her rules. Pls, don't get it twisted I love my wife. I'm just looking for opinions on how best to deal with the situation. |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by riches4me(m): 12:57pm On May 13, 2020 |
KanwuliaExtra:Huh! You are a troubled soul. |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by KanwuliaExtra: 1:44pm On May 13, 2020 |
riches4me: Uh-huhn! Most women have strong opinions. Having a strong opinion means having a strong personality aka CONTROL FREAK! Did your wife just become like that? Or is it COVID 19 LOCKDOWN that has given you the FINAL opportunity to KNOW YOUR WIFE? When it comes to home affairs, women run the shows. Yes, there has to be compromise if you can. If she can’t change or you can’t accept the situation, you will have to work around her imperfections or kiss your marriage goodbye. I have a STRONG PERSONALITY and everyone has learned to work around my “own ocd” with their “own ocds”! We tolerate and accommodate each other because at the end of it all, we all have our own little “pet peaves”. . . .OCD or not! That is marriage! Are you gonna tell us you don’t have your own wahala that causes people around you to get irritated or anxious? 5 Likes |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by Heiterkeit(f): 3:59pm On May 14, 2020 |
riches4me: Didn't you notice that she is opinionated during the time you were dating her? 1 Like |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by thorpido(m): 5:06pm On May 14, 2020 |
You have to manage your wife like that and work around her.It's the only way to deal with it. I can't say if she has OCD but from your story,she's strongly opinionated and has some form of compulsive disorder. Except she agrees to and receives behavioural therapy, follow Kanwuliaextra's advise.Create your own space and work around it |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by Nobody: 5:08pm On May 14, 2020 |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by Sixfeetbelle: 7:17pm On May 14, 2020 |
LordKO: |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by TonyeBarcanista(m): 11:21pm On May 14, 2020 |
riches4me:She was like this before you married her, and you think you can change it? Bros sorry, live with your decision! Sorry, live with it or Take a stand as a man |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by Drfernandez(m): 8:08am On May 15, 2020 |
Heiterkeit: maybe she pretended not to be like that when they were courting. |
Re: Strong Opinionated Woman by Heiterkeit(f): 3:14pm On May 16, 2020 |
Drfernandez: It is not possible, unless they did not court before they marry. |
(1) (Reply)
I Don't Worth Living Anymore / My Dad Send Me Packing Because My Mum Left Him And She Want To Go Back To Him / Travelling To Nigeria And Not Going To Ur Husbands Village
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 69 |