₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
@bold, I am for a greater society not 'keeper of societal beliefs'. The family is the bedrock or smallest unit of the society. Get the family right, and the society is better for it.

1. Promiscuity is everywhere because the society is broken; because people live their lives as they please. Ditto immoral children. That a person took the vows of matrimony does not mean they are moral or their character/moral defect is washed away. Bring it to Nigeria; they say all men are cheats; why is it easy for the men to get sex outside their marriages? What made these men unwilling to uphold their martial vows? Because 'everyone' is 'free' to do as they please. Everyone is free to do as they please sees 'woke' till a mother sees her 19 year old dancing naked on instagram, sleeping with a 50 year old for cash or a father sees his child with a sugar mommy older than his mother. Bobrisky is a entertainment personality; nobody prays to have a son like him. We are free till a 16 year old gets drunk, drives and kills a whole family; till someone thinks it is OK to put drugs in drinks for people and rape them or kill them. Or till an Adolf Hitler thinks 'oh, I hate Jews' and set out on a genocide.

2. What makes that personal choice? It is the training and disciple imbibed in a person from childhood. Are there some exceptions, yes.

3. Go to 1.

4. Go to 1.

5. Because the average African isn't moral in the first place. Don't confuse morality with timidity or hypocrisy rife in our society. If we were moral, you would not have politicians who have supporters, people exploiting others, people maltreat anyone they are unfortunate to be above, deceit, sexual promiscuity, inordinate desire for wealth, maltreating vulnerable people etc.

Arthur2021:
so when ladies tells others not to date broke men do you consider it as infringing on the ladies choice? Do you think it is live and let live?I have never seen anyone attacked for an advise let this before. Its a personal beef..
Some went ahead to say the moniker doesn't deserve to have kids

Arthur2021:
I wonder how some ladies deal with hypocrisy...they almost lynched buka for a pro-marriage stance and called it infringing on their choices yet they celebrate this OP for his/her subtly anti-marriage stance

Ladyhippolyta88:
Do I know you?

Have I ever seen your monicker before.
Did I come at Buka on that thread or publicly disagree with her or attack her on her views so why the mention

sisisioge:
Actually, it's a taboo for thoroughbred African women to shun marriage. They would rather marry someone if only to get divorce the next minute to at least mark the register and have children. We are yet to be bold enough to outrightly shun it and get away with it, without the society having our hides.

But the truth is, a woman who has the options of making money through a fulfilling career, have children and get attention from her preferred seex ( straight or ga) at anytime will rather stay single. In that case, marriage will only complicate her life.

IVORY2009:
Hi my friend longest time!

fieryy:
Oh please! Do not try to change the topic here. What does all these have to do with broke men? As far as I am even concerned, broke men are being dated and get married too on a daily basis.
At the end of the day, chances are high you'd marry someone from the same social circle as yours. What's a doctor going to do with a mechanic or a lawyer going to do with a house boy? This happens the other way round too. Men and women tend to marry someone from the same circle, so don't be ridiculous.

Besides, I see some guys list down what they want in a woman and what they don't. What's stopping them from adding 'broke women' to do list? As a matter of fact, most do not even want to marry women who earn more than they do!

Also, at the end of the day I have every right to choose and decide whatever characteristics I want in a man. I have the right to turn a man down however I deem fit without having to explain myself! So if some ladies don't want to date broke men, how exactly do you want to force them to?! Yes, it might be hypocritical, but how many broke ladies do not end up with broke men

Back to this


"Some went ahead to say the moniker doesn't deserve to have kids"

It had just been ONE PERSON! And she or he was criticized for going too far! Some really did overflog the issue (just like you're doing now by the way) and I agree some posts were very harsh. I expressed that in the other thread as well, but I was told to keep my pity to myself

Arthur2021:
you people blame society always for not making your choices. If you continue to depend on society opinion of you that's your problem.

I know many unmarried ladies from nigeria in their 30s and 40s and no one bullies them for it.

People's opinions will always be there,waiting for their approval before making a choice is you ladies problem.

Since society did this or that, if you are waiting for society to embrace your choices then wait for eternity. Because in as much as you have the right to your choices they have the right to see things as they see

emmaodet:
Gbam!!!!!
They are always blaming something for their misfortunes - society, men, patriarchy etc
If you want to stay single, stay single and don't disturb us. You can tell how society will look at you, that is the choice of society and don't shove your opinion down the throat of society.
If you want to be a yahooboy, cocaine pusher, armed robber, prostitutes, go ahead but don't insist on the society to accept your way of life or pamper you at the back for the decisions you make.

Arthur2021:
if you don't know anything about me or what I stand for or what I oppose STFU!
I didn't sayvanything about feminism is my post but feminists(if you don't know there are lots that have thwarted the original meaning of feminism).
Except we don't reside in the same USA,virgins, housewives are being mocked.

In my very eyes they have told a lady that was engaged to see marriage as an invitation to slavery ..
Albeit they don't say it authoratively,they say it in an advice-manner or convincing manner.

The same manner some dolts wanted to crucify bukatyne for.

I wonder how you ladies cope with hypocrisy, crucifying buka for her pro-marriage stance and praising the op for her subtly anti-marriage stance. The former is tagged infringing on women choices but when women open threads and tell their other ladies not to date poor men nobody calls it infringing on their choices.


PS:think whatever you want to think of anti-feminists. It is not today I realise that if you don't dance to delusions of some feminists then you are a misogynt to their eyes. An if you don't indulge in feminism as a woman you are tagged a pick mesh a...

There is always a name for someone who doesn't agree with the movement.

LordKO:
Decorum and egoism/self-interest will always be alien to each other - that you posited is a perfect depiction of the mentality of an egoist - no wonder subjugation reigns supreme wherever an egoist holds sway. Altruism is truly not a woman's forte.

Monishaa:
And you came to this conclusion how?

[color=SLATEGREY]
Its a proven FACT.
All the women the OP used had at least a child irrespective of their decision not to get married
Linda ikeji has a child
Genevieve has a child
Okonji-iweala has a child
Cardi B has a child
Nicky-minaj left music to focus on family
Tiwa savaga has a child...
All the women above can do without marriage (some are even divorcees)....yet they knew that having a child is IMPORTANT....
So if you still believe a woman can be fulfilled without a child ( hers/adopted), then go ahead and be that woman..
GL
[/color]

Arthur2021:
these women have the choice on when and who they want to marry,but we are called names for our perception towards some choices.. If you give freedom to women to make choices you should give humans the same freedom to personal beliefs band ideologies whether they like those ideologies or not.

It is just like wanting to walk to the mall and you are scared passerby's will not like you dress and then accuse them of oppressing you for not liking your dress.


Make no mistake, they are genuine cases of young ladies forced into marriage or subjected into harmful traditional practices. I support feminism for that.

But its not at all instance you talk if society.
If you want to stay single, fine don't blame people for how they perceive them

Arthur2021:
No one is changing topic but citing an example of hypocrisy.
I used the broke or rich men as example,not that I decided to have a conversation on that. I am Pro-choice.
Get the point I am passing across don't bring a discussion from a mere example

You all are selective on advice's you tag "infringing on someone's right" and advises you applaud

Advising a lady to marry and a lady to date only rich guys are both advises,sadly you tag one the infringement and tag another hood advise.

sisisioge:
Hmmm...I dont want to say the first part of your argument has no bearing on the topic of discussion, but let me just point out that every society has its rules(Africa and the world over) otherwise they won't qualify as a society. Prostitutes are everywhere, even in Saudi Arabia...You know that in the same country that won't allow you walk the street naked, they have nude beaches as well as nudist society....


Also there are some things that are not against the law but have moral undertone which leave individuals to choose their stands. A more related example is : Nigeria does not recognize common law partnership while most European countries do. Yet, there are several non married couples cohabiting in Nigeria (did the government influence the morals there?)...again, laws tend to stem out of what a collective people of common interest belief to be right yet individuals still reserve the right to choose their moral stands so long as its not outrightly written as against the law.

The choice to get married or remain single is a human right.

emmaodet:
If you think so, then so shall it be.
You don't expect people doing well in there marriages to come online and start shouting about it.
If you want to see people with good marriages, change your circle because people i mingle with 90% have good marriages in this same nigeria.
If you want to be single and hopping on dicks regularly, it is your choice but don't downgrade marriage due to your own shortcomings in it.
Naturally, people hate or don't like things they fail at.
Most employees don't like business because they don't have what it takes to succeed in it. It is very easy for you to see a dull student who doesn't like going to school and someone that hates church will always downgrade it.
You may be succesful in other parts of your life like finance, business etc but so far so good, in relationship cum marriage, i believe you failed.

emmaodet:
Gbam!!!!!
They are always blaming something for their misfortunes - society, men, patriarchy etc
If you want to stay single, stay single and don't disturb us. You can tell how society will look at you, that is the choice of society and don't shove your opinion down the throat of society.
If you want to be a yahooboy, cocaine pusher, armed robber, prostitutes, go ahead but don't insist on the society to accept your way of life or pamper you at the back for the decisions you make.

Arthur2021:
if you don't know anything about me or what I stand for or what I oppose STFU!
I didn't sayvanything about feminism is my post but feminists(if you don't know there are lots that have thwarted the original meaning of feminism).
Except we don't reside in the same USA,virgins, housewives are being mocked.

In my very eyes they have told a lady that was engaged to see marriage as an invitation to slavery ..
Albeit they don't say it authoratively,they say it in an advice-manner or convincing manner.

The same manner some dolts wanted to crucify bukatyne for.

I wonder how you ladies cope with hypocrisy, crucifying buka for her pro-marriage stance and praising the op for her subtly anti-marriage stance. The former is tagged infringing on women choices but when women open threads and tell their other ladies not to date poor men nobody calls it infringing on their choices.


PS:think whatever you want to think of anti-feminists. It is not today I realise that if you don't dance to delusions of some feminists then you are a misogynt to their eyes. An if you don't indulge in feminism as a woman you are tagged a pick mesh a...

There is always a name for someone who doesn't agree with the movement.

Ariza:
.

Ladyhippolyta88:


Soldier sir
Happy new year
Where have you been?
Goodmorning

emmaodet:
But what i said is true.
You can't control how the society sees you - be it a prostitute, yahoo, cocaine dealer, armed robber etc
Take your actions and deal with whatever happens.
If you don't like the stigma that come with your choice then don't do it unless the pros outweighs the cons in your opinion.

Omoluabi16:
What exactly are the intricacies of 'I Do' ? All spheres of life has it's own intricacies. Health, work, friendship e t.c What exactly are the intricacies of 'I do' do you think these women dread so much. Commitment? the children? No clapback biko. I just want to learn something today my dear sweetcunt.

emmaodet:
But what i said is true.
You can't control how the society sees you - be it a prostitute, yahoo, cocaine dealer, armed robber etc
Take your actions and deal with whatever happens.
If you don't like the stigma that come with your choice then don't do it unless the pros outweighs the cons in your opinion.

bukatyne:
Marriage in their case was/would have been formalty.

Imagine Oprah saying she is not married and living with her lover like forever.

Monishaa:
Even if they didn't, being alone/single and being lonely are two different things.

cococandy:
The fact that you’re drawing a parallel between crimes and the choice to stay single tells all the reason why a thread like this is necessary.

You folks say you don’t shame single women. But that’s all you do.

Ariza:
No, what you said isn't true. Humans grow everyday, perception change as we understand things more.We evolved with discovery of new things and broaden our knowledge everyday. This way we change, the society change. It is very possible to change how people think so far these people are open minded. I can change my society, you can.

Lol, if you compare Marriage with prostitute, yahoo boy, cocaine dealers then you have a more warped and scary mindset of Marriage than everyone here. Is Marriage that bad? To start with Marriage isn't a moral thing but social thing.

Ariza:
Buka, Marriage has never curbed promiscuity or lessen bastards. Let's be realistic. Rather it has made most people hypocrites, preachers of truth but doers of evil. It places both Men and Women in tight corners they end up cunningly twist themselves out.Married people cheat, divorce, have illegitimate children, keep concubines, go after younger girls and boys and crazily cheat with fellow married ones. Even the so called followers of Paul's advice now leave priesthood to feel women's warmth, those who still want to keep their posts go for nuns to satisfy their urges. But then they all still want to keep that MARRIED and PRIESTHOOD status. Because that's what society want.
Here's the deal: If most men have their way, they won't get married. Do we talk about the uneven responsibility, the struggle to cater of their family, the need to remain with one woman etc. Most men have abandoned their passion, their true self just to remain legally attached to a woman. Heaven helps him if the Woman is a devil.

Now to the Woman, believe me if all women are financially independent, emotionally intelligent, successful career wise most will not get married. Especially the African Women. African Marriage is draining! And women are mostly at the receiving end. A man can wake up one day and decide to change his SITUATION without the society raising its brows while a Woman can't. A man can decide to follow his passion, find his true self, indulge in polygamy or keep concubines, send his devilish wife packing without any black lash. But the Woman can't, most times women either learn to accept a scum of a husband or shift her attention to her children. But deep down she will continue to curse the day her parents accepted her dowry. That is the difference.

Now, if some women decide to avoid all headache at all cost and they decide to live by themselves and die unmarried, have they done any wrong? Some men don't want and will never get married, why is it a taboo for Women? Don't their lives and sanity matter too? We heard and read stories of Men and Women who lost their lives to violent partners because they didn't let go when they should have yes we blame them for choosing marriage over their lives but the question remain: Wouldn't we have also insulted, stigmatized, downgraded them if they had chosen to let go or remained Unmarried? Oh well your guess is as good as mine.

My point: People should be able to choose how they live their lives, even Christ and Heavenly Father gave us that freedom, Who are we to judge anyone?

emmaodet:
But women too broke shame men. We all are feeling the pressures