₦airaland Forum

The pain of 'ejecting' 3 at one go may kill you.

Is your body (and privates) built well enough?

If so you can undergo IVF treatment which can increase your chances - or test tube treatment where 3 embryo's will be inserted simultaneously.

You may have to travel abroad for the treatment (although i'm sure many witch doctors in naija will claim to be able to perform the magic)

Yar'Adua put his faith in his 'arab brothers' - and they killed him (mentally?) in order for Nigeria's oil production to fall through civil disorder which will indirectly lead to an increase in their oil exports.

There is clear motive on the arab side - their excesses of recent years have caught up with them. Saudi Arabia is almost bankrupt! And the demise of Yar'Adua will bring billions of much needed revenue into their pockets for them to waste again on rediculous excesses.

Research indicates oil exports from Nigeria are falling whilst the Saudi's are increasing their own exports to to meet demand.

Apparently he's been moved to a psychiatric wing to begin his rehabilitation.

However brain-damage is not something that is easily reversed and its been accepted he is brain dead.

Medically he's now classed as a 'vegetable'. It's a well known fact amongst those in the know.

Yar'Adua whether Dead, Half Dead or Alive has a lot of blood on his hand - and so do his arab brothers.

FACT

He's been moved to a psychiatric wing to begin his rehabilitation.

However brain-damage is not something that is easily reversed.

Medically he's now classed as a 'vegetable'. It's a well known fact amongst those in the know.

He put his faith in his 'arab brothers' - and they have killed him in order for Nigeria's oil production to fall through civil disorder which will indirectly lead to an increase in their oil exports.

There is clear motive on the arab side - their excesses of recent years have caught up with them. Saudi Arabia is almost bankrupt! And the demise of Yar'Adua will bring billions of much needed revenue into their pockets for them to waste again on rediculous excesses.

They have finalised the cloning process and it was a success apart from one thing - He now has an american womans voice and therefore cannot speak in public due to the constant profanities that exit his mouth.

We must not forget the 'crooked' contractors in the country who have also taken billions and delivered nothing or in some cases death.

What's this new division you are trying to sneak in - Niger Delta Republic?

Have you not considered the population make up of these territories?

The Niger Delta Republic is unlikely to have a population above 5 Million of which a majority would be of Igbo heritage. Therefore the region would be constantly under threat of aniliation from its bordering neighbours? Biafra is likely to overrun it within weeks?

The Division should be three - the same as before the civil war - North, West and Eastern Nigeria.

Or even better - just 2 divisions; Biafra and 'The Rest Of Them' (Nigeria)

A Chinese person born in Nigeria is not a Nigerian - Just a citizen of Nigeria if he/she acquires a Nigerian passport.

They will always be Chineses - Those born in the UK will also be seen as Chinese - but they will also be a citizen of Britain.

Dont get confused like some lesser blacks (eg Jamaicans) who have had the concept of identity stripped from their hearts and minds. I have heard some of them say they are ENGLISH which is embarassing not just to African's who know their roots but also to indigneous English people who could never accept them as their own.

But if you try telling a Jamaican he is of African heritage you may get shot!!

The example's of the failure of Nigeria are numerous and a most Nigerian's agree its a failed state.

The amount of stress and anxiety placed upon the people by those is power is unacceptable.

We Nigerian's must start to be honest at least with ourselves and accept change (REVOLUTION) is needed.

New Rules of Air travel for Nigerians heading for the United States

Do not ask to be upgraded to first class or business class. Sitting too close to the front of the plane makes the pilot nervous.

When you are getting onto the plane, do not even glance at the cockpit.

Do not go to the toilet for the whole duratifon of your flight.

Do not carry any kind of container into the airport, or onto the plane.

Do not request for a window seat. Do not ask to sit in the aisle. Any request for specific seating may be indications of a premeditated plot.

If you are given food during the flight, ask the flight attendant not to give you cutlery. A Nigerian with sharp implements on a plane is asking to be arrested.

Do keep your hands in plain sight during the flight.

Do not look too happy or too sad.

Do not be too polite to flight attendants.

Do not be aggressive or have aggressive thoughts toward flight attendants

Try not to have any form of carry on luggage. If you do, make sure it contains nothing suspicious or dangerous like pens, pencils, paper,the koran or a calculator, as these are common bomb making materials.

Do not carry any electronic items that may be used to communicate with the Taliban or used for surveillance, like cell phones, iPods, walkmans, electric toothbrushes or cameras.

NEVER travel with your laptop computer as it may be mistaken for a koran.

Never travel if you have any kind of tribal marks. That includes the small marks you have managed to cover with facial hair,

Do not travel to the U.S if you are an engineer, if you have ever lived in London, or if your father is a banker or cattle herder.

Do not talk to other Nigerian's on the same flight as you. It makes other people nervous.

Never admit to your fellow passengers that you are a Nigerian. If asked, say you are from the Republic of Zamunda in East Africa.

Women, do not wear wigs, weaves or hair pieces. Any form of disguise is suspicious,

Take a cold shower before coming to the airport. Sweating and scratching yourself is a sign of nervousness. Why are you nervous?

Do not fart on the plane. Noxious smells might indicate you have bomb making chemicals hidden in your underpants.

Do not go home with the free magazines in the plane. Yes, it says “ free”, but that is just a test. Leave the plane with those magazines and you’ll be arrested.

Wear clean underwear and be ready for a full body/cavity search.

Do not carry any potentially dangerous or toxic substances onto the plane like toothpaste, cough mixture, bottled water, mouthwash, lipstick, chewing gum or baby formula. Make sure your baby’s diapers are empty.

Do not get angry with fellow passengers, for any reason, even if it’s their fault. You will still be arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay.

Do not travel by air into, out of, or across the U.S if you are Muslim.

Muslim is defined as :


Any person with a suspicious name like Mohammed, Fatal, Fatima, Barrack or Ibrahim, or if your last name starts with El-, Al-, or Abdul-.All Nigerian Alhajis, Alhajas, Alfas and Imams are forbidden from entering U.S airspace

Anyone that has ever entered a mosque.

Anyone that knows what a mosque is.

Anyone that dresses in long flowing garments.

Anyone that has a beard.

NOTE: If you converted from Islam to Christianity, you are still classified as Muslim.

Always travel with some kind of proof that you are a Christian, Preferably always travel with your pastor.

Do not attract attention to yourself. Do not drive to the airport in your Mercedes or Honda like a typical Nigerian. Instead, drive an American car like Pontiac or Chevy. You may be mistaken for an American. Or Haitian.

Do not ask to drink soda, tea or coffee in the airport or on the plane. Always ask for alcohol to prove you are not a Muslim.

Do not travel by air in the U.S if you have ever had a parking ticket, extra-marital affair, stolen stationary from your office, or if you have ever exceeded the speed limit. This is a sign of severe subversive terrorist behavior.

Do not travel on or around Christmas day or on September 11th. Avoid travelling on or around Easter, Thanks Giving , Independence day or New year’s Day. Avoid traveling on Muslim holidays. Avoid air travel in the summer or winter. (NOTE: no specific reason, its just to piss you off)

YORUBA People, PLEASE!!! Do not prostrate to greet your elders at the airport. People may think you are dodging bullets or protecting yourself from a bomb blast.

NEVER, EVER carry any kind of Nigerian food onto a US aircraft.

No, do not wear agbadas, head ties, wrappers, danshikis, etc to the airport. It is not recommended. They make you look very un-American, and therefore potentially dangerous.

Do not act like a typical Nigerian for the duration of the flight. This includes speaking any language other than “American English”. Speaking any “funny” language is to be avoided.

If you have elderly parents that do not speak “American”, they should NOT speak for the duration of the flight. If spoken to, their response to anything should be “Yeah man”.

DO not talk to your fellow passengers. Statements like “hello” might be misconstrued to be “Hello, you are my next victim”. Statements like “ Hello, my name is Mohammed”, may be interpreted as “my name is Mohammed and I’m gonna blow up this goddam plane”.

Do not wear large afros that may conceal weapons or bombs.

Do not carry any kind of document , newspaper or book that contains any form of Arabic inscription or writing. You will be detained until a translator can be found.

And finally, do not argue when you are told your luggage is over weight. Apologise profusely and pay double what they ask you for excess luggage.

New Rules of Air travel for Nigerians heading for the United States

Do not ask to be upgraded to first class or business class. Sitting too close to the front of the plane makes the pilot nervous.

When you are getting onto the plane, do not even glance at the cockpit.

Do not go to the toilet for the whole duratifon of your flight.

Do not carry any kind of container into the airport, or onto the plane.

Do not request for a window seat. Do not ask to sit in the aisle. Any request for specific seating may be indications of a premeditated plot.

If you are given food during the flight, ask the flight attendant not to give you cutlery. A Nigerian with sharp implements on a plane is asking to be arrested.

Do keep your hands in plain sight during the flight.

Do not look too happy or too sad.

Do not be too polite to flight attendants.

Do not be aggressive or have aggressive thoughts toward flight attendants

Try not to have any form of carry on luggage. If you do, make sure it contains nothing suspicious or dangerous like pens, pencils, paper,the koran or a calculator, as these are common bomb making materials.

Do not carry any electronic items that may be used to communicate with the Taliban or used for surveillance, like cell phones, iPods, walkmans, electric toothbrushes or cameras.

NEVER travel with your laptop computer as it may be mistaken for a koran.

Never travel if you have any kind of tribal marks. That includes the small marks you have managed to cover with facial hair,

Do not travel to the U.S if you are an engineer, if you have ever lived in London, or if your father is a banker or cattle herder.

Do not talk to other Nigerian's on the same flight as you. It makes other people nervous.

Never admit to your fellow passengers that you are a Nigerian. If asked, say you are from the Republic of Zamunda in East Africa.

Women, do not wear wigs, weaves or hair pieces. Any form of disguise is suspicious,

Take a cold shower before coming to the airport. Sweating and scratching yourself is a sign of nervousness. Why are you nervous?

Do not fart on the plane. Noxious smells might indicate you have bomb making chemicals hidden in your underpants.

Do not go home with the free magazines in the plane. Yes, it says “ free”, but that is just a test. Leave the plane with those magazines and you’ll be arrested.

Wear clean underwear and be ready for a full body/cavity search.

Do not carry any potentially dangerous or toxic substances onto the plane like toothpaste, cough mixture, bottled water, mouthwash, lipstick, chewing gum or baby formula. Make sure your baby’s diapers are empty.

Do not get angry with fellow passengers, for any reason, even if it’s their fault. You will still be arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay.

Do not travel by air into, out of, or across the U.S if you are Muslim.

Muslim is defined as :


Any person with a suspicious name like Mohammed, Fatal, Fatima, Barrack or Ibrahim, or if your last name starts with El-, Al-, or Abdul-.All Nigerian Alhajis, Alhajas, Alfas and Imams are forbidden from entering U.S airspace

Anyone that has ever entered a mosque.

Anyone that knows what a mosque is.

Anyone that dresses in long flowing garments.

Anyone that has a beard.

NOTE: If you converted from Islam to Christianity, you are still classified as Muslim.

Always travel with some kind of proof that you are a Christian, Preferably always travel with your pastor.

Do not attract attention to yourself. Do not drive to the airport in your Mercedes or Honda like a typical Nigerian. Instead, drive an American car like Pontiac or Chevy. You may be mistaken for an American. Or Haitian.

Do not ask to drink soda, tea or coffee in the airport or on the plane. Always ask for alcohol to prove you are not a Muslim.

Do not travel by air in the U.S if you have ever had a parking ticket, extra-marital affair, stolen stationary from your office, or if you have ever exceeded the speed limit. This is a sign of severe subversive terrorist behavior.

Do not travel on or around Christmas day or on September 11th. Avoid travelling on or around Easter, Thanks Giving , Independence day or New year’s Day. Avoid traveling on Muslim holidays. Avoid air travel in the summer or winter. (NOTE: no specific reason, its just to piss you off)

YORUBA People, PLEASE!!! Do not prostrate to greet your elders at the airport. People may think you are dodging bullets or protecting yourself from a bomb blast.

NEVER, EVER carry any kind of Nigerian food onto a US aircraft.

No, do not wear agbadas, head ties, wrappers, danshikis, etc to the airport. It is not recommended. They make you look very un-American, and therefore potentially dangerous.

Do not act like a typical Nigerian for the duration of the flight. This includes speaking any language other than “American English”. Speaking any “funny” language is to be avoided.

If you have elderly parents that do not speak “American”, they should NOT speak for the duration of the flight. If spoken to, their response to anything should be “Yeah man”.

DO not talk to your fellow passengers. Statements like “hello” might be misconstrued to be “Hello, you are my next victim”. Statements like “ Hello, my name is Mohammed”, may be interpreted as “my name is Mohammed and I’m gonna blow up this goddam plane”.

Do not wear large afros that may conceal weapons or bombs.

Do not carry any kind of document , newspaper or book that contains any form of Arabic inscription or writing. You will be detained until a translator can be found.

And finally, do not argue when you are told your luggage is over weight. Apologise profusely and pay double what they ask you for excess luggage.

New Rules of Air travel for Nigerians heading for the United States

Do not ask to be upgraded to first class or business class. Sitting too close to the front of the plane makes the pilot nervous.

When you are getting onto the plane, do not even glance at the cockpit.

Do not go to the toilet for the whole duratifon of your flight.

Do not carry any kind of container into the airport, or onto the plane.

Do not request for a window seat. Do not ask to sit in the aisle. Any request for specific seating may be indications of a premeditated plot.

If you are given food during the flight, ask the flight attendant not to give you cutlery. A Nigerian with sharp implements on a plane is asking to be arrested.

Do keep your hands in plain sight during the flight.

Do not look too happy or too sad.

Do not be too polite to flight attendants.

Do not be aggressive or have aggressive thoughts toward flight attendants

Try not to have any form of carry on luggage. If you do, make sure it contains nothing suspicious or dangerous like pens, pencils, paper,the koran or a calculator, as these are common bomb making materials.

Do not carry any electronic items that may be used to communicate with the Taliban or used for surveillance, like cell phones, iPods, walkmans, electric toothbrushes or cameras.

NEVER travel with your laptop computer as it may be mistaken for a koran.

Never travel if you have any kind of tribal marks. That includes the small marks you have managed to cover with facial hair,

Do not travel to the U.S if you are an engineer, if you have ever lived in London, or if your father is a banker or cattle herder.

Do not talk to other Nigerian's on the same flight as you. It makes other people nervous.

Never admit to your fellow passengers that you are a Nigerian. If asked, say you are from the Republic of Zamunda in East Africa.

Women, do not wear wigs, weaves or hair pieces. Any form of disguise is suspicious,

Take a cold shower before coming to the airport. Sweating and scratching yourself is a sign of nervousness. Why are you nervous?

Do not fart on the plane. Noxious smells might indicate you have bomb making chemicals hidden in your underpants.

Do not go home with the free magazines in the plane. Yes, it says “ free”, but that is just a test. Leave the plane with those magazines and you’ll be arrested.

Wear clean underwear and be ready for a full body/cavity search.

Do not carry any potentially dangerous or toxic substances onto the plane like toothpaste, cough mixture, bottled water, mouthwash, lipstick, chewing gum or baby formula. Make sure your baby’s diapers are empty.

Do not get angry with fellow passengers, for any reason, even if it’s their fault. You will still be arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay.

Do not travel by air into, out of, or across the U.S if you are Muslim.

Muslim is defined as :


Any person with a suspicious name like Mohammed, Fatal, Fatima, Barrack or Ibrahim, or if your last name starts with El-, Al-, or Abdul-.All Nigerian Alhajis, Alhajas, Alfas and Imams are forbidden from entering U.S airspace

Anyone that has ever entered a mosque.

Anyone that knows what a mosque is.

Anyone that dresses in long flowing garments.

Anyone that has a beard.

NOTE: If you converted from Islam to Christianity, you are still classified as Muslim.

Always travel with some kind of proof that you are a Christian, Preferably always travel with your pastor.

Do not attract attention to yourself. Do not drive to the airport in your Mercedes or Honda like a typical Nigerian. Instead, drive an American car like Pontiac or Chevy. You may be mistaken for an American. Or Haitian.

Do not ask to drink soda, tea or coffee in the airport or on the plane. Always ask for alcohol to prove you are not a Muslim.

Do not travel by air in the U.S if you have ever had a parking ticket, extra-marital affair, stolen stationary from your office, or if you have ever exceeded the speed limit. This is a sign of severe subversive terrorist behavior.

Do not travel on or around Christmas day or on September 11th. Avoid travelling on or around Easter, Thanks Giving , Independence day or New year’s Day. Avoid traveling on Muslim holidays. Avoid air travel in the summer or winter. (NOTE: no specific reason, its just to piss you off)

YORUBA People, PLEASE!!! Do not prostrate to greet your elders at the airport. People may think you are dodging bullets or protecting yourself from a bomb blast.

NEVER, EVER carry any kind of Nigerian food onto a US aircraft.

No, do not wear agbadas, head ties, wrappers, danshikis, etc to the airport. It is not recommended. They make you look very un-American, and therefore potentially dangerous.

Do not act like a typical Nigerian for the duration of the flight. This includes speaking any language other than “American English”. Speaking any “funny” language is to be avoided.

If you have elderly parents that do not speak “American”, they should NOT speak for the duration of the flight. If spoken to, their response to anything should be “Yeah man”.

DO not talk to your fellow passengers. Statements like “hello” might be misconstrued to be “Hello, you are my next victim”. Statements like “ Hello, my name is Mohammed”, may be interpreted as “my name is Mohammed and I’m gonna blow up this goddam plane”.

Do not wear large afros that may conceal weapons or bombs.

Do not carry any kind of document , newspaper or book that contains any form of Arabic inscription or writing. You will be detained until a translator can be found.

And finally, do not argue when you are told your luggage is over weight. Apologise profusely and pay double what they ask you for excess luggage.

New Rules of Air travel for Nigerians heading for the United States

Do not ask to be upgraded to first class or business class. Sitting too close to the front of the plane makes the pilot nervous.

When you are getting onto the plane, do not even glance at the cockpit.

Do not go to the toilet for the whole duratifon of your flight.

Do not carry any kind of container into the airport, or onto the plane.

Do not request for a window seat. Do not ask to sit in the aisle. Any request for specific seating may be indications of a premeditated plot.

If you are given food during the flight, ask the flight attendant not to give you cutlery. A Nigerian with sharp implements on a plane is asking to be arrested.

Do keep your hands in plain sight during the flight.

Do not look too happy or too sad.

Do not be too polite to flight attendants.

Do not be aggressive or have aggressive thoughts toward flight attendants

Try not to have any form of carry on luggage. If you do, make sure it contains nothing suspicious or dangerous like pens, pencils, paper,the koran or a calculator, as these are common bomb making materials.

Do not carry any electronic items that may be used to communicate with the Taliban or used for surveillance, like cell phones, iPods, walkmans, electric toothbrushes or cameras.

NEVER travel with your laptop computer as it may be mistaken for a koran.

Never travel if you have any kind of tribal marks. That includes the small marks you have managed to cover with facial hair,

Do not travel to the U.S if you are an engineer, if you have ever lived in London, or if your father is a banker or cattle herder.

Do not talk to other Nigerian's on the same flight as you. It makes other people nervous.

Never admit to your fellow passengers that you are a Nigerian. If asked, say you are from the Republic of Zamunda in East Africa.

Women, do not wear wigs, weaves or hair pieces. Any form of disguise is suspicious,

Take a cold shower before coming to the airport. Sweating and scratching yourself is a sign of nervousness. Why are you nervous?

Do not fart on the plane. Noxious smells might indicate you have bomb making chemicals hidden in your underpants.

Do not go home with the free magazines in the plane. Yes, it says “ free”, but that is just a test. Leave the plane with those magazines and you’ll be arrested.

Wear clean underwear and be ready for a full body/cavity search.

Do not carry any potentially dangerous or toxic substances onto the plane like toothpaste, cough mixture, bottled water, mouthwash, lipstick, chewing gum or baby formula. Make sure your baby’s diapers are empty.

Do not get angry with fellow passengers, for any reason, even if it’s their fault. You will still be arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay.

Do not travel by air into, out of, or across the U.S if you are Muslim.

Muslim is defined as :


Any person with a suspicious name like Mohammed, Fatal, Fatima, Barrack or Ibrahim, or if your last name starts with El-, Al-, or Abdul-.All Nigerian Alhajis, Alhajas, Alfas and Imams are forbidden from entering U.S airspace

Anyone that has ever entered a mosque.

Anyone that knows what a mosque is.

Anyone that dresses in long flowing garments.

Anyone that has a beard.

NOTE: If you converted from Islam to Christianity, you are still classified as Muslim.

Always travel with some kind of proof that you are a Christian, Preferably always travel with your pastor.

Do not attract attention to yourself. Do not drive to the airport in your Mercedes or Honda like a typical Nigerian. Instead, drive an American car like Pontiac or Chevy. You may be mistaken for an American. Or Haitian.

Do not ask to drink soda, tea or coffee in the airport or on the plane. Always ask for alcohol to prove you are not a Muslim.

Do not travel by air in the U.S if you have ever had a parking ticket, extra-marital affair, stolen stationary from your office, or if you have ever exceeded the speed limit. This is a sign of severe subversive terrorist behavior.

Do not travel on or around Christmas day or on September 11th. Avoid travelling on or around Easter, Thanks Giving , Independence day or New year’s Day. Avoid traveling on Muslim holidays. Avoid air travel in the summer or winter. (NOTE: no specific reason, its just to piss you off)

YORUBA People, PLEASE!!! Do not prostrate to greet your elders at the airport. People may think you are dodging bullets or protecting yourself from a bomb blast.

NEVER, EVER carry any kind of Nigerian food onto a US aircraft.

No, do not wear agbadas, head ties, wrappers, danshikis, etc to the airport. It is not recommended. They make you look very un-American, and therefore potentially dangerous.

Do not act like a typical Nigerian for the duration of the flight. This includes speaking any language other than “American English”. Speaking any “funny” language is to be avoided.

If you have elderly parents that do not speak “American”, they should NOT speak for the duration of the flight. If spoken to, their response to anything should be “Yeah man”.

DO not talk to your fellow passengers. Statements like “hello” might be misconstrued to be “Hello, you are my next victim”. Statements like “ Hello, my name is Mohammed”, may be interpreted as “my name is Mohammed and I’m gonna blow up this goddam plane”.

Do not wear large afros that may conceal weapons or bombs.

Do not carry any kind of document , newspaper or book that contains any form of Arabic inscription or writing. You will be detained until a translator can be found.

And finally, do not argue when you are told your luggage is over weight. Apologise profusely and pay double what they ask you for excess luggage.

New Rules of Air travel for Nigerians heading for the United States

Do not ask to be upgraded to first class or business class. Sitting too close to the front of the plane makes the pilot nervous.

When you are getting onto the plane, do not even glance at the cockpit.

Do not go to the toilet for the whole duratifon of your flight.

Do not carry any kind of container into the airport, or onto the plane.

Do not request for a window seat. Do not ask to sit in the aisle. Any request for specific seating may be indications of a premeditated plot.

If you are given food during the flight, ask the flight attendant not to give you cutlery. A Nigerian with sharp implements on a plane is asking to be arrested.

Do keep your hands in plain sight during the flight.

Do not look too happy or too sad.

Do not be too polite to flight attendants.

Do not be aggressive or have aggressive thoughts toward flight attendants

Try not to have any form of carry on luggage. If you do, make sure it contains nothing suspicious or dangerous like pens, pencils, paper,the koran or a calculator, as these are common bomb making materials.

Do not carry any electronic items that may be used to communicate with the Taliban or used for surveillance, like cell phones, iPods, walkmans, electric toothbrushes or cameras.

NEVER travel with your laptop computer as it may be mistaken for a koran.

Never travel if you have any kind of tribal marks. That includes the small marks you have managed to cover with facial hair,

Do not travel to the U.S if you are an engineer, if you have ever lived in London, or if your father is a banker or cattle herder.

Do not talk to other Nigerian's on the same flight as you. It makes other people nervous.

Never admit to your fellow passengers that you are a Nigerian. If asked, say you are from the Republic of Zamunda in East Africa.

Women, do not wear wigs, weaves or hair pieces. Any form of disguise is suspicious,

Take a cold shower before coming to the airport. Sweating and scratching yourself is a sign of nervousness. Why are you nervous?

Do not fart on the plane. Noxious smells might indicate you have bomb making chemicals hidden in your underpants.

Do not go home with the free magazines in the plane. Yes, it says “ free”, but that is just a test. Leave the plane with those magazines and you’ll be arrested.

Wear clean underwear and be ready for a full body/cavity search.

Do not carry any potentially dangerous or toxic substances onto the plane like toothpaste, cough mixture, bottled water, mouthwash, lipstick, chewing gum or baby formula. Make sure your baby’s diapers are empty.

Do not get angry with fellow passengers, for any reason, even if it’s their fault. You will still be arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay.

Do not travel by air into, out of, or across the U.S if you are Muslim.

Muslim is defined as :


Any person with a suspicious name like Mohammed, Fatal, Fatima, Barrack or Ibrahim, or if your last name starts with El-, Al-, or Abdul-.All Nigerian Alhajis, Alhajas, Alfas and Imams are forbidden from entering U.S airspace

Anyone that has ever entered a mosque.

Anyone that knows what a mosque is.

Anyone that dresses in long flowing garments.

Anyone that has a beard.

NOTE: If you converted from Islam to Christianity, you are still classified as Muslim.

Always travel with some kind of proof that you are a Christian, Preferably always travel with your pastor.

Do not attract attention to yourself. Do not drive to the airport in your Mercedes or Honda like a typical Nigerian. Instead, drive an American car like Pontiac or Chevy. You may be mistaken for an American. Or Haitian.

Do not ask to drink soda, tea or coffee in the airport or on the plane. Always ask for alcohol to prove you are not a Muslim.

Do not travel by air in the U.S if you have ever had a parking ticket, extra-marital affair, stolen stationary from your office, or if you have ever exceeded the speed limit. This is a sign of severe subversive terrorist behavior.

Do not travel on or around Christmas day or on September 11th. Avoid travelling on or around Easter, Thanks Giving , Independence day or New year’s Day. Avoid traveling on Muslim holidays. Avoid air travel in the summer or winter. (NOTE: no specific reason, its just to piss you off)

YORUBA People, PLEASE!!! Do not prostrate to greet your elders at the airport. People may think you are dodging bullets or protecting yourself from a bomb blast.

NEVER, EVER carry any kind of Nigerian food onto a US aircraft.

No, do not wear agbadas, head ties, wrappers, danshikis, etc to the airport. It is not recommended. They make you look very un-American, and therefore potentially dangerous.

Do not act like a typical Nigerian for the duration of the flight. This includes speaking any language other than “American English”. Speaking any “funny” language is to be avoided.

If you have elderly parents that do not speak “American”, they should NOT speak for the duration of the flight. If spoken to, their response to anything should be “Yeah man”.

DO not talk to your fellow passengers. Statements like “hello” might be misconstrued to be “Hello, you are my next victim”. Statements like “ Hello, my name is Mohammed”, may be interpreted as “my name is Mohammed and I’m gonna blow up this goddam plane”.

Do not wear large afros that may conceal weapons or bombs.

Do not carry any kind of document , newspaper or book that contains any form of Arabic inscription or writing. You will be detained until a translator can be found.

And finally, do not argue when you are told your luggage is over weight. Apologise profusely and pay double what they ask you for excess luggage.

New Rules of Air travel for Nigerians heading for the United States

Do not ask to be upgraded to first class or business class. Sitting too close to the front of the plane makes the pilot nervous.

When you are getting onto the plane, do not even glance at the cockpit.

Do not go to the toilet for the whole duratifon of your flight.

Do not carry any kind of container into the airport, or onto the plane.

Do not request for a window seat. Do not ask to sit in the aisle. Any request for specific seating may be indications of a premeditated plot.

If you are given food during the flight, ask the flight attendant not to give you cutlery. A Nigerian with sharp implements on a plane is asking to be arrested.

Do keep your hands in plain sight during the flight.

Do not look too happy or too sad.

Do not be too polite to flight attendants.

Do not be aggressive or have aggressive thoughts toward flight attendants

Try not to have any form of carry on luggage. If you do, make sure it contains nothing suspicious or dangerous like pens, pencils, paper,the koran or a calculator, as these are common bomb making materials.

Do not carry any electronic items that may be used to communicate with the Taliban or used for surveillance, like cell phones, iPods, walkmans, electric toothbrushes or cameras.

NEVER travel with your laptop computer as it may be mistaken for a koran.

Never travel if you have any kind of tribal marks. That includes the small marks you have managed to cover with facial hair,

Do not travel to the U.S if you are an engineer, if you have ever lived in London, or if your father is a banker or cattle herder.

Do not talk to other Nigerian's on the same flight as you. It makes other people nervous.

Never admit to your fellow passengers that you are a Nigerian. If asked, say you are from the Republic of Zamunda in East Africa.

Women, do not wear wigs, weaves or hair pieces. Any form of disguise is suspicious,

Take a cold shower before coming to the airport. Sweating and scratching yourself is a sign of nervousness. Why are you nervous?

Do not fart on the plane. Noxious smells might indicate you have bomb making chemicals hidden in your underpants.

Do not go home with the free magazines in the plane. Yes, it says “ free”, but that is just a test. Leave the plane with those magazines and you’ll be arrested.

Wear clean underwear and be ready for a full body/cavity search.

Do not carry any potentially dangerous or toxic substances onto the plane like toothpaste, cough mixture, bottled water, mouthwash, lipstick, chewing gum or baby formula. Make sure your baby’s diapers are empty.

Do not get angry with fellow passengers, for any reason, even if it’s their fault. You will still be arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay.

Do not travel by air into, out of, or across the U.S if you are Muslim.

Muslim is defined as :


Any person with a suspicious name like Mohammed, Fatal, Fatima, Barrack or Ibrahim, or if your last name starts with El-, Al-, or Abdul-.All Nigerian Alhajis, Alhajas, Alfas and Imams are forbidden from entering U.S airspace

Anyone that has ever entered a mosque.

Anyone that knows what a mosque is.

Anyone that dresses in long flowing garments.

Anyone that has a beard.

NOTE: If you converted from Islam to Christianity, you are still classified as Muslim.

Always travel with some kind of proof that you are a Christian, Preferably always travel with your pastor.

Do not attract attention to yourself. Do not drive to the airport in your Mercedes or Honda like a typical Nigerian. Instead, drive an American car like Pontiac or Chevy. You may be mistaken for an American. Or Haitian.

Do not ask to drink soda, tea or coffee in the airport or on the plane. Always ask for alcohol to prove you are not a Muslim.

Do not travel by air in the U.S if you have ever had a parking ticket, extra-marital affair, stolen stationary from your office, or if you have ever exceeded the speed limit. This is a sign of severe subversive terrorist behavior.

Do not travel on or around Christmas day or on September 11th. Avoid travelling on or around Easter, Thanks Giving , Independence day or New year’s Day. Avoid traveling on Muslim holidays. Avoid air travel in the summer or winter. (NOTE: no specific reason, its just to piss you off)

YORUBA People, PLEASE!!! Do not prostrate to greet your elders at the airport. People may think you are dodging bullets or protecting yourself from a bomb blast.

NEVER, EVER carry any kind of Nigerian food onto a US aircraft.

No, do not wear agbadas, head ties, wrappers, danshikis, etc to the airport. It is not recommended. They make you look very un-American, and therefore potentially dangerous.

Do not act like a typical Nigerian for the duration of the flight. This includes speaking any language other than “American English”. Speaking any “funny” language is to be avoided.

If you have elderly parents that do not speak “American”, they should NOT speak for the duration of the flight. If spoken to, their response to anything should be “Yeah man”.

DO not talk to your fellow passengers. Statements like “hello” might be misconstrued to be “Hello, you are my next victim”. Statements like “ Hello, my name is Mohammed”, may be interpreted as “my name is Mohammed and I’m gonna blow up this goddam plane”.

Do not wear large afros that may conceal weapons or bombs.

Do not carry any kind of document , newspaper or book that contains any form of Arabic inscription or writing. You will be detained until a translator can be found.

And finally, do not argue when you are told your luggage is over weight. Apologise profusely and pay double what they ask you for excess luggage.

Being born in the UK makes you a British CITIZEN. However your heritage remains Igbo, Nigerian.

There are 'Millions' of British citizens that have nationalities that are not ENGLISH. (Indians, Jamaicans etc)

If you only had a British passport then your nationality would be British. If your ancestors were always from that land then you would be classed as both British and English.

There are many more British people than English. Being British is common - Being Englsih is rare!

You could never be classed as English as you are not a native and cannot trace your roots in that land.

If you have both passprts then you would have dual nationality. However you could also hold one passport with a 'right of abode' stamp that then classes the passport as one of dual nationality.

To summarise what has been established:

[list]
[li]The hausa-fulani have been mentally enslaved by their leaders for monetary gain.

The koran was used as the 'shackles' used to hold them down mentally and in a state of constant ignorance.

This process as we have seen is ongoing - They are now at the point of rejecting education altogether.

Its because of their ignorance that Nigeria has not developed to the extent it should have done.

Nigeria (excluding the north) has produced some of the best talent in the world.

On the international stage Nigeria is being ridiculed because of what we have allowed to happen to us.[/li]
[li][/li]

Do not go to the toilet for the whole duratifon of your flight.

Do not carry any kind of container into the airport, or onto the plane.

Do not request for a window seat. Do not ask to sit in the aisle. Any request for specific seating may be indications of a premeditated plot.

If you are given food during the flight, ask the flight attendant not to give you cutlery. A Nigerian with sharp implements on a plane is asking to be arrested.

Do keep your hands in plain sight during the flight. Do not look too happy or too sad.

Do not be too polite to flight attendants.

Do not be aggressive or have aggressive thoughts toward flight attendants

Try not to have any form of carry on luggage. If you do, make sure it contains nothing suspicious or dangerous like pens, pencils, paper, or a calculator, as these are common bomb making materials.

Do not carry any electronic items that may be used to communicate with the Taliban ,or used for surveillance, like cell phones, iPods, walkmans, electric toothbrushes or cameras.

NEVER travel with your laptop computer,

Never travel if you have any kind of tribal marks. That includes the small marks you have managed to cover with facial hair,

Do not travel to the U.S if you are an engineer, if you have ever lived in London, or if your father is a banker.

Do not talk to other Nigerian on the same flight as you. It makes other people nervous.

Do not ask to be upgraded to first class or business class. Sitting too close to the front of the plane makes the pilot nervous.

Never admit to your fellow passengers that you are a Nigerian. If asked, say you are from the Republic of Zamunda in East Africa.

When you are getting onto the plane, do not even glance at the cockpit.

Women, do not wear wigs, weaves or hair pieces. Any form of disguise is suspicious,

Take a cold shower before coming to the airport. Sweating and scratching yourself is a sign of nervousness. Why are you nervous?

Do not fart on the plane. Noxious smells might indicate you have bomb making chemicals hidden in your underpants.

Do not go home with the free magazines in the plane. Yes, it says “ free”, but that is just a test. Leave the plane with those magazines and you’ll be arrested.

Wear clean underwear and be ready for a full body/cavity search.

Do not carry any potentially dangerous or toxic substances onto the plane like toothpaste, cough mixture, bottled water, mouthwash, lipstick, chewing gum or baby formula. Make sure your baby’s diapers are empty.

Do not get angry with fellow passengers, for any reason, even if it’s their fault. You will still be arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay.

Do not travel by air into, out of, or across the U.S if you are Muslim.

Muslim is defined as :

Any person with a suspicious name like Mohammed, Fatal, Fatima, Barrack or Ibrahim, or if your last name starts with El-, Al-, or Abdul-.All Nigerian Alhajis, Alhajas, Alfas and Imams are forbidden from entering U.S airspace

Anyone that has ever entered a mosque.

Anyone that knows what a mosque is.

Anyone that dresses in long flowing garments.

Anyone that has a beard.

NOTE: If you converted from Islam to Christianity, you are still classified as Muslim.

Always travel with some kind of proof that you are a Christian, Preferably always travel with your pastor.

Do not attract attention to yourself. Do not drive to the airport in your Mercedes or Honda like a typical Nigerian. Instead, drive an American car like Pontiac or Chevy. You may be mistaken for an American. Or Haitian.

Do not ask to drink soda, tea or coffee in the airport or on the plane. Always ask for alcohol to prove you are not a Muslim.

Do not travel by air in the U.S if you have ever had a parking ticket, extra-marital affair, stolen stationary from your office, or if you have ever exceeded the speed limit. This is a sign of severe subversive terrorist behavior.

Do not travel on or around Christmas day or on September 11th. Avoid travelling on or around Easter, Thanks Giving , Independence day or New year’s Day. Avoid traveling on Muslim holidays. Avoid air travel in the summer or winter. (NOTE: no specific reason, its just to piss you off)

YORUBA People, PLEASE!!! Do not prostrate to greet your elders at the airport. People may thing you are dodging bullets or protecting yourself from a bomb blast.

NEVER, EVER carry any kind of Nigerian food onto a US aircraft.

No, do not wear agbadas, head ties, wrappers, danshikis, etc to the airport. It is not recommended. They make you look very un-American, and therefore potentially dangerous.

Do not act like a typical Nigerian for the duration of the flight. This includes speaking any language other than “American English”. Speaking any “funny” language is to be avoided. If you have elderly parents that do not speak “American”, they should NOT speak for the duration of the flight. If spoken to, their response to anything should be “Yeah man”.

DO not talk to your fellow passengers. Statements like “hello” might be misconstrued to be “Hello, you are my next victim”. Statements like “ Hello, my name is Mohammed”, may be interpreted as “my name is Mohammed and I’m gonna blow up this goddam plane”.

Do not wear large afros that may conceal weapons or bombs.

Do not carry any kind of document , newspaper or book that contains any form of Arabic inscription or writing. You will be detained until a translator can be found.

Do not argue when you are told your luggage is over weight. Apologise profusely and pay double what they ask you for excess luggage.

New Rules of Air travel for Nigerians heading for the United  States

[list]
[li]Do not go to the toilet for the  whole duratifon of your flight.

Do not carry any kind of  container into the airport, or onto the plane.

Do not request for a window seat.  Do not ask to sit in the aisle. Any request for specific seating may be  indications of a premeditated plot.

If you are given food during the  flight, ask the flight attendant not to give you cutlery.  A Nigerian  with sharp implements on a plane is asking to be arrested.

Do keep your hands in plain sight  during the flight. Do not look too happy or too sad.

Do not be too polite to flight  attendants.

Do not be aggressive or have  aggressive thoughts toward flight attendants

Try not to have any form of carry  on luggage. If you do, make sure it contains nothing suspicious or dangerous  like pens, pencils, paper, or a calculator, as these are common bomb making  materials.

Do not carry any electronic items  that may be used to communicate with the Taliban ,or used for surveillance, like  cell phones, iPods, walkmans, electric toothbrushes or cameras.

NEVER  travel with your laptop computer, 

Never travel if you have any kind of tribal marks. That  includes the small marks you have managed to cover with facial hair, 

Do not travel to the U.S if you are an engineer, if you have  ever lived in London, or if your father is a banker.

Do not talk to other Nigerian on the same flight as you. It  makes other people nervous.

Do not ask to be upgraded to first class or business class.  Sitting too close to the front of the plane makes the pilot nervous.

Never admit to your fellow passengers that you are a Nigerian.  If asked, say you are from the Republic of Zamunda in East Africa.

When you are getting onto the plane, do not even glance at  the cockpit.

Women, do not wear wigs, weaves or hair pieces. Any form of  disguise is suspicious, 

Take a cold shower before coming to the airport. Sweating  and scratching yourself is a sign of nervousness. Why are you nervous?

Do not fart on the plane. Noxious smells might indicate you  have bomb making chemicals hidden in your underpants.

Do not go home with the free magazines in the plane. Yes, it says  “ free”, but that is just a test. Leave the plane with those magazines and you’ll  be arrested.

Wear clean underwear and be ready for a full body/cavity  search.

Do not  carry any potentially dangerous or toxic substances onto the plane like  toothpaste, cough mixture, bottled water, mouthwash, lipstick, chewing  gum or baby formula.  Make sure  your baby’s diapers are empty.

Do not get angry with fellow passengers, for any reason,  even if it’s their fault. You will still be arrested and sent to Guantanamo  Bay.

Do not travel by air into, out of, or across the U.S if you  are Muslim. [/li]
[li][/li]
[/list]
Muslim is defined as  :

[list]
[li]Any person with a suspicious name  like Mohammed, Fatal, Fatima, Barrack or Ibrahim, or if your last name starts  with El-, Al-, or Abdul-.All Nigerian  Alhajis, Alhajas, Alfas and Imams are forbidden from entering U.S  airspace

Anyone that has ever entered a  mosque.

Anyone that knows what a mosque  is.

Anyone that dresses in long  flowing garments.

Anyone that has a  beard.

NOTE: If you  converted from Islam to Christianity, you are still classified as  Muslim.

Always travel with some kind of  proof that you are a Christian,  Preferably always travel with your pastor.

Do not attract attention to  yourself. Do not drive to the airport in your Mercedes or Honda like a typical  Nigerian. Instead, drive an American car like Pontiac or Chevy. You may be  mistaken for an American. Or Haitian.

Do not ask to drink soda, tea or  coffee in the airport or on the plane. Always ask for alcohol to prove you are  not a Muslim.

Do not travel by air in the U.S  if you have ever had a parking ticket, extra-marital affair, stolen stationary  from your office, or if you have ever exceeded the speed limit. This is a sign  of severe subversive terrorist behavior.

Do not travel on or  around Christmas day or on September 11th. Avoid travelling on  or around Easter, Thanks Giving , Independence day or New year’s Day. Avoid  traveling on Muslim holidays. Avoid air travel in the summer or winter. (NOTE:  no specific reason, its just to piss you off)

YORUBA People, PLEASE!!! Do not  prostrate to greet your elders at the airport. People may  thing you  are dodging bullets or protecting yourself from a bomb blast.

NEVER, EVER carry any kind of  Nigerian food onto a US aircraft.

No, do not wear agbadas, head ties,  wrappers, danshikis, etc to the airport. It is not recommended. They make you look  very un-American, and therefore potentially dangerous.

Do not act like a typical Nigerian for the duration of  the flight. This includes speaking any language other than “American  English”. Speaking any “funny”  language is to be avoided. If you have elderly parents that do not speak  “American”, they should NOT speak for  the duration of the flight. If spoken to, their response to anything should be  “Yeah man”.

DO not talk to your fellow passengers. Statements like  “hello” might be misconstrued to be   “Hello, you are my next victim”. Statements like “ Hello, my name is  Mohammed”, may be interpreted as “my name is Mohammed and I’m gonna blow up this  goddam  plane”.

Do not wear large  afros that may conceal weapons or bombs.

Do not carry any  kind of document , newspaper or book that contains any form of Arabic  inscription or writing. You will be detained until a translator can be  found.

Do not argue when  you are told your luggage is over weight. Apologise profusely and pay double  what they ask you for excess luggage. [/li]
[li][/li]
[/list]

Here is a reason:

[list]
[li]Because those in government have deceived and failed us - as you also seem to be doing.

We have been ruled by a bunch of incompetents for quite some time - and we are frustrated.

The North have rightfully attracted a lot of condemnation - appropriately because of their ignorance, barbaric religion and deceiptfulness.[/li]
[li][/li]
[/list]

History is repeating itself, WAR IS INEVITABLE!

Whoever is not prepared for this eventuality is likely to pay with their lives.

One Nigeria has failed, Its time for us to wake up and smell the coffee.

The lady clearly has talents, Even if she is found guilty her talents should be utilised for the betterment of naija from her cell,