₦airaland Forum

Dcaliphate:
We don't have right thinking leaders bro. We have greedy people just like Tinubu who hates his people with demonic passion.
Whatever will make living cheaper they don't want it, they'll rather favour foreign western policies at the detriment of their people.

Sagefromtheeast:
This is a frontpage-worthy topic.
Because dollar-dependent import don kill us finish for hear

Nlfpms should please do the needful here, let's investigate this subject


Okay here we are!
FTC
Whatever benefits that accrue should be sent to my opay account.
T for Thanks

Dottore:
There's nothing wrong. You get value for your money and most are in pristine condition Because they don't export Savage cars.
Their cars are also usually low mileage because distant Travel by road is not common in China as they have the best and largest rail network in the world. Their domestic flights are also very affordable.
The sweetest part is that you can order and pay for both shipping with Naira while lying down on your bed.

CodeTemplarr:
right han or left hand?

Sagefromtheeast:
No I don't.
I wish I did...

Sagefromtheeast:
No I don't.
I wish I did...

Kobojunkie:
Just so you know, I wasn't trying to shatter you with my comments. Just felt you may need to begin thinking outside of the box that has been relationships for you.

You had mentioned that you are an introvert, and I don't know if you are by personality or by trauma. Regardless, something of that may explain why you keep going after a certain type of woman. I don't know, but I think maybe sitting in a therapist's chair for a time might help you get a handle on what it is you truly understand and want in a relationship, and how you may need to change up on how you seek out partners in the future.

Nazgul:
I read through your post and I see people saying you're nice. Your problem isn't about you being nice - you clearly lack standards.

When you date a girl without having your own standards which you expect her to meet and keep up with, belive me you'll always be at the receiving end of any relationship you find yourself in.

I want you to picture a relationship like raising a young child. Regardless of how much you love that child, you must adhere to certain standards and refuse him or her certain requests.

If you appear soft and weak, that child wouldn't respect you even if you bring out a cane, he'll know you can't use it. That's how women are.

Show them love but be firm, if she comes to your house to make calls to another guy, walk her out and lock your door. If she doesn't call to apologize let her go, don't go calling and begging. If she calls let her know clearly that you don't care what she does being your back but if she's in your presence she should accord you some respect.

If she asks you for money after telling you she has a boyfriend, tell her to ask her boyfriend. Infact tell her that you're with her for friendship not babysitting. And if she's expecting you to pay her for being friends with her, she can go.

Don't be afraid to tell her your raw thoughts. Women love crazy guys. Just tell her any nonsense that comes into your head if she asks you for money.

Once a woman's eyes starts going towards your wallet, remove every iota of love you have for her from your heart. Cos what you two are playing is a game. She wants money and more of your money, and you want to bed her. Cheating, lying, cunning, dishonesty...etc is allowed. The smartest party wins the game.

You said you found a 20 year old girl who truly wants to build something with you, take your time with her and don't be weak. Just set your standards or else she'll treat you like how your exes treated you.

NotOfThisWorld:
A 40-year old man is too old for a 20-year old girl. A healthy age gap is no more than 8-years. It definitely should not be 20-years. To call a spade a spade, he's a pervert and should find someone closer to his age. She, on the other hand, should date someone her own age and preferably no older than 25, someone she can go through life with and grow old together with. A 40-year old man is way too old for her. If she's considering it, then I'll assume she's poor or from a poor home and the man is rich, otherwise if her family is well-to-do, they themselves would reject such for their daughter. Nigerian politician's kids who get married, do you see them marrying people 20-years older than them? Of course not. They always go for their age mates or those close to their age, not someone old enough to be their father or mother.

Kobojunkie:
1. You wrote the following, didn't you?
Are you wanting us to believe that you don't have this expectation, but just wrote it in or something? 😏

2. Well, yeah! Your OP states that the 20-year-old made an impression on you by that act of helping you clean up and stuff.

3. From what you typed up, I got a friends-with-benefits— not-a-girlfriend/fiance —vibe from your description of both the 24 and 27-year-old girls, though. Even the 20-year-old seems to be in it with you for the benefits, and not much else. I don't think a friend-with-benefit would go that far as to care much about you when you are sick though.

4. Again, friends-with-benefit and not girlfriends or fiancés! If you want a give-and-take relationship, you could start by toning down a lot more on the Santa Claus vibes unless you are into girls who depend a whole lot on you, financially and stuff.

As for why you keep going for mostly emotionally unavailable women(at least to you), maybe you should also try to visit a professional mental health therapist. It could help you understand why you continue to do that.

Sagefromtheeast:
This is a frontpage-worthy topic.
Because dollar-dependent import don kill us finish for hear

Nlfpms should please do the needful here, let's investigate this subject

ishayaauta:
the challenge is not getting it, what happens to spear parts availability, I fancy a lot of American brands, but omo! kazeem go use you see weyting no good at all

Kobojunkie:
it seems you have had lots of friends -with-benefits relationships which you confused with the typical committed relationship between man and woman. Reading through your writeup, I kept wondering if you even understand much of what a relationship really should be about. But then, that is me..

By the way, color me shocked that in 2025, there are still men out there who think a woman is to come in to cook and clean them. If a wife-appliance is what you are looking for then a wife-appliance is what you should get, just be sure not to come complaining when she gets sick and tired of living like a robot and decides it is time to take her leave of you, and possibly with all she can make away with then too.

It may be that the 20-year-old is inf sct ready to be a wife-appliance for you there. Given what you described of her situation, it may be what will work for her for now. Maybe in the future, after developing her self confidence and esteem, she may change her mind though.

RightToReject:
Provided that she's independent-minded, go ahead with her.

I hope that you'll be enlightened enough though, to know the traits of an independent-minded person so that you'll not mistake them for disrespect whenever she exhibits them.

Also, I hope that you'll be enlightened enough, too, to differentiate an independent-minded woman from a stubborn woman and do well to avoid the latter so that you won't become either an abuser or abused in the union, depending on the strength of your grit and ethical leanings in general.

hatozeck:
This just highlights the fact that being nice never works with women and even if it does, in the long run, you'll end up with lots of see finish.

Back to your question op, the age gap isn't an issue at all. I understand the emotional and psychological toll it's having on you and I'll admit that I might struggle with that a bit myself but you have to look beyond the age and see the girl as someone who's mature enough to understand the basic things that keeps a relationship. That's a keeper especially in these days where it's so hard to find a girl like that.

Maturity is in the mind and it's mostly shaped or influenced by our upbringing. The girl is already showing signs of good upbringing and she's also at the age where it's easy for her to learn.

I'll say take your time to know her and be sure she isn't pretending, but ensure to always do right by her. Maybe this is nature or God (if you're a believer) rewarding for all the bad experiences you've had with women.

labake1:
Follow your heart
Age is just a number
Getting someone who gives you peace is rare o
You are just talking about ladies even some men no well

Of course, I’m fully aware of my gender too 😄.

The lady I met in February shared some things about her relationships — both her previous one, which lasted five years, and her current one — that most women wouldn’t normally reveal. I believe she senses that she might be wasting her time in her current relationship. When we first started talking, I asked her when she planned to get married, and her response was, “I don’t know.”

Normally, I don’t ask such personal questions, but since she had asked me about mine, I felt it was fair to ask her as well.

One thing is clear: if she were truly secure in that relationship, she wouldn’t be reaching out to me for money for food. I only sent it because she had earlier mentioned she wasn’t feeling well, and I thought she might need it for medication. Still, I struggled internally before sending it, asking myself, Why isn’t she asking her boyfriend instead? Why me? Beyond that, there were other signs that things weren’t right. So when she eventually admitted that they were having issues, it didn’t surprise me — it only confirmed what I had already suspected.

I even told her to delete my number and photos from her devices before I blocked her. But she didn’t block me or delete my contact. Instead, she sent a long SMS trying to explain things I never asked her to explain.

I won’t lie — we bonded deeply and really connected. But it became clear she was emotionally tied to her current relationship and didn’t know how to leave without feeling guilty. I also didn’t want to be someone’s backup plan. From past experience, I could see the signs that things could eventually get messy between us if I stuck around. That’s why I made the decision to help her — by walking away from the situation.

Juliearth:
I know you've had a couple of bad experiences, but they should not push you into a hasty decision in life.

Dating a woman you are 20 years older than, infact a 20 year old might be counterproductive. You seem not to have noticed the pattern in the few women you have had an encounter with. They all are in their explorative stage. They are may be ready for marriage, but believe they can settle for the best, so their current love interest is treated shabbily because there is a best man out there.


The situation with your 20 year old would be worst because she is still in her homegirl stage, a stage preceding the aforementioned stage. She is just starting life and chances are that you may suffer worst fate with her.


My advise for you is to slow down a bit. I know you are worried about being 40, but remember that age is just a number. It is better to marry late and be fulfilled than to rush in with a chameleon who would change colours later in life.


Spread your tentacles to get more options: Church/mosque/shrine(lol), work place, market, neighbourhood, social media...


All the best!

Safyqueen:
APC is dead in the north. Kwankwoso is not joining either from his yesterday outburst against the party.

havilla:
Such age gap is always an advantage for the man but a disadvantage to the girl/lady

If I were someone who takes advantage of people, I wouldn’t be concerned about the age gap. That’s also why I spoke to her about it. She even pointed me to other women who had done something similar in the past — and she was right.

I had to ask her if she was willing to learn and grow beyond just her secondary school education, and she said she was.

Still, I can’t shake this feeling of awkwardness.

As for the one who was still fooling around with her "bestie", unable to draw a clear line between being in a relationship and having a male friend she called her best friend, I had actually planned to support her in going back to get her nursing degree. But it became clear that she wasn’t ready to take life seriously, so I gave her the freedom she wanted. I can tell the regret is eating her up; that’s probably why she quickly likes any video I upload on TikTok.

I haven’t replied to her last message since October, and I’ve deleted her number and everything related to her. The last thing I want is a woman who would disrespect me or one who would make me raise my voice. I don’t want that in my life.

Nobody is perfect, myself included, but I treat people with dignity and respect, the same way I’d want to be treated.

mecuries:
Osimhen has too much baggage... Hardly any top team would take a look at him

StPete:
People will always paint themselves good and saints until you get to meet them in person. I don’t believe the OP is exactly what he portrays.

In any case, don’t be unwise when u love. If you don’t fork a girl you’re in a relationship with, she will NEVER rate you

columbus007:
Bros naso you good how far? My sisters dey ooo, come check them out 😊.

Good morning, everyone.

I’d like to share something that has been on my mind. Honestly, I haven’t had the best of luck when it comes to relationships—especially with most Nigerian ladies I’ve encountered. I’ll take part of the blame. Being an introvert, I didn’t learn how to properly navigate relationships early on. I thought being nice alone was enough, but I’ve learned that it’s not.

For example, I was supposed to marry a lady last year. I gave her a lot—often without her needing to ask. Despite that, she constantly disrespected me over her male friend she referred to as her "bestie." She repeatedly posted pictures of outings with him.

We had actually broken up earlier, in 2020, when she suddenly started acting cold and told me she was no longer interested—even after my elder brother and a friend spoke to her. Still, she asked me for money to buy a baking oven, and I sent it. That same oven today would cost nothing less than ₦600,000 in Nigeria’s current economy.

Around that same time, she started posting about another guy and even wrote a long epistle on her WhatsApp status about how they met and how he "understands her." I read it but said nothing.

Eventually, I moved on. But in 2023, she reached out asking about my birthday. I told her I don’t celebrate birthdays, but I asked if she wanted to get me something. She said she would, and later sent me a cake she baked herself. I wasn’t home, so my friend and neighbor ended up eating it. I assumed maybe she wanted to reconcile, so I gave her that chance. But then she started referring to the same male friend from 2020 again as her bestie. I knew something was off.

I asked her to give the guy space, to let him find his own woman. She didn’t stop. She posted about him again, which made it clear to me that she didn’t rate me at all. I finally told her to stay away from me after she yelled at me via voice note when I called her out about one of her posts. This was after I had done even more for her than I did in 2020—bought her a laptop, a generator, sent her money without her asking, and even introduced her to my aunt.

I walked away, but she kept liking every video I posted on TikTok. She’s 29 now. And just to add: I never had sex with her.

Then I met a 24-year-old lady whose only mission seemed to be to take, take, take. She never gave anything in return. She visited my house a few times, never offered to cook or ask if I was okay—she just came, talked, and left. Or she’d suggest outings, anything that would make me spend. She even asked for money to "make herself up" whenever I invited her over. I had to draw the line and told her I wouldn’t continue, because it was obvious she was just taking advantage of my kindness.

Next came a 27-year-old I met this February. She mentioned having a boyfriend—even though I hadn’t asked her out—but she didn’t hesitate to ask me for money to buy food. I sent it. She then started coming to me about different health issues—not her supposed boyfriend. Eventually, I told her we should visit a hospital for a proper check-up, which we did. She stayed in touch afterwards and would even initiate most of our conversations from February to March. She had added me on WhatsApp herself and began asking intimate questions like "Do you live alone?"

She gradually drew me closer—confiding in me about her relationship, telling me she and her boyfriend were having issues. But soon, she began to pull away, as if to act like she hadn't led me on. I realized she was probably trying to keep me as a backup option because she wasn’t sure about her current guy. She did something that really crossed the line, so I told her to delete my number and photo, and I blocked her. She later sent me a long SMS trying to explain and fix things, but I never responded.

None of these ladies—not even the ones I didn’t mention—have ever genuinely asked about my well-being or offered help in any form. But I’ve always been the one giving, no matter how small.

Now, I’ve met someone new. She’s 20 years old. The day she visited my home, she cleaned and tidied up everything—her presence was felt even in her absence. She has told me she’s serious about marriage if the opportunity arises. But I’m concerned about the age gap between us. Her parents are late, and she only completed secondary school. Even though she says she’s okay with the age difference and points out that other women marry young, I still feel awkward about it. Is the age gap really a problem in this case?

My worry is this: based on my experience, I don’t think I’ll meet an older woman who would genuinely do what a loving partner should do. I’m extremely kind—even to people I’ve never met in person. But I’ve noticed that older women often misinterpret my kindness as weakness. There’s even someone I didn’t include earlier whom I had to confront. I told her that because I had gifted her a few times without meeting her does not mean I am a fool—because I had loaned a man I had never met ₦500,000 at that time.

Thanks for reading. I’d really appreciate your insights.

Kobojunkie:
It is about marriage, you say, and it was said by YHWH, God of Israel, to the people of Israel who He gave statutes allowing divorce for those of them who wanted it. So, tell us exactly what aspect of it has to do with Nigerians, particularly those living in the year 2025?