₦airaland Forum

Hy, I need you to build a power point presentation for my business. hope u r in lagos

ok... Feed us more.

A group of Nigerian husbands gathered at a
conference on, "How to live in a loving relationship
with your wife".

The men were asked, "How many of you love your
wife ?"
All the men raised their hands. Then they were
asked, "When was the last time you told your wife
you loved her ?" Some men answered today, some
yesterday, majority didn’t remember.
The men were then told to take their cell phones
and send the following text to their respective wife:
"I love you, sweetheart".

Then, the men were asked to exchange phones, so
each of them can read the other wife's response to
the love message..
Here are some of the replies:
1. Have you impregnated someone again.
2. That was then, not now.
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you this
time!
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming!
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually
for, you will die today!
9. You this man! I asked you to stop drinking!
10. Abeg na who be this?

Enjoy your day my people.
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Trending in Nigeria...
In An Effort To Determine The Top Crime Agency In
Nigeria.
The President Narrowed The Field To Three
Finalist: The SSS, The Army & The Nigerian Police
Force.
The Three Contenders Were Given The Task Of
Catching A Rabbit Which Was Released In The
Forest.
The SSS Went Into The Forest, Placed Animal
Informants Throughout The Whole Forest. They
Questioned All Plant & Mineral Witnesses. After 3
good Months Of Extensive Investigation, They
Concluded That The Rabbit Don't Exist.
The Army Went Into The Forest. After 3 Weeks
Without No Capture, They Burnt The Whole Forest
Killing Everything In It Including The Rabbit. They
Made No Apologies. The Rabbit Deserved It.
The Nigerian Police Went Into The Forest. They
Came Out Just After 2 Hours Later With A Badly
Beaten Bear. The Bear Was Yelling "Okay,Okay... I
Agree, I'm A Rabbit, I'm A Rabbit.
# lmao

FACTS ABOUT AFRICA

1. The Gambia has only one university.
2. Equatorial Guinea is Africa’s only spanish
speaking country.
3. South Africa is the most visited African country.
4. Nigeria has the richest Black people in Africa.
5. Samuel Eto’o is the highest paid Footballer of all
time, he received about £350,000 weekly in Russia
in 2011.
6. A person from Botswana is called a Motswana,
the plural is Batswana.
7. A person from Lesotho is called a Mosotho.
8. A person from Niger is called a Nigerien.
8. A person from Burkina Faso is called a Burkinabe.
9. Nigeria has won more football cups than
England.
10. Zimbabwe’s President, Robert Gabriel Mugabe
is the world’s most educated President with 7
degrees, two of them are Masters.
11. Al-Ahly of Egypt is the richest club in Africa.
12. Didier Drogba is Chelsea’s highest goalscorer
in European competition.
13. Johannesburg, South Africa is the most visited
city in Africa.
14. Zinedine Zidane wanted to play for Àlgeria, but
the selector rejected him, saying they are already
many players like him in the team.
15. President Jacob Zuma was given a special
award by Fifa for refereeing on Robben Island
during his years as a political prisoner.
16. President Robert Mugabe was jailed for 11
years for fighting for freedom.
17. President Robert Mugabe is Africa’s oldest
Head of State and the world’s second oldest Head
of State. He was born in 1924.
18. The Seychelles are the most educated Africans.
Seychelles’ literacy rates (Adult: 92%, Youth: 99%)
Zimbabwe is 2nd (Adult:
91.2%,Youth: 99%).
19. Rwanda is a better country for gender equality
than England and USA.
20. Somalia got its first ATM on October 7, 2014.
21. South Africa has the most Grammy award
winners in Africa.
22. Ethiopia has the most airports in Africa.
23. Ethiopia’s economy is growing faster than
China’s.
24. Eritrea’s President, Isaias Afwerki is the least
richest President in Africa.
25. Ethiopia is Africa’s oldest independent country,
it has existed for over 3,000 years without being
colonised.
26. Haile Selassie 1 was the 225th and last
Emperor of Ethiopia.
27. Nigeria has the most monarchs in the world.
28. Angola has more Portuguese speakers than
Portugal.
29. President Jose Eduardo Dos Santos has ruled
Angola since 1979.
30. President Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo is
Africa’s longest serving Head of State. He has
ruled Equatorial Guinea since August 3, 1979 when
he overthrew his uncle, Francisco Nguema. His
son, Teodoro Nguema Obiang Mangue is his Vice
President and will succeed him if he resigns.
31. George Weah of Liberia is the first man to win
World, European and African footballer of the year
in the same year.
32. Swaziland is the only remaining absolute
mornach in the world.
33. The Gambia is the smallest country in Africa
followed by Swaziland.
34. King Sobhuza ll of Swaziland took the longest
time in reigning Swaziland, 62 years as he was
crowned in 1921 and died in August 1982 at the
age of 83 years.
34.1. King Sobhuza II of swaziland, married 70
wives, who gave him 210 children between 1920
and 1970.
35. Zimbabwe is the only country in the world
were almost everyone was a billionaire at one
point

You can supplying more facts so we would all learn. Thanks.

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HOW TO CATCH A THIEF 101 By Tonytizzle

The American police style:
Allow the thief catch you, then you catch the thief

The China police style:
chase the thief till he gets tired, then you catch him

The Arab police style:
kidnap the thief's wife,and threaten the thief to surrender

The Indian police style:
Allow a pretty damsel sing for him 2 lure him closer, then you catch him

The Naija police style:
Catch any person on the street, beat him until he
agrees he is a Thief!
True Or False?

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WICKED CHICKENS
Just because there is festivity
no chicken comes around my area
did they think I am such a bad man?
did they ask what happened to their neighbours?
I am a good man... I am a friend of the chickens
I don't take them to the kitchens... in fact I am a
vegetarians hey are free to walk around but they have to guarantee their freedom of movement —

The day I wrote this, my mood was as disorganized
as the words. I hope you get the msg. Drop your
corrections #winks.

LITTLE THINGS THAT COUNT BUT MEANS VAL:

Little "I'm sorry's" that make you feel valued
Little "thank you's" that warm the heart
Little gestures that make you feel involved
Little hugs that make you feel loved
Little occurrences that become the ice breaker.
Little people that change your mind set for good
Little gatherings that improve your views
Little associations that make the difference
Little fellowships that boost your moral.

All things bright and beautiful
Or so it seems
All feelings big and magnified
Only for a while
And how the ''little's" turns to "nothing", no one
knows...But that little love's should go round.

heal the world with your love

Peace and love
best gifts the world can get

any heart that ever broke
any eyes that tears

val a time to heal
val a chance to think love
val a moment to show love
val the point is, we need need love

You are all my val
A special way to say I love y'll
be you good or otherwise.
its a small world.

the beauty, it comes right back.
seed of love
harvest never ends.
this love, this val is universal language.

WHEN u Love ...

something about love
something really magical
something not explainable....

because u love tthem
they are so beautiful
they are so flawless
they are so dependable

good to love
good to have these vibes
good to savour d life we live
life wirhout love is frustration

I need a val!
Will you be mine?

VALENTINE? YOU ARE INVITED!

Valentine
some say it is celebration
celebration of love shared
celebration of life of love
celebration of love of live.

Some care not for Valentine
some define it differently
what business do I have with them?
I define Valentine for love celebration.

Now the season comes again
season to celebrate love
season to give love a toast
season to celebrate our smiles
season to celebrate our togetherness
season to celebrate just ourselves!

My hands reach out
let yours also reach out
let our hands touch themselves
let the warmth electrically transfer
let the binding force glue us from now
let no heat separate us ever after.......

Valentine
I look at you
I think of you
would you consider
to be my Valentine?