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Episode 6
(No water)

(Very early in morning, the third day, Emeka could be seen sprawled on the bed, sleeping soundly before Segun spank him on his butt)

Segun: Bros wake up, wake up. Ahn which kain sleep be this one (staring at emeka as he yawns loudly)

Emeka: (yawning loudly) haaaa, ooohhoh, why are you waking me up now (he mumbled)

Segun: You better stand up now, remember that you are starting lectures today

Emeka: (getting up, and rubbing his eyes) Jesus, what time is it

Segun: It 5:30, and I believe your lecture will start by 8:00, so hurry up we have about 2hrs and 30mins to prepare and head to school

Emeka: (getting on his feet) where is james and Douglas

Segun: They left already

Emeka: ahnaha so early

Segun: (scoffs) do you think this place is your village, oo, this is Lagos o, shine your eye. Their wicked lecturer fixed his lecture time at 7:00, so they need to leave early, because they will still have to trek to school

Emeka: ok….Let me….but wait oo, there is no more water, how are we gonna take our bath

Segun: Mtcheeww, leave that one to me, I have planned my stealing this morning

Emeka: Stealing, what do you plan to steal?

Segun: Emeka, just head to the bathroom, I will meet you there (he whispered and left the room)
Emeka: hmmmph, strange
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*At the bathroom*
(Emeka sighted Segun coming towards the bathroom with two big buckets of water. Where could he have gotten much water, he thought, because the last time he checked, there was only a small bucket of water remaining, which is for drinking)

Emeka: Ahnahn segun, where did you get this water (he asked as segun got closer)

Segun: woo, just enter the bathroom, stop asking questions…let’s take our bath fast before other tenants will start coming

Emeka: ok oo, but this water is a bit cold oo, this one that harmattan has started like this, can’t we warm the water first

Segun: E be like say you don drink, o boy enter bathroom joor, bath with it like that

Emeka: oh Jesus (he whined) Emeka don suffer

(After their bath, they ready up and headed for school, returning the empty buckets. Segun still refused to tell Emeka about where he got the water from. He told him that the answer will reveal itself when they are back)
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*That Same Morning*

Landlady: somebody will die in this compound today oo, somebody will die ooo ehhn (She shouted, as other tenants came closer to ask what the problem is)
Baby Sussi: Ahnan Landlady, why you are shouting now….what is it

Landlady: hey,,you say I am shouting abi, ok oo, don’t worry, when somebody die in this house, you will now know

Mallam: (coming out from his quarters) Good morning oo baby Sussi

Baby Sussi: morning oo Mallam the Mallam

Mallam: Ahn wetin happen na, iya Landlady, what is the matter

Landlady: heei heiei, Oga landlord, come and see oo, come and see what your stupid tenants are doing oo

Baby Sussi: Who is stupid ehn, who is stupid, abeg stop that thing joor…wetin happen you no won talk, now you say we are stupid, mtchewww ( She hissed)

Oga landlord: (coming out from the his room) What is it my darling wife, why are you shouting this morning in the early

Landlady: Ekaro oo Oko mi (Good morning my husband) hiiee, shey you remember the water that I told Sanda to fetch yesterday (Landlord nodded)

Baby sussi: Her name is Sandra, not sanda, ahnan, no spoil pesin name

Landlord: Gbe enu e soun jare, omo komo (shut up) You that is studying English, and you cannot speak it well. Instead of you to be in the school at lecture time, you will be following men kaakiri (Everywhere) stupid fool

Baby Sussi: Oga landlord, don’t insult me oo, can your wife here speak English reach me…

Mallam: Baby sussi, cool down okay…me ehn I swear welle welle, that you are the best englishian in the world, just wait let us hear what Landlady want to say

Landlady: hmm as I was saying before this ashawo (prostitute) distracted me
(Baby sussi glared hard at her, while Mallam warned her not to react)

Landlady: So the water that Sandra fetched for me yesterday, the water that I want to use to baff those my sister children, they have taken the water oo….

Landlord: Wait, are you saying that you cannot find the water again

Landlady: This is the bucket na, look at it , they have come and turn it away, ahh

Landlord: Haaa, so somebody still steal my wife water in this house, now that water is scarce like this…you is that idiot that perform that rusticated act

Baby Sussi & Mallam: Ehhh ehwoo( putting their hands on their head)See English
Landlord: My darling wife (he called, facing her)
Landlady: Sirrr

Landlord: Don’t worry, I know what to do, you see that thief that use to steal water in this house, we go catch erm, don’t cry okay. Manage the water that is in that drum, I will send Wasiu to go buy some water at Alhaji house

Landlady: (Nodding) ok oo, let me go and make your food
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Baby Sussi: Mtcheewww, stupid woman (she muttered as they went inside)

Baby sussi: (talking to herself) I wonder what that oga landlord see in that useless woman body, fine o she no fine, she can’t even cook well, she is not even good in bed sef, and oga landlord allowed her to insult me…mtcheww,ok na, I will make sure I starve him in this compound

(Sighting Chioma as she heads out of her room, looking graciously dress, with a pink off shoulder top, blue jean and white snickers. She wondered how she suddenly gets the money to buy all this. Chioma that use to come beg for maggi and pepper from her before, what caused the sudden change, she thought)

Baby Sussi: Chioma, wait for me…ahnan.. you are looking Stanley oo (Putting her hands on her waist, gazing at chioma from head to toe)

Chioma: Stanley

Baby sussi: Mtcheww, don’t mind me jare, I mean you are looking….erm..you know now…fine and shinning, wetin you dey chop now

Chioma: (Flipping her hair to the back of her ear, smiling) Oh you mean I’m looking pretty, well its God’s grace oo

Baby Sussi: Ehn, ahn, this god’s grace dey work well for you oo, ahn ahn Chioma chioma, baby (She praised)

Chioma: abi ooo, that’s how we roll, anyway are you heading to school now, cos I’m having lectures by 9:00, and this is just 8: 30, I need to hurry up, cos I don’t wanna be late (She muttered brining out her phone)

Baby Sussi: Ehn, I’m also going to school naw, let’s go

(They went out of the gate, with Baby sussi’s stares all over Chioma)

Baby Sussi: (thinking deeply) Ehnnehn, ehhiiee, so chioma can now speak big big English with me, look at the way she was even talking…are you going to school now, I don’t wanna be late ermm (Mimicking her) Hmmm, so because she now have one man that is making her look good, she now see me as a leftover. Me that I use to give her cloth before, hmm this life ehnnn, anyway we shall see, I must know the man that is buying all this things for her, she thought)
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To be continued
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Love y'all 💞
Vickie Dora 🌻

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Episode 5
(Landlord Side chick)

(That same day, the three guys could be seen, holding two kegs each, heading towards the public borehole where people fetch water. They decided to let Emeka stay home being a newbie and asked him to prepare porridge yam for breakfast, which they will eat when they are back. He agreed to their wish and they set out on their mission to seek for water)

Douglas: (yawning loudly) Guy, this place is far oo, are you saying that we are going to trek to that public bore hole to fetch water, haa, I don’t think I can go there. Let’s go to Alhaji house and fetch water na

James: Which Alhaji,,,mttchheewww (he hissed)

Segun: So you don’t know that Alhaji will collect money from us before allowing us to fetch water

Douglas: kai,,,,this is bloody wickedness

Segun: who wicked you?

Douglas: Yes naw, how will a whole Douglas like me, be going out to fetch water, all those fine babes will naw be looking at me

James: How is that now our business, let them look naw. Is it not better than drinking that water from that stupid oga landlord well

Douglas: Abi oo, infact I sighted Mallam fetching it this morning, guess what I saw in the water

James & Segun: (what they asked the same time)

Douglas: A very big cockroach, with wing

James: mtchewww, that one is small. I saw a very big rat coming out of it, not to talk of the countless lizard that made it their home

Segun: guys,,,guys,,,guysss,,,,wait wait (he said, dragging them to the corner of a house, and hid behind it)

Douglas: guy what is it naw

Segun: look at that our Lecturer (he said, pointing to a man with bald head and long beards)

James: Ahnahn, is that not baby Sussi with him, are they coming out from that hotel

Segun: guy your eyes is not deceiving you oo

Douglas: she has gone already, let’s continue our journey
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(Back in the compound, Emeka just finished making the porridge, he kept wondering why his cousin and friends are not yet back. He decided to arrange the room and set everything in place before their arrival. While doing that, he heard a knock on the door and decided to open it)

Babay Sussi: (Putting on a bum short and crop top, she smiled immediately he opened the door) Good morning bros

Emeka: (Puzzled) Goo…..d mor..ning, please how can I help you (Returning the smile)

Baby Sussi: hhha, I’m your co-tenant, I come to say hi to you, you know naw as a newbie in this compound. My name is Baby Sussi (She said, and stretch forth her hand for a handshake)

Emeka: ohhh, my bad…I’m sorry, actually my name is Emeka, and nice meeting you Baby Sussi, so…….ermmm (he muttered, not knowing what else to say)

Baby Sussi: Ahnah, let me enter na, this one that you are just standing at the doorpost like this, I want to know more of you so that you know naa,,,ehn,,,so

Emeka: oh sorry, you can come in, just have your sit (he pointed to the chair while he sat in front of her on the bed, and waited for her to speak first)

Baby Sussi: Okk proper introjuction naw

Emeka: W….ait, what did you say?

Baby Sussi: I say introjuction…….you know,,,me I will tell you who I be, and you too will…

Emeka: oh,,,you mean introduction

Baby Sussi: Yess naw, abi you think me I don’t know English…haa..i am a student of English in Unilag

Emeka: oh really,, so you mean you are a student of Unilag, studying English( he asked with a funny expression)

Baby Sussi: yes naw, what of you too

Emeka: oh I’m new here I just got admitted into Unilag too, planning to study Electrical Engineering

Baby Sussi: Woow,,that course is good oo, you will start your practice by fixing our house wire oo. That stupid Oga landlord has removed the wire that is connected to my room

Emeka: haa, so you want me to fix it, but I just want to begin lectures, I don’t know how to fix wires now

Baby Sussi: hanhaan why naw, or are you fear

Emeka: Blood of Zachariah, wait a minute….did you say that you are studying English

Baby Sussi: Yes naw, I studied the course

Emeka: oh that’s nice (nodding his head)

Baby Sussi: Abi naw, so,,,,,lectures have start already ooo, are you gone to school tomorrow

Emeka: No,ooooo, me ,,,gone,,,no dear, I will not gun to school tomorrow,,,,I will bullet to school

Baby Sussi: Bullet ke,,,,,bullet as how…..

Emeka: Just ask google (I mumbled under my breathe)

Baby Sussi: Wetin you talk

Emeka: Nothing oo, just..you know..surprise

Baby Sussi: ok naa, I just came to say hi…see you later in school (she said and left)

Emeka: hmmmm, blood of Zachariah, what sort of English student is this one…hmm, wahala be like wetin again sef, this one pass me ooo (he muttered and decided to dish out his food and eat)
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(The boys got home after a stressful journey, with heavy gallows of water. They put down the loads just at the back of their room, which is close to the boy’s quarters.)

Landlord: (coming out from one of the tenant’s room, he was shocked to see them all but decided to cover up his expression)Ahnahn(adjusting his trousers)where….are you three coming from.

Douglas: as you can see Oga landlord, we went to fetch water
Landlord: ehnn I can see it,,I,,,I am not blind, but why do you want to keep it here, ehn, what about the front of your room

Segun: Oga landlord, do you have any problem with us keeping our gallons of water here, ehnnn

Landlord: Hey, don’t talk to me like that, remember that I am still your landlord

Segun: whatever….

James: But wait oo, oga landlord, why are you coming out from erm…Chioma’s room

Landlord: which..which Chioma(scratching his beards)

Douglas: Oga landlord, don’t lie, we saw you if you don’t know…ahnahn..a whole baba like you

Landlord: shut up there,,,ehen, even if I enter her room, am I not the landlord..i have every right to enter my tenants rooms

Segun: oh,,,,with fallen trousers and loosened belt,,,its okay

Landlord: what do you mean by that, do you want me to park you out of my mysteriously built mansion. Segun, warn yourself oo, and remove your eyes from anything you see me do

James: Erm oga landlord, abeg no vex, let me add to it, you also have every right to spank every girl in this compound, abi no be so (he asked segun and douglas)

Segun & Douglas: Na soooo oooo (they both replied and left laughing mockingly)

Landlord: heiii, those stupid boys have catch me ooo…well…I’m still their landlord, they won’t talk about it sha, mtcheewww stupid children of the nigerian century, let me go and drink my palm wine jare
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To be continued..
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I actually did not know how this site works at first...so I made some mistakes posting chapter one and two. If you couldn't find it..just type water Strike on the search bar and it will bring the first two I had posted.....
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Please drop a comment if you are following
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Love y'all 💞
Vickie Dora 🌻

Episode 4
(Morning fight)

(Early in the morning, the next day, a loud shout could be heard outside, close to their window. A woman could be heard raining curses on someone)

Iya Sade: Useless man, yeye woman wrapper. How dare you ehn, how dare you bring this useless thing to my matrimonial home (She yelled holding his shirt)

Baba Sade: Woman, leave my shirt alone. Are you not also a prostitute, you that went out yesterday, without informing me, your husband? I’m sure those men out there would have serviced you well

Iya Sade: (slapping him hard) how dare you call me a prostitute, useless man

Mallam: Ahn ahn, iya sade, that one too much, why you slap erm for em face na (why did you slap him)

Baba Sade: Ahhh, iya sade, you slap me, you slap me

Iya Sade: (Still folding his shirt) yes and I will do it again and again, if you don’t kick this useless thing out of my sight (pointing at the runs girl in front of her)

Runs girl: Heeiehh, Shut up there, who are you calling useless thing ehn, you this ungrateful woman.
You should be thanking me for rescuing your husband yesterday. All his thing was just up,, like this, and you were not there to satisfy him. He was even begging me to do four rounds with him. And you mister man (looking at Baba sade) pay me money now let me leave, before this mad woman bite my ear

Iya Sade: Ehhiieeee, me, mad woman,,ohoooo you now have mouth to call me a mad woman right, after banging my husband yesterday, you now want to insult me abi, ok,,,I will show you that madness that you want to see

(She re- tied her wrapper, and pounce on the runs girl, blowing her and dragging off her wig as they started a fight)

Mallam: Eeihhee, Iya sade,,no kill erm naa

Baba Sade: Gbe enu e so un jare (shut up) leave them, make dem fight well well. Na we go judge dem (he said, relaxing on a chair, adjusting his turn shirt)

Runs girl: Leave me alone,,,you,,this,,,mad woman,,,I will deal with you,,,,haaahaaaaaa help me ooo, this woman want to kill me ( she screamed, as Iya sade, pour sand into her mouth)

Iya Sade: ohohh, so you can shout abii, let me kill you first, useless prostitute

Mallam: Ehhhh, iya sade go kill pesin oo, make we separate dem naa
Landlord: What is going on here,,,ehn,, this morning in the early, why the noise..ha haa, Iya Sade, you want to kill pesin, in my own house,,haaa, Baba Sade

Baba Sade: oga landlord, good morning in the early ooo (he greeted mockingly)

Landlord: Shut up that smelly mouth there, your wife want to kill pesin in my house and you are looking

Baba sade: Hhaaa, this one is open air wrestling na, you know that I like wrestling very well, come and sit down let us watch. We can now judge after the fight

Landlord: Haa, you have turn my house into wrestling ground, if you kill pesin naa, police go kon arrest me sey wetin I dey look. Mallam??

Mallam: Ofa landlord

Landlord: which one is ofa landlord, I am oga landlord. Now, separate these foolish women

Mallam: ahh ahhh,,,ehii. Uhwetin I talk

Landlord: wetin happen na, separate them

Mallam: landlord,,,,,,,this woman strong pass me ooo (referring to iya sade)

Landlord: So you are telling me that, you are just carrying that big thing under for fancy, you cannot separate these women. Ok na, let me call jemisi(James) Jemisi, jemisi oooooooo (he called heading towards the guys room)

(In the guys room, they sprawl on the bed, sleeping soundly)

James: (forcing his eyes open)Oooooohh, this man again, what does he want this morning (he grumbled and taps Emeka who slept next to him)

Emeka: hmmuhh, what is it (he groan, scratching his eyes as he wakes up)

James: Lie down well

Emeka: Good morning (he yawns) Is that not that man calling you

James: Mtchheww (he hissed) don’t mind him, he is back with his troubles again. Let’s go and find out what he is calling me for

Landlord: Ahnahn, Jemisi, I have been calling you since morning, which kain sleep is that one

James: Good morning Oga landlord, you know that it is still very early now, I was still on bed

Landlord: Still on bed, by this time. 5:30 in the early, when your mate are already hustling, doing jamajama

James: This is weekend now, ok,,enough of that, what do you want

Landlord: Ehneh, Iya Sade want to kill pesin child oo, come and separate them for me

James: Iya sade again, what is it again oo

Landlord: exactly what is in my mind oo, but come and see for yourself

James: but you are a man na, go and separate them na

Landlord: ahhh, meeee, nooo, I am still managing myself oo, that woman is a leopard. You are a strong youth na, your muscle are not for fancy shey

James: okkk, let’s go

Runs girl: (sobbing profusely) Baba sade, can you see what you wife has done to my fine face, can you see it, I will collect my money before going ooo, I will not leave this compound until I collect it

Baba Sade: eheii, sweet bebe (rubbing his tummy, grinning hard) sorry naa, you know that my wife is always like that. Don’t worry just send me you account balance

Runs girl: which account balance, abi you dey craze. I need my money cash, I don’t have account number (she fumes folding her arms)

Baba Sade: wait now,,,ehn, my wife has gone inside and she has lock the door from inside, how do you want me to go and bring it

Runs girl: (holding his shirt) what now concern me, gimme my money oo

Landlord: (arriving the scene) hahann, what is going on here, where is iya sade

Baba Sade: she has gone inside oo, baby leave my shirt now, you are disgracing me (he whispered to her, earning a disgustingly glare)

James: ahnahn, oga landlord, I thought you said iya sade is the one fighting, why am I seeing the opposite

Landlord: this is the girl she was fighting with, young girl, why are you holding his shirt now

Runs girl: hmmm, sir,,this man here came to me yesterday and offered to pay me money for service since his wife could not perform her duty, now he is telling me stories

James: ermm, young lady, what type of service is that

Runs girl: haa, me I’m a runs girl oo, and we did up to six rounds just last night

Landlord, Mallam& James: haaaaaaaaaa (they all shouted)

Mallam: six rounds…haaaa….baba sade,,,,you no try at all ooo, you no try allah

Landlord:: Wetin e no try, you fit do six rounds

Mallam: Allah,, I dey do twelve rounds on the spot,,,ask Baby Sussi naa

James: haaa, mallam, you self don gbense baby Sussi..(he muttered, folding his arms in surprise)

Mallam: ermmm,,,ehnn,, you see..

Landlord: gbe enu e soun jare(shut up), yeye man, you wan lie sey you neva follow em sleep abi

Mallam: no oga landlord, no bi so ooo

Baba Sade: ehn oga landlord, tell this girl to leave my cloth alone

Landlord: you too sef, give her her money naw

Baba Sade: Iya sade has locked the door

James: well I’m out of here, I have work to do. You can go and settle your matter with your wife (he muttered and left, leaving the others to argue on how to solve the money problem)
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To be continued
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Love y'all 💞
Vickie Dora 🌻

Please try drop your comments

Episode 3
(Arrival)
(James banged the door shut immediately they got inside, while the others stare at Emeka like they were good people. Douglas just finished arranging the room, but left some touches undone. James faced emeka)

James: Guy, what was that for
Emeka: What
James: Do you really want to give that bald head man some things you brought from the village?
Emeka: (he scoffs) you heard what he said, he claims to be the landlord, and said it is his right to collect whatsoever I brought with me
James: And how are you sure he is the landlord, what proof do you have? Anyway, let’s leave that apart, how was your journey here, hope it wasn’t stressful
Douglas: Wait what am I hearing, did you give that landlord the thing you brought
Segun: Is that the way to welcome someone that just arrive this wonderful city
Douglas: ok oo, bros, welcome (Emeka nodded)
Douglas: My name is Douglas, the most handsome boy in this room
James: Jesus,,,sss
Segun: Guy you dey mad oo, which kain fine be that one, abegi.. Our dear roommate, you are welcome
Emeka: Ermm, roommate? (he muttered shifting his glance to view the whole room)
James: Yes now
Emeka: Do you mean I will also be sleeping in this same room
James: Yes of course
Emeka: But I wasn’t ex,,,
Douglas: Expecting this,,,yea,,,but you are here now, no going back
(Emeka scoffs, and glare at James who was busy checking the bags he brought with him)
Segun: That is your bed, you will be sleeping with Douglas
Douglas: hey hey wait, and where will you be sleeping
Segun: With James of course
James: Mmbanu , no no no, my cousin will sleep with me on my bed, while the both of you will share this other bed
Douglas & Segun: Whatttt!!!!! God forbid!
James: No be only God go forbid em, devil go also forbid,,,idiot
Douglas: Guy come on nawww, you know that Segun sleeps like a pig, this guy no dey wash armpit (He muttered, staring at Segun)
Segun: You nko, shey you dey wash nash, you wey be sey your nash dey smell like goat piss, na so so spit go dey comot for your mouth, abeg I no follow you sleep again

(Emeka was just laughing all through at the funny comment they make about each other, wonder shall never end. Is this the kind of people he want to spend some years with in this Lagos, he thought)
Douglas: Mtchewwww, guy what did you bring from the village jare, hungry dey fire me for here oo
Emeka: I’m also really hungry here, is there any food I can eat first (he stared at their faces as they gave him no reply, instead they busted into hard laughter)
Emeka: (Frowning) Did I say anything funny
James: They are laughing hungry laugh, this guys can devour you any minute from now, they are damn hungry. But don’t worry, I will get you bread and mineral, so that you can use it to step down. Then they will prepare the rice you brought, that will be our dinner
Emeka: wait wait wait, are you saying that there is nothing like food in this house
Segun: ohoooh, you think you are coming here to meet bread and butter life shey, heeheeheeiii, I laugh in,,,
Douglas: I laugh in my language, yes,,,,,,,
Segun: yes,,,,oga landlord English
Douglas& Segun: hahaaahahah (they both laughed)
James: Mtcheww (he hissed) ignore them, they are both crazy, let me go and buy those stuff
Douglas: wait o, James, so you are even having #500 with you, and you allowed hunger to finish us here since morning
James: I was reserving it for my cousin, at least this is his first time he is visiting the city, we can’t welcome him with hungry stomach na. Douglas, prepare the rice he brought so that we can eat it, I don go oo
(He left immediately, leaving the two to stare at Emeka)
Emeka: (In a confused state) what?
Segun: Bro, if you love yourself, just stand up and cook that food, because the food this mumu here is about to cook, heii, na burnt offering ooo. I wonder where James left his brain, how could he forget easily that Douglas used to burn food
Douglas: That’s a lie
Segun: what is a lie, abegii
Emeka: Anyway, I don’t think I can do that now, I’m stressed out. Getting to Lagos was hectic enough, getting into the kitchen is another stress. I’m already tired if this city wahala (He yawned loudly and slummed on the bed
Douglas: Wait oo, as a first timer in Lagos, tell us your experience why coming here
Segun: Yes sure, you must have encountered one thing or the other
Emeka: Haaa, it’s not one thing ooo (Douglas& Segun nodded, enjoying the story as he explains to them his encounter with the hoodlums, conductor and old man. He ended his narration and they busted into serious laughter)
Emeka: I can’t believe all these happened just in one day, is this city like this
Segun: Yea bro, welcome to Lagos
Douglas: Not just Lagos, welcome to this compound
Segun: Yep
Emeka: Is there anything wrong with this compound (He asked already getting scared)
Douglas: Not really, we got lot of babes here you know
Segun: Guy, we can’t tell you all, just wait and enjoy your adventure here. You are resuming school here right?
Emeka: Yea, Unilag
Douglas& Segun: huahha
Segun: Don’t worry, you will enjoy Lagos
Douglas: But you will never enjoy this compound
Emeka: why, you are making me scared, are there ghost here
Segun: Never mind, just wait and see
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To be continued
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Love y'all 💞
Vickie Dora 🌻

Episode 2

(Wahala)

(Emeka alighted from the bus that brought him to Lagos, the air was a bit smoky as cars and Lorries pass by, raising dust in the dusty road. Lots of litters, piled up in one direction giving a foul smell to the environment. His bags were thrown down from the bus by the Conductor, who didn’t even wait for him to take it himself)

Conductor: Move it, move it, move it. Wetin you still dey look, egbon kuro lona (Bros leave the way)
He said referring to Emeka who casted disgusting glares at him)

Emeka: Bro why you kon throw my bag for ground like that na, wetin happen

Conductor: Hanhann, e ma wo eleyi (Look at this one oo) shey your bag be London ni, abi na billions dey inside, o boy clear way make others pass joor, abi wetin e dey talk

Emeka: Whatever, I’m leaving just give me my change

Conductor: Which change be dat one, e be like sey you wan chop slap

Emeka: But I was supposed to collect change now. I gave you #1000, and you said the bus fare is #700, then my change will be #300

Conductor: ogbeni, that one don go o, e bi like say I don give anoda pesin

Emeka: That’s nonsense, guy I really need my change, do you want me to be stranded

Conductor: Bros no follow me talk English oo, na broken I dey hear (He muttered counting some amount of money and dipping it into his side pocket. He jumped immediately into the bus ready for take off

Conductor: (Hitting the driver’s door) Oya driver,,,we move

Emeka: Wait here, you can’t go away without,.,,,,,

Conductor: ogbeni kuro lona (leave the way) (Pushing Emeka)E be like sey you wan collect, you wan fall pesin ni, baba e( your father)( He cursed, as the car zoomed off)

Emeka: God, what type of problem is this now. Heiii, now I will have to trek to James house ehn. What type of city is this one sef, firstly I was robbed of the little money I had with me by some hoodlums, now this stupid conductor did not give me my change. Mtchewww (He hissed), I’m even hungry now, well I will see something to eat when I get to the house sha,,,(Picking up his bag, he continued his journey)
~~~~~

(After walking about a mile, Emeka stopped by a tree to rest before continuing his journey)

Emeka: haa, haaa, my back (He groan, sitting on a stone under the tree. He dropped his bags beside him) I believe I am close to James house, I think the address is No9 Emmanuel street. But I don’t think I’m close to that street oo, because what I’m seeing here now is i-fe-olu-wa street( He muttered finding it hard to pronounce the inscription written of the sign board close to him) (He sighted an old man coming to rest under the tree, holding a plastic chair. He decided to ask for the way)

Emeka: Oh thank God, Thank God. Ermm,,,,,,baba,,,,sir,,,,Go…od morning sir, I am really sorry sir, but I really need your help. I am new to this city and I really can’t find my way around, so can you help me with this sir (He said bring out the paper of the address. The old man stare at him like a slowpoke, not giving him any reply, as he stares at the paper Emeka gave to him) The address is No 9 Emmanuel Street, please can you direct me to that place sir

(The old man continued to stare at him, not saying anything. Instead he nods his head like an agama lizard and waves his hand into the air)

Old man: eaahhh, wae heeei, ahhh ummn beee vbbee, yee

Emeka: Jesus, so,,,this man is even a deaf and dumb, and I have been wasting my time here explaining things he can’t understand, Gosh what’s all this. Ok baba, please give me back my paper (He stretched forth his hand to collect it back but the old man hid it under his armpit, not ready to release it). Oh Jesus, baba what is all this na, give me back my paper, that’s where I wrote the address, or do you want me to get lost, gimme my paper back ooo

(The old man tried to bite his hand as he was about collecting it. He shouted in an annoying voice pointing hands at Emeka. When Emeka noticed that some people are already coming closer to the scene, after hearing the old man when he shouted, he decided to take his leave, leaving the paper with the old man)

Emeka: God punish you this old man, heei, what is that address again oo. Okay, No 9 Emmanuel street, No 9 Emmanuel street (He continued to say it, so as not to forget) God, I don’t want to regret coming to this place ooo, Ok, Let me ask someone else
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(The three guys were sitting in the room, as James stood to dress up)

Douglas: Bros where are you going to (He yawns, scratching his neck)

James: My cousin might have missed his way, let me go out to the main road if I can sight him. That boy does not know anything about Lagos

Segun: Why can’t you just call him on the phone

James: My phone is down remember, all this Nepa people sef ehhnn

Douglas: Those ones, woo, they will not see any money for bill this time. Abeg buy something when you are coming back oo (He said, standing up to pick a broom)

Segun: But I thought your cousin is coming from the village now

James: Sure (He muttered, arranging his shirt)

Segun: Then he should be bringing some goody goodies na

James: (he scoffs) How sure are you, well let’s hope he come with some food items. (Staring at Douglas) Ahn ahn Bros, wetin? (He asked staring at the broom in his hand)

Douglas: I just want to sweep the room small, you know na, when we are expecting a visitor, we need to clean the house. So that he won’t see us as dirty pigs (He said, casting mocking glares at Segun)

Segun: why are you now staring at me that way

Douglas: Haa, heei ehei, you know why, anyway, raise up your leg let me (He was interrupted by some noise coming from outside)

Segun: Mtchewwww, all this noise again, who be dat one sef

Douglas: Who else if not Oga landlord, only God knows who he is quarrelling with. But wait oo, it might be your cousin (He muttered, as James rushed out to see for himself)
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LandLord: Are you not that Jamisi (James) sister,,,

Emeka: Y….e,,,ss, but jemisi…? Sir I don’t get you

LandLord: ahahn, Jemisi(James) naa, omo ibo, that is staying in this compound

Emeka: yes sir, is it james,,yes I am his cousin sir… not sister

Landlord: Woo, leave it like that, English is English, sister and cousin are the same thing, abi you no know,,,anyways,,,wetin you bring from the village wey you come. As a landlord I have every right, watch my mouth, every right, to collect the thing wey you bring come from village, at least give me small for inside

Emeka: haa, so you are the landlord sir (The landlord nodded in affirmation). Oh,,,I don’t know oo, eermmmmm heehn ok I have just (Opening his bag, but stopped immediately he sighted James coming towards them) . Oh bro, you are here

James: yes now, hanhan, Emeka, why are you opening your bag. Oga landlord, were did you know my cousin from (He asked with surprise written all over his face)

Landlord: Haa, I just know him now now, I tell him sey make he give me small thing for the thing wey he carry come from village

James: Nooo, oga landlord,,,,,hanhan, this one is a student nawww, he did not come with anything

Landlord: With all this bags

Emeka: Well I ‘m just with some……

James: Books,,,yes,,,books (James said, patting Emeka on his back trying to send a signal to him, which he noticed immediately)

Landlord: Ehnehn, okay na, ehnnn, what about the money wey you say you go give me (he asked referring to James)

James: I will give you nawww, oga landlord the best landlord, I will come and see you okay (He muttered, and led Emeka to the room)
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To be continued
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Love y'all 💞
Vickie Dora 🌻

WATER STRIKE
(Crazy Compound)
Genre: Drama (Comedy)
Setting: Lagos, Nigeria
Tags: Action, Romance, Love, Hatred, Suspense, Fight
Author: Vickie Dora
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Prologue
Emeka, an undergraduate student left his hometown in the eastern part of the country, in order to live with his cousin, James, who resides in the west. His plan is to squat with him for the main time, and continue his education which was his main purpose for coming to the city.

James, on the other hand, who claimed to live a good life in the city, is nothing but also a student who hustles to make ends meet in the city. Being a hustler, he rented just a one room apartment, where he and his crazy friends, Segun and Douglas occupy, in an annoying compound where the landlord and landlady are demons in human form. A compound where riots and quarrels are the order of the day

This was not what Emeka was expecting, especially being a fresher in a city like Lagos. But how will he managed to cope with the change of environment, annoying pressures from his cousin’s friends and landlord wahala.

Find out in this astonishing drama……

CHARACTERS

Oga Landlord: Owner of the compound
Landlady: His wife
Bola: Their daughter
Emeka: Compound newbie
James: His cousin
Douglas: James friend and roommate
Segun: James friend and roommate
Iya Sade: A tenant
Baba Sade:Her husband
Sade: Their Daughter
Mallam: A tenant
Big Prof: A lecturer, also a tenant
Baby Sussi: Compound slut
Chioma: Big Prof’s Crush
Kingsley: Bola’s boyfriend
Susan: Kingsley’s Mother






Episode 1
(The Beginning)

(Sitting in the room, are the three friends: James, Segun, and Douglas, going through newspapers as their stomach made rumbling sound due to lack of food. A room painted white and gold, with two beds, a table and wooden chair, one stool at the other end of the room beside the bed. They seem to be so engross in the paper they are reading to have noticed the angry noises their stomach made)

Segun: Guy, see wetin I see for this place oo (He said showing the paper to Douglas)

Douglas: hahan, don’t you know this girl, she is the latest chick in town oooo

James: which girl is that (He asked struggling to get up from the bed to see for himself)

Douglas: Na Folake na, that girl is a witch, I swear

Segun: Serious, I can’t believe she has been arrested

Douglas: That one, she is a real ritualist, I had that she sleeps with men just to use them for ritual

James: so are you telling me that this Folake is a ritualist, isn’t she a prostitute

Douglas: Before nko, that’s her profession, but that was just a façade. Her real mission is to damage the lives of men by sleeping with them, and gaining money in return.

Segun: Guys; men don suffer for this life, all this women wicked ooo, imagine. This small folake,,,,,ehhe

James: Abi ooo, I was even trying my luck on her one time like that, I don’t know that she is someone like this ooo

Douglas: Na only you?, Our lecture, Mr. Kudi, has gbense the hell out of her, can’t you see that he has turned to bonga fish, she don finish em life. It remains to do his burial.

James: huhunh, how did you know about it, Mr. BBC

Douglas: Serious oo, guy I no lie, I swear. I do see her almost every time coming out of that idiot office, I was even jealous that this man is enjoying big Nash and br**st, while we small boy can’t get any, because we are poor. But thank God that I did not try any move to approach her, if not, I for don die too

Segun: Hmmmm, thank God that she has confessed and has being arrested, I can’t come and die in this Lagos that I’m still hustling.

Douglas: that’s not even the case. I just don’t want her to go and bewitch those small girls that are still giving us pepper soup, those ones’ eyes never too opens sha (he said as Segun’s stomach growls loudly)

James: Guy, your stomach dey mess?

Segun: I’m hungry now,, let’s find something that we can eat, I can’t stay like this oo (He grumbled, dropping the newspaper and slumped on the bed beside James)

Douglas: Wait oo, James. I thought you said that your cousin is coming from the village, where is he going to live

James: which kain question be that one, he is staying here of course

Douglas & Segun: Haaaaaaaa (they both exclaim)

Segun: In this same room, that is another mouth adding to our mouth oo. This one that hungry is beating us like this, another one want to come

Douglas: That is not even the problem, will oga landlord accept another tenant

James: Leave that old man alone joor, na money em dey find. I will just grease his hand with something and he will accept

Douglas: So when is he coming

James: He supposed to be here by now (he said checking the time) He left home since yesterday evening, this is just 7am.

Segun: Oh but….(They were interrupted by a knock on the door). I will go get it

Douglas: No let me get it (He said as they both struggled with each other on who will open the door)

James: Hey guys, why this annoying play na. Open the door first let’s see who the fellow is, it might be my cousin

(Segun went ahead to open the door and met his worst enemy, he hissed loudly and bang the door to the fellows face)

James: why did you close the door na, who is at the door

Segun: who else if not that annoying landlord, he has come with his wahala again, can’t someone rest for once

James: Fine, let me speak with him

(Outside the room, the landlord was busy raining curses on Segun for slamming the door to his face that way)

Landlord: Stupid, idioitic human being. You didn’t even have single respect for your fathers. Ode!!(Fool)

James: hahan, oga landlord, that one is too much na, what happen

Landlord: (adjusting the chewing stick in his mouth) Is it not that stupid boy that calls his name segun, or whatever. Ehnn, this morning in the early, he can’t even show single respect

Douglas: (Coming out from the room, and standing beside James) Oga landlord it is early in the morning, not morning in the early, hanhan, where did you get all those English from

Landlord: Hey-, just shut your useless mouth there, are you the one that send me to school, at least I can pronunciation my words well

Douglas: Jesus uu

James: E shoke u?

Douglas: More than electricity

Landlord: what is shocking you, are you both insulting me

Douglas & James: (Mockingly) Noo naaaaa

James: Landlord the landlord, we can’t mock you now, ahn ahn. So oga Landlord, what brought you to my humble abode this morning in the early, according to your English

Landlord: Ehhen, omo dada (Good child). I have news for you. It is a good and bad news

James: Ehen, serious? Well, wait landlord, let me tell you my own news first

Landlord: Drive on

Douglas: Hey, where is he driving to (he muttered silently)

James: (Stared angrily at Douglas to keep his voice down) Ehen, as I was saying. Oga landlord, my cousin will be coming today from the village, and he is coming to this compound

Landlord: okay??(Nodding his head)

James: And he is going to be leaving here with us

Landlord: us Which of us? which house sef

Douglas: Our room na, this room (He gestured to the room)

Landlord: heiheaaa, I laugh in my native language

Douglas: You can laugh in your foreign language as well

James: Oga landlord, what happen na

Landlord: You are already three agberos (Touts) leaving in this room. Now another one want to come, Ogun forbid it, over my dead body

Douglas: But you are not dead yet sha, but very soon sha

Landlord: so you want to kill me abi, in my compound, okay na

James: Oga Landlord, just tell me the amount you want, so that my cousin will join us here. Ok, let’s do it like this, we will double the amount of rent we are paying. Are you ok with that?

Landlord: Erm ,,,,,Hmmmm (turning his head, sideways) Lets see about that naa. Erm,,,lets him come, but other charges will apply ooo

James: Ehn before that one will come, tell us the goodnews and bad news first

Landlord: ok, let me tell you the bad news

Douglas: why not the good news first

Landlord: Gbe enu e soun (shut up) And you call yourself a student in the unifasity (University) and you are behaving like a bull goat

Douglas: heiii

Landlord: Don’t you know that after you hear the bad news, when you now hear the goodnews, it will now cool your mind, abi na Jamisi (James)

James: My name is James sir

Landlord: woo, anyone, name is name. Okay,,,the bad news is that our bore hole has spoil, so,,,,there will not be water for a long time

James&Douglas: Haaaaaahahahh, pokoyoooo

Douglas: I don finish,,,,water is my life

James: Okay.,,,,what is the goodnews

Landlord: Good question, the goodnews is that, that old well at the back of the compound, that has been locked for about a year now, is having little water in it

Douglas: haa, thank God

Landlord: Wait first, lemme finish. Okay, erm,,, you see that well, hmmm, before you fetch water from it, you will have to pay #200 for one yellow keg

Douglas: Haaa #200, how is that one now a good news

James: I wonder ooo

Landlord: if you like wonder or wondering, just accept it like that or go find where you can fetch water, I have spoken my own oo (He said, taking the exit route while the two guys stare at him with disgust)

James: heii, what type of life is this

Douglas: This one pass suffer oo. How do you now expect a whole me, Douglas to go and be looking for water up and down, all those my babes will now be like……haaa, no no no Oga landlord must find a solution to this, I can’t take it

James: Hmmm, we will survive, abi shey no be Lagos we dey….but wait oo, is segun still inside the room, hope he has not finished that small garri that remains

Douglas: Ewwoooo (He exclaimed) segun,,,,,….(They both struggled their way into the room)
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To be continued
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Love y'all 💞
Vickie Dora 🌻