₦airaland Forum

Get your man talking.


My husband is my best friend and that is
why I love any opportunity to chat and chat with him like best friends.

Trust us " women "we like talking over everything and getting response most especially verbally.

Sometimes when l get those grunting replies and shrugging of shoulder as response to my yearnings for an active conversation and I get those manly attitudes l feel disappointed and fail to reason that my husband is not a female after all. I usually activate my "silent mode",put on my "am a woman cap"and wonder at the huge gender differences we have. "Sometimes it's like talking to yourself "commented a friend "All you get is a nod or just a grunt" Studies have shown men can actually talk unlike what "wives" think.
The issue is that most times we are always in hurry to be the one talking and also giving answers to issues on ground.
Most men speak only about 12,000 words a day while most women speak over 25,000.So we can all imagine the huge gap in the words we dish out each day.

Learning the key to making a long conversation with our husbands will promote the fondness and communication in our marriages.Men get fed up easily especially when we start our blabbing over issues and yet fail to respect their opinions. They just decide to keep mute and give us their noncommittal response as usual.
Every woman should learn some basic things on how to motivate your husband to talk to promote the marriage.
How Do You Motivate Your Husband to Talk? By Brian Bercht

1. If you ask him a question, then allow him time to answer without explaining to him why he is wrong.

2. If you ask him a question, then allow him time to answer without needing to point out to him why his answer doesn’t make sense.

3. If you ask him a question, let him know you want to hear his answer by – not responding (cross examining) to the first thing that does not line up or what seems to contradict a previous answer.

4. Let him know that you will hold your tongue and not interrupt his answers. He needs to feel some respect, and this is demonstrated by allowing him to complete his thought process.

5. Give him the questions in writing.

6. Use the phrases, ‘tell me more about that’; ‘that’s interesting, what allowed you to do that?’

7. Avoid the ‘Entrapment’ questions. These generally are questions where you are trying to lead your man into saying what you think he SHOULD say. Styling or re-phrasing your questions in such a way to make him answer ONLY the way you think he should is the same.

8. Give him time to think. Let him get the nerve up to answer. Allow him time to formulate his thoughts. (Remember, thinking about something DOES NOT mean he is lying!!!)

9. Try to avoid asking the ‘FEELING’ questions. Like ‘how did you feel when you were doing…’ ‘What did you feel after…’ ‘How did it feel when she said…’ Because quite likely he wasn’t thinking about any of these things.

10. Use the phrase, ‘I’d be interested to hear how you see…’ or

11. ‘I know you don’t really want to but it would mean a lot to me, if you told me about…’

12. If you have done this, then, admit that you have not really listened to him in the past. So really listen to his response to that statement.

13. Don’t start these conversations late at night.

14. Set a time limit on these talks and let him know what it is, and then stick to it!

15. Try sticking to one subject at a time. Avoid jumping around.

16. Remember he is not ‘rational & sound’ in his mind.

Nafi's Random Musings@ www.nafisustain.com

Get your man talking.


My husband is my best friend and that is
why I love any opportunity to chat and chat with him like best friends.

Trust us " women "we like talking over everything and getting response most especially verbally.

Sometimes when l get those grunting replies and shrugging of shoulder as response to my yearnings for an active conversation and I get those manly attitudes l feel disappointed and fail to reason that my husband is not a female after all. I usually activate my "silent mode",put on my "am a woman cap"and wonder at the huge gender differences we have. "Sometimes it's like talking to yourself "commented a friend "All you get is a nod or just a grunt" Studies have shown men can actually talk unlike what "wives" think.
The issue is that most times we are always in hurry to be the one talking and also giving answers to issues on ground.
Most men speak only about 12,000 words a day while most women speak over 25,000.So we can all imagine the huge gap in the words we dish out each day.

Learning the key to making a long conversation with our husbands will promote the fondness and communication in our marriages.Men get fed up easily especially when we start our blabbing over issues and yet fail to respect their opinions. They just decide to keep mute and give us their noncommittal response as usual.
Every woman should learn some basic things on how to motivate your husband to talk to promote the marriage.
How Do You Motivate Your Husband to Talk? By Brian Bercht

1. If you ask him a question, then allow him time to answer without explaining to him why he is wrong.

2. If you ask him a question, then allow him time to answer without needing to point out to him why his answer doesn’t make sense.

3. If you ask him a question, let him know you want to hear his answer by – not responding (cross examining) to the first thing that does not line up or what seems to contradict a previous answer.

4. Let him know that you will hold your tongue and not interrupt his answers. He needs to feel some respect, and this is demonstrated by allowing him to complete his thought process.

5. Give him the questions in writing.

6. Use the phrases, ‘tell me more about that’; ‘that’s interesting, what allowed you to do that?’

7. Avoid the ‘Entrapment’ questions. These generally are questions where you are trying to lead your man into saying what you think he SHOULD say. Styling or re-phrasing your questions in such a way to make him answer ONLY the way you think he should is the same.

8. Give him time to think. Let him get the nerve up to answer. Allow him time to formulate his thoughts. (Remember, thinking about something DOES NOT mean he is lying!!!)

9. Try to avoid asking the ‘FEELING’ questions. Like ‘how did you feel when you were doing…’ ‘What did you feel after…’ ‘How did it feel when she said…’ Because quite likely he wasn’t thinking about any of these things.

10. Use the phrase, ‘I’d be interested to hear how you see…’ or

11. ‘I know you don’t really want to but it would mean a lot to me, if you told me about…’

12. If you have done this, then, admit that you have not really listened to him in the past. So really listen to his response to that statement.

13. Don’t start these conversations late at night.

14. Set a time limit on these talks and let him know what it is, and then stick to it!

15. Try sticking to one subject at a time. Avoid jumping around.

16. Remember he is not ‘rational & sound’ in his mind.

Nafi's Random Musings@ www.nafisustain.com

Thanks for the delivery

'I just want to be a great Mum'

A mother's job is so challenging that sometimes you ask yourself if you're doing the right.
Are my kids going to turn out great?
Am l a great mum?

Perhaps you read a book on parenting or met with other mothers in a gathering and you are amazed at their parenting skills.You can't help but ask your self if your parenting is excellent.


The good news is that you don't have to be hard on yourself. You're doing fine but only have to work on some techniques to make things work for you.
There is nothing wrong with sharing ideas and experiences with other mothers.
What does not feel right is being a critic on other mother's style of parenting.

"Some people can be a pain in the neck by criticising all efforts you make"complained a first timer mother.
"A mother once accused me bitterly of wearing diapers for a eighteen months old child.She said l was wasting money and spoiling my child"said a friend during my research.
"And l was confused on what to do. I stopped and had almost all my clothes messed up from poo and urine "she lamented.
You don't have to cringe at some criticism on your parenting skills. Just tell them nicely"thank you" on their contributions and pick out the ones that works for you.

"Follow your instinct on decisions you want to make on parenting especially when you are comfortable with it"was a wise advice an Aunty gave me.

As mothers we need to understand what works for us, stop comparing and assuming that there is only a way to parenting.

Trying out different ways and sticking to what works for you is a great plus for you.
Work on the doubts you have about your parenting skills.

Get more knowledge when you are in doubt and be proud of yourself when you achieve success on the new style of parenting.

Nobody is a perfect mother.

Say to yourself. ..I am a cool mum ....I am working on my parenting skills. I hope to be a successful one.


For more visit:
Nafi's Random Musings@ www.nafisustain.com

Pls vote for anyone you like.

Good evening bro, pls how far?

Hmnnn.! Na whao.
With this same guy standing behind him.

Location and pix

Can it fly for 300k

Exact location in Ilorin,
Is the car in good condition?

Everyone is now seeing reason for change.

Just waiting for February 2015

It's all about Change!

Naija I hail o.

If you have up to 100k in your account, you can start by investing it in Fixed deposit and there by increasing it on a monthly basis with any amount you so wish like 120k you said. UBA is still more reliable now,

which area are you in Oshogbo and how much last.

Thank you for online real time delivery. I've done d trf to ya account, send the last 1 to d no i sent.

Now March 2015.













Finally.



This is the Will of God...

Thanks for d online real time delivery.
Expect more deals soon.

Good info. Change is in the Air.

Thanks man, your delivery was on point.

Amen. His wish and that of all Nigerians.

Her husband of course.
She go become first lady now.
Her brother is now extended family.

The Best we can get for now.
GMB all the way.

There's nothing like that abeg.
It's just a reflection of one's mind. If you believe such you only creating fear for your self.

Change....

Hmnn! Attack indeed, abeg use mosquitoes net next time.

I don't think there's 'Unfair contract term' in Nigeria law system.
Like I said earlier just try and persuade the person to see reason with you, and you guys reach a compromise. You have no case and you can even get sued for breach of contract (for not fulfilling your part of the agreement.).

I'm not a lawyer and don't know more about Nigeria law system. I gave you the context base on UK law on contract.
Maybe you should consult a lawyer on how to go about it.
Best of luck my brother.

Question:
What are the 5 best tips for a successful and
happy marriage?
Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh
Thank you for your question.
1. Make the Quran and Sunnah your source,
foundation, and judge in all of your affairs.
2. Focus on the things you love about your spouse
and do not focus on flaws.
3. Healthy communication! Don’t be afraid to
healthily voice your concerns to one another.
4. Worship Allah together. A family that prays
together stays together because love for Allah
unites the hearts.
5. Don’t air your dirty laundry. When you have
issues try to resolve internally instead of
embarrassing your spouse.
And Allah knows best.
Answered by Shaykh Omar Suleiman
Hadith of the Day Imam
Director – Islamic Learning Foundation

Culled:
http://askaquestion.had
ithoftheday.com/index.php?p=/discussion/446/
tips-for-a-successful-and-happy-marriage