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Mokole2023:
Dear Nlders,

I cant say if this problem is peculiar and I would sincerely appreciate mature comments and suggestions.

My marriage is just about a year old though I had an on/off online friendship with my now-wifey since 2017 before we decided to get serious late 2021. Our physical courtship was kinda brief - about 6 months - while we both resided in the same state but different Cities (about 3hrs apart).

I used to be very sexually active in my previous relationships - trust me when i say I'm quite good in bed - but with my now-wifey, I decided to limit the sex part cos i felt at a man's age (tho my sisters also advised same) that there r other things to look out for in a woman. So basically, we did not get too intimate during courtship. Worryingly, even the few times we did it, I rarely got to orgasm cos she couldn't match my stamina.

Fast forwards to 1 month into the marriage, I was diagnosed with High blood pressure which the doctors advised BP drugs might affect my libido but it will later regulate/normalize. Then the problems started! First, I get aroused normally with good turgidity enough to penetrate my Wifey's tight "body" but I tend to loose erection after some mins of thrusting and that's the end. Never comes back on again. Few times I was able to finish but that's not without alot of mental imagination to make me finish ontime.

Very worryingly for me, I decided to check myself with other women and dear readers, I achieved stronger turgidity and no fail moment. That was my first shock.

Summarily, my wife and I still dont live together but this situation has gone worse now. I got no sexual feelings towards her and na by force we dey manage run 1 round in weeks. Meanwhile, I get sex requests from other girls on a daily. I'm very sad about this situation especially when i look at my wife because she ought to be enjoying this thicke alone forever.

As a man, you can imagine how you'd feel when your woman feels ur impotent while other women are bugging you for your time.

Various extreme thoughts have crossed my mind and I'm seriously bothered which isn't even good for my health. Should i confess to my wife?

I await your responses, suggestions and advice.

Many thanks,

There are multiple problems here. First you’ve lost attraction for your wife in other words you done see your wife finish. Don’t disguise under the fact she didn’t match your energy initially. Now you are the cause not her. You’ve because too comfortable with her. While it’s a good thing on the other hand could be bad. A little bit of informality helps. Overfamiliarity in relationships would sometimes deceive your biology. You get erection for other women because of the anxiety you feel with them. I’d suggest you find a way to distance me yourself mentally at home and build the cravings back for your wife


Secondly you are scared. Somewhere in your mind every time you want to start you are thinking what the doctor said and suddenly you’ve forgotten the doctor was wrong because you actually don’t have low libido. If you do you wouldn’t even have or sustain erection from anybody


In summary it’s all in your mind. Work on it or let biology though.
Solution one. Conflictive ( Work on the things i mentioned above)

Solution 2 Biology (starve yourself from other ladies and masturbation, Your Adrenaline would be forced so to spike at the sight of any naked woman. Which would be your wife! In other terms. Simply put is kongi)

Solution 3: Bang at your strongest. In the morning when rod is naturally hard. Let the staff comfort her

Solution 4: Find a psychologist! They would work with you to tailor solutions best suited for you
Stop looking for the easy way out. If this is your only problem except you didn’t add other things. I suggest Stay in your marriage and make it work! Those other girls are making you think there’s sweet out there 😃 ….

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