I dreamt in the dream, I was in the midst of elderly men in a remote village. We were all sitting in a semi-circle round an idol in a shrine. All the men including myself were putting on red robes. They were chanting incantations. At the time they stopped chanting, they asked me many questions I was unable to give answer to. One question they kept repeating was “why do you buy the calabash”? why do you buy the calabash? I was amaze at the question, which calabash? I asked. I looked at their faces, their faces were shinning like a mirror. I asked them again and again, which calabash? I woke up from the dream.
In 1999, I enlisted into the police force as a recruit constable. I was promoted to the corporal rank after serving ten years. The promotion was after the police strike action against stagnation and poor serving condition. In the police you have to learn fast to fit into the system. There slogans and other in house languages that will seem meaningless to others which the members of the force will comprehend and be alert to any unwholesome situation around them. Sometime you hear words like “uno de no de”, ude he nor stand well well na him sabi “. This mean you have to be smart to know what is happening around or you will be cheated. You will also hear “Na monkey go hang himself”. This is an indirect way to warn you against the problem you are inviting to yourself or you hear idiom like edon tey when yansh dey back”. He is telling you that he too experience to be easily deceived.
I was detained in the cell for three days. What was my offence? As I arrived police college for training, I was allocated a bed infested by bed bugs, the next day after enduring the bugs bite throughout the previous night I went to POWA shop and bought kerosene and pour on the bed to kill the bugs, unfortunately for me the provost marshal of the college was passing by, he immediately ordered for my detention. He charged me for “genocide of commandment pikns” – meaning the bugs in the college are commandant children, that must be treated with dignity. It was then myself and other new recruits learnt it was an offence to kill the bugs in the beds and chairs in the college. Beans prepared and served to recruits are often half cooked and contain stones. One of the first thing you learn in the force is “No complaint sir”. Even when you have serious issues bothering you.
After serving three years in the conventional police, I mobilized to police mobile force, on arrival at the MOPOL camp, the new arrivals were baptized. This ritual according to the Drill instructor is to drain away “A TURA” blood from the new mopol. PMF personnel call conventional police men “ATURA”. In the conventional police you are expected to be secretive, work and do things as individuals who should be ready to give account of his or her actions individually and not collectively, but the contrary is the case in the mobile force, Mopol will say “WE-ONE” meaning we are always there to support one another in all circumstances. Baptism of tear gas is one of the ritual to welcome new arrival to mopol base, new arrivals are gathered in a room and tear gased severally, anyone who attempt to escape are disqualified and sent packing from the camp. After three months training we were deployed to various duty points across the country. Mopol life is a mixture of fu and suffering. You need endurance to survive in the mopol. You will hear “mopol nor bi moi-moi”. Mopol songs are unique and convey words of encouragement to men during operations. Mopol men bear strange names like “mortuary”, dead body, ashewo barber, frustrated”.
When I asked frustrated why he is called frustrated. He said frequent transfer was used to frustrate him while in the conventional police. He said he was transferred to four different states within three years. Ashewo barber, when I inquire about the origin of the nickname I was told that before he join the police he use to move from one brothel to another to shave whores armpit and other part of their body for a fee. I was part of the contingent that restore peace to many warring communities like Offa/Erin ile, Share/Tsaragi, Ibira communal crises.
After five years in the mobile force, I was demobilized back to the conventional police force and I was posted to criminal investigation department as a detective. Working in the CID is another ball game altogether. In this section, I met many people of different character, die-hard armed robbers, hire assassins, con men and other dubious minded people. Criminals and detective play game of wit. Criminals are always prepare to outsmart detective and set bobo traps for them. The diabolical ones charm detectives who investigate their cases.
I investigated or case of stolen edifects and murder and murder against Idiado Nando known by his nickname as “PUFF ADDER”. I regretted ever investigating this case. The puff Adder case is now my source of trauma, sorrow and regret. When Puff Adder was arrested and brought to the station, he was furious and resentful. He threatened every police men around, he said many heads will roll, that a snake can never be kept in captivity. His ranting was thought to be empty boast. Puff Adder is a habitual criminal, a jail-bird, who specializes in snatching expensive cars and stealing adifects from shrines which he sell to tourists at exorbitant prices. In this case I investigated puff Adder and his friend invaded ovator shrine at igiedunana. During the raid, they met the chief priests of the idol inside the shrine, they strangulate and went away with the idol. The people of igiedunana community revel the ovator idol. They believe their forefathers have been serving the idol for more than five hundred years. That the idol protect the community against natural disaster and other calamities. When search warrant was executed in Puff Adder residence, many incriminating items were recovered. It took six months to conclude investigation into the case.
Puff Adder paid two million naira bribe to settle the case. My predicament and misery started immediately I collected the money from Puff Adder uncle, an elderly man of about seventy years old. I felt sensation all over my body as I collected the money. Invisible creature like wall-gecko started crawling from my head to other parts of my body. When it move to my eyes, I will be blind until it craws away, when it move to my ears I will become deaf and when it craw into my brain, I will become insane until it craws away before I regain my sanity. I suffered this for more than twenty years now.
I lost my service pistol in a mysterious circumstance and was detained for six months after which I was tried in orderly room and dismissed from the police force for negligence and lost of government property. My wife left me, she said a man who cannot perform his conjugal and financial role is not expected to have a wife. Before this time I suffer from erectile dysfunction and I lost my manhood. My ten years old son dies. He was electrocuted in his room, he was making attempt to plug video game to the socket. My wife felt it will be a waste of her time to remain with me since I am not in the position to father another child. Hence she decided to leave.
With the narrative so far, you will understand the dream I had. That I bought my calabash of calamity and sorry from Puff Adder with the two million naira bribe I collected to set him free from the case of killing ovator idol priest and stealing the idol. I considered two options with the same goal, to end it with sniper or ota-piapia solution.
However, on a second thought I decided to stay alive to be a tragic example to police officers and other law enforcement officers who are involve in dubious ways of performing their duties.


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