I'm a businessman in my early thirties. In my lifetime, I have dated only thrice because of issues I have with the female gender which revolves around my inability to trust a woman. None of these relationships lasted above a year.

The girl I'm currently dating has the makings of the girl I'd love to marry. We met in February so we haven't dated long enough but we have a strong connection (perhaps we are still in the lust phase). We also live a long distance apart. She is in Lagos while I'm in Port Harcourt so we only meet periodically.

In Lagos, she squats with two guys who are not related to her. The circumstances that led to that is a long story for another time. When I found out, she played it down and assured me they were like brothers to her. I've even spoken to one of them (or so I think). But my trust issues are always in overdrive when she is not available to talk or chat. We quarrel and make up. Truth is the whole thing is driving me insane because I believe she loves me. She has spent on me and shown other signs that she is in love with me. More so because I love her too.

See the thing is, we have made some plans and we agreed she will learn a trade. She learned the trade for two weeks, although the trade she chose isn't the one I wanted for her (Because I know my future plans). Now she wants to start off her own. The amount she needs is not something I can't raise for her, but I feel... Something is off. Something is not right.

Is it my trust issues or my instincts? I feel I should visit her, and this time insist on hanging out with her roommates abi brothers. But I also know she will understand my motives and be hurt by the fact that I don't trust her, especially if our relationship is genuine. Lol. I don't know. Is this the right decision or am I pushing it too far?

Why won't you have trust issue when a lady that is yet to have something doing is spending on you and in co- habitat with men?

Kobomax:
I'm a businessman in my early thirties. In my lifetime, I have dated only thrice because of issues I have with the female gender which revolves around my inability to trust a woman. None of these relationships lasted above a year.

The girl I'm currently dating has the makings of the girl I'd love to marry. We met in February so we haven't dated long enough but we have a strong connection (perhaps we are still in the lust phase). We also live a long distance apart. She is in Lagos while I'm in Port Harcourt so we only meet periodically.

In Lagos, she squats with two guys who are not related to her. The circumstances that led to that is a long story for another time. When I found out, she played it down and assured me they were like brothers to her. I've even spoken to one of them (or so I think). But my trust issues are always in overdrive when she is not available to talk or chat. We quarrel and make up. Truth is the whole thing is driving me insane because I believe she loves me. She has spent on me and shown other signs that she is in love with me. More so because I love her too.

See the thing is, we have made some plans and we agreed she will learn a trade. She learned the trade for two weeks, although the trade she chose isn't the one I wanted for her (Because I know my future plans). Now she wants to start off her own. The amount she needs is not something I can't raise for her, but I feel... Something is off. Something is not right.

Is it my trust issues or my instincts? I feel I should visit her, and this time insist on hanging out with her roommates abi brothers. But I also know she will understand my motives and be hurt by the fact that I don't trust her, especially if our relationship is genuine. Lol. I don't know. Is this the right decision or am I pushing it too far?

First of all are you a GEMINI? Because Gemini’s like putting pieces together and most times they come to the real fact.. ...

Secondly are you sure you are in love and not obsessed about her... Cause obsession can make u think you are in love so bruv don’t mix the two...

Thirdly I wouldn’t say you should conclude on your thoughts but one thing You should know is this .. A lady sleeps with a man (ladies call it date at that moment) for favours generally (Hypergamy - ladies call it love because he can provide for them). When he goes broke they move on to the next level just to keep up.

Now the man start giving gifts of all forms (moneys, houses, car etc). Gifts he has never or can never give his own family (mother and sibling).

Because of the ladies bedmatic skills or submissive skills which is deceiving and cracking is brain. In his head he thinks he has found love (whereas he is in self denial and destruction). Because he is investing in a place where nothing can come out apart of more investment (kids, marriage, children out of wedlock etc).


We are all in a TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIP! So saying she spent money for you is nothing cause I am sure she ain’t spent half of what you have given her or done for her..


Bruv if you claim she loves you she would do the do lol to make you see reasons that she is trustworthy and who she is who she say she is .. That’s why if you ask me I will tell you honestly after I left my 5 years abusive relationship I have always sticked to having plenty GF’s and treat them all the equally nobody is special that the other person..

Lagos girl are funny ...Don’t be surprised she might be staying with her boyfriend and her BF’s friend.. That person you spoke too might be just one random person ... Hahaha fear Lagos girls ..

Kobomax:
I'm a businessman in my early thirties. In my lifetime, I have dated only thrice because of issues I have with the female gender which revolves around my inability to trust a woman. None of these relationships lasted above a year.

The girl I'm currently dating has the makings of the girl I'd love to marry. We met in February so we haven't dated long enough but we have a strong connection (perhaps we are still in the lust phase). We also live a long distance apart. She is in Lagos while I'm in Port Harcourt so we only meet periodically.

In Lagos, she squats with two guys who are not related to her. The circumstances that led to that is a long story for another time. When I found out, she played it down and assured me they were like brothers to her. I've even spoken to one of them (or so I think). But my trust issues are always in overdrive when she is not available to talk or chat. We quarrel and make up. Truth is the whole thing is driving me insane because I believe she loves me. She has spent on me and shown other signs that she is in love with me. More so because I love her too.

See the thing is, we have made some plans and we agreed she will learn a trade. She learned the trade for two weeks, although the trade she chose isn't the one I wanted for her (Because I know my future plans). Now she wants to start off her own. The amount she needs is not something I can't raise for her, but I feel... Something is off. Something is not right.

Is it my trust issues or my instincts? I feel I should visit her, and this time insist on hanging out with her roommates abi brothers. But I also know she will understand my motives and be hurt by the fact that I don't trust her, especially if our relationship is genuine. Lol. I don't know. Is this the right decision or am I pushing it too far?

your instincts are right in guiding you.

not that I'm saying she is a bad person but from your write up there is no genuine reason why you should trust her completely. yes, she might be trustworthy but you don't trust completely based on what you have said so far. if you trust 9 out of 10 girls blindly like this even the one you didn't trust will still mess you up. so do more findings before you commit yourself especially financially. infact do not commit yourself in anyway until you are sure of what's going on btw u two and by being sure I mean until you are engaged or married. if you are ready why waste time? why not marry her? discuss your plans for her. there's a high chance she sees you as an end to a means and not for marriage. forget all the lovey dovey she's showing. real strong men are no longer moved by that...men and women pretend when they see what's on the table...

party alert

Anyway, it's not your fault... Even someone without trust issues should at least be worried that she has been banging squatting with two guys...

Very soon that evidence you dey find you go see am
Nothing more to say...

I don't think any guy or lady would feel comfortable if their spouse whom they are in a "serious" relationship with is living with a non related opposite sex.
Forget trust, there is always that lil jealousy when u truly love someone.
You guys should work on getting her own apartment, it is as simple as that.

See how one of them is fucking and pressing her breast when the other "brother" isn't watching, see how the other "brother" is fucking her nicely when the other "brother" isn't at home, see how they could even both be enjoying that pussy while you plan for a future that you aren't sure that even after marriage, they'll stop fucking her... You forgot we're humans.


I've done that before. (Fucking a girl living with me but has a boyfriend) it must happen sha

dante0147:



First of all are you a GEMINI? Because Gemini’s like putting pieces together and most times they come to the real fact.. ...

Secondly are you sure you are in love and not obsessed about her... Cause obsession can make u think you are in love so bruv don’t mix the two...

Thirdly I wouldn’t say you should conclude on your thoughts but one thing You should know is this .. A lady sleeps with a man (ladies call it date at that moment) for favours generally (Hypergamy - ladies call it love because he can provide for them). When he goes broke they move on to the next level just to keep up.

Now the man start giving gifts of all forms (moneys, houses, car etc). Gifts he has never or can never give his own family (mother and sibling).

Because of the ladies bedmatic skills or submissive skills which is deceiving and cracking is brain. In his head he thinks he has found love (whereas he is in self denial and destruction). Because he is investing in a place where nothing can come out apart of more investment (kids, marriage, children out of wedlock etc).


We are all in a TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIP! So saying she spent money for you is nothing cause I am sure she ain’t spent half of what you have given her or done for her..


Bruv if you claim she loves you she would do the do lol to make you see reasons that she is trustworthy and who she is who she say she is .. That’s why if you ask me I will tell you honestly after I left my 5 years abusive relationship I have always sticked to having plenty GF’s and treat them all the equally nobody is special that the other person..

Lagos girl are funny ...Don’t be surprised she might be staying with her boyfriend and her BF’s friend.. That person you spoke too might be just one random person ... Hahaha fear Lagos girls ..

I'm a Gemini yeah. Thanks a lot.

Baba your girl dey collect dick shots in Lagos you dey here dey talk nonsense

Hope I didn't read your story to end because I naturally don't like reading.
I love your idea of wanting to visit her for Thrëèsome, I love that part of the story and I think it's the right thing to do.

........
Who wrote nairaland censor words? wetin concern thrèèsome with Party?
next time you're changing 'Thrëësome' to Party, do me the favour of specifying which of the Party... is it political parties, ceremonial party?

Kobomax:


I'm a Gemini yeah. Thanks a lot.

BRUV I AM A GEMINI TOO I GOT OUT OF AN ABUSIVE AND CHEATING FILLED RELATIONSHIP... WHICH PROBLEMS STARTED JUST LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE FEELING NOW.. TRUST ISSUES! SHE HAD BEEN FUCKING HER BOSS... SHE KEPT ON DENYING AND I KEPT ON PUTTING PIECES TOGETHER TILL I GOT TO THE ACTUAL FACT THAT SHE WAS INDEED FUCKING THIS GUY NOT ONLY THAT SHE WAS THE ONE FORCING HER SELF ON HIM... I WASNT PISSED SHE WAS FUCKING THE GUY BUT I WAS PISSED ABOUT MY SELF FOR NOT BELIEVING AND FOLLOWING MY INSTICT !! BRUV AFTER THE WHOLE CHARADE I HAVE ALWAYS LEARNT TO FOLLOW MY INSTICT WHENEVER I FEEL SOMEONE IS NOT WHO THEY SAY THEY ARE ...

Our strong puzzle solving instinct is a blessing and a curse.

Long distance relationships rarely work out. Except you've dated her for at least 6 months to 1 yr before the long distance

Trust your partner at your own peril( both genders)


When it comes to Lagos and the girl in questions doesn’t have a place to stay but squatting and not with a girl but a guy and not only one guy but TWO guys. It’s finished bro.


You can’t tell me both guys are so not interested in that asx. I don’t want to believe your girl doesn’t have her own room at the apartment. Some nights she can dream bad dream and call one of the guys to come sleep with her and cuddling things make she for nor fear.

Or is it when it rains and it’s very coldddddddd, babe go Dey one of the guy’s arm.

I don’t want to go further because I’ll end up telling you how atleast one of the guys has seen your girlfriends naqedness and has intentionally or mistakenly tap her assx/buubs and your girl will smile and tell him “stop it o”

Or is it when your girl must have seen at least one of the guys dlck and jokingly say “your dlck is big o” and fantasized on having it inside of her that minute??


Or is it when you call her at times and her phone isn’t picking up or switched of after she tells you she wants to shower??

Brother, the truth is that gal ain't ur girlfriend and she is staying with her boyfriend who then squat his friend.. Wise up man.. Don't make any further commitment

How will a lady be living with a man....not just one man but two, and Op thinks she's decent

OP just focus on your business and forget about the girl. Get a nice girl around Ph and date if you wants a relationship. I said it again, forget about that girl to avoid had I know. She is living with her boyfriend and the other guy is probably a friend to the boyfriend. They see you as a maga and they are drawing a better plan to scam you silly. They probably told the girl to play along and form lovey lovey just to give them more time to perfect their plan. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.

98% jst dey advice o.p to live e girl friend bro the ball is in your cut..na u wear the shoe nah u know were dey pain you
My advice is this suggest to her of her getting a place make u hear her reaction.

Kobomax:
I'm a businessman in my early thirties. In my lifetime, I have dated only thrice because of issues I have with the female gender which revolves around my inability to trust a woman. None of these relationships lasted above a year.

The girl I'm currently dating has the makings of the girl I'd love to marry. We met in February so we haven't dated long enough but we have a strong connection (perhaps we are still in the lust phase). We also live a long distance apart. She is in Lagos while I'm in Port Harcourt so we only meet periodically.

In Lagos, she squats with two guys who are not related to her. The circumstances that led to that is a long story for another time. When I found out, she played it down and assured me they were like brothers to her. I've even spoken to one of them (or so I think). But my trust issues are always in overdrive when she is not available to talk or chat. We quarrel and make up. Truth is the whole thing is driving me insane because I believe she loves me. She has spent on me and shown other signs that she is in love with me. More so because I love her too.

See the thing is, we have made some plans and we agreed she will learn a trade. She learned the trade for two weeks, although the trade she chose isn't the one I wanted for her (Because I know my future plans). Now she wants to start off her own. The amount she needs is not something I can't raise for her, but I feel... Something is off. Something is not right.

Is it my trust issues or my instincts? I feel I should visit her, and this time insist on hanging out with her roommates abi brothers. But I also know she will understand my motives and be hurt by the fact that I don't trust her, especially if our relationship is genuine. Lol. I don't know. Is this the right decision or am I pushing it too far?

Funny how life is.. Your here talking about visiting your babe in Lagos. Why wouldn't you have trust issues when you can't control matters of the heart? Psychologically you need to see a psychiatrist. It being four months and counting that have been patience with you. I will just have to do this for the world to see... Guy pay my Twenty One Thousand Naira (21k)....Pay me my money..

Rays123:


Funny how life is.. Your here talking about visiting your babe in Lagos. Why wouldn't you have trust issues when you can't control matters of the heart? Psychologically you need to see a psychiatrist. It being four months and counting that have been patience with you. I will just have to do this for the world to see... Guy pay my Twenty One Thousand Naira (21k)....Pay me my money..

Lols. You mean more expenditure to the tune of 21k on a business venture that ended in a loss to the tune of over 50k? I paid u 250k to procure items for me of which I made 190k after sales. Asides my other expenses on that deal, that's a 60k loss. On further enquiries, imagine I found out that 250k should have gotten me more items of even better qualities. I've confirmed this on subsequent deals with your tribesmen. Which is why I told u that either u swindled me or u got swindled. You don't get paid for that on anyone's books my guy cause you're not an employee, you're a procurer - a businessman. So should I increase my losses further by paying you the quoted sum for an imaginary expense .You must not be a good business man to propose that as a resolution. The only loss I told u I was ready to bear was any loss by theft or accident on the road cause those were the instances baba mentioned. Not a loss caused by your inability to bargain properly or choice to cheat me on the deal. In fact for bringing up our private issue openly on this platform, lose my contact. I expected u to bring me a reasonable resolution. But apparently you've got nothing for me.

Trust your instincts
Some women sorry to say can be manipulative
How can u stay with two guys who aren't related to you...i once had a roommate (guy) in school, my mom had to rent another place for me because it wasn't safe
So leave all this love thing and open you eyes

This your story get as e be, whether she's lying or saying the truth now isn't obvious. Have you asked her why she's staying there with them? No other means of accommodation? What led to her moving in with them? Perhaps you could begin with these questions and then compare the answers given for irregularities, no point going to Lagos to spend time with her, you could be endangering your life.

Kobomax:


Lols. You mean more expenditure to the tune of 21k on a business venture that ended in a loss to the tune of over 50k? I paid u 250k to procure items for me of which I made 190k after sales. Asides my other expenses on that deal, that's a 60k loss. On further enquiries, imagine I found out that 250k should have gotten me more items of even better qualities. I've confirmed this on subsequent deals with your tribesmen. Which is why I told u that either u swindled me or u got swindled. You don't get paid for that on anyone's books my guy cause you're not an employee, you're a procurer - a businessman. So should I increase my losses further by paying you the quoted sum for an imaginary expense .You must not be a good business man to propose that as a resolution. The only loss I told u I was ready to bear was any loss by theft or accident on the road cause those were the instances baba mentioned. Not a loss caused by your inability to bargain properly or choice to cheat me on the deal. In fact for bringing up our private issue openly on this platform, lose my contact. I expected u to bring me a reasonable resolution. But apparently you've got nothing for me.

I shall see...You owe me money as far as am concerned. The ball in your court to do the needful. Shalom...

TanyLoe:
Trust your instincts
Some women sorry to say can be manipulative
How can u stay with two guys who aren't related to you...i once had a roommate (guy) in school, my mom had to rent another place for me because it wasn't safe
So leave all this love thing and open you eyes

very very true

Guy, you are like me. Every time I had that feeling, something was off.

You have high situational awareness and you reason very logically.

To me, your girlfriend may be sincere but all she is doing is against logic, she is the one making you suspicious with her actions.

I would be very careful with such woman though. Protect your self and your heart.

I will not lose my husband to another woman says this woman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oK805XQ0LlM