Emmanuel909090:



To me, you are very irresponsible to call your father an irresponsible man.

You are a grown man now, why are you not responsible enough to do all what your father failed to do, fool.

You are even doing POS

No need to call him fool and use insultive lash. Just advice and pass.

Kriss216:
What's the essence of struggling to attend to school when you can just get an Oluwole certificate and become the president of Nigeria.

another pained igbo

BoldBrainz:
You're a foolish young man to be bringing your father's issues to nairaland.

Wait until you experience fatherhood, then you'll understand the extent of this idiocy you have displayed.

why are u writing as if you are one of irresponsible father we have in Nigeria. If you cant train a child must you give birth? a father cannot perform his responsibilities and a young man that is struggling is trying to share his grief and you are here writing rubbish"are you married or do you have a family? if no then kindly dont contribute to this because you dont know anything about pain

Stop habit of bringing your family issues on social medias.

It is not fair. think and digest it for futuristic references.

Emmanuel909090:



To me, you are very irresponsible to call your father an irresponsible man.

You are a grown man now, why are you not responsible enough to do all what your father failed to do, fool.

You are even doing POS

he is irresponsible mr man. How do you expect the young man to grow when he keeps complaining. the sister is never his responsibilities, lets call a spade a spade, he did not father them. This man is struggling for crying out loud and they want to wreck him. he is not even financially buoyant enough and they dont want him to stand. Gosh i hate hypocrisy i swear

It feels sad

battlemant:
You're a man like him. If you can't sit and have a productive conversation with him, then there's a huge problem.

Na conversation go put money for im pocket?

E no dey, e no dey. Hu naked no dey chuk hand for pocket ooo

gunners160:
why are u writing as if you are one of irresponsible father we have in Nigeria. If you cant train a child must you give birth? a father cannot perform his responsibilities and a young man that is struggling is trying to share his grief and you are here writing rubbish"are you married or do you have a family? if no then kindly dont contribute to this because you dont know anything about pain

I have words for you, but I'll rather sit back and watch you bask in folly.

Sonnobax15:

It is well bro...

Sometimes when I look at my dad,I only wonder how he managed to do it....As in,how he managed to take care of my brothers and I after the death of my mom despite being jobless..............There was never a time we went hungry...We were even privileged to attend one of the best private school in town...Tho there were challenges along the line but it really helped shaped us into being what and who we are becoming....



Op, it's never been easy...........[/b]But trust me, there's no wicked father anywhere who would fold his hands and watch his children lack when he has the ability to solve their problem....[b]

May we become fathers and not only but the type that will be able to provide eveey basic need of our wards and our parents and every loved one 🙏

Disclaimer: Got nothing against you, just that your way of thinking is misguided and pretty flawed.

Enough of wrongheaded statements like "no parent want to harm their kid" bla bla bla. That's not only an biased take but also sentimental.

For some reasons, some adult children are erratic and guilty of neglecting their parents. The same also applies to some utterly irresponsible and eccentric parents. It goes both ways. And each case Is different.Don't come here telling people stuffs as if we are 7 year olds

You were lucky to have a good dad , good for you. But to invalidate other adult children's genuine perception about their parents is absurd. You don't leave their lives - you know next to nothing about their lived experience and their family circumstances, yet here you are saying what you know little about. As if that's not enough, you went up making ridiculous generalisation, that's pretty aggravating.


And,Why should the op trust you? Who made you an authoritative source of truth?

My guy, rest abegg.

victooman:
Since l was born, since l got to know my father it has been one complain to the other..
There was never anytime he have money or have the financial strength to Carry out any family responsibility .
After struggling to finish University with no any job l started Pos business were l am managing myself,, the constant demand is killing my business ..
Today my mother called me that my sister is about to be enrolled into secondary school and the total amount for registration is 25k, l called my dad and told him that l will try raising 15k and they should complete the remaining 10k, he started complaining on how he doesn't have money and haven't eaten since yesterday,, in fact l am tired dear Nairalanders,

you go complain tire

Just do your best and leave the rest, God will continue to bless you

victooman:
Since l was born, since l got to know my father it has been one complain to the other..
There was never anytime he have money or have the financial strength to Carry out any family responsibility .
After struggling to finish University with no any job l started Pos business were l am managing myself,, the constant demand is killing my business ..
Today my mother called me that my sister is about to be enrolled into secondary school and the total amount for registration is 25k, l called my dad and told him that l will try raising 15k and they should complete the remaining 10k, he started complaining on how he doesn't have money and haven't eaten since yesterday,, in fact l am tired dear Nairalanders,

Can you send this girl to school?
Else don't contribute. Tell them you don't have too and maybe u can grow your business first. because after reg na school uniform, chairs and table etc

victooman:
Since l was born, since l got to know my father it has been one complain to the other..
There was never anytime he have money or have the financial strength to Carry out any family responsibility .
After struggling to finish University with no any job l started Pos business were l am managing myself,, the constant demand is killing my business ..
Today my mother called me that my sister is about to be enrolled into secondary school and the total amount for registration is 25k, l called my dad and told him that l will try raising 15k and they should complete the remaining 10k, he started complaining on how he doesn't have money and haven't eaten since yesterday,, in fact l am tired dear Nairalanders,

There is nothing you can do about a deadbeat. You also CANNOT kill yourself because of family commitments.
Why can’t the person who wants to go to school also sacrifice 6months to a year to work & save to meet you halfway? You will use that opportunity to teach her delayed gratification and thinking outside the box.
Things are not easy at the moment and Nigerians need to start being innovative about how to raise money legally for important things.
What is the role of your religious bodies to raise money for moments like this? Are these religious bodies just collecting from y’all and giving nothing?!

Truthshotcrazy:

Must she attend private school? Education is free in government school. Since 25k is big deal. Get her enrolled in government secondary school

OPs, Take this Advice.
Government / Public Secondary schools are Almost Free.
They teach well too. The Only Challenge is the Population.
if she is Focused and works extra hard on her studies at home, she will come out with flying colors.
Believe me, a lot of us never went to Private School : From Primary to secondary to University.
let her Go to a Close by Community Secondary School or Grammar School

Toonice:
My own dad is even fair, but he Bleep up in some area, he retired as assistant director of DSS and he didn't take care of us as a children. Not even fixing some of us into federal job. Am struggling to survive. Sometimes I feel like taken my life because it's not easy.

Keep Pushing. Never Give up

Omoh this your post made me call my dad just now to wish him happy birthday! I can't really relate to black tax and I don't envy Nigerians that have to deal with it, my closest shave with black tax is my wife's family once in a while. Sorry bro, like they say their head will bring you blessings, hang in there!

---

The song that comes to mind is "omo to ni baba oun o la, to ni baba oun o lowo lowo, odigba to ba da ise shey, a ri bo shey rorun to o!"

Tzar:
There is nothing you can do about a deadbeat. You also CANNOT kill yourself because of family commitments.
Why can’t the person who wants to go to school also sacrifice 6months to a year to work & save to meet you halfway? You will use that opportunity to teach her delayed gratification and thinking outside the box.
Things are not easy at the moment and Nigerians need to start being innovative about how to raise money legally for important things.
What is the role of your religious bodies to raise money for moments like this? Are these religious bodies just collecting from y’all and giving nothing?!

Great !!

Ops, this is another Great Suggestion.
if she is Serious about her Ambition

victooman:
Since l was born, since l got to know my father it has been one complain to the other..
There was never anytime he have money or have the financial strength to Carry out any family responsibility .
After struggling to finish University with no any job l started Pos business were l am managing myself,, the constant demand is killing my business ..
Today my mother called me that my sister is about to be enrolled into secondary school and the total amount for registration is 25k, l called my dad and told him that l will try raising 15k and they should complete the remaining 10k, he started complaining on how he doesn't have money and haven't eaten since yesterday,, in fact l am tired dear Nairalanders,

Just shut up

OvertheTop:


OPs, Take this Advice.
Government / Public Secondary schools are Almost Free.
They teach well too. The Only Challenge is the Population.
if she is Focused and works extra hard on her studies at home, she will come out with flying colors.
Believe me, a lot of us never went to Private School : From Primary to secondary to University.
let her Go to a Close by Community Secondary School or Grammar School

Nigerians will say "What will the neighbours say!" Private schools have become the status symbol, even the kpako ones and the ones operating from a 2 bed apartment.

olamilarks:
Nigerians will say "What will the neighbours say!" Private schools have become the status symbol, even the kpako ones and the ones operating from a 2 bed apartment.

Exactly. A lot of People are always Bothered About what their Neighbors will Say or think....So Sad!

my advice might be very very harsh but if you do it; you will thank me latter in future.
1. avoid taking any family responsibilities that will kill your business. Yes, i am serious. if your father cant take care of his responsibilities let him leave it. yOU ARE NOT FINANCIAL STABLE. THEY MIGHT CALL YOU WICKED TOMORROW BUT IF YOU FALL NOBODY WILL FALL WITH YOU

2. Talk to your dad as man. Ask him what does he do with his money? what is he planning to do with what he has? if there is no tangible reason, shun him and move on with your life. Business will not pity you and nobody will have your back except you have ur own back \
3. tell your sister to attend a public school and also learn a trade. if you keep supporting everybopdy, you will not grow and you will never have a family of your own. IN FACT YOU WILL CLOCK TO 39 AND NO SAVINGS


NOBODY GAT YOUR BACK BUT ONLY YOU GAT YOUR BACK. YOUR FATHER IS ALIVE HE SHOULD MAN UP AND DO THE RIGHT THING.....

Is that you called you own father irresponsible just because he has no money? Haba!!! This is too much for the father that begat you. Does not having money amount to irresponsibility? Your turn will come. You even went to university and you still complaining over what? You should be ashamed of yourself. Maybe it's after suffering over your upbringing yet nothing to show that makes him abandon others. University education na garri,I drop out three times.

victooman:
Since l was born, since l got to know my father it has been one complain to the other..
There was never anytime he have money or have the financial strength to Carry out any family responsibility .
After struggling to finish University with no any job l started Pos business were l am managing myself,, the constant demand is killing my business ..
Today my mother called me that my sister is about to be enrolled into secondary school and the total amount for registration is 25k, l called my dad and told him that l will try raising 15k and they should complete the remaining 10k, he started complaining on how he doesn't have money and haven't eaten since yesterday,, in fact l am tired dear Nairalanders,

Why not empower him. If he isn't working, where do you expect him to get the money from

Stop giving in to all their financial demands , if not, after 5 years , you’ll just realize you’ve been working tirelessly without anything to show for it. Also, start complaining about how your business is struggling , this is to give them the impression that you don’t get the money easily , cos bro family problem no Dey finish o nails matter how much u give. And person wey never siddon no fit stretch him two legs at the same time. At this stage, only contribute what you can comfortably afford..


You’re still struggling , don’t kill your self with responsibilities else you die of depression..

When start making better money, set up business for them and send them regular pocket money ..





Drop the 15k for your sister and lock up , you’ll be surprised how they’ll provide the 10k

victooman:
Since l was born, since l got to know my father it has been one complain to the other..
There was never anytime he have money or have the financial strength to Carry out any family responsibility .
After struggling to finish University with no any job l started Pos business were l am managing myself,, the constant demand is killing my business ..
Today my mother called me that my sister is about to be enrolled into secondary school and the total amount for registration is 25k, l called my dad and told him that l will try raising 15k and they should complete the remaining 10k, he started complaining on how he doesn't have money and haven't eaten since yesterday,, in fact l am tired dear Nairalanders,

you finished university and you used the words (with no any job) in a sentence smh

victooman:
Since l was born, since l got to know my father it has been one complain to the other..
There was never anytime he have money or have the financial strength to Carry out any family responsibility .
After struggling to finish University with no any job l started Pos business were l am managing myself,, the constant demand is killing my business ..
Today my mother called me that my sister is about to be enrolled into secondary school and the total amount for registration is 25k, l called my dad and told him that l will try raising 15k and they should complete the remaining 10k, he started complaining on how he doesn't have money and haven't eaten since yesterday,, in fact l am tired dear Nairalanders,

Why she need 25k for registration for secondary school?
I think government school is free in most states.

Emmanuel909090:



To me, you are very irresponsible to call your father an irresponsible man.

You are a grown man now, why are you not responsible enough to do all what your father failed to do, fool.

You are even doing POS

Let's leave sentiments. The man is irresponsible. Google that. You shouldn't give birth to kids, you can't take care of. That is irresponsiblity. The young man is struggling for himself and he has to take care of his siblings when the father is still alive.


Just fathering children alone, does not make you 'responsible' on that fact. Take care of the kids you give birth to, if you don't want your kids to call you "irresponsible". I assure you, no child wants to call their parent, that. But, it is what it is.


Op, give your sister the 15k and leave it at that. You have done your best. Let her parents do the rest.

What is the essence of having a father that will not stand up to his responsibilities b4 attaining to a sexagenarian age? The most annoying type of this kind of father's are the ones that will be calling n disturbing their female children that have not started working or doing anything for money, that's why most young girls are into hook-up because of a failed father's family.
My brother don't kill or over stress urself cos of family wahala, do ur best for them, remember u will soon hv ur own family start now to be building urself b4 u turn to a failed father for ur unborn children.

Most nigerian fathers are irresponsible.
Thats why yoruba say, the father is father of all, while the mother is the mother of the children.

Chaii nobody understand what you are going through.

It’s so sad that the little funds you are suppose to be using to build your life is going on other things

While there are some fathers that have kid(s) they can take care of and have established themselves that they see any token from their children as just mere gifts.

Other set of fathers just give birth irresponsibly without any plan and heap all life problems on first born.

Side note: Please before you have your own kid if you want, make sure you are financially capable. You are a man and on your own. Nobody cares about your struggles as a man.

victooman:
Since l was born, since l got to know my father it has been one complain to the other..
There was never anytime he have money or have the financial strength to Carry out any family responsibility .
After struggling to finish University with no any job l started Pos business were l am managing myself,, the constant demand is killing my business ..
Today my mother called me that my sister is about to be enrolled into secondary school and the total amount for registration is 25k, l called my dad and told him that l will try raising 15k and they should complete the remaining 10k, he started complaining on how he doesn't have money and haven't eaten since yesterday,, in fact l am tired dear Nairalanders,

OP, I wasn't in anyway trying to belittle your struggle. Just that it is hard to know what to say to people whose parents are not what parents ought to be and contrary to what you may think, there are lots of irresponsible parents out there else Nigeria wouldn't be what it is today. I can only hope that you do not abandon your siblings to suffer at the hands of your parents and that you advise them to learn every bit that can from the mistakes of your parents so they don't end up repeating the same like a majority in Nigeria eventually end up doing.

You even get luck finish university, I almost dropped out of secondary school after my mother's déath, my school just pity me and pay for my waec because I sabi book, since I finished secondary school in 2018 na factory work I dey do. I just wish my mum is still alive instead of my dad