IDERAWOLE:
■ The first question to ask is: Is this woman born again? If she's not born again, of what use is the answer to your question to her?
■ She can't make use of a born again husband if she herself is not born again. If she's born again, she should know what to do with her husband now!

HUH? 🤔🤔🤔

2. She should know what to do as in she should join the 10s of millions of women equally married to cheating husbands who make up the vast majority in your churches in prayer and fasting rituals, many of whom have been at this ritual for well over a decade or more of their married lives? Is that what it is she should know to do?

Some of you are just plain wicked and have yet to even realize your wickedness!

1Sharon:


Since you're married, what will be your advise to her?

You’re not married stay off the topic. Continue with your girlfriends and leave married people alone.

Undaunted11:
■ It's because life happened. One moment in ecstasy basking in abundance of love, next moment, it's like all hell let loose. Enjoy the moment and prepare for the worst while you expect the best. Through it all, God is good.

Even worse when you realize that all the time you had been basking in ecstasy, it was just you being ignorantly foolish. Life ehn! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

sacajawea:
Really?? All the persons are the same one Person?

Yes .

Men of today are like He- goats going about mee mee looking for hole to put prick. Ewww it disgusts me. Some foolish He-goats are busy commenting "One toto no dey belleful man" so your life should be kept at stake because of one He-goat of a man?? What if the He- goat goes out and brings one deadly sexual transmitted disease and passes it to you. That means automatically you both are dead all because of the He-goat called man of a husband. Divorce him!!! Let him go on gallivanting from one hole to another since thats his destiny

Calvary247:
My husband cheats alot.
I tried communicating with him to consider my emotional and psychological well-being but he didn't really take kin interest. I have wanted to cheat back but thinking of it disgusts me. Just help with a piece of advice that will help me.


Edited: File photo used for illustration

Cheat back na. As if you are not cheating already. Get caught and be thrown out. Keep challenging him and wonder why he is seeking peace elsewhere.

nathyx:
■ Men of today are like He- goats going about mee mee looking for hole to put prick. Ewww it disgusts me. Some foolish He-goats are busy commenting "One toto no dey belleful man" so your life should be kept at stake because of one He-goat of a man?? What if the He- goat goes out and brings one deadly sexual transmitted disease and passes it to you. That means automatically you both are dead all because of the He-goat called man of a husband. Divorce him!!! Let him go on gallivanting from one hole to another since thats his destiny

In that case, it ain't the he-goat alone to blame. His wife at home who sits back and copes with him allowed the community dick of a he-goat to boink her already emotionally and psychologically damaged self after it all. Remember, it takes two to boink and since wifey is playing the coping wife, it makes sense that she would equally wish to cope with the STD her husband brings home as well.

cjudy:

You’re not married stay off the topic. Continue with your girlfriends and leave married people alone.

Yes I know I'm not married. That's why I asked you. What will be your advise to the OP?

Mariangeles:


Ooo!
Omode lo n se e.

K

Calvary247:
My husband cheats alot.
I tried communicating with him to consider my emotional and psychological well-being but he didn't really take kin interest. I have wanted to cheat back but thinking of it disgusts me. Just help with a piece of advice that will help me.


Edited: File photo used for illustration

Be wise. Cheating Cheating Cheating. Polygamy is in the Bible and Koran. Be wise. No better husbands.

Kobicove:
So long as he is playing his role as a husband and a father and he does not bring his girlfriends home my advise to you is to just look away otherwise you will give yourself HBP for nothing

Does playing his role as a husband include infecting her with diseases gotten from his girlfriend(s)? Should she look away even when her health is in red danger from his actions?

CaptainJune:
■ Does playing his role as a husband include infecting her with diseases gotten from his girlfriend(s)? Should she look away even when her health is in red danger from his actions?

OP already confesses to being emotionally and psychologically traumatized by it all. Who tell you say na when her physical health go follow too she go get sense?

immortalcrown:
How you have been coping is how to cope.

Don't listen to those who advise you to divorce him. They have no guarantee that your next husband will be better. Cheating on you is very bad. But I advise you to bear it since you don't suffer domestic violence and starvation in the marriage.

If you divorce him, men will likely take sexual turns on you until you fade and regret your life. If you cheat as a payback, you will likely suffer more emotional damages.

💯

She should Just give him a condom and ensure she protect herself as well. Some men will use their own hands to destroy their family.

I remember a case where the man got his wife and her infant child infected. The trio died leaving their older son alone to suffer in this sinful world.

weslay:
■ 💯 She should Just give him a condom and ensure she protect herself as well. Some men will use their own hands to destroy their family. I remember a case where the man got his wife and her infant child infected. The trio died leaving their older son alone to suffer in this sinful world.

Interesting!! She couldn't get him to stop cheating, but somehow she can get him to use protection every time he thinks to mount her after his side chicks have many brushed off his advances? Brilliant.

Kobojunkie:
OP already confesses to being emotionally and psychologically traumatized by it all. Who tell you say na when her physical health go follow too she go get sense?

I think Op should call the people the man respects so they can weigh in on the issue and hopefully fashion a lasting solution. She shouldn't rashly leave her marriage when she can still salvage it, but she must never have sex with him until he proves he is disease free. Her situation calls for wisdom and patience. It is said that he who comes to equity must come with clean hands. I commend her for not paying him back in kind. She may not know how that decision has saved her from a world of pain and regrets. Let her do what she can. If all else fails she can seek separation from him (not divorce) for the sake of her mental and physical health.

CaptainJune:
■ I think Op should call the people the man respects so they can weigh in on the issue and hopefully fashion a lasting solution.
■ She shouldn't rashly leave her marriage when she can still salvage it, but she must never have sex with him until he proves he is disease free.
■ Her situation calls for wisdom and patience. It is said that he who comes to equity must come with clean hands. I commend her for not paying him back in kind. She may not know how that decision has saved her from a world of pain and regrets. Let her do what she can. If all else fails she can seek separation from him (not divorce) for the sake of her mental and physical health.

If OP's opinion, the one who is the wife in the marriage, is worth absolutely nothing to the man, what does it matter if the man listens to others outside of the marriage that he supposedly respects? Marriage is between a man and a woman. Once one of the partners no longer respects the opinion of the other partner in the marriage— there is no agreement between the two —, is it still a marriage then?

2. How did you determine that she can salvage the marriage though? The man does not respect her and OP admits to already being emotionally and psychologically traumatized by the experience in marriage. Maybe she is disease-free, but is that the measure as far as whether the marriage is salvageable or not?

3. So, divorce is never to be considered even after she has ascertained that the man has completely abandoned her in marriage? Why is that?

Calvary247:
My husband cheats alot.
I tried communicating with him to consider my emotional and psychological well-being but he didn't really take kin interest. I have wanted to cheat back but thinking of it disgusts me. Just help with a piece of advice that will help me.


Edited: File photo used for illustration

I'm going to be very practical with you. I have few questions before proceeding.

1) Apart from philandering, is he a good husband? Does he provide, lead and protect the home?

2) Is he a good father? Does a he provide for the kids, and discipline them as a father figure?

3) Is he violent, uncultured and a drunk?

okoroemeka:
the worst thing you will do is to divorce your husband,I doubt if many that are advocating for divorce has ever seen the reality of marriage,just keep on talking to him about the issue in the gentlest tone as possible,don't give ultimatums or sound threatening,just try and make him see reason,if the man is a good husband and provider then just ignore him,most men including me love their family and wife so much that what they do outside is not cheating but outdoors exercise.

well said my broda

Cheat if you want but if you don't want to do that allow the man to do what makes him happy for Men Cheating is not a Crime Men has ever right to Cheat but Women don't.
Reason is Because Men Are Polygamous in Nature pls allow him to enjoy life.

Calvary247:
My husband cheats alot.
I tried communicating with him to consider my emotional and psychological well-being but he didn't really take kin interest. I have wanted to cheat back but thinking of it disgusts me. Just help with a piece of advice that will help me.


Edited: File photo used for illustration

Try these three things
Seduction
Total Submission
Don't stress him financially.

If he still continues it means two things from my perspective:
Either you did sth that made him to live his life or he's being influenced somewhere.

What do I know anyway.... Kuku carry family enter the matter. This is bigger than us

Calvary247:
My husband cheats alot.
I tried communicating with him to consider my emotional and psychological well-being but he didn't really take kin interest. I have wanted to cheat back but thinking of it disgusts me. Just help with a piece of advice that will help me.


Edited: File photo used for illustration

Unfortunately, there is no solution to it. You can only reduce it by draining him sex wise before he goes out. That way, the urge to sex with another woman out there will reduce

@OP You most likely got carried away by his sweet mouth and lavish spending.. you must have been seeing signs that the guy you were courting is a lover of women but you chose to ignore.
Sorry o, but people like that who cheat hardly change.. If your mom is not that old, such a man can sleep with her and zip his mouth.

If you decide to divorce, na small small boys go dey pass you around. Married men too will come and have their share from your cookie jar.

IDERAWOLE:


The first question to ask is: Is this woman born again?
If she's not born again, of what use is the answer to your question to her? She can't make use of a born again husband if she herself is not born again.

If she's born again, she should know what to do with her husband now!

I agree with you.

Calvary247:
My husband cheats alot.
I tried communicating with him to consider my emotional and psychological well-being but he didn't really take kin interest. I have wanted to cheat back but thinking of it disgusts me. Just help with a piece of advice that will help me.


Edited: File photo used for illustration

listen to me carefully. Don't ever beg him again. Infact start living a quiet and mysterious life. Ignore him to the core.

Start taking very good care of yourself. Dress sweetly. If you have a high voice, my sister is time to start using very low and sweet voice. Pretend as if you are not pained. Keep respecting him, cook and serve him his food on time. Never cheat back , it's belittling

At night, dress sexily , make friends, good friends that you can chat with. My sister, take your phone and start chatting with these friends of yours. While doing so, laugh loudly and make comments like, don't you know am married, thanks for saying am beautiful etc, do this for two weeks and come back , let me give you more tips.

Before I go, I hope you are tight , wet nd sweet down there? Do you moan or you are the quiet type. Pls dear, be mysterious e.g always be tight, next time for action, my sister be slimy, next one again do pussy locking ( Kegel) while at it. Brb

Calvary247:
My husband cheats alot.
I tried communicating with him to consider my emotional and psychological well-being but he didn't really take kin interest. I have wanted to cheat back but thinking of it disgusts me. Just help with a piece of advice that will help me.


Edited: File photo used for illustration

Did ur husband chop u in ur prime or u gave urself for free to different boyfriends and only got married at 35? Expecting ur husband to only be chopping leftovers? Does that sound fair to you? Is it fair to be stuck with someone in physical decline
when you never would hv given him the time of the day. So long as he treats you well, is a good husband and father just let him be and hv his fun

unfortuately as an Nigerian woman based in Nigeria, its a taboo for your gender to cheat after marriage. because ur man pays the bills including taking care of u. kpele for that.

why not jst buy some condom for protection, advice him to do it far from the family houz and lastly remove ur mind.

or better still tell him to send u and the kids abroad.

You want to take advice from bitter people..
You want to crash your marriage all by yourself..

Sandralight:


Divorce him he obviously don't care about you and don't listen to those men that will advice to stay because if the tables were turn, they will be the first to tell the husband to leave you.
The truth is most men can't take when they diss out, they expect women to take their cheating bullshit because to them we don't have feelings, you staying in a marriage with constant cheating will affect you mentally and emotionally in the long run, you will become a shadow of yourself and many people that goes through this usually dies young from High blood pressure and studies have shown that stress causes some cancers, do you want to keep living a life where you will be in constant stress and pain because of your husband.

I always tell people life is too short to be so unhappy, marriage is supposed to be a union, a happy union and if one is hurting the other, it's better to leave because Trust me if you cheat once you husband will never forgive you, so just leave forget all those talk of nobody want a divorce woman because they are fear mongering tactics to keep your unhappy in a loveless marriage.

Try to build yourself, become financial independent and you will surely meet the one that will make you happy and always remember life is too short to be unhappy

So in your self-delusions men and women are the same? Smh.

I'm really grateful to you oh lord for making me a MAN. And one of the exclusive right you have given me for being a MAN is to proudly have lots of sexual options,because of fun and easing of stress.

Whether married or not it's our birth-right as men to have as much sexual options as we desire,and even flaunt it. If you don't like it you can go to hell.

Kobojunkie:
LOL.. but all I did in my response was stress the exact same points you had made earlier....🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I am glad you at least note for yourself how completely void of anything, in reality, your own words truly are.

2. Not as complicated yet you have yourself tried several attempts to make it exactly that by pretending OP's actions need be based on what other women in the reason have done in their own marriages. You are not the brightest cookie over there, are you?

3. Up until this point in this entire conversation, I have not used the word Divorce or even hinted at it. OP asked how to cope and I have been careful to explain to her the how and the implications of such an action.

4. Yes, @OP, so long as he does not physically or verbally abuse you, the emotional and psychological trauma that has resulted from his lack of respect for you and cheating on you is your worth in marriage in the Nigerian context. However, if you dare to cheat on your husband, that man will unleash hell on you for daring to emotionally and psychologically traumatize him in such a manner.

Unfortunately the implications are different for men. It is not the only one though; responsibilities and so many other things are not the same as it is with women.
Many will imply that society made it so, but is it really society!
The reality is that one stands a good chance of missing out if one goes against the norm.
I know of men that believe they will only get married when they find a woman who’s ready to share equal marital responsibilities. They are still waiting. That’s what happens when one goes against the tide.
Society didn’t make it so. It is just the model.

komzy589:
■ Unfortunately the implications are different for men. It is not the only one though; responsibilities and so many other things are not the same as it is with women. Many will imply that society made it so, but is it really society! The reality is that one stands a good chance of missing out if one goes against the norm. I know of men that believe they will only get married when they find a woman who’s ready to share equal marital responsibilities. They are still waiting. That’s what happens when one goes against the tide.
Society didn’t make it so. It is just the model.

Stop using my mention to continue this yammering abeg! 🤔

None of this directly addresses any of the concerns raised in my previous post so why tag me in this? So, what gives?

fyzaila:
In your last post you said you were enjoying your marriage to the fullest, now watta gwan??

eagle eyes

1Sharon:


Yes I know I'm not married. That's why I asked you. What will be your advise to the OP?

She have family, she gat in-laws. She should go and report and seek a possible solution to her problem. Nairaland is not a marriage class.