Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.

I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.

We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.

My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.

Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.


The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.

This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.

Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.

I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse.

Is it that you didnt know your wife doesnt like to kiss or what.

Abeg divorce, and let's breathe. Moreover they said "Marriage is no benefit to them,
They don't need love,
Women don't have anything to offer" , yet they will be clingy and asking for help once they see the wife no send their popsi.

tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.

I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.

We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.

My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.

Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.


The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.

This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.

Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.

I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse.

Feel free to quote me on an empty thread if you would like a complimentary one-on-one session to discuss strategies for salvaging your marriage.

In the meantime, please take the time to carefully read the following information and identify the key issues that have impacted your relationship with your wife.

____________________________
The leading causes of divorce can vary depending on cultural, social, and individual factors, but several common reasons are frequently cited. Here are some of the primary causes:

1. **Lack of Communication**:
- Poor communication can lead to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and emotional distance.

2. **Infidelity**:
- Extramarital affairs often lead to a breakdown of trust and intimacy.

3. **Financial Problems**:
- Disagreements over money, debt, and spending habits can cause significant stress in a marriage.

4. **Lack of Intimacy**:
- Emotional and physical disconnect can make partners feel unloved and unimportant.

5. **Constant Conflict and Arguing**:
- Persistent disagreements and unresolved conflicts can erode the relationship over time.

6. **Unrealistic Expectations**:
- When partners have unrealistic expectations of each other or the marriage, it can lead to disappointment and frustration.

7. **Lack of Equality**:
- Imbalances in responsibilities, decision-making, and contributions to the relationship can cause resentment.

8. **Substance Abuse**:
- Addiction to drugs, alcohol, or other substances can lead to destructive behavior and neglect of responsibilities.

9. **Domestic Violence and Abuse**:
- Physical, emotional, or psychological abuse can make it unsafe and intolerable to remain in the marriage.

10. **Incompatibility**:
- Over time, couples may find they have grown apart and have different goals, values, or lifestyles.

11. **Life Changes and Stress**:
- Major life changes, such as moving, career changes, or the death of a loved one, can put a strain on the marriage.

12. **Lack of Commitment**:
- A lack of dedication to the relationship can cause it to deteriorate when challenges arise.

13. **Mental Health Issues**:
- Untreated mental health problems can lead to significant strain on a marriage.

Addressing these issues often requires open communication, counseling, and a willingness to work on the relationship from both partners.

It appears this woman is disgusted with you

My dear send her parking immediately . Let her go stay alone and live life as she likes..The woman no be wife material...U will omly end up been misrrable if u try to patch her along...let her go now

If you are sure that this behaviour of hers was not triggered by you then your wife most likely has a personality disorder.

Read all you can on narcissistic personality disorder and take an informed decision.

Priotize your children's needs in any decision you are taking.

Hang out more often with her like she suggested and pray together as a family too.

Leave your colleague alone. As a man, try as much as possible never to mix business with pleasure.

Always remember that you can never have it all in life.

Marriage isn't for the faint-hearted at all.

Na wa

Dexy4yah:
Your husband is doing ok financially and doesn't cheat on you. He takes care of you and the kids but yet you are still giving him attitude for no reason.

Some women get problem aswear.


She is one of those women that worship their pastors but at home they disrespect their husbands.
Please don't joke with your peace of mind...if she's tired of the marriage...show her the exit door.
This life is too short for someone to be taking away your peace of mind.

Hmmm. Don't weight the scales until you have heard both bells ring.

You noticed his initial statement 'I am not perfect either.' When people complain, they tend to focus more on the flaws and actions of others rather than their own.

You should hear from the wife first.

tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.

I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.

We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.

My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.

Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.


The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.

This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.

Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.

I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse.

Where is your location? I can recommend a counsellor to you if you're in the southwest.

As a guy abeg marry a woman who loves you more for your peace of mind. Let your woman choose you.

tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.

I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.

We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.

My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.

Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.


The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.

This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.

Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.

I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse.

My only problem with you is your stupidity and nativity to thinking or believing that she's not CHEATING on you, just because "she can go to church 10 times in a week"....
Yet, your wife prefers to be on her phone than anything that concerns you.
What do you think she's doing on her phone? Playing candy crush?

Do you know the people she's talking to? What kind of communication she's having?
Do you have access to her phone?
Do you know her password?

You seem to know nothing about women...
It will surprise you that in that your 6 years marriage, there are other years of relationships with other men you know nothing about... Even the ones older than your relationship and marriage with her...

No woman feels comfortable in a toxic environment or marriage, unless she's having an affair with others outside and she's enjoying it.
It could be with her ex
Her pastor
Her church member
Or boss...


It's even possible you're not the father of one or both children you think you have together.

If you doubt me, try hacking her phone and seriously monitor her for just 3 months and you'll find all the answers you're looking for.
Life is already too complicated and you don't have to allow one winch of a wife to be stressing you more.
If you can't find peace with her, DUMP HER! Forget about the children, they'll be fine as long as you take care of them and take good responsibility for their care. You don't have to be with their mother to do that.

The best thing is to cease that woman away. She can never stop that habit because she's religions. For your peace of mind divorced her and look for the woman that will give you peace. Or else you will die before your time. She's a complete toxic woman rawbish

Throw her away.

Don't send her away pls. She will help you print your obituary posters

I can't recommend divorce because of your kids but how sure are you that she hasn't found love outside your marriage like you did ?
Well , i advise you to talk to her after going to marriage counselling and if it still doesn't work mention the idea of a divorce and watch her reaction

Bro don't west your time on counselling, i'm 100% sure your wife will never change. Divorce her abeg. Even God know me i can't west my time on that kind rubbish women. Divorce her oo, if not you will die before your time.

Go to your bathroom mirror

Take a good look at yourself and see that you are an incredibly STUPID MAN
Just accept this truth and you have solved 40% of your problems.

Accepting that you were a BIG fool to marry someone without due diligence is the first step.

Society use marriage to punish Men
If you think society likes men
Then you are a bigger fool

If war happen, society don't give a Bleep about man Straight to the warfront. Go and die

If you try divorce your wife. Society tag the man as cheater, womanizer
If s woman try divorce you, they congratulate her for escaping an evil man

But guess what Many men will still fall for this trap called Marriage.

Even if 1 sheep outsmart the butcher,
it won't stop the other sheep's from getting slaughtered.

Many many men will fall in this trap
And many many more threads will be created

That's why they make you fools kneel down and propose. Which is not an African thing

Imported western ideology That Society supports because it humiliates the Man making a huge mockery by kneeling down.

80% of men are very very foolish when it comes to understanding women.
From a very young age girl notice how clueless and dump many boys are
Girls from age 5 are far smarter than boys

I have seen the most brilliant highest IQ First Class Men that can solve everything in the world but when it comes to women.
They have the biggest mistakes ever

First of all
A Woman can NEVER LOVE YOU
She can get a "Feeling of Love" for you but she doesn't LOVE you.
When that feeling reduce, the live is GONE.
It doesn't matter if you carry the whole world on your shoulders for her
Once that "feeling" of Love reduce...Otilor

That is why MAN will support a club that loss back to back
But a woman will switch club immediately her club start losing back to back

Women are not BUILT TO LOVE
They are built TO RECIEVE LOVE NOT GIVE IT
Only time this rule is broken is for her child
What is love?
Love is liking a person no matter the condition,no matter their behavior, no matter their past.
The only people that can give you this love is your mother/father and Jesus Christ

A man in love is a foolish man 100%
That is why Mothers fight to make sure their sons don't end up with the wrong woman.

Because mother's are females too
And they understand that Men in general are very clueless when it comes to female nature

Mothers understand the true nature and manipulation of the average female specie.


Your wife's love is the same as 80 to 90% of marriages in Nigeria.
It's called Conditional LOVE built on "Feelings"



A Woman is not built to give Love to man
They are only built to receive Love from MAN
But to give Love, they can't.
The only person they can give Love to is the children.

As for Marriage Consuling
If your wife suggest marriage counseling
Just know your Marriage is DEAD

Marriage Counseling is the biggest fraud in the same fraud as marriage.
They work hand in hand

She already knows the marriage is Dead
But Men being very clueless despite the warning signs will still be asking us question.

She is suggesting Marriage counseling as a tactics to delay the obvious fact that the marriage is Dead.
She is waiting for you to get the Hint
But your mumu strong pass 5G

And for other men

A Man without OT in this world MUST SUFFER
OT is not gotten from school, PHd and others
As a Man endeavor to have OT or else YOU MUST SUFFER .
Women you use your life and turn it upside down and I fully support women on this.

Some men MUST learn the hard way

Dexy4yah:
Your husband is doing ok financially and doesn't cheat on you. He takes care of you and the kids but yet you are still giving him attitude for no reason.

Some women get problem aswear.


She is one of those women that worship their pastors but at home they disrespect their husbands.
Please don't joke with your peace of mind...if she's tired of the marriage...show her the exit door.
This life is too short for someone to be taking away your peace of mind.

There's always two sides to a story. The woman might not be this extreme in her bad behaviours but when she pulled off these ones it got stucked in the man's memory and that's all his head gives him about his wife. For me is impossible for a woman to become this extreme in behaviour if the husband is a saint or if she's not seeing another guy against what the husband thinks. They need proper counselling and I strongly feel the husband is already 90% ready to go the cheating Lane and is only a matter of time. Sadly the marriage is too shaky and looks to inevitably crash.

My simple question is, was there any atom of courtship before jumping into this ship or both of you dumped that important class and went ahead with marriage just like that?

tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.

I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.

We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.

My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.

Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.


The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.

This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.

Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.

I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse.

This one na REAL Man aka Intentional Man.. you go too suffer for that marriage No be curse..
You will try everything to make peace and harmony in your home but it won't work..
Emotional men like you without logical reasoning will always suffer..
Now na Morning.. she go wreck your mental health till you become paranoia and out of line.. then she will use the things you did when you went out of line to nail you to the cross..

Pls continue begging her to allow you both love in peace snd harmony.. continue begging her to love you and respect you, tjat is how Real men like you do..
Enjoy Mr Real Man..

tomi4life:
…….Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback.

Oga you noticed this during courtship and you still put chuk head.

Kings, when you noticed these even once; she doesn’t listen, she is not supportive or add value to you in any way, she has ego and won’t make amend upon getting feedback. run oo.

Leave her be, let her began an evening newspaper has God has destined her to be.

tomi4life:
The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit.

You must be joking right. These are the real cheats. This is a major red flag for me. Spending more time in Church than with your family

@OP
There is another bull in the ring

traware:
@OP

There is another bull in the ring

I swear it's not me

It appears this woman is disgusted with you ... Huh, need help with your academic papers? Contact us.

tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.

I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.

We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.

My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.

Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.


The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.

This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.

Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.

I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse.

Forget counselling. For the fact that she isn't even eager to discuss the problem, it means she isn't bothered. Marriage is ought to be enjoyed, if there is compatibility issue, run oooh. No be by force. If you have a good wife @ home, you need not cheat.

I think you too need to go off alone on a holiday.
Leave the kids. Take a week of. Do the things you used to do before you got married. Have a lot of sex, get drunk, play rough. I can bet you, you will be back....

Counseling never works.
Nobody knows the both of you better than the both of you. Counselor will only advised based on what he learnt in school and experience with other couples, they can never give you adviced based on your personality because they dont know you. What works for couple never works for B.

The whole idea of a vacatiom is for too to be away from whatever distracts you from each other and focus on each other.
Phones aside
Kids aside
Work aside
Church aside.

All this epistle on top spark you catch with your office girl

You will be alright

Oh! I pity this guy. You never know 9ja girls! They are very good in hiding under religion to commit great havock.

Trust me, you wife is seriously cook something for you. Divorce her now before she will serve you what she is cooking.

Don't go to any councilor, they will only make you tolerate your wife till she finishes what she is cooking for you. Infact, let me tell you the truth, those children aren't yours.

If you are a married man out there, go and divorce you wife now before is too late.

The bottom line is that all 9ja girls are not marriageable. They are all ashawo. Some do it codedly others do it openly. Even the church girls, if you know how them they jump from prick to prick , fear go catch you.

That you haven't caught you wife/girlfriend doing ashawo work doesn't mean she is not an ashawo.

When was the last time you check those hookup apps?

You both a need a strong spiritual father to talk sense into you..... Your wife is hiding something from you I hope you look for competent man Of God to take up your case.. ..