I remember getting into a shopping-mall sometimes ago with the intention of picking just three provision items for the family. At the end of the day, I didn’t limit my purchase to just the milk, beverage and a pack of corn flakes that I originally wanted to buy, but in addition, I picked up some hair accessories, a wine-coloured bead and a set of green boxer’s short which I never planned for. What an impulsive buyer!

 Also Read: Dear About-To-Weds, Don’t Confuse Shared Interests With Values

Getting home that evening, the first thing that came out of my wife’s mouth was that we didn’t need those items at that time! I never bother to listen to her because I felt she was just displaying her natural ability to properly manage things and I was not in the mood for that sermon at all. As far as I was concerned, I saw what I liked and I went for them. Later, I began to see how wasteful I was when the boxer’s shorts didn’t size my son and on getting back to the mall to change them to a more appropriate size, I was told that as a policy, they don’t change under-wears! Till now, the beads are still lying at home and I can’t remember my daughters using them for more than twice in the last 24 months because the colours are not really appealing. The worst part of it was that I completely forgot I had a laundry guy who would bring my clothes home that night. What I was left with couldn’t pay him for the services rendered, so I had to ask him to come for his money the following day. What went wrong? I simply substituted what I wanted for the things I needed!

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Broadly speaking, a need is something you can’t live without to survive. Simply put, a need sustains you; to sustain is to strengthen physically or mentally, help, support, encourage, assist, preserve and nurture. You will agree with me that these are the major things that partners do for each other that reproduce happiness in their relationships. While wants on the other hand, are things we might wish to have but don’t necessarily contribute to our survival. They could be referred to as things that just entertain us which we can do without like jewelleries, expensive cars, gadgets, alcoholic drinks etc. To entertain is to amuse, feed, divert, delight, cheer and play. So many partners are not adding values to each other but are just there to amuse and cheer each other which produce nothing. At the end of the day, you still find out that a large important vacuum is being left un-filled. If we try to look at some of the items we have acquired, we would discover that a lot of them don’t really deserve the kind of attention we gave them when we wanted to acquire them initially. They look like what we needed to survive at the onset but at the end of the day;

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