.

Marry who you love.

Your parents WILL accept her in due course.

.

marry your woman. she will cook good ofe nsala.

do they dislike this girl just becuse she's Igbo or is there anything else?
If not,your mom is a typical tribalist and may never change.
Are you prepared to marry a wife and cut off all ties with your family ?
What do her parents say?
Because believe me no parents of any girl would gladly give their daughter to a man  with such close minded parents and siblings.

We all know in our culture a married woman basically has married her inlaws too.
This girl will be miserable in the midst of your family members,would not want them near her and her children.
May not want to even dring "pure water" from them for fear of juju.
She may not want them at the wedding,naming ceremonies,or any gatherings and pretty soon,it will hurt you too.
You may think love will take care of it,but honey,love is not the answer here.

My advice.

1.Talk to an aunt,uncle,close relative,family friend who can understand your dilemma
2.Tell them in all sincerity how you feel about this girl
3.go with them to your parent's house and plead your case.

I would not advice you to marry any girl without your parent's consent.
You need their blessings.
Your siblings are totally inconsequential in the matter.
I wonder how your mom was able to get your dad on the "hating corner" that is rather strange.
A man is usually the head of the home.

I wish you the best.

If I were the woman,I don't know if I'll be so keen on marrying a man that will basically dissociate from his family because of me.
I can imagine when the honey moon is over,next thing the man will tell you how he should have listened to his parents.

Here's my advice to you, listen to your mom as Judge Judy will always say" in ten years there's a chance you won't even remember what this girl looks like, but your Mom you'd always remember.

Also Igbos like money too much and are 419ers.

OgidiBoy:

Here's my advice to you, listen to your mom as Judge Judy will always say" in ten years there's a chance you won't even remember what this girl looks like, but your Mom you'd always remember.

Also Igbos like money too much and are 419ers.

What is the meaning of that comment about Igbos?

RichyBlacK:

What is the meaning of that comment about Igbos?

Relax I'm not giving mouth to mouth if you pass out here I was just being sarcastic

OgidiBoy:


Also Igbos like money too much and are 419ers.

I am a NOT sorry to say this but this is a MUMU comment.

apocalypse:



The problem now is,
How do I convince them to accept her
Being a naturally rebellious person,I have decide to go on with plans and damn all consequences.I WILL NOT BOW! I WILL NOT BEND! IWILL NOT BREAK!!!

The JOB at hand is that they MUST admit her. Try all negotiation skills you can employs, also persuade BUT most importantly look beyond the ethnic thing. Maybe your mother is worried about another thing apart from her tribe.

But if it is ONLY her tribe that is the excuse,,,,,,,abeg GO AHEAD

20 years from now it just you and your wife ohhhh. You will probably spend more time with your wife than your parents

deor03:

I am a NOT sorry to say this but this is a MUMU comment.

If it hurts you that much then bite me!!! I'm sure your lame ass was too ignorant to notice my post just before yours telling RichyBlack I was only being "Sarcastic" go look up what that means dumb fu^k.

Be more responsible with your posts and stop inciting ethnic division, even if you suddenly realise that you were Sarcastic

If you are not matured enough to advice the young man, then cross to the other side ( sexuality)

_{saying nothing more after this on this issue please}

Am sure all mothers say so.
My mum said the same -
her first child married Bendel man.
second child married an igbo woman
third child married hausa

so u see we love our mum but she shouldnt decide for u.
Get family members to talk to her and if she still doesnt budge, then do what you gotta do - she wont have a choice she will have to be at the wedding.

.

Mums can be like that, why dont u sit with her alone and ask her what her fears are.

Cause it would be lovely to have peace for the wedding otherwise your wife would feel the strain.

just curious. Is your mum one of those that make spiritual checks and findings, and maybe she has been told in a church or mosque that the marriage may run into problem in the future then you may better think twice.

Then there is also a mother's instinct and we men don't pick this up quickly and it is important as well.

So, I will ask you to pray very hard yourselves and find out the will of God because Yoruba people in general are not against inter - tribal marriage.

Infact it used to be the other way round when IGBO people we refuse blessing for their children to marry Yoruba in particular and sometimes Hausa's but things are changing.

I hope it is just mere tribal bashing by your mum and you can get your Uncles and Aunties to prevail upon her.  

Good luck

osisi gave a very good advice and I think you should stick to what she said

Your mind is already made up and I do hope you are convinced and convicted for the right reasons. However, let your strong convictions be in your heart, do not make a confrontational issue or make it very obvious that you have taken a stand. At the end of the day no one can make you change your mind but you have to apply diplomacy and win your family over. You would need all the inter-personal and conflict resolutions skills you can lay your hands on.

It is important to have both parents consents and blessings before going ahead with your marriages. If both of you are convinced you are doing the right thing, no need to hurry it up. You will have the whole of your lives to live.

Marriage is more than sex and companionship you would need family support and prayers along the way. You would be putting you wife to be in a dangerous position with you family and at the end of the day it will all come back to you.

Your mum may have her reasons, she doesn't have to see reason with you but you can relate to her to the point where she gives you her blessing. Over time you should be able to prove to her that you made the right decision by how your marriage unfolds.

Marry your love!  Your mother married hers!  The days of matchmaking and arranging marriages are over.  If all else fails--at least you know your mistake is yours!

Do not disrespect your mother, but make her understand that this lady makes you happy.  If she continues to antagonize your girlfriend for no reason--banish her to the village where she belongs before she destroys your marriage!

Your mom may have her reasons, fine! You did not give us any concrete reasons why your mom "dislikes Igbos"!  She can disllike them all she wants--that is her business. It is not her place to choose a spouse for you.  If she loves you like a mother, whe would give you the necessary advice and support you need even when things are not going well.  If you have one of those mothers that meddle and like to control their sons, I hope you are not one of those guys that will cave into their mom's whims and caprices as a signs of weakness.

You are the one going to marry this lady--Igbo or otherwise!  Not your mother!

One of the keys to a man's success in life is having a loving spouse.  You mother cannot fill that role.

Goodluck!

think it has a lot to do with the tribal stereotypes thats been associated with the diffrent tribes over the years,my dad is indiffrent to whoever,so ill go ahead and get married to the girl i love if i were you and i assure you once they see its real love and the ibo girl behaves contrary to their opinion they ll change their attitude and especially when u gys have ur first child

to all of u trying to copy western culture/lifestyle, £$%&*"^!~#><,.

just because uve been exposed or experienced the western culture does not mean family values and tradition should be over looked. I am igbo and would not advise anyone to go ahead with a marriage if the questionof OSU crops up. i do not care what anyone thinks, u can make ur parents see things from a different angle. it may take time but u must persevere. since when did african (espcially nigerian) values become hog wash? the same pple that tell u get married to the u love withouth the consent of ur parents will be the ones to laugh and talk about if and when u walk out of the registry or church without ur parents blessings.

dude, i know u love the girl but u need to get ur parents on ur side. start the easiest one which i believe is ur dad. speak to an aunty,friend, relative that closest to ur mum or dad and forget these pple that are saying 'marry who u love'.

u pple piss me off man

.

apocalypse:

@omo ibo

what if I fail to convince them?,would you still advice I leave the girl.I'd rather go on with plans and live with the consequences.I wouldn't want to blame myself for the rest of my life thinking I should have maried the girl I love.

i no go suggest to u wetin u go do. but please please and please i take Baba God name beg make u no marry any babe without ur parents consent. if u value ur family, tradition and even ur religion make u no go ahead with the marriage if ur parents no support am.

if i were in ur shoes, i'll stop at nothing to make them see reason. aunties, uncles, friends etc etc etc, do something , anything man!

Here's my advice to you, listen to your mom as Judge Judy will always say" in ten years there's a chance you won't even remember what this girl looks like, but your Mom you'd always remember.
Also Igbos like money too much and are 419ers.


What is the meaning of that comment about Igbos?

@ogidiboy
I wonder why some people will lack manner even when serious matter is being discussed.If your not yet old enough to be part of this forum,why not look for a younger minded forum.where you can insult your mates and call it 'sarcastic'.Just tell me what is sarcastic about this statement.Or you just say somehing serious and then turn round to say you are being sarcastic.
Worst still,you don't know how to say sorry,in your reply,where you are supposed to say i am sorry,you rather choose to use the F word.How can you be so vulgar to somebody you don't even know.
I mean,do you think before saying some of this things that you say.Please TRIBALIST,we are not discussing tribe here,we dont want to know which tribe is better or not.we are discussing the way forward,chikena!.Ask your dad how to behave in the public.it may save your ass one day.

OgidiBoy (m)
Irving Texas.
Posts: 185

Offline

  Re: Mum's Against My Marrying My Igbo Girlfriend
« #6 on: January 26, 2008, 03:01 AM » 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's my advice to you, listen to your mom as Judge Judy will always say" in ten years there's a chance you won't even remember what this girl looks like, but your Mom you'd always remember.

Hmmmmmmmm!

I guess in 10 years time he might remember what her cootchie looks like but I pray he never remembers what his mama's looks like!

_{Ma im mama im go chop?}

^^^^^^ garbage!