₦airaland Forum

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Mortiple:
During my last visit to my hometown during the last Xmas, a female relation of mine who is based in Abuja informed me that she was getting married. “Congrats! Who is the lucky man", I asked with curiosity. She revealed how she fell in love with a Yoruba guy from the locality of Baba Adedibu of Amala Politics fame (apology to all concerned).

Did I hear you ask "what is wrong with that?" Please hear me out and read their profiles as hereunder:

Igbo Girl: 28 years, Christian, speaks Igbo and English, grew up in Igboland, School Cert. holder; Parents: alive, retired and practising Christians.

Yoruba Boy: 33 years, Great One, speaks Yoruba and English, grew up in Yorubaland, ND Holder; Parents: alive, staunch Great Ones M_U_S_L_I_M_S.

CHALLENGES: Parents of both are not in support of their relationship/marriage. They cited CULTURAL/TRIBAL and RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES.

DISAPPOINTMENT: The Bobo has promised to visit the girl’s family overtime with his people (as tradition demands) but had failed on every occasion. Meanwhile, both of them have been living together ever since they met.

Fellow Nairalanders: The girl has sought for my counsel. What do you think? Should they go ahead and get married? Are their parents reasons justified?

Please consider: the significance of parental consent; tribal and religious differences; exposure of both parties (school cert VS ND holders); both home grown etc

classical recipe for disaster. a no go area. this marriage will fail b4 it takes off.
the problem is not igbo vs yoruba.
it is not ND vs school cert.
it is not 33yrs vs 28yrs

the problem is conservative xtain vs staunch m_u_s_l_i_m_s
the biggest problem is bilateral parental disapproval

the girl will be damned if she enters into such a marriage

I don't believe either of them are practising their respective religions in the first place so the issue here is not religious differences. If they were both practising, would they live with each other while they are unmarried? In Islam, premarital relationships are a big no-no; and I'm sure it's disapproved of in christianity too. Since they are both non-practising, there is no big issue of religious incompatibility.

BUT their parents disapprove. It's not a good idea to start a relationship that your family is against. Its a recipe for disaster; when you get married, you are, in effect, marrying the family. In-laws who hate you are people to be scared of. Especially from a female's perspective. So advice your relative not to go where she's not wanted. The issues of education, ethnicity, etc are nothing. The crucial issue here is that both sets of parents are against it. I'm Yoruba and I would marry anyone from any RACE (not just tribe) if it's the right person for me BUT I will RUN away from any man whose parents do not LOVE me. It has a great impact on the success of the marriage and, most importantly, on the wife's happiness.

Tell your relative to stay away from trouble, o. love is not enough sometimes; especially when in-laws want to make your life hell.

why should she embark on a suicide mission?
what a stupid love that will lead her into a life full of agony.
tell her to start making herself visible to Emeka and Nnamdi to notice rather than alaye boys.

if am in her shoes,as painful as it may be,i wudnt go into the marriage.cant miss out my parents blessings,go tru in-law palaver and denouce my religion all cos of love,no,its too big a sacrifice to make cos of love.

this is not love. this is stupidity. lust. crush.infatuation. senselessness. anything but love. i can not bring any girl my parents wont like. b/c i love my parents, i will also want them to be happy. and i love them b4 i even met or loved any girl. why would i break my parents heart just b/c of a girl i'm not even sure that she'll love me tomorow?

this is madness. tell that girl to come back home immediately b/c if she rebels and goes ahead with that disaster, when yawa go gas(and it surely will) she go dey on her own o

love my foot