₦airaland Forum

EFFECTIVE OCTOBER 1, 2008

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to
your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a
Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially
and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your
money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and
therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need
to be and therefore you do not need a raise.


Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every
effort should be made to have non-employees attend the
funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where
employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be
scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and
subsequently leave one hour early.


Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the
stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders'
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sectioned under the company's mental health policy.


Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need
to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a
balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's
all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.


Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.


The Management
Pass this on to all who are employed!

FUNNY

u gat me rollin with laughter

Gud'o

They all said its good.

majority carry the vote.

i read this sometimes last year

webdezzi:
i read this sometimes last year

Dont worry , read it again.
Just laugh.
Thats the name of the game.

what made me laff was d toilet part, if ur caught smiling ur a mental

ademiller:
what made me laff was d toilet part, if your caught smiling your a mental

its a lie.

i saw your picture, you were smiling there.

MENTAL!

i resign

Now thats a joke!

Jeovy your company na die

bad conditions,
i resign

Resign na, ur only going to get jopless

correct

Chioya,whats your lunch break time?

she skips lunch .
so the money for the food will be added to the salary.

Stingy girl

SAM MILLA:
she skips lunch .
so the money for the food will be added to the salary.

hahahaha,Sam,you seem to be speaking from experience

before nko?

SAM MILLA MY NAME SAKE MIND YA MOUTH O, U MIGHT B INSULTIN A DISTANT COUSIN OF URS O

THe miller's family

The Hitler Miller's offsprings

Gbam!

chai!

@jeovy

my lunch break time is 12-1pm

@sam milla

dont know what to say to u,i will get back to u

@infobaba
watch ur ugly tongue

@ademiller
distant cousin my foot

Distant offspring.

@ chioya, was i referrin or talkin to u, so y dat shit reply


@migines ad so wat?



@cbase , i think i ave no reply for u


@infobaba, ye ke!!!

The Milla's always have been Tongue-tied.

where you drivin at sef?

@ademiller,


if u dont like it here, why not switch over to Romance or sexuality section to show some talents,
nobody send u here o  
and make u try dey speak wetin person fit understand afterall nor be only u go school pass