₦airaland Forum

flokii:
@OP Your sister's husband needs all the help he can get to overcome his gambling addiction.. I don't think it's a good advice asking your sis to leave him.
Why not ask the both family elders to call him for a meeting and give him advice or let him see a counselor. Men scarce outside o.

His family knows. They told my sister to keep praying for him that his problem is a spiritual problem. They don't want my sister to leave, cos she has really been helping him.

If there's solution I also don't want her to leave.

cbaba:
Your whole story is the man is bad and your sister is the hero...how do u know so much about your sister marriage life. What is your role in this their relationship? Are you sure you havent been taking sides & telling her what to do?

Are you married yourself? Will you easily do this to your husband? He embezzled 5m and got away with it...we no go hear this o.

My advice you wanted is stay away and face your life. She Him and they will figure it out.

I'm guessing you are ignorant but YOU are bad for them. Stay away!

Will you read the long story if I start narrating how they settled the money? He was locked up for almost a month. His brother in law and sister had to take loans from the bank before the money was settled. They're still paying the money till today.

My sister is actually the hero. The man is lazy, I am one of the reasons they're still together.

It seems you're also that kind of man.

edoman2016:
How old is your sister's husband?

He should be around 37 or 38 and my sister is 31 with a body of 27

Prettiepearlz:
She has tried at this point. This is more than giving space. She should leave him because he will never change as he is a chronic gambler, serial borrower and a thief. He will never change until he realizes that he has a problem and from your story, he is yet to realize that.

You're right he's yet to realize.

He once message me, accusing me of teaching his wife not to support him. Telling me not to interfere in his marriage but knowing we are the one keeping the marriage for him. I never told my sister about the said message.

Richy4:
In my opinion, your advise was in order...But will your sister agree to leave?

The next thing you will hear is ...I'm staying because of my kids ....If you act as if you were pressurizing her she will get pregnant again and start pretending to be happy whenever she sees you people..

MRS as a title is not really easy to let go you know?... Some women will rather die just to retain that title

She's actually tired of the whole thing but stayed because of our parents and to avoid people talking behind her.

Acidosis:
Your sister hasn't done 1/10th of the things this lady (I mentioned) did for her then husband, yet the man did not change.

You all have to find a way to convince your parents to talk to him. If he fails to correct his behaviour after sometime (maybe a year or six month), then there would be no need keeping that marriage.

Well-done, Rolake.

Thank you sir

Acidosis:
Well, the hard truth is that your sister's husband may never change. Someone I know in a similar situation managed her husband for over 25 years. At the end of the day, she left the chronic drunkard and gambler after wasting 25 years of her life trying to clean up the pig he called husband.

Don't allow your sister to ruin her life because of marriage. It is not too early to walk away.

And please, you guys should stop getting married to people you barely know. Unless you both live together 24/7 under a roof, one year is certainly NOT enough to know the key things about someone you want to marry. That people did it and it worked for them don't mean a thing. They simply took a stup!d risk/gamble. Don't gamble with your future.

Thank you. I think I will share this link with her. She's not on Nairaland. We don't believe in broken home, we can't even tell my dad what she's going through cos he will never support her.

My mum also doesn't want her daughter to become a divorcee. She kept advising her to put up with it because she's the 1st born.

Raalsalghul:
Another scripted story again?

Seun must have put you guys on double shifts.

Your comment now make me believe that most stories on Nairaland are actually true.

People are going through shit and nothing is new under the sun.

If I put everything she's going through out, you will cancel the whole story.

But I must respect her privacy.

lilvicky68:
She should leave the chronic gambler alone and focus on herself and child..

Thank you. I've been regretting advising her to give the man space.

Please I need nairalanders advice. I'm in dilemma.

I'm sorry the story is long please take your time and sorry for any mistakes.

My sister and her husband got married late 2018, she was pregnant then.
Few months after their marriage the husband lost his job. He was sacked because he embezzled over 5m from his company.

Note: he dated my sister for only a year before their marriage and only bought a phone (infinix) for my sister during their courtship. He has no car nor a house from this money.

We got to know that he is a chronic gambler. He can bet 200k on a single game.

For 2 years he was out of job, my sister supported him and never complained, we also do not have problem in my family. We didn't even act as if we know that he was out of job for that 2yrs. After my sis gave birth the MIL stayed with them for a year with my sister footing the bills, the MIL eats only Amala every night and my sister covers every damn expenses and still cook for the house. She takes care of her family without complaints.

The problem is that the husband is never satisfy, never appreciate my sis for a day and always complain anytime she did not cook for those 2yrs. He has pushed my sister to collect loans of 40k twice from LAPO without paying back. He sold almost all the properties at home for betting, they have no TV, nor fridge.

In late 2021 he got a job in a restaurant with a salary of 80k and he promised to be given my sister 25k every month. Since then until now he has never given my sister 1penny from the 25k, he has never bought a clothe nor shoe for his child since he was born. He use his salary to either womanize or Bet. He has borrowed money in almost all the loan apps and my sister keep receiving messages from this loan apps almost everyday, I've also received a message from them before. Their landlord asked then to leave his house because they couldn't pay for house rent and he kept receiving messages from this loan Apps too. He doesn't talk to my sister, they live as neighbors in the house. They only share greetings at home unless he wants to ask my sister for money. They behave as strangers, always shut my sister off.

His company kept 150k with him for 2days and he used the money to play betting not until they start chasing him with calls before he borrowed the money from his sister to settle the bills.

He no longer go to work again, he told my sister yesterday that he has resigned because he's working on a project that will give him twice his investment. We're suspecting that he was sacked (job not up-to 6months)

So last year I advised my sister to start a Thrift so that she can be saving her money and use the money to start a business this year.

My sis called me today and told me that her husband has resigned. He no longer go to work and I advised her to get an apartment outside and give the man space. She has advised him so many times, pray for him, supported him. Uptil today we've never questioned the man, we just want him to treat my sis right but he's not ready to change.

Please nairalanders what do you think we can do? Do you think I gave my sister the right advice?

I don't really want my sis to divorce her husband. But she cries almost everyday.