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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / akpos funniest joke, and more. (107686 Views)
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Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 2:00am On Aug 30, 2017 |
Feels Good A kid calls his maths teachers house everyday. TEACHER'S WIFE: I have told you a million times that my husband is dead. Why do you keep calling. KID: Feels good to hear it! |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 7:19am On Sep 02, 2017 |
The following conversation ensued between Akpos and his son: Son: Daddy who is an idiot? Akpos: an idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a way that another person who is listening can’t understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No! 1 Like |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 9:29am On Sep 10, 2017 |
How do you recognize Akpos in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.” |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by mickydonald: 11:03pm On Sep 10, 2017 |
check out this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGl947y9XqE |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 11:55am On Oct 08, 2017 |
Be patient. Listen I came home from work. I was tired. I sat down on the sofa. Put my feet up. My wife brought me a glass of water. My son gave me a sheet of paper: English Lang. 17% Biology 35% Mathematics 40% Physics 37% Chemistry 42% Economics 12% Agric. Science 19% Religion Knowl. ABS Geography 22% I lost my temper. And started shouting: "What is this? All the time on phone and TV. How dare you show me such marks?" My Wife said: "Be patient. Listen...." I told her: "Shut up! It's your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good and never serious at all." My Wife said: "Oh! Really?" I said: "No one in our family has performed so badly ever." My Son said: "Dad, I am sorry. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this. This is your old school report card, dated 27th July 1980 sir." 1 Like |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 4:01am On Oct 09, 2017 |
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?" |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 7:44am On Oct 09, 2017 |
Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open. Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges first with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a hammer.” 15 minutes later, the wife texts back: “Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone.” 1 Like |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 2:58am On Oct 10, 2017 |
Akpos was very drunk and was struggling to open his door with his key. His neighbour asked him “sir can I help you open the door?” Akpos said “don’t worry, just help me hold the house straight, I can open the door” jokeafrica..com 1 Like |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 12:34pm On Oct 10, 2017 |
A Warri tenant walked in & saw his landlord’s son
trying to commit suicide & a brief conversation
ensued:
Tenant: Akpos! Wetin you de do so?
Akpos: I dey try commit suicide, as Papa dey
always complain say my life dey worthless!
Tenant: That one no good now… but why you come
tie de rope for your waist?
Akpos: Bros, no be small thing o! I bin tie de rope
for neck, I NEARLY DIE! 1 Like |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 4:22pm On Oct 11, 2017 |
Papa Akpos :- My pikin say you drive am commot
for school, Wetin he do
Akpos’ Teacher :- Your son no know book at all, He
no fit spell ” LION ”
Papa Akpos :- Ah Ah…You know say na SMALL
pikin……You for tell am make he spell SMALL
ANIMAL like ” MOSQUITO |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 10:32am On Oct 13, 2017 |
Akpos, a policeman, stopped a
motorist and his friend on the road and
after checking his car papers and
driver’s licence which were intact, the
following conversation ensued:
POLICEMAN AKPOS: If you start
feeling sick on the steering, who would
drive this car home?
MOTORIST: I don’t intend to fall sick
officer, but thank God I have my friend
here. if I fall sick, he will drive me
home.
POLICEMAN AKPOS: (turns to his
friend) Where is your driver’s license?
FRIEND: I don’t have one.
POLICEMAN AKPOS: You are under
arrest for intent to drive without a
licence! |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 5:20am On Oct 17, 2017 |
Mother: "How was school today,
Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today
we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff
with you these days. And what will you
do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?" |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 5:37am On Oct 24, 2017 |
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 bus.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.” jokeafrica..com 1 Like |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 9:37am On Oct 31, 2017 |
Judge: “Why did you steal the car?” Man: “I had to get to work.” Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?” Man: I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus. |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 7:07am On Nov 01, 2017 |
Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside.
Mr Inside stood outside and called to Mr
Outside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr
Inside from inside and told Mr Inside to
come inside. Mr Inside said , "NO", and
told Mr Outside to come outside.
Mr Outside and Mr Inside argued from
inside and outside about going outside
or coming inside.
Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to
come inside, then both Mr Outside and
Mr Inside went outside to the riverside. |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 8:42am On Nov 03, 2017 |
I believe the best magic is neither in
Merlin's nor Harry Potter's hands...
I was going out one fateful day and I
needed some money to buy some stuff
urgently! I asked
my mum for money. Although she's
been giving me various excuses, she
didn't hesitate this time, instead, she
brought out the money.
I counted it and it was N35,000! I was
very happy.
I showed off the newly wrapped notes,
especially to my best friend. He asked
me to lend him some amount of money
promising to return it the next day. I
refused to give him lying to him that it
was for my school fees. He was
annoyed but had no choice.
Whilst counting the money, my crush, a
beautiful light skinned girl, walked up to
me asking me to lend her some of the
money saying she couldn't tell me the
exact time she would return it.
Without hesitating, I handed over
everything to her!
Immediately she left, I started crying
because I never knew how I happened
to give her the
money.
Isn't that Magic?! |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 3:19pm On Nov 12, 2017 |
A hungry man was walking on a desert and saw a lamp half buried in the sands. He rubbed it and a genie suddenly appeared. The genie said, "You have only one wish to make, use it wisely." The man happily said his wish, "Give me something to eat which will never end." The genie said, "Here, have some chewing gum." |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 10:29pm On Nov 13, 2017 |
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant. |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 7:12am On Nov 14, 2017 |
Wale: I saw the strap of your bra.. TEACHER JANET: Wale!! Getout!, no class for u 4 a week!. Johnbull: started laughing TEACHER JANET: Why did u laugh?? Johnbull : i saw both straps of your bra TEACHER JANET: GETOUT, no class 4 u for 1 month!.. ..Teacher JANET bends down 2 pick chalk & Akpos started walking out of the class TEACHER JANET: KAYBEE, why are you going out? Akpos : di tin wey i see now ma, I think my school days are over!!!!!…Ojigbijigbi |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by ibrahimarrajitv: 7:04am On Jan 02, 2018 |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 4:46pm On Apr 16, 2018 |
Guy calls in to his Boss:
Worker: I can't come to work today. I'm sick
Boss: Oh yea! What's wrong with you now?
Worker: I have anal glaucoma.
Boss: What the hell is that?
Worker: I just can't see my ass working today. |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Revolva(m): 5:54am On Apr 17, 2018 |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by okdenis: 5:41pm On Apr 20, 2018 |
DRIVER, 3 OTHERS, ABDUCT, RAPE AND KILL FEMALE BOSS AFTER COLLECTING 5MIL RANSOM IN ABUJA, WATCH VIDEO OF HER BODY BEING EXHUMED https:///pWPwgX |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 6:33pm On May 29, 2018 |
Two blondes were shopping at the mall. When they were done, they went out to their car, an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while. Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock. The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded, "Hurry, hurry! It's going to rain and we left the top down!" http://festyy.com/wHwxLa |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 7:25am On Jun 24, 2018 |
Money no go kill our Nigerian ladies. A pretty Nigerian lady got linked to a rich Zimbabwean man. On a good day for a surprise, the man sent 60million Zimbabwean dollars to her through Western Union. Before going to withdraw the money, she took 2 security men to escort her (N25,900 naira each). She hired a taxi for the day (N15,000 naira) and took a beautiful bag (Gucci=N35,000 naira) on credit for the withdrawal. On getting to the counter, they told her that 60million Zimbabwean dollars after conversion is N3,325 naira. No be small wahala oooooooo!!. Please stop laughing come and help the lady �����... Wonderful weekend |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Revolva(m): 8:15am On Jun 24, 2018 |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 2:29am On Oct 15, 2018 |
A dog walked in to the telegram office one day. He took out a blank form and wrote on it: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." Then he handed it to the clerk. The clerk examined the paper and said to the dog, "You know there are only nine words here? You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!" |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Alexandercruz: 6:33am On Feb 07, 2019 |
See details below.
|
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by micdav126(m): 8:47pm On Feb 28, 2019 |
This post is to formally introduce you all to our new social app called Joga. Joga is the latest fun app for Africans with millions of hilarious and interesting content(video, pictures and text) for free download and sharing. Joga also gives you the opportunity to connect, make new friends and chat wherever and whenever you feel like. � Kindly follow our facebook page @jogaofficial or use this link https://www.facebook.com/jogaofficial/ Instagram: @jogaofficial Twitter: @jogaafrica Like our posts, drop comments and also share our content. You can also download Joga by clicking on this link: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.funny.joga |
Re: akpos funniest joke, and more. by Shollay20(m): 7:04am On Mar 03, 2019 |
When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor’s office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, “Do I have to drink it?” |
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