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I Saw This Some Were And I Decide To Share It / "Stole" This Pic From A Nl'ers Profile N Taught I Might Share It / A Little Boy's Prayer (2) (3) (4)
... by LewisO: 11:56pm On Jan 27, 2015 |
Got it from a friend of mine. It's kind of long one, but promise me you won't skip to the punch line because it's pretty damned funny . . . Before I get into the joke I need to tell you ANOTHER joke first . . . "How do you tell if a woman in Las Vegas is a prostitute?" "She makes eye contact." OK, now that that's out of the way . . . A couple weeks ago my buddy Jared was in Las Vegas when a beautiful woman in a tiny black cocktail dress made eye contact across the Casino floor. Jared felt a shiver go right down his spine and right to his crotch the moment she looked at him. She was gorgeous. Tall. Dark eyes. A sway to her hips. The woman walked over to Jared and he bought her a drink. She laid a hand on his bicep. Then she laid a hand on his thigh and he felt himself strain against his pants. "So." She said. She gave him a little squeeze. "So." he said. "Uhh . . . um . . . how much for a hand job?" "A hand job," she said? And the words fell out of her mouth like honey. "Yeah. Yeah. How much for a hand job" he sputtered. "A hand job is $1,000" she said, plain and innocent like she was giving him directions to the mall. Jared felt nauseous in his stomach. "$1,000 ?," he said. "$1,000 for a hand job? What . . . What makes your hand jobs so good that they're worth $1,000 dollars " A tiny smile crept across the woman's lips. "Come with me," she said and she slithered towards the casino door. Jared followed her outside. "Do you see that Denny's down the street?," she said. Jared looked and saw a Denny's about a quarter mile down the road. "Yeah." "Do you see that other Denny's a little further down?" Jared strained his eyes, but he saw it. Denny's are thick on the ground in Vegas. "I own BOTH of those Denny's because I give a hand job that's worth $1,000." Jared swallowed hard and looked for an ATM. When the hand job was over Jared lay in his hotel bed in a state of shock. It had been amazing. The greatest hand job he'd ever received. He wasn't even sure he'd ever be able to self-service again because it would pale so much in comparison. Every muscle in his body was slack. He felt . . . warm. Happy. Safe. The woman walked out of the bathroom drying her hands. She started walking towards the door. "Wait! Wait," Jared said. "Uhh . . . listen. That was . . . that was amazing. But I have to know . . . I just have to. How much for a Mouth Action?" "A Mouth Action," the woman said (or maybe she purred?) "A Mouth Action is $5,000." "$5,000 !!!!" Jared almost screamed. "Listen, you just gave me the greatest hand job of my life, but what the heck makes your blow jobs worth $5,000 ?" The woman walked towards the hotel window. "Do you see that hotel across the street?" she asked. Jared looked at the hotel. It wasn't a huge casino or anything, but it was a nice hotel with maybe 100 rooms right off the strip. It was easily worth millions. It had gargoyles that seemed to stare at Jared with beady, hungry eyes. "Yeah. I see it." "I own that hotel because I give blow jobs that are worth $5,000." Jared knew he was sunk. He couldn't afford it but he HAD to know what this woman could do with her mouth that was worth $5,000 . . . He went downstairs and got her a cashier's check. And the Mouth Action was . . . amazing . . . It was a religious experience for Jared. He felt his body and his soul separate. He felt loved and wanted. He felt powerful. He felt all the stresses of his life . . . his wife . . .his kids . . . his job that he hated so much . . . just fade away. And when she was done he just lay there in total, absolute bliss . . . He heard the woman gurgling with mouth wash in the bathroom. She picked up her purse to leave. And even though he didn't WANT to say anything because he KNEW he couldn't afford it he couldn't help himself . . "Wait! Wait!" She stopped. "I have to know. How much for the pu**ssy?" "The Kitty-Cat?" she said and she saw a twinkle in her eye. She walked back to the window. "Do you see Las Vegas out there? Do you see the giant casinos, the monstrous hotels, the hot dog vendors, the strip clubs, the bright neon signs, the roller coasters, the theaters, the working girls . . . do you see the cabs and and the bouncers and the slot machines? Do you see ALL of Las Vegas out there covered in light and pulsing??" Jared's mouth went dry. "Yeah, I see it." "Honey, if I had a pu**ssy, I'd own all of that too." 2 Likes |
Re: ... by Nobody: 1:21am On Jan 28, 2015 |
Don't understand this piece |
Re: ... by DonX001: 1:58am On Jan 28, 2015 |
If I hear say I siddown for this kain midnight dey read this kain loong story! I'll rather read the whole Old testament from Genesis to Malachi than read this! |
Re: ... by LewisO: 7:52pm On Jan 28, 2015 |
DonX001:After u've read it! |
Re: ... by LewisO: 7:56pm On Jan 28, 2015 |
kevinberry:Do try read it again, it's hilarious. |
Re: ... by LewisO: 7:57pm On Jan 28, 2015 |
kevinberry:Do try read it again, it's quite funny! |
Re: ... by donteddy(m): 9:27pm On Jan 28, 2015 |
The woman is a man |
Re: ... by LewisO: 9:41pm On Jan 28, 2015 |
donteddy:Got it! |
Re: ... by LewisO: 12:18am On Feb 18, 2015 |
Hilarious! |
Re: ... by NoledgeArmani: 12:38am On Feb 18, 2015 |
;Dhahahaha.. ah dunn die.. his been enjoying fellow mans BJ! n hand shrub ; |
Re: ... by LewisO: 1:39pm On Feb 18, 2015 |
NoledgeArmani:Got it man! |
Re: ... by Qoaki3k: 4:04pm On Feb 18, 2015 |
. |
Re: ... by LewisO: 1:37pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
. |
Re: ... by Nobody: 11:33pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
LewisO: |
(1) (Reply)
When You Hug A Girl With Too Much Makeup / Unfortunately, ATM Machine Retains Her Card / Just Want U To Laugh It Out And Continue With Ur Work.
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