₦airaland Forum

How do u face a cheating or about to cheat hussy?.
My sister just told me now that she saw a mail her hussy
sent to one girl on feb 09.According to her he is still asking the girl out
from all this friendship/dating site.Her hussy claim to be born again,
knows every quotation in the bible,the annoying part of it is that he was
listening to preaching,so he went to change CD and she wanted to use computer
only for her to see a new email address.
I fear for men,this make me to fear that my hussy might cheat too.

Have they had conversations about what is considered cheating?

Have they clearly drawn the line in the sand regarding this issue?

What women consider cheating men dont.  So the conversation needs to be had.

She does not need to bring up what she knows just have a general conversation about cheating with her husband.  Wait for the moment to present itself or make one up, but this needs to be discussed.
And dont let him tell her that he knows what cheating is, talk about specifics, like:
is it ok to exchange text message with another man or woman
is it ok to kiss them on the cheek, mouth, whatever.
BE SPECIFIC
This is not the type of conversation that one assumes what the other person knows or what they are talking about.


And be very very very clear on what will happen if he cheats and be very sure that you will follow thru on it.

I know a married guy who flirted with a girl in Russia but he never met the girl. We told him to stop it and he said he was in control and just playing around. He never met the girl.

maybe the guy is just flirting with the girl. . . but its a dangerous path to go

flirting is allowed as long as its doesnt go beyond just mere flirt i will let my woman flirt n laugh about it later.but if she s overdoing it i will let her stop.

@poster.
@sistawoman! Gbam.

@ sistawoman
she said she showed him the message only for him to deny saying it wasn't a serious discussion,that the
email is a friends email and he wasnt the one that sent it and later accepted,he sent it but it wasn't something serious.they
know each others password ,even the master card pin number.My sister just finished her degree and is not working now,but is
applying for jobs.They use their card together as in my sister withdraws money as she wants and buys anything and he doesn't mind.
My mum is staying with them bc my sis just delivered of a baby 3months ago.
what line do u want her to draw,is it that she will walk out or tell our mum ,or tell his parents? what action do u want her to take
even if he is not cheating but atleast he will never think of doing it.Pls i need married pple's opinion

She has to decide for herself what that line is.

for instance here is what hubby and I discussed:

If you are doing anything with a person of opp. sex that you would not do in front of me then it is cheating.

If you cheat and get caught we are done.

The marriage is over and done with.

We have drawn our line in the sand but that does not mean that is what you have to do.
If you are not willing to define it like that or state it clearly like that then dont have the conversation and deal with it as it comes.
If your partner does not know where the line is then you cant blame them for stepping over it.

Before you ask, no we dont have children together.
This is both our second marriages and have children of our own.
This has always been my policy even in my first marriage.
I have no problem supporting my children on my own.

but I live in America and here there is no stigma about being a single parent.
I know it is different in Nigeria.

I truly believe the only way to curb some of the men from cheating is if they really believed their women would walk.

If someone wants to be my instant enemy then tell me a lie. It makes my blood boil. I will not lay with, love, kiss, or cater to a lier. I would rather him leave me first then lie to me and cheat on me. I have children that I MUST be here to raise, him cheating on me puts that in danger in more ways than one. So I see cheating as not just effecting me by my children as well and no one and nothing will stop me from being their mom and being there for them.

Thanks sisterwoman.

sistawoman I can see where you are coming from but I am not buying this the man might not know what cheating means. Why do you have to sit down and tell a man if you will not do it when I am there then it is cheating. That is just common sense. People flirt but when you get emotionally nvolved with someone it is cheating even if you are not having sex. So long as it is something you do not want your spouse to know. I don't see why a man or woman has to sit with their partner and clarify that.


I do agree 100% though that the lying part is unforgivable. To me if you cheat and get caught it does not have to be the end of it (I am not talking about aa dog here but if you get careless and cheat) but when you lie that to me just says that man has no honor. I can't deal with a liar.

But what is the harm in clearly stating to your partner what cheating means to you?

I wouldnt avoid stating the obvious but sometimes one has to.

It is obvious to you and me that putting a childs hand to a lit stove is child abuse, but to the parent that did it just the other day it was not that clear to them.

All these guys that claims to be born again dis dayz sef . . . . . .lying cheating bastard

I prefer to clarify like Sistawoman said before he claims they are just friends.

Tope, u are right. Most of them are pretenders. We have the true ones though.