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Disclaimer: I procrastinate a lot so I hope you guys don't bash me much if I don't finish this. Hopefully, I will get to the end of this story cause I have a lot of stories and only few were finished successfully.

Larrysun can you come in here, you are a pro in the game and this is my first time writing so I will need some pointers.

To everyone reading this, please enjoy your stay here. The popcorn is on its way

................

I walked as fast as my legs could carry me, I could not afford to let anyone catch me, that would be a total disaster. I was tired of being told what to do, my father is a total control freak and my mother who is as docile as a lamb in front of my father is a bigger control freak when he is out, the only decision I was ever allowed to make is to decide which undies I was going to put on, and the undies were all bought by mum so I was basically left with no choice. I have lived like this for the past 22years with no complaint but they have gotten to their limit this time around, I will never allow this to happen, they were supposed to allow me make this decision but they decided to take the bull by the horns, how could they? Today, I will end my life and leave my parents childless, I am their only child and yet they control me about, this is not the stories I have heard of only children, I heard that their parents allow them do whatever they like but mine is different. I am going to end it all today, it is such a pity that all those wealth will be lost, dad is sterile and mum is already in her menopausal days, dad's sterility is the reason I have no sibling, he got an infection 2 years after I was born, rumours say that he frolicked about with a lot of women during his younger days even while married to mum. I pity my parents a lot for what I am about to do but they make me a living misery and I am left with no choice, I will have to take my life.

........................

"Stop there" Oh God! That useless maid must have noticed my absence and alerted my parents, she was always poking her nose in my affairs. My dad must have sent someone after me now, my plan is ruined. I stopped abruptly and was considering my next action when rough hands grabbed me, and put a handkerchief over my nose. I felt myself blacking out. Oh God! I am dying. Who is this person? An angel from God sent to make my mission faster? Maybe God was in so much hurry to see me after all. But I am not sure I want to die, maybe I just wanted to scare my parents a bit. Forgive me mother, forgive me father, you love me but God loves me most. And I blacked out.

....................


"You are up finally. I won't waste time, I will go into business immediately. I am not going to harm you. I am just going to have sex with you, it will be quick, I promise. If you cooperate with me, you will get out alive".
Uhn! I never knew God had sex, He was a pristine being after all. I tried to adjust my eye to my surrounding but it was dark, I couldn't see anything. I felt a strong figure walk up to me and I felt something cold on my temple.
The figure was intimidating and I could feel my body shudder, I was not dead after all and I might have just been kidnapped. The gun resting on my temple was lowered down to my waist and I couldn't help but shudder. I know I was about committing suicide but this was just too much for me.
"Strip" the figure ordered in a firm voice.
This man must have been a joker, did he really think I will allow him deflower me? I have been a virgin all these years and I will give it up to a total stranger? An unknown person? My anger built up and over shadowed my fear, I did not even realize when I started speaking.
"You see this rope with me" I brought out a rope from my jean pocket and showed it to him,
"I am trying to use it to commit suicide" the figure was taken aback a bit, perhaps in shock,
"If you want to help make my job easy, then do it quick or allow me get back to work".
The fear came back as I saw the figure slowly retreat, I did not know what next to expect and the fear of the unknown was eating me up. The figure left the room and I relaxed a bit, allowing my mind to wander while expecting the worst. I thought about mummy and daddy, they were hard but they did not deserve this from me. Mummy will probably die in worry and daddy on the other hand, will drink himself to death. For a minute, I wish I was home in my big bed and not in an unknown place not knowing what fate has in stock for me. This place was cool actually, something dramatic was happening to me after 22 years of a boring life. I smiled when I thought about Joy, that nosey maid was always in my business and mummy will definitely skin her alive and send her bones to the lions. I missed my abductor, I wanted the show to start.


......................

I heard the footsteps and I knew the hour had come. The door knob was turned and my abductor stepped in and walked towards a side of the room to switch on the light. He was the most handsome man I had ever come across and he could definitely give a Greek God a run for his money. Why should a man this good looking be thinking of rape? Women would flood his bed if he wishes or did he lack self esteem?
"You are too fine to be a rapist". I found the words out of my mouth before I could stop it.
"And you are too pretty to be considering suicide". Did I hear him well? Was my abductor complimenting me? He seemed like a nice guy and the fear naturally dissolved cause I was not scared of him harming me anymore, I was scared actually on his behalf cause I could eat him up in a second.
"Life sometimes could give us difficult choices". I replied flippantly.
"A brief assessment of you will show that you are from a wealthy home, so what difficult choices are you talking about?" He pulled a stool close and sat on it. His presence was really intimidating. In a tantalizing way though. I stretched my legs forth cause having them crossed was beginning to hurt.
"You are the one who is trying to rape me here, so I should be asking you what made you make such decisions and not the other way round" I retorted sharply.
"A suicidal person is more demented than a rapist, if you ask me".
"Says who?"
I got no reply from him, instead he brought out a stick of cigarette and tried to light it.
"If we are done here, I will take my leave now". I stood up, wore my slippers and headed towards the door, expecting him to stand up and grab me but he did no such thing.
"I was just 6 when I was raped for the first time" This sounded interesting, I had to sit down and listen cause no amebo gist was allowed to pass me by. I returned to the space I occupied earlier on and sat quietly.

Hmmmm. Continue naw

"I was raped by a woman who was supposed to be my protector. A woman who was supposed to keep me from the harms of the world. A woman who was the reason I was brought into this world in the first place. Yes, I was raped by my own mother". Oh my God! Just when I thought my own mother was evil for dictating my life to me. No, mummy will never do this, even daddy. My parents were the best in the world and you truly never know what you have until you lose it. Have I lost them? No, not yet, I will just have to retrace my steps. The man in front of me changed drastically from the handsome cool man I had seen earlier to a sexy demon, I could see him burning in fury as he dragged a long smoke from his cigarette. This man was deeply wounded and I could see the raw injury in his eye. As intimidating as he looked, I was not scared of him. I felt connected to him instead and I had a strange desire to share in his problems. I adjusted myself close to him and placed my palm on his legs.
"I do not know the right words to use in soothing your anger now but all I know is that it will pass".
"It will pass? It will pass? The woman in question now has given her life to Christ and has started a new family". He roared in anger and broke down into tears. I felt pity for him and I wish I could ease all the pains he was feeling.
"She became a drug addict when my father left her and poured her frustration on me. She hit me and raped me countless times. I ran away when I was 14 cause I could not take the torture anymore. I did odd jobs to survive and I was able to make something good with my life. I lived a good life and forgot about my past until the day I saw her in a church, she was looking so holy and righteous. She didn't deserve that, she ruined my life and didn't deserve to be happy, she looked better than I remembered and I learnt that she was the wife of the pastor. I have been so angry since then. How could God be so unfair? I have lived a miserable life while this woman has enjoyed so far and will probably end up going to heaven. I used to tell myself that I will allow God take control but God didn't seem to be doing anything so I decided to take laws into my hands. I will kill her and that miserable father of mine who made her ruin my life, but before that I will rape as many girls as I can and that includes YOU". The "YOU" kept resounding in my head and before I could realize what he had just said, he grabbed me, removed my clothes and undies and threw them to the ground. I was naked in front of this stranger but I felt a familiar feeling, I was not shy and I did not try to fight him. Nobody had ever seen my unclothedness ever since I came of age cause I hid from them but I felt this stranger was familiar in a weird way. He lifted me from the ground and laid me on the bed.
"Smart girl, you have decided not to fight" he spat scornfully. I was not scared of him, what I felt was indescribable. He bit my nipple so hard that I was scared he was going to draw blood. He unzipped his trousers and pulled out his manhood. Nothing in this world could have prepared me for what I experienced thereafter. The pain was so much and I screamed out in agony with tears flowing down my eyes. I could see his pupil dilate, then he stood up, adjusted his trouser and left the room. The pain was beginning to subside and so was my tears. I looked in between my legs and saw blood mixed with a whitish-creamy substance streaming out and as I looked at the mixture, I knew that my life was about to take a different course.

Nice, love the use of punctuations at the right place.

Frei:
Nice, love the use of punctuations at the right place.

Thanks

thanks for this. expecting more updates

khalifahsparkles:
thanks for this. expecting more updates

it is on its way

smileysmiley:
it is on its way

alright ma'am. following bumper to bumper

I must have passed out for a very long time cause when I opened my eye, I could see sun rays penetrating into the room from the curtain. I looked round the room and there was nothing really spectacular about it but it was not bad looking either. There was a table at a corner and some chairs too, books where arranged in a shelf nearby. Apart from the bed that looked out of place, the room looked like a study. My thighs ached a bit and the memories of last night flooded me. Where was he? Where am I? Maybe I should get dressed and find out. My thigh ached badly when I tried to get up and I winced in pain. I heard footsteps and immediately used the bedsheets to cover my unclothedness. The door was flung open and my abductor came in with a tray, he placed the tray on the table and grabbed a chair nearby to sit on. His face was expressionless as he studied me with his dark eyes, his scrutiny made me uncomfortable cause I felt like a child once again.
"I brought you breakfast", he said at last.
"I need to know what is going on here. Have I been kidnapped for a ransom?" The real question I wanted to ask was why he deflowered me last night, I was beginning to trust him and I felt he would not touch me. He took me by surprise and curiosity was eating me up.
"You are free to go as soon as you are ready to leave".
"So that is it?"
He looked at me with a rueful smile on his lips "Do you want anything else?"
I shook my head and he stood up and walked towards the door. He paused for a minute at the door "If I had known you were a virgin, I would not have done it", he walked out and closed the door. This young man is something else, he is scary in a comforting way. I overcame my pain and walked towards the table. The egg looked tantalizing and I nibbled on it, it was really tasty too. I quickly made the tea with the hot water, Nescafe and milk in the tray. I was really starving and I devoured the bread and egg under seconds while I decided to savour the tea cause the soothing effect eased my pain. I saw some Aspirin in the tray and took them with the bottle water that was provided. He was a really thoughtful guy after all. I thought about my parents again, they must be so worried. I left without my phone and that must have scared the hell out of them. I have to return home quickly, I am no longer interested in committing suicide, I miss them so much and I am sorry for the pain I put them through. I dressed up quickly and walked towards the door, when I turned the knob, an envelope fell. I picked it up and opened it, there were five pieces of one thousand naira note in it. I saw a note too and read it
"Get a cab and go back home". Who is he and why did he think he could order me about? I wish I could see him so I will shove his money in his face and let him know that I am no sissy. Everywhere was quiet, maybe going home was my best option now. I walked out of the building and there was no trace of a human around. Has rapture finally taken place without my knowledge. The incident of last night seemed like years ago and I suddenly became scared. I walked as fast as my legs could carry me, praying to God for a miracle. I think God heard me cause I saw a car coming towards me, I waved at it like my life depended on it. Thank goodness! It was a cab and I jumped in immediately he stopped.
"Number 6, Coleman Avenue, Dolphin Town".
"Dolphin Town ke, madam that place far o... I no dey reach that side".
"I will pay you five thousand naira"
The cab driver thought about it for a while and smiled like someone who had struck jackpot "OK na", and he zoomed off.

Hmmm.

nice one waiting...

It has been two weeks already since I got home and the face of my rapist kept on hunting me in my dreams, I saw him everywhere and this made me a different person entirely. I told my parents that I was kidnapped while jogging and I was fortunate enough to escape from the kidnappers. Mummy was asking so much questions but daddy intervened and told her to allow me rest. The next day, some policemen visited, they asked me so many questions and my creative brain fabricated answers for them. My daddy doubled the security at home and banned me from stepping out alone. Mummy was so happy to see me and I swore never to repeat what I had done again cause I put my parents in so much worry. The incident did something good for me though cause the family my parents wanted to marry me to called the wedding off, they claimed I might attract kidnappers to their family, as they were equally wealthy. Such jerks! They were the reason I tried committing suicide in the first place cause I could not see myself getting married to that foolish son of theirs, he felt he was God's gift to women and every woman was supposed to worship him. I have been on several dates with him and I realized that he was a self centred bastard, it was always about him and he bored me to death with his American stories. "The girls were all over me blah... blah... blah...". When mummy told me that he was my husband-to-be, I just knew that suicide was a better option. The thought of having children with him irritated me and I couldn't risk populating the world with more nonentities like him. Thank goodness his family is as shallow as he is.
"A penny for your thoughts dear", I looked up to see my mother entering my room with so much grace. She was a really beautiful woman and she always got eyes turning even in her mid forties. She was always health conscious and never missed working out for a day, her banging body was the reward of her hard work. She starts her day with a cup of green tea and a visit to the gym on the ground floor of the building. I visited the gym once in a while and mummy always encouraged me to work out cause she claimed I was the reason she asked dad to set up the gym. I doubt if I will be able to keep up with mummy's fitness level when I become of her age. I was just too lazy to be bothered.
"I am not really thinking about anything", I looked up with a faint smile.
Mummy sat at the edge of the bed and studied me closely "You have been different ever since you returned".
"Mummy I am fine".
"I know you are but I am worried about you".
"You should not be".
"The incident must have shaken you".
"A little but you know I am a strong girl". I smiled weakly.
Mummy touched my face and stared deeply "You really should see a doctor".
"I don't need it. Mummy I am fine".
"If you say so", mummy stood up from the bed "You just look a little different".
"That is because I have not fully recovered from the shock".
Mummy shrugged "I will be in my room if you need me", and she walked out of my room.
Another good thing about the incident is that my parents have been allowing me make some decisions myself, I think the incident made us all realize how much we meant to each other thereby giving room for each other's opinion. Mummy has been disturbing me about going to the hospital for a while now but I have managed to talk her out of it each time she came up with it. She even asked one day if the kidnappers raped me and I told her not to be silly. Her concern was becoming too much. I walked to my dressing mirror to assess myself and apart from the strain in my eye, I still looked normal. What was mummy talking about? Has she seen something that I have not noticed yet?

Cool...tink am beginning to love it....more updates nd u get ma likes....

"Dear, The Okenwa's were here again today".
"Mummy, I have told you times without number. I can't marry Stephen"
"Theodora, you are just so stubborn. I don't know where you got this strong head from, you have always been a good girl".
"Mummy that is because I was not given a choice".
"It should have remained that way".
"I can't believe you mummy, they insulted our family".
"They have long apologized. I think you should consider it. Stephen is such a handsome guy".
" He is a jerk".
"Look my dear, you have graduated from the university and the next thing you should be thinking of now is marriage".
"Maybe I will if I am allowed to leave this house and date, I can't just marry anybody you and dad think is okay for me".
"Their family is a good one. We know them and we can vouch for them".
"I have heard you mummy, can I go now?"
"Sure dear, do think about it though".
"Thanks mum". I left mummy's presence as fast as I could. The nausea was starting again so I had to, agree with her and leave immediately. I retched badly when I got back to my room and I felt so weak as usual. I was feeling weak these days and it got me scared. I could not bring myself to believe what was forming in my head, I had already missed a period and my face looked swollen. I could not confirm my fear cause my nose poking guards made it impossible. I stopped Joy from cleaning my room cause her detective skills were on point. The Okenwa's on the other hand, decided to add to my problem. They came back apologizing and claimed they acted out of proportion. God bless daddy for me cause he decided to let me handle it myself, mummy on the other hand, turned to an advocate for the Okenwa's, giving me reasons to marry their jerk of a son. My craving for chips and ketch up these days were strange, I could devour the quantity that will comfortably feed 10 grown men and still want more.
"Your mum wants to see you. Stephen is around and he wants to see you." Joy poked her ugly head in my room.
"Arghhh!!! I will be with them soon". Her eye kept hovering round my room. "Amebo will you leave here at once?"
"Sorry ma", she left.
Sorry for yourself, I thought. I just hated her, why was she always poking her nose in my business? That stupid boy again. Why could he not just get a wife from the numerous girls that were chasing after him? He could be useful this afternoon though, I will make him get me the chips I crave for.
I got to the sitting room and saw him sitting so comfortably, one will think he owned the house with the air of confidence around him. I would have considered him if he was not such a jerk cause he was really good looking but not as good looking as my rapist though.
"Oh! Here you are", my mother smiled at me. "Stephen has been waiting for a while now".
"Hi Stephen", I muttered. I could see him assess me from my legs to my bosom. My legs were quite long and I was nicely shaped at the hip area with a great set of butt. I was not lacking in the chest area, although it seemed to have increased this past weeks and my skin was really lovely. I could not blame him for staring that much, after all I came out with such revealing top and a bum short, what did I expect the poor boy to do?
"Stephen?" I said it more audibly now.
He jolted back a bit like someone that was brought back from space. This guy was a real jerk, how could he get so lost while ogling my body like that in the presence of my mother.
"I was in the neighborhood and I decided to say hi".
"That is a good thing cause I think I need you now". I could see the sheepish smile on his face. "I am craving for some chips with ketchup. Do you mind getting it for me?"
"Not at all, I will do that right away". Jeez! This guy was a dummy, behaving like a fool all because of woman *yansh*.
"Don't be ridiculous, Dora. He came here cause he wants to spend some time with you. Why not change your clothes and go with him? You guys can have some good time on the way", mummy was beginning to poke her nose too much. "I can't even understand this your new craving for chips".
"I will get over it, I will be back in a minute". I replied and turned to return to my room, giving the most provocative catwalk I could think of. Let the idiot keep gawking like a fool. Mummy chuckled and said something like "children of nowadays" and beckoned on Joy to get a drink for Stephen.
I came out wearing a yellow flowery dress that accentuated my curves well, I was going to make sure Stephen got totally lost in me today. It had been a while since I teased someone with my body and Stephen was just the perfect idiot for my performance. I wore a neckpiece that lied comfortably in between my bosom and the fool could not even hide his lust. He was outrightly staring at my bosom.
"Let's go", I ordered and the fool stood up just immediately without hesitation.
" Alright angel".
"I won't be long mum"
"Take all the time you need dear", mummy was pretty annoying about the Okenwa's. Could she not see that Stephen was a complete idiot? I did not know why she was hell bent on this union. I walked out and Stephen followed suit like someone under a spell. The journey was a quiet one as I frustrated every effort Stephen made to start a discussion.
"I won't be long, I want to get a document from a colleague", Stephen said as he parked along the road. What an idiot! He was so self centred, now I am expected to sit quietly like a lady and wait while he goes about his personal business. I nodded slowly and he put off the car ignition, pecked me, muttered "I love you" and left. Such jerk! What made him think our relationship had reached such level, he never ceased to annoy me. I stared out the window while waiting patiently, I had no choice really. A great idea struck me as I saw the drug store few blocks away, this might just be a blessing in disguise after all. I alighted from the car and walked towards the drug store.
"Good afternoon, I want to buy a PT strip",
"Ehn", that was the reply I got from the attendant. Why were Nigerians so backward. What was difficult in PT strip? What exactly did she not understand?
"A pregnancy test strip", I replied angrily.
"Oookay", she had this judgemental look on her face as she scanned through my fingers. What an idiot!
"How many?" She asked afterwards.
"Give me 10", I needed plenty in order to ensure the accuracy of the test.
"Five hundred naira oooo", this Lady must have been dealt with seriously by poverty.
"Let me have it", she walked sluggishly to the shelf and brought it out. This woman was really wasting my time. Stephen will be back soon and I did not want him to get me here. I kept on looking outside, half hoping to see him around. She finally brought it in a nylon bag and handed it over to me. I quickly placed it in my purse cause I could not risk getting caught.
"Can you give me vitamin c tablets?" I needed a cover in case I was caught.
"Counting or...."
"Card", I cut in.
"How many?" This lady was a pest.
"Two". I brought out a thousand naira note from my purse and handed it to her. She gave me my change alongside the tablet and I was so excited to leave.
I met Stephen when I got back to the car and he gave me a long sermon on how he was responsible for me and how he would be in trouble if anything had happened. I told him my head hurt and I went to get some vitamin c tablets. He muttered something about how vitamin c could cure a headache and I angrily told him to take me back home. Thankfully, he did not argue much, apparently he just got a business related call and his presence was needed urgently. I was so anxious to use the strip that I thanked God for the miracle.
I was so lucky cause mummy was not around when I got back, she would have asked so much questions. I walked straight to my room and headed to my bathroom. I urinated in a bowl and dipped a strip into the urine. After three minutes, I went back to see the result and the two lines I saw were convincing enough, I did not need another test. I was pregnant for an unknown man.

Very nice story. Pls post more. Following bumper to Bumper

...Intrestin.... ...Keep posting

My discovery was the straw that broke the Camel's back, I became a shadow of myself and withdrew from everyone. What was I supposed to tell my parents? What was I supposed to do? I was so scared. Mummy was really worried about me and she tried her best to get me to talk but I just couldn't. Dad, who had been out of the country had just returned two days ago and he was pretty busy. I knew that once he was free, mummy would disturb him with my issue. When they both combined forces, I was no match. They were going to find out and I dreaded their discovery. My tummy still looked flat and I knew the foetus in me was getting close to three months. Thank God for my slim body, I could easily escape with the mild changes.
"Your daddy wants to see you," Joy's voice jolted me from my thoughts. The hour had come. I could not hide forever, it was another human we were talking about here after all.
"I will be with him shortly", I stood up from my bed, wore my flip flop and left the room immediately. The journey to my father's room seemed longer today. I walked slowly with no will to move on, I just found my legs moving. As I approached daddy's room, my heart beat increased. I was about opening the door when I heard him conversing with someone over the phone. I decided to use that opportunity to buy time and steady myself before meeting dad.
"Thank you so much, Mr Ayomide. I will discuss with my family and decide when is the right time to meet him. Have a pleasant night rest." I wonder what that was about. It was definitely not the answer to my present predicament. I took a deep breath, opened the door and stepped into my parents' bedroom. One look at it could show that enough wealth had been invested in the room.
"Daddy's angel", my dad's voice startled me.
"Good evening dad".
"How have you been?"
"Very fine dad"
"Cut the frivolities James, let's tell her why she is here"', mum cut in from nowhere. Dad's appearance fell and mum had no expression on her face. They knew. My parents called me here to break my secret to me. I felt so small again and my tears were threatening to pour out.

I really gbadun this write-ups, I pray u finish this one sha

Ashiat39:
I really gbadun this write-ups, I pray u finish this one sha

hopefully, I will

Interesting story keep it up...... Please when is the next update?

smileysmiley:
hopefully, I will

Jaytoy:
Interesting story keep it up...... Please when is the next update?

hopefully before the end of today

"You have an elder brother", daddy said after a few minutes of silence. "I had a family before I met your mum. We were suffering in abject poverty and when I met your mum, I just knew I had to take a walk. She was the only daughter of a business tycoon and she loved me so much. She didn't know about my family and she only just found out recently. This evil deed of mine hunted me so much that I had to spill the deed. Your mum advised me to search for them and with the help of a private investigator, I was able to find them. My ex-wife has remarried and my son has done something good with himself. I am so lucky cause he hold no grudge against me and is willing to meet my new family. He will be here tomorrow morning and I hope you are able to welcome him with open arms. He is not coming here to contest with your place in my heart cause you my daughter, is my irreplaceable jewel. I am just trying to right a wrong of my yesteryears." Wait! This was it? I almost had a heart attack cause of this? Heaven knows this is a blessing cause I needed a little distraction at home. I walked towards daddy and hugged him tightly.
"I am with you in every decision you take daddy. We all make mistakes and we all deserve to be forgiven", the room became emotional laden as mummy joined the hug. By the time we separated, each had a streak of tears dropping from the eyes. I kissed my parents goodnight and headed to my room. An elder brother was not a bad idea and if he was nice enough, he might be able to help with my present predicament. I laid on my bed and prayed that he should be the solution to my problems.
Morning came slower than I expected, I was so anxious to meet my brother. I cleaned up and joined my parents in the dining room for breakfast.
"You look cheerful this morning".
"Good morning mummy, we are expecting a new member of the family. It is not everyday that a big brother jumps into one's life, you know".
"Yeah yeah, have a sit".
"Where is dad?"
"He is a little jumpy, I have never seen him this unsettled before, he always seemed to be in control. He is having his breakfast upstairs."
"Poor daddy, I can't say I understand how he feels. He will get over it though. My daddy is a strong man". I giggled and mummy patted me softly.
"Madam your visitor is around", a maid announced.
Mum and I stood up immediately, looked at each other and headed straight to the sitting room.
"Good morning", the young man greeted immediately he sighted us.
"Good morning, hope it was not difficult locating here", mum replied.
"Not at all ma", the face was so familiar, he had this familiar dark air around him, those eyes, where have I seen them before?
"That is your brother, Angel", I heard daddy say from behind and recognition hit me instantly. Standing before me was the father of my child. My rapist!

Hmmm. Stoey dan get suspense

dear dis story is nyc.more pls

op I de feel u

Pls, any seer to tell me wat next before smile ready? This suspence is really eating me up

This is indeed a very nice story.

But it seems like it is being written in a rush. You need to pay attention to your word usage and descriptions. The characters should be better described for us to have a perfect mental picture of them. You didn't tell us about the rapist, for example; all you said was that he was very handsome. Explain those qualities that made him handsome.

Also, you should endeavour to give proper descriptions to surroundings and emotions. All these would give life to the story.

Lastly, kindly observe your tenses. You've been switching tenses a lot. Pick one tense form and be consistent with it.

I hope your next updates would be better. Above all, you're doing a nice job. Thanks. You can also decide to space out your paragraphs for more reading comfort.

I can't wait for the next post.

Grabs popcorn...nice work dear...am so following this work

LarrySun:
This is indeed a very nice story.

But it seems like it is being written in a rush. You need to pay attention to your word usage and descriptions. The characters should be better described for us to have a perfect mental picture of them. You didn't tell us about the rapist, for example; all you said was that he was very handsome. Explain those qualities that made him handsome.

Also, you should endeavour to give proper descriptions to surroundings and emotions. All these would give life to the story.

Lastly, kindly observe your tenses. You've been switching tenses a lot. Pick one tense form and be consistent with it.

I hope your next updates would be better. Above all, you're doing a nice job. Thanks. You can also decide to space out your paragraphs for more reading comfort.

I can't wait for the next post.

thanks for the pointers, I will definitely work on it

nice nd interesting, so what's next? waiting....

..Am waitinggggggg