i did my traditional marriage some months ago and i come from a family where u must wed after ur trad no matter how small d wedding is and this was the plans i had with my husband before the traditional marriage but after the trad he started behaving less concerned about it. I have spoken to him severely about this wedding but each time i do that he will tell me it is left for me to choose the day and start making preparations. How can i do this when he has refused to be a member in the church we attend? Can i really do this alone? Where do i start from? Is not as if we cant afford a small wedding. I just dont really know why he is feeling less concerned about the whole thing. Can someone help me expain dis or is it really the women that does everything about their wedding preparations? If yes, then tell me how to start dis alone. He loves me no doubt but i just want his contributions towards our wedding. Planning it alone will be as if am d one taking him to the alter instead of the other way round or what do you think?N.B(I wont like our wedding to exceed this year no matter how it will be at least let there b a wedding). Your contributions will be highly appreciated cos i have little or no time. Thank you

You can't, let him add his own money.

Maybe it is about time they change that culture.
Are u sure u never forced him to do the traditional wedding too?
Cos u sure sound like u forcing him now.
Let the dude be ready .

I see 2 disconnects here: It appears that you and your husband do not share the same (1) Cultural Values, and (2) Religious Values. You have your work cut out for you in your marriage, as these differences may drive a wedge between you in the future.

All the best!

canuck:

I see 2 disconnects here: It appears that you and your husband do not share the same (1) Cultural Values, and (2) Religious Values. You have your work cut out for you in your marriage, as these differences may drive a wedge between you in the future.

All the best!

Well said! Do not force any one into marriage. After the marriage, he might force you out. you force him in, you will only cause bitterness for yourself. Because its looks like he doesn't know how to say that he is not ready.

true talk oh

ROFL @"must to do church wedding"
Let ur family come help you tie the man to church now
Girl,U better ease up and let the man be.If he wants church wedding,u wont need to force or coerce him into doing it,but If u want to "keep with the family tradition" don't be suprised at the final outcome.

hentee:

i did my traditional marriage some months ago and i come from a family where u must wed after ur trad no matter how small d wedding is and this was the plans i had with my husband before the traditional marriage but after the trad he started behaving less concerned about it. I have spoken to him severely about this wedding but each time i do that he will tell me it is left for me to choose the day and start making preparations. How can i do this when he has refused to be a member in the church we attend? Can i really do this alone? Where do i start from? Is not as if we cant afford a small wedding. I just dont really know why he is feeling less concerned about the whole thing. Can someone help me expain dis or is it really the women that does everything about their wedding preparations? If yes, then tell me how to start dis alone. He loves me no doubt but i just want his contributions towards our wedding. Planning it alone will be as if am d one taking him to the alter instead of the other way round or what do you think?N.B(I wont like our wedding to exceed this year no matter how it will be at least let there b a wedding). Your contributions will be highly appreciated cos i have little or no time. Thank you

U need to search yourself and see if u really want this wedding so bad that u WILL handle it yourself

Can u handle it yourself??

its a lot of work, if u embark on making all the preparations yourself u would eventually be exhausted and extremely burnt out!!

u wouldn't even have time to enjoy and soak in the one special day most women look forward to.

so i suggest u be a Lil patient and work together wid ur partner, . . .

ifyalways:

ROFL @"must to do church wedding"
Let ur family come help you tie the man to church now
Girl,U better ease up and let the man be.If he wants church wedding,u wont need to force or coerce him into doing it,but If u want to "keep with the family tradition" don't be suprised at the final outcome.

Lol at that one.

why you dey take your hand find wahala?

The man love you and marry you but you want force am to do another marriage. The man fit get things for him mind wey pass that official church one. No take wahala start katakata for your home o. I beg you in Jesus' name.

If your people insist, tell them to arrange the wedding if they want wedding abi which kind distractions dem want create for the man!

Hmmm, Beats me

JustGood:

why you dey take your hand find wahala?

The man love you and marry you but you want force am to do another marriage. The man fit get things for him mind wey pass that official church one. No take wahala start katakata for your home o. I beg you in Jesus' name.

If your people insist, tell them to arrange the wedding if they want wedding abi which kind distractions dem want create for the man!

And if they arrange, i am sure the dude will dress up and show up at the wedding