Pls I am having issues at work with my boss,hekept saying he will work without me even when i put in my so very best.wat can i do house

the issue is that in the philosophy of two people.

tanks for ur respons chaircover

Try 2 understand d fact dat sumtime women are alway self center in think abt money,as a man play ur part and also be faithful 2 urself mak sure u pray 2gether alway

You cannot run away from your problems, whatever they are, you face them like a man who is old enough to take a wife and old enough to head a family.

Take her holiday and talk things through again.

Dannyke:

Beloved, the 40% she knows nothing about how u spend raises questions. For you to succeed in your marriage transparency and openness must be total. U should let your wife have intimate understanding of how you run your finances fully. Note also that your body is more valuable than your money. If you give your body completely to your wife what then is money?Don't let something as fickle as money destroy your precious marriage.

I beg no to flow with you. Who wants a police as a wife. The wife should get real and give the guy some space. She is just being funny because she is not used to the man's financial independence. She should learn to trust the husband, and if she cant, there is nothing anybody can do about that.

chaircover:

hhhhhmmmmmm.

You probably changed from the man who had to ask her permission or advice before he did anything to an independent man who doesn't have to seek her advise etc before you spend your money

She has also probably changed in that she no longer holds the purse strings and doesn't like her new role.

I am saying this based only on what you have described above; and I am not that naive to know that there are probably other things that you have not mentioned.

As you are the one whose circumstance changed and rocked the boat, you I'm afraid will have to do most of the work to try and reassure your wife that your new found status has not & will not change you. Try and Keep her in the loop of your spending commitments so she doesnt feel left out of descisions etc.

I like the fact that you feel so strongly about your marriage and with this kind of attitude & with patience you should be able to weather the storm. Good Luck.

Well said.

When your wife made the money was there complete transparency about money? Did she bring the money home for you guys?

Outstrip:

When your wife made the money was there complete transparency about money? Did she bring the money home for you guys?

Regardless of the transparency, a man is incomplete when he has no money and a real man in him steps out when he start making good money.
So u never know a man till he is in charge of good money.

Fhemmmy:

Regardless of the transparency, a man is incomplete when he has no money and a real man in him steps out when he start making good money.
So u never know a man till he is in charge of good money.

Gbam! Gbam!! Gbam!!!

And when the real man steps out, sorry you cant cage him again.

OAM4J:

Gbam! Gbam!! Gbam!!!

And when the real man steps out, sorry you cant cage him again.

Yes oh, and that explains the reason why some rich mama wanna marry a poor dude, cos they want a man that will run errants, they want a house boy and bey boy in one package.

You want to leave the house.

^^^ let the man leave house for like a month jare and enjoy his newly found financial freedom. It will give the wife time and room to adjust to the new equation. . Its not easy collecting transport fare from your wife for so long. He needs an holiday.

Fhemmmy:

Regardless of the transparency, a man is incomplete when he has no money and a real man in him steps out when he start making good money.
So u never know a man till he is in charge of good money.

Does not answer my question. He has not made any complaints about when she had money. That leads me to believe that she did not stress him about the money and he had as much control of it as she did. If he has not given her the same courtesy with his money then he should expect trouble

C'mmon Outstrip, what more control does she want with 60% of his income already in the joint account and she keeps the cheque-book to the accout. Let her give the guy a break abeg.

Are you people deliberately missing the point or what. When she made the money, did she make him aware of what was coming and going? If she was then he needs to do the same thing. If he is doing that then maybe the issue is bigger than money. We know money can be here today and gone tomorrow. If he is not being fair then she will become resentful. The story just seems incomplete to me.

Read in between the line. the issue is not about transparency. Its about control. Apparently she was in control before and she got to decide what is spent and how. But now the guy wants to take his rightful position. To be in control and she is fussing about it.

Yes i understand is not gonna be easy for her, but she has to accept it. Change is the only constant thing in life.

Ok. You are going to believe anything you want to believe. He is either withholding information or he is just plain lying. If she was bossy when she was making the money and he sat back and just said "yes ma" then that's his problem. Let's assume that was true (which I know is not because he would have come right out and said it) then it is fair to say that now that he is making the money he wants to pay her in her own coin. He is not saying that she is jealous, he is saying that she wants to be in more control of the money. That's his complaint. If she was a bossy person then he would not dwell only on the money issue. Maybe I am simply speaking from a married persons point of view. The story just seems to simple and one sided. I am 100% sure of that.

?:does any of us understand what it means to come from a background where we dont eat three meals daily and yet i got married to the daughter ?i guess our different background is contributing to the issues on ground,i dont know if am right

@OP

I understand you clearly. I guess your new update confirms what I have been telling Outstrip.

Her problem is that she is finding it difficult to adjust to change. She is used to being in control and she wants the status quo to remain. Give her some time. take a break if you can. Just try and understand her, its not easy loosing control, with time she will come around. All the best.

Wish you the best dude . . . . .not gonna be fun, but if you wanna fix it, you can, just try to make her understand, but dont be cocky about it

i really feel for you
and pray that God will help u solve it

i guess u need to pray about it

Nice to pray, but he needs to meet the woman at the middle too, at least try not to make the transition so "night and day" to the woman, the woman needs time to get used to the new man with the money, the woman needs time to know that the power has shifted and it is now the way it is ought to be, but not try to make her feel sad or bad.