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Deep down, we all know what we want and deserve (honest, kind, caring, considerate, stable), but the truth is that lust is blind and sometimes we ignore certain (read: important) signs before agreeing to move into something more serious. Read below for 25 non-negotiables that every woman (and man) should offer and require.

​1. He has a steady job that he actually likes.

He doesn't need to be skipping into the office, but getting into a relationship with someone who hates his job is a whole other story. Do you really want to live with someone who's miserable 40 to 80 hours of his week, or worse, stressing that he's unemployed all of the time? No, you don't. Not only will his attention be (rightfully) focused elsewhere, you'll likely feel helpless and frustrated with his endless complaining, bad moods or when he just completely shuts down.

2. He can afford to live like an adult.

There's food in the fridge, money in his savings, and he's able to carry his own weight financially while making good financial decisions. What does this mean? The hot 35-year-old trainer/model who takes you to diners for dinner but blows through money in Vegas while living with a roommate (or his mom) isn't going to be house hunting with you anytime soon.

3. He has a solid set of good friendships.

How does your guy treat his friends? Does he make an effort to actively engage the people in his life? Does he support them, appreciate them and stay connected, or does he take them for granted under the guise "they know how I feel"? You'll learn a lot about his ability to value others by paying attention. You'll also get a good sense of how independent he is.

4. He takes care of himself.

How someone feels about themselves is evident in their self-care routine. If a person isn't concerned with their own physical, mental and emotional health, they aren't valuing themselves.

Pay attention to how he lives. Does he have balance? Does he know how to relax in ways that are healthy? Or does he live in a cycle of extremes where he's burning the candle at both ends during the week, and then collapsing on the couch in front of the TV all weekend/finding his only source of "zen" playing X-box or at the bar?

5. He's able to communicate like a grown up.

He may not want to talk about every little thing all the time, but a grown woman needs a grown man who can have conversations about important topics without running away, shutting down, blame-shifting or name-calling. Can he discuss issues that are important to you? Can he bring up tricky topics without going from 0-60? Does he share how he feels in a respectful way and can he listen and actually hear what you are saying?

6. He's self-motivated.

It's tempting to want to help and coach someone you like/love, especially when you see their potential. But it's essential that a partner be able to pick themselves up when they're down and crawl out of a rut when they fall into one. Is he able to push himself to make efforts to achieve his goals? Does he have goals that he does more than just talk about? Does he have goals at all?

7. His words and actions are in-sync.

Sure, he can say he thinks, feels and values certain things, but does he live it? Paying close attention to what he does is more important than listening to what he says. Words are pretty, but the truth lies in what he actually does.

8. He knows how to nurture.

Newsflash: A plant isn't a great way to gage this (those things are hard to keep alive). You can, however, get a sense of how nurturing he is by paying attention to how he treats others.

Is he always on the receiving end of gifts, help and gestures, or does he do things to make the people around him feel cared for? Is he offering to help his mother clean the garage, bringing you soup when you're sick (without prompting), or instinctively grabbing a blanket for his sister's toddler when he notices the room is chilly? There has to be a balance in give-and-take and thoughtfulness needs to go both ways.

9. He can handle life.

Stress, bad news, setbacks and downturns happen to all of us. How does he handle it when they happen to him? Does he break down, shut down, or play the victim or martyr? It's normal to get upset and discouraged, but healthy adults take these things in as a part of life and do their best to move forward without letting it knock them out. They also learn from their mistakes and find ways to make things better next time.

10. He makes room for you in the relationship.

Read this as often as you need to: You absolutely don't want to be in a relationship with a selfish person. Being with a partner who only thinks about how he feels, what he wants and what he needs will cause you a world of hurt. Worthy partners see relationships as a partnership and are willing to approach situations with a "we" mentality.

11. He's good in bed.

Sex may not be everything, but do you really want to spend the rest of your nights having terrible sex with a selfish/mechanical/confused lover? He doesn't have to be great, but if you're cringing at the idea of sex with him, he's not the one.

12. He's able to walk away from the porn.

Looking at porn doesn't make someone a porn addict (otherwise nearly every man and many women would be getting a diagnosis). But there's a difference between looking here and there and spending hours each day on RedTube.com. Dating someone who can only be turned on by porn-style sex or who chooses porn over sex with you is not only a sign of a much deeper issue, it's going to devastate you. Just don't.

13. He's emotionally mature and available.

Don't get into a relationship with a man you have to explain basic adult emotions to. Also, if he's "not sure" what he wants relating to any subject that's important to you (commitment, children, marriage...being with you), it's not a good idea to move forward.

14. He has interests (and is interested in knowing yours).

If he has a passion for living his own life and has spent some time figuring out what brings him joy and enhances it, that's a very good sign. It's an even better sign when he wants to share that with you and get to know what makes you tick. Relationships are about two people having the same values and some shared interests, but if you're exactly the same, how will you ever grow?

15. He's accountable.

Make no mistake: accountability is a key character trait that will make or break a relationship. When someone is accountable, they're willing to own their decisions, are forced to be self-aware, and hold themselves responsible for their words and actions. There's no blame-shifting, victim mentality or twisted mind games.

16. He's respectful.

Of you, your boundaries, of the waiter, of himself, those around him and of life itself. Translation: Everything the guys growling at the cab drivers or sending you unsolicited d*ck picks on Tinder are not.

17. You feel good around him.

This one is a biggie. Too many women sit across the table from men who give them anxiety or a gut burn and try to convince themselves that it isn't what they think it is. But it is. You should feel emotionally and physically safe around the man you're out with.

18. He's consistent.

If your guy feels one thing on Monday and another on Tuesday, and flips back to Monday's thought process that Thursday, you're in for a hell of a lot of chaos.

19. You can truly see yourself with him long-term.

Not because he's good enough or fits some kind of idea of who you think you should be with, but because he shares your vision, values and makes you feel like there's a real potential for an equal, supportive, mutually-respectful (and yes, sexy) partnership.

20. He likes himself.

It's essential that someone has appreciation and love for themselves in order to fully appreciate the love you offer them.

21. He doesn't put you on a pedestal.

It sounds great in the beginning, but you aren't perfect and cannot live up to those kinds of standards. People who build you up take it really hard when they learn that — gasp! — you're human.

22. Your friends like him.

Not everyone in your life will get along, but if 40 percent of your friends have met him and are telling you he's no good for you, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate.

23. He's not selfish.

Selfish people are in a relationship with themselves. They're focused solely on their feelings, their needs, their time, their wants and what they're getting out of every situation. They're utterly impossible to reason with (nothing is ever their fault), and they will always let you down and find some way of twisting it to make it your fault. A "Me" person will drive a "we" person up-the-wall and break their heart, guaranteed.

24. You can count on him.

It shouldn't be too much to ask that you be able to count on the guy to step up and do what he says he will do, be where he says he will be, and have your back.

25. He's an overall good guy.

Not just a nice guy, but a genuinely good and decent person.

LordOfTheWeed:
Same to you sis

Thanks dear

Just want to use this medium to wish you all a merry Christmas and a prosperous new year.. Much Love from me...

My favorite is Gift - Iyanya ft Donjazzy

okay

Okay

Let's be real: sometimes we as women don't always pick the good men we deserve, and our friends are dismayed and heartbroken when we choose someone below us. Of course, our friends and our dude simply don't mix sometimes. Here are six signs your friends can't stand your boyfriend.

1. They snub him.

They never, ever want to hang out with the two of you together. But if you're up for a girls' night they will come around. But to be in your boyfriend's presence? Well, they typically make excuses. Perhaps you ought to wonder why they never want to see him.

2. They try to convince you to dump him.

In a fight with your man? It's guaranteed your girls will be beside you, rooting for you to dump that dude they cannot stand. But the second things are peaches and cream between you two, they back off a bit.

3. They constantly point out other men.

If you're out or share mutual friends and connections, your girls will point out eligible great guys (even though you're not available!), and talk about great mutual male friends you share together. Why? They're wishing you would break it off with your guy and find someone else.

4. Your boyfriend doesn't like your friends, either.

If your man doesn't like your friends, it could be because they share nothing in common. Or he can tell that they just don't like him.

5. They incite fights with him.

Your BFF who likes to pick fights or is quick to stick up for you during a fight between you and your guy? She hates your boyfriend. She'll also enjoy getting into debates with him and won't shy away from disagreeing with him, because she isn't afraid and most likely doesn't respect him.

6. They tell you, straight-up.

If your friends outwardly tell you they don't think he's good for you, they don't approve. Why? Are they being b*tchy or are they seeing issues that you're avoiding or denying? This is something only you know the answer to.

You can't please people all the time. You can only please some people, some of the time.

Carve out one-on-one time with your lady friends who don't approve of your guy if they're truly worthy friends, and explain to them how you feel about your guy. Ask them to stay by your side and support your choice even if they think he isn't good for you.

Chances are if they're great friends, they will be there no matter what. And if your guy really is a dud, they'll be your shoulders to cry on.

1. Schedule your obsessing.

While a true crush is the lifeblood of morning, noon and night, Brochard suggests you quiet the violins in your head and set aside a time to think about that special person. Like, say, during breakfast or while you walk around the block on your lunch break.

Admittedly, we've never tried this. It sort of reminds us of attempting to avoid a blinking, beautiful bowl of chocolate candy when we'd sacrifice our first born for a single M&M. Yet, Brochard suggests you have a dialogue with yourself that goes something like this: "Thought, I appreciate your coming, but I've scheduled you for seven this evening, at which time you can totally distract me if you want." You tell those thoughts who's boss!

2. Replace your crush with a hobby.

This one kills two birds with one stone. Distract yourself from the sick, delusional white wedding with Crush X in your head, and sign up for that kickboxing class you've been wanting to do for months. Brochard thinks this should be a "challenge," so the more draining the better. Time to train for that marathon or become fluent in Spanish. No slacking!

3. Accept that you're lonely.

While, yes, the person you're obsessing over may very well be Dreamy McDreamboat, the sheer fact you've allowed the fantasy to absorb so much valuable brain power is a red LONELY flag flapping in the wind. As Brochard says, "It's the emptiness within you that you have to be willing to experience, not the one who could temporarily take it away."

4. Realize that it's all in your head.

The adrenaline rush of love at its very basic level is nothing more than just a few brain synapses gone wild. Infatuation is the brain's own personal cocaine party. A few extra bumps of dopamine and suddenly the entire world is a rose-colored long walk on the beach. The sooner you realize love is as powerful a drug as anything black market, the quicker you can take control of it.

5. Write out your feelings.

If you're too ashamed to admit to anyone you've lost it hardcore for someone so utterly uninterested, try a nice, long journal session. Writing out one's emotions has been scientifically proven to help speed up the healing process.

Stop fooling yourself.

Most of us grew up on the myth of happily ever after – that image of the perfect couple riding off into the sunset. We've seen the blaze of passion, the lights that dim to mark the beautiful end of the film. And we've felt the relief that all is well with the world.

That kind of love is easy, pure and unexamined. It leads us to believe that unconditional love cannot live side by side with our needs, our imperfections, and our fears of being abandoned. How do we reconcile this contradiction?

If we look closely into our cultural relationship myth, we find three lies that MUST be confronted to really understand unconditional love.

1. If you really love each other unconditionally then your relationship shouldn’t be this hard.

Love is a process – not a static condition. It's a commitment to do the work and come back into relationship with each other. To move through whatever gets in the way of your love for one another.

You start improving your relationship by deciding to learn new communication skills. Begin to take responsibility for creating distance between you and your husband. And when you can't fix things on your own, look for help elsewhere.

2. If you are sexually attracted to someone else, you don’t really love each other.

Many times when you see your spouse's attraction to someone other than yourself (or vise versa), you may worry that they no longer love you, and you're scared of losing them.

You must realize, however, that if that attraction isn't acted upon, it's not the defining factor of his love for you. His behavior is the criteria for love, not a short lived feeling of attraction.

3. If he really loved me, he would make me happy.

Instead of assuming that your spouse must give up a part of themselves to make you happy, take time to listen deeply to one another about your concerns and feelings.

Making each other happy is not a criterion for love. The criterion for love is listening to each other with empathy and expressing your needs in a skillful way so that problem solving can create what works for both of you.

When these lies about unconditional love begin damaging your relationship, then its time to think more deeply about what love really is. When you do, you'll begin to discover that love is a process of equally committing to hard work in an effort to constantly reconnect with your partner.

Lol

Okay..

JumpingChicken:
Ask your wh0re mother!

Guess ur mum is one..

Can you trust your bf to the extent of playing like this... ?

Yes or No

JumpingChicken:
Anybody that clicks that link is a FOOL!

Can a guy be this dumb??

Sorry.. I will modify it soon.. Thanks

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Beremx:
Nigerian Army killing the wrong and harmless people.

Haba!

harmless??

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ok

Here are six dating behaviors guaranteed to scare men off that all women should avoid:

1. You trash-talk your ex-boyfriend.

I don't care if you're on your first date or on your fifteenth date with a guy — don't ever trash talk your ex. Your ex is somebody you dated, invited into your life, and with whom you spent a lot of time. So don't talk negatively about your ex in any way, because when you do this, a guy thinks that if he ever becomes your ex, you'll trash talk him the same way.

When a man asks you about your ex, the only thing you should say is, "We are no longer together. It was a great relationship while it lasted, and I learned a lot." That's it.

2. You let your paranoia run rampant.

You're dating a man you really like and the first couple weeks are cruising along really well. Then, that first boys' night out happens. You start out as the cool woman and send him a text before he goes that says "Have a great time tonight!" But as the night progresses, seeds of doubt start forming in your mind about what he's doing, and you start to think, "Is he cheating on me? Is he flirting with other women? Where is he right now?"

You send him another text asking, "What's going on? What are you doing right now?" Even though he tells you he's just hanging out with his friends, you proceed to make a major blunder and start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push a man away about as quickly as anything.

3. You speak poorly about other women.

A huge mistake women make is trash-talking other women in front of the man they're dating. For example, you're out with him when a woman walks by wearing a skimpy short skirt. What do you do? You say, "Look how slutty that woman looks! I can't believe she's going around in public like that."

What you're doing when you make comments like this is telling him that you aren't confident in the way you look. It tells him that you don't love who you are and haven't embraced your own body. You're planting a seed of doubt in him, causing him to wonder if he should date someone else who's more confident.

4. You fish for compliments.

This is something that can drive a man crazy. Here's a typical scenario: The guy you're dating looks at you and says, "You really look beautiful tonight." Ten minutes later you look at him and ask, "How do I look tonight?" Another typical scenario is where you tell a guy you really like him, to which he responds by smiling and giving you a nice little hug and kiss. Ten minutes later you ask him, "Well, do you like me, too?"

A lot of women will constantly do things like this. Stop fishing for compliments. Real compliments come from the heart. Allow us to compliment you when we feel it. If we don't feel it at the exact moment you've expressed a feeling to us, just accept it and be OK with that. Remember, a compliment should be said with no strings attached.

5. You act clingy and possessive.

When a man goes out with his friends, allow him to go out with his friends. You don't need to do everything together. You're still getting to know him! If there are things he likes to do that simply don't interest you, be cool with it. You don't have to be joined at the hip.

If you're going to a cocktail party together, you don't have to be on top of him at every moment. If you see him speaking with some woman at the party, don't immediately run over and start grabbing his hand and giving him a big hug. When you're clingy, we're going to want to get rid of you very quickly.

6. You push your friends on him way too soon.

Women will be hanging out with a guy on the first or second date and say to him, "Oh my God, you HAVE to meet my friends Jenna and Amy. You also have to meet my friends Phil and Anne. They're such a great couple and you'll love them." A man hears this and thinks, "I don't even know you yet. Can I get to know you for a month or two before I have to go meet all your friends?!"

We don't want to be "the boyfriend" right away. It's too much pressure. We want to get to know you slowly and learn what you're all about. Believe me, once we get to like you and get to know you we will be more than willing to get to know all of your friends.


Good Morning To You all!

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pussygotlips:
Welcome to zoo

where an animal like u live in

nice

LOL... but i had mine too.. it was quite embarrassing.. i can still remember vividly