₦airaland Forum

Thanks Everyone things are getting better between us now.I guess I must remember the for better for worse till death do us part vows we made to each other. I pray things work well for you all too. Thanks.

Sighs,well,i think all u need do now is pray even harder,GOD b wit u

inneedofad:
Dear house, my husband I I live in an accommodation provided by his company and its quite secluded cos he is a Caucasian. when we just got married, things were ok he was never rich I married him for love cos as at the time we meet he was earning around 80k and he made it clear from the start that he was not a millionaire so the question of marrying for money was off. We dated for 4 years exclusively before we took the big step to the alter. The problem I have now is that we have started making a family and I believe we need more funds since he is responsible for his family back at home and the family me and him are creating. I cant seem to get a decent well paid job where we are and he doesn't want me to leave to go work in another town cos he is worried such move will break our family apart. I come from a family of industrious people and women who hate depending on their men for every bit they need to buy or own. I cant afford a lot of things based on his salary and I cant get a good paying job where we live. I got a well paid job in PH but he was worried for our family and so I declined the offer, But, I have needs that I believe if I start asking from him he will think, well, you know our income range where do you want me to get that from and at the same time he cant afford to start a business for me as we were hit by tragedy that required us to borrow money to solve. I am so confused right now Please this is a genuine problem I have now no insulting and abusive posts please thank you.

First,you or rather both of u should have thought abt finances b4 marriage.
I wont advice you to leave ur husband and go to another city,its not just good for a young marriage.
Your husband can start looking for another job in another town alongside u.
Make do with whatever job and pay u get in the city where u stay for now and if u get one,pls endeavour to keep aside a little something each month,save something,no matter how small.I cant decide for u but u guys might do better if u wait for a year or 2 b4 making babies
As for the things u want that he cant afford for now,better thing no dey finish for mkt jare,u can always get them morrow.
Keep and save ur marriage first.Goodluck

@post what u need is to save ur marriage 1st. 4dos material tins,time wil tel n u wil get it. Frm ur post 1can c dt ur hobbie is tryn his best n i'l advice u dnt put further pressure on him. Just cut ur coat according to ur size

ifyalways:
First,you or rather both of u should have thought abt finances b4 marriage.
I wont advice you to leave your husband and go to another city,its not just good for a young marriage.
Your husband can start looking for another job in another town alongside u.
Make do with whatever job and pay u get in the city where u stay for now and if u get one,pls endeavour to keep aside a little something each month,save something,no matter how small.I cant decide for u but u guys might do better if u wait for a year or 2 b4 making babies 
As for the things u want that he cant afford for now,better thing no dey finish for mkt jare,u can always get them morrow.
Keep and save your marriage first.Goodluck

Our finance was fine when we got married and had our kids but like I said things just aren't working as well as they used to. We were not over the top wealthy but we had enough to meet all needs but now after the incident that we spent money on, things became tight and that's why I want to look for a good job to enable us live  more comfortable lives.

@zeal500 and dyt

thanks

inneedofad:
Our finance was fine when we got married and had our kids but like I said things just aren't working as well as they used to. We were not over the top wealthy but we had enough to meet all needs but now after the incident that we spent money on, things became tight and that's why I want to look for a good job to enable us live  more comfortable lives.

@zeal500 and dyt

thanks

My bad.I assumed u just got married and are Yet to have kids.
Theres general recession everywhere oh.
Yes, look for a better job and encourage ur hubby to do so,But don'tlet money matter separate u from ur husband and children.If u shld move,make sure u are moving with ur kids and hubby.
Endure gallantly,Joy comes in the morning.

80k? Is that naira?
If it is how about he looks for a better job  or you get whatever part time job is available in  your town?

My dear,your experience is quite pathetic.I have been in a worse scenario before.It is all part of the experience to prove whether both of you married for love or for lust.

You just have to adjust your lifestyle to the present situation you are in.It is not the issue of how much he earns it is the issue of how prudent are you with money.

You said you can't find a descent job.My dear,you need to re orientate yourself.There are families who don't earn up to 20k and they are still managing.

Things will still improve.Please get the job near to your home and control the way you spend your income.At this time,your man needs great encouragement.Don't add to his problem by anything that might upset him.

Choose to become a responsibility and not a liability

@Loveflame u av said it all, dt is d best advise for d poster.

Thanks all I have decided to talk things over with him again the biggest problem we had was that of him insisting that we travel every year to celebrate Xmas with his family and that drains our pocket the more I told him to lets reprogram ourselves so that we can afford to save money. I understand that some families live on 20k naira but in the end what kind of lives do they lead? what about health care and education for their kids? That is the kind of thing I want to avoid. We have reached an agreement on how best to live more financially balanced lives.I am also considering getting a job here too at least it will keep me busy and proud to be earning some money for the family too

I am grateful for the responses given. God bless you all.

The problem I have now is that we have started making a family and I believe we need more funds since he is responsible for his family back at home and the family me and him are creating. I cant seem to get a decent well paid job where we are and he doesn't want me to leave to go work in another town cos he is worried such move will break our family apart.

Your family financial concern is a genuine one. However, there are certain things you cannot trade for your family's togetherness. Listen to your husband. Manage the little you have now. Do not try to impress people not even your family members. It is the best for couples to live together.

Yes, you are confronted with a challenge. Do not be perturbed. It's a season. Every couple has been there and will there. But, it will pass away. That should be a consolation for you and your husband. At such a critical time like this, there is a tendency to want to rush things. Be patient. Work and walk through it with your husband.

And without sounding religious, I cannot but say it- Be Prayerful. Divinity factor cannot be undermined.

Your problems are typical problems. Your marriage is not at the brink of collapse.
Finance is a big issue in many marriages. Hardly anyone has as much money as he needs. It is very realistic that money is tight in a young marriage, sometimes later one looks back at the good old days.
I wish I could turn back the time sometimes. Managing and sharing and planning everything together, we were so close and happy then.

i see no collapse in ur home. dont wish ur self evil.

Thanks all. I was thinking of leaving and going out for more useful life out there I was tired of sitting at home doing nothing. God bless you all. It was embarrassing to sit at home from dusk till dawn doing nothing for 3 years it felt like the world was passing me by. After our discussions my brother offered to lend us some money so I can set up a business oh God I am so looking forward to getting busy. Now I feel useful to myself.

Good for you and i hope everything works out fine for you.LIfe can be very frustrating when you feel like an onlooker and life"s just passing by am glad you have decided to take charge of your life.