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Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? - Career - Nairaland

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Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by FarFromAverage: 3:52pm On Aug 14
Hey Nlanders.
?
Please don't mock me.

I can't seem to boast of any achievement, not that I don't know anything. Because of stammering, my confidence level has dropped. My errors are perpetually seen whenever an activity is given to me to present on the stage or in the midst of people.

I'll be 20 this year, and from the look of how things are, despite the consistent efforts been put in controlling myself, I don't think I have any other alternatives in this life.

I've read books, watched YouTube videos on how to get rid of it, read articles from experienced people who stammer(even here)...... but nothing seems to be clicking.

People now see me as a rude person, as a person who don't enjoy talking or chilling with them, without knowing that I'm only trying to hide my stammering from them.
cry cry
I've failed too much in presenting my opinions, and it is making me hate myself, it is making me to become rude in responding to people, which has never been me.

I've tried all techniques of speaking(eg, slowing down) but those techniques don't correspond to who I am. For instance, in speaking slowly, I'm a fast talker. I feel pained whenever I try to pretend a realm that's not mine.

Most times, I feel ashamed of seeing my mates doing presentation on the stage. At times I would even bow my head down. Even on TV, any program that has to do with teenagers speaking, I quickly change that station; instead I prefer watching anime and network news just to ease depression. cry

CC Seun Lalasticlala Dominique, mynd44, Richiez, 1forall, CrazyMan
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by Officialgarri: 3:57pm On Aug 14
You have no choice than to follow the laid down principle.

"Slow down'' and then don't talk loudly. Just be slow and calm. The moment u raise ur voice.... U will stammer.

If you don't do it now, you will be another Moses who didn't get to the promise land due to his anger which I believe resulted from his stammering nature
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by femcentz: 4:12pm On Aug 14
without you slowing down and be calm before you talk u will keep on stammering dont compare yourself with people who talk fast and dont be afraid to face your challenge. i stammer also but i got no choice than to be calm, talkless and avoid some words which are difficult to pronounce, dont get annoy when people around you laugh at you when you stammer instead join them to laugh
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by FarFromAverage: 4:23pm On Aug 14
Officialgarri:
You have no choice than to follow the laid down principle.

"Slow down'' and then don't talk loudly. Just be slow and calm. The moment u raise ur voice.... U will stammer.

If you don't do it now, you will be another Moses who didn't get to the promise land due to his anger which I believe resulted from his stammering nature
Imagine that you're the type that eats 3-4 times a day. And then one day someone walks and says that from today you'll be eating 2 times per day. Now tell me, how would you feel when you start this exercise?
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by Officialgarri: 4:27pm On Aug 14
FarFromAverage:

Imagine that you're the type that eats 3-4 times a day. And then one day someone walks and says that from today you'll be eating 2 times per day. Now tell me, how would you feel when you start this exercise?
Of course, I'll feel bad but I'll adjust.

Come, tell me, what's your point?
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by czarina(f): 7:36pm On Aug 14
Officialgarri:


Come, tell me, what's your point?
He meins, he can't slow down. He's a rolling stone. grin


Op, slow down, that is the best you can do for now. Even if you can afford therapy, I'm not sure such exists in Nigeria.
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by dottozil: 11:39pm On Aug 14
You still have hope, you are better than some people, some are struggling to even stammer let alone talk. There is a reason you are who you are, the earlier you realise and accept the fact that you are a stammerer the better.

First you have to know it won't go overnight infact you can only reduce It, have seen someone who told me she's a stammerer but I didn't believe cos it has been reduced to the lowest point I only believed her when I provoked her one day.

I believe the best way to go about it, is keep calm when talking don't just talk anyhow, talk gently. If you are angry try to calm down and talk gently, understand the fact that you are walking towards achieving something. I believe overtime you will be able to talk Well. We all have our various deficiencies while some can be controlled some can't, be proud of yourself. Goodluck

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Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by danthamccoy(m): 12:25pm On Aug 15
FarFromAverage:

Imagine that you're the type that eats 3-4 times a day. And then one day someone walks and says that from today you'll be eating 2 times per day. Now tell me, how would you feel when you start this exercise?
You have to sacrifice to get what you want. It will not be easy. People have had to surmount incredible obstacles to get to their goals. You can too.
Any stammerer can overcome or at least alleviate stammering. That is a fact. Knowing it is very possible to get past this, you have to be prepared to do what you have to do. It will be worth it.
You even have access to resources that will greatly aid you. Many stammerers don't even think it's possible to speak normally.
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by sparkle7: 6:17pm On Aug 15
Op. I am a stammerer myself but I noticed that it becomes worse speaking my local language but I do speak fluently with English. I don't know nor can I explain this phenomenon.
So I ask you, do you speak a little fluent without stuts when speaking English?
One thing that can make one stammer so bad is anger, most stammerers have gun powder temper, in order to control your speech, you should learn to ice anger when talking to people.
It is natural for anyone to get angry but how you control it matters.
Try to talk one at a time even when someone is getting you angry.
Also memorize a bit what you want to say in your memory at least twice before speaking, that way, you would be able to speak clearly as you already know what to say.
That in turn means that you shouldn't be too fast to talk during discussion with your pals, learn to listen properly then say your quota. Make it as brief as you can, you need to start out small.
Don't go into discussions that would require you make a descriptive essay on the fly. That invariably means you should not speak for to long. Keep it brief, don't talk too much.
As regards the fact that you mentioned about being hostile to people just because you can't express yourself fully, I recommend you drop such habit.
It is very bad being hostile with people.
Here is a little activity that you should do at least once a day.
Bring a mirror or better still on your phone recorder.
In case you have mirror, compose a speech on the fly and talk to your other self in the mirror.
It doesn't matter if you are saying nonsense, so far as it is English, you got nothing to worry about.
Continue talking to yourself ensuring that you make proper pronunciation of each word.
Just keep talking whatever that comes to your head. Envisage that you are in the presence of a large crowd and given a topic to present.
The large crowd is your other self in the mirror, begin your presentation and ensure to be eloquent not paying attention to your talking speed.
Hopefully with time you can increase your talking speed but for the time being, make it audible and as eloquent as you can muster.
The second way is to use your phone recorder and record yourself speaking.
It doesn't matter if what your are saying is not semantically correct, what we are after here is the audibility and eloquence of your speech, the rest can come later.
You can choose a topic like 'About yourself'
Say all the cool things you can do, your skills, your name, everything about you.
Say it like you are talking to somebody.
Each session should be at least 15 minutes.
Yeah 15 minutes of blowing your trumpet.
After you are through, listen to them and decide if the recording can pass off In a normal conversation with a real human.
If you still have some stuttering in the recording, try it all over again until you can go for at least 15minutes straight without stammering.
Do this everyday.
This procedure helped me a lot, especially the mirror method because it helps you to be composed not only in voice but also in body posture.
BTW, a standing mirror is perfect for the procedure.
Strive to make succeeding speech sessions to be better then its predecessor, that way you should he able to know if you are making progress or not.
Thank me later sir.
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by Joeblis(m): 11:38pm On Aug 15
Well, as someone who's also in your shoes, I'm going to tell you truth. Have you ever wondered why you don't stutter when talking to yourself? Based on my experience I think stuttering is majorly psychological.
Acceptance in this case is key. Stop trying to be someone else because what works for A might not work for B. Many books will proffer solutions that will not align to the peculiarity of your case. You need to know what works for you.
To me the ultimate solution is acceptance, when you have this in mind they'll less pressure to always proof your point.
I wouldn't term stuttering as a disability though, I look at it as one of the many hurdles of life you need to conquer.
Just stay calm, the fact that you've noticed that you are a fast talker and this is in some way detrimental, I think it'll be best if you adjust.
Just keep fighting and stop over-reacting I'll go a long way.
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by wamiikechukwu(m): 8:58am On Aug 16
I did not want to comment at first, but since I fall into this category I will have to.

the first step is acceptance, you have to just love your self for what are you, there is no two ways about it.

secondly, know what makes you stutter, as for me, it is always trying to prove my self or point when discussing, so I only do that when it's necessary and I know I am passing knowledge out, not on some useless discussion.

and lastly, there are some certain words I find hard to pronounce.

But in all, I can talk to anyone, the highest they will do is ask me to repeat myself.

let me give you an instance, during my school seminar, I was a bit scare on how to talk to the crowd when I finally started, the first few seconds is great as I had already memorize the sentence, so it came smoothly, when I looked at my lecturers face, I saw they were impressed immediately I started stuttering when I was done, I felt bad, I asked my friends how I did do; they said I did great, results came out I got a B while they got a C and D.
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by FarFromAverage: 4:35pm On Aug 17
czarina post=81258361 :
He meins, he can't slow down. He's a rolling stone. grin


Op, slow down, that is the best you can do for now. Even if you can afford therapy, I'm not sure such exists in Nigeria.

You don't wanna know the kind of pains and frustration i'm passing through, right?
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by FarFromAverage: 4:45pm On Aug 17
sparkle7:
Op. I am a stammerer myself but I noticed that it becomes worse speaking my local language but I do speak fluently with English. I don't know nor can I explain this phenomenon.
So I ask you, do you speak a little fluent without stuts when speaking English?
One thing that can make one stammer so bad is anger, most stammerers have gun powder temper, in order to control your speech, you should learn to ice anger when talking to people.
It is natural for anyone to get angry but how you control it matters.
Try to talk one at a time even when someone is getting you angry.
Also memorize a bit what you want to say in your memory at least twice before speaking, that way, you would be able to speak clearly as you already know what to say.
That in turn means that you shouldn't be too fast to talk during discussion with your pals, learn to listen properly then say your quota. Make it as brief as you can, you need to start out small.
Don't go into discussions that would require you make a descriptive essay on the fly. That invariably means you should not speak for to long. Keep it brief, don't talk too much.
As regards the fact that you mentioned about being hostile to people just because you can't express yourself fully, I recommend you drop such habit.
It is very bad being hostile with people.
Here is a little activity that you should do at least once a day.
Bring a mirror or better still on your phone recorder.
In case you have mirror, compose a speech on the fly and talk to your other self in the mirror.
It doesn't matter if you are saying nonsense, so far as it is English, you got nothing to worry about.
Continue talking to yourself ensuring that you make proper pronunciation of each word.
Just keep talking whatever that comes to your head. Envisage that you are in the presence of a large crowd and given a topic to present.
The large crowd is your other self in the mirror, begin your presentation and ensure to be eloquent not paying attention to your talking speed.
Hopefully with time you can increase your talking speed but for the time being, make it audible and as eloquent as you can muster.
The second way is to use your phone recorder and record yourself speaking.
It doesn't matter if what your are saying is not semantically correct, what we are after here is the audibility and eloquence of your speech, the rest can come later.
You can choose a topic like 'About yourself'
Say all the cool things you can do, your skills, your name, everything about you.
Say it like you are talking to somebody.
Each session should be at least 15 minutes.
Yeah 15 minutes of blowing your trumpet.
After you are through, listen to them and decide if the recording can pass off In a normal conversation with a real human.
If you still have some stuttering in the recording, try it all over again until you can go for at least 15minutes straight without stammering.
Do this everyday.
This procedure helped me a lot, especially the mirror method because it helps you to be composed not only in voice but also in body posture.
BTW, a standing mirror is perfect for the procedure.
Strive to make succeeding speech sessions to be better then its predecessor, that way you should he able to know if you are making progress or not.
Thank me later sir.

Sorry for the late reply.....
I'm really grateful Sir, but you see, I don't feel comfortable with my life anymore.....
I've tried the above. It even pain more when I keep trying. At times I do wonder whether my stammering is different from other stammerings. When ever I slow down to speak it gets worsen up....
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by FarFromAverage: 4:46pm On Aug 17
wamiikechukwu:
I did not want to comment at first, but since I fall into this category I will have to.

the first step is acceptance, you have to just love your self for what are you, there is no two ways about it.

secondly, know what makes you stutter, as for me, it is always trying to prove my self or point when discussing, so I only do that when it's necessary and I know I am passing knowledge out, not on some useless discussion.

and lastly, there are some certain words I find hard to pronounce.

But in all, I can talk to anyone, the highest they will do is ask me to repeat myself.

let me give you an instance, during my school seminar, I was a bit scare on how to talk to the crowd when I finally started, the first few seconds is great as I had already memorize the sentence, so it came smoothly, when I looked at my lecturers face, I saw they were impressed immediately I started stuttering when I was done, I felt bad, I asked my friends how I did do; they said I did great, results came out I got a B while they got a C and D.



Thanks Sir.... I'll try this out.
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by FarFromAverage: 4:56pm On Aug 17
sparkle7:
Op. I am a stammerer myself but I noticed that it becomes worse speaking my local language but I do speak fluently with English. I don't know nor can I explain this phenomenon.
So I ask you, do you speak a little fluent without stuts when speaking English?
One thing that can make one stammer so bad is anger, most stammerers have gun powder temper, in order to control your speech, you should learn to ice anger when talking to people.
It is natural for anyone to get angry but how you control it matters.
Try to talk one at a time even when someone is getting you angry.
Also memorize a bit what you want to say in your memory at least twice before speaking, that way, you would be able to speak clearly as you already know what to say.
That in turn means that you shouldn't be too fast to talk during discussion with your pals, learn to listen properly then say your quota. Make it as brief as you can, you need to start out small.
Don't go into discussions that would require you make a descriptive essay on the fly. That invariably means you should not speak for to long. Keep it brief, don't talk too much.
As regards the fact that you mentioned about being hostile to people just because you can't express yourself fully, I recommend you drop such habit.
It is very bad being hostile with people.
Here is a little activity that you should do at least once a day.
Bring a mirror or better still on your phone recorder.
In case you have mirror, compose a speech on the fly and talk to your other self in the mirror.
It doesn't matter if you are saying nonsense, so far as it is English, you got nothing to worry about.
Continue talking to yourself ensuring that you make proper pronunciation of each word.
Just keep talking whatever that comes to your head. Envisage that you are in the presence of a large crowd and given a topic to present.
The large crowd is your other self in the mirror, begin your presentation and ensure to be eloquent not paying attention to your talking speed.
Hopefully with time you can increase your talking speed but for the time being, make it audible and as eloquent as you can muster.
The second way is to use your phone recorder and record yourself speaking.
It doesn't matter if what your are saying is not semantically correct, what we are after here is the audibility and eloquence of your speech, the rest can come later.
You can choose a topic like 'About yourself'
Say all the cool things you can do, your skills, your name, everything about you.
Say it like you are talking to somebody.
Each session should be at least 15 minutes.
Yeah 15 minutes of blowing your trumpet.
After you are through, listen to them and decide if the recording can pass off In a normal conversation with a real human.
If you still have some stuttering in the recording, try it all over again until you can go for at least 15minutes straight without stammering.
Do this everyday.
This procedure helped me a lot, especially the mirror method because it helps you to be composed not only in voice but also in body posture.
BTW, a standing mirror is perfect for the procedure.
Strive to make succeeding speech sessions to be better then its predecessor, that way you should he able to know if you are making progress or not.
Thank me later sir.

I'm not audible when speaking, just like how fast the whites speak, I mean their ladies, that's how I speak but difference is that there is a holdup whenever I speak.
Unlike the stammerers that do close their eyes while speaking and the ah - ah - ah - ah - ah that's been done, I don't do all of these.
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by czarina(f): 5:08pm On Aug 17
FarFromAverage:


You don't wanna know the kind of pains and frustration i'm passing through, right?
Calm down. I empathize with you and you know it. You can re-read the other paragraph.
Re: Stammerer: Do I Still Have Hope Left For The Future? by MapleSettlers: 6:41pm On Aug 17
Hello There..stutterer over here grin

I need you to tell yourself that it will get better with time. First step is to accept this part of you because based on my experience, its not going anywhere. I totally get what you are feeling because I have been there and sometimes life takes there sometimes. You need to be comfortable with stuttering as theres nothing you can do about it and try to live your life and not compare yourself with other people. after being comfortable i think you might be at ease and even when you are speaking with people and you have blocks, you will be a little less embarrassed about it than before.. work hard and please live your life and don't beat yourself.

Please visit my blog and podcast when you can. I am speaking about how stuttering as an African and this is not what pple talk about..
thank you.
https://theafricanstutterer.home.blog/
https://anchor.fm/tas0

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