Chronic Old Time Jokers go don see this one - na for our latest recruits / newbies 

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door
of your house and bark at anyone
who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of
twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people,
do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year
life span."
The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long
time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the
field with the farmer all day
long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the
farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry
and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty,
the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years
we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do
monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years
we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Two fleas meet up every year in miami, however one year the first flea turns up shivering.

"whats up?" asks the second flea.

"I rode down here in the moustach of a man on a Harley Davidson" replies the first flea.

"Oh, what you should do is, what i do, go to the nearest airport bar, have a drink, find a nice stewardess and crawl up her skirt to a nice cosy place, then youll get here, nice and warm. "

"Ok, i;ll try that says the first flea. "

The following year they meet again, the first flea is shivering.

"I went to an airport bar, found a nice stewardess and crawled up her skirt to a lovely cosy spot. It was so warm, I fell asleep and when i woke up,
I was in the moustach of a man on a Harley Davidson."

The first joke is cooooool!

^^ Thanks Jamace

glad u like it

;d ;d ;d ;d

"I went to an airport bar, found a nice stewardess and crawled up her skirt to a lovely cosy spot. It was so warm, I fell asleep and when i woke up,
I was in the moustach of a man on a Harley Davidson."

nice 1

^^ thanks!!

Lmao

6 yrs ago

Ifeanyi4491:
6 yrs ago

When jokes section used to be jokes section