₦airaland Forum

How Do I Use You (TIME)?
Time,a mobile friend and a stagnant foe
Ever mibile and dynamic
Never on anybody's side but for all
You are either too slow and too fast
Slower for lazy nes and faster for workaholic
Both frown at you wishing to exchange circumstances
Making it slower for hardworkers and a little faster for idle masters
O!How indellible you are Time
Wish i could customize you for mypersonal use
But opportunity is not wise when it is not used
Favor you show on those who save you
But anguish and disappointment you shower on those procrastinating
The more concious I am of you,the more dilligent I am in exhibiting efficiency
Accolades and blessings are effects of your preservation
AH!How wise I am when I ask myself-"How Do I Use You?"

pretty good !
just take out the "(TIME)" at the end of line 1, the "TIME" at the beginning of line 2 and the end of line 9; then you've got a much better poem.

there was no need for those extras; the title alreadu gives an insight into what the poems all about and most times its better to phrase your poem in a way that it'd be "multi-faceted" - basically, it'd mean different things to different people observing it from different perspectives !

all in all, you did great - can only get better; read books to expand your vocab and as such you'll have more choice/exotic words at your disposal !