₦airaland Forum

If we all choose the city,how then do we educate bulk of illiterate who are living in the village.

Everyday we read on almost all forum that education standard is falling. It is now common knowledge even to those that are not lettered.
It is also common knowledge that everyone has an accusing finger but I will like to just forget about the roles of other stakeholders and face the teachers here.
What would your response be if you were asked to choose between a position as a teacher in the city and a principal in a local village with no social amenities.

I would not have thought of writing a tribute to the dead if I have not seen the unofficial two thousand naira note posted by a friend on face book. The creative note has on it the picture of the late Nigerian president Yaradua and the Nigerian pop singer, the late CEO Dagrin.
My avaricious nature threw me off balance on seeing what looks like a two hundred naira note but with an additional zero written behind the normal two zeroes that are universally accepted to come with anything hundred. Thinking that I will win this unofficial note, I came up with a tribute for the dead regardless of how the dead will feel.
Long before now, I am always afraid the dead will strike back when I speaks ill of them. Thanks to PHCN, the Nigerian electric power company, they made my fear real by switching on and off the light without warning. This makes me think every time that the dead are at work and will scare me with the light as I see in scary movies. Right now, the note is on my mind and not the ghost. So here is my short note to the dead.
Hello Dead ones,
You have just set a record of fulfilling the most feared characteristics of a living thing. Something I do not want to do right now. It is only pathetic to know that the CEO skipped reproduction before death.He refused to deposit his gonad hormone into the museum of continuity. CEO, do not be scared, we have a lot of people here who will not waste their talent in reproduction. Be rest assured. Please go to Fela's self-contain and make collaboration with him. The music must enlighten the global dead about our roads and the danger of plying it. Let them know that we, the living youth especially the hustlers among us, are only lucky in getting extra grace from God, if not we will have been there with them.
My Late President, relate with dead Nigerians out there. Grant them amnesty so that they can have a second chance to truly show the global dead that talents waste in the country you once ruled. I know you are not used to taking orders since you became the president in 2007.It is protocol and not you that made that happened and that was evident in the last few days you spent with us here in the land of the living. They transported you from Saudi back home without your orders. They made you take their orders somehow .Please tell your brother and his SDP friend about this.
One other thing I want you to tell them is the utterance of a man who feels he is too old among the living Nigerians. He said the youth have nothing to offer and yet they offer him peace. Can you please in your humble position request him to see you for a cup of tea? Oh...i remember there is one more thing I really want you to hold on to. The people who ordered six thousand policemen to guide a judgment did not find it deem to do the same for you when you came back from Saudi. Maybe they feel the living has more to spend than the sick who believe too much in the rule of law...I wouldn't know.
Make sure you ask Pa T.M Aluko to proof read your speech before delivering your welcome speech. My reason is clear, if you give it to a journalist, he won't elaborate it. He is used to writing in a small limited space and you won't be able to express your annoyance but writers will embelish every thought of yours with suitable figure of speech. He is used to expanding one sentence into a whole book. So take your time and do not bother responding to this note. There is no psychic here that can receive or read that which you will like to say. Just keep it till the day when every man will respond to the trumpet. A day every man will explain their role concerning your death. That day will be sooner or later. On that day, every man will account for himself and Pa Aluko will be glad to have titled a book that will be similar to the title of the day.ONE MAN,ONE DEATH AND ONE JUDGEMENT.

HOT SEAT

Joblessness brings its own tag. Many people call jobless people names they are not. Last night, my neighbour called me a dull head. To prove to him that I am not, I put in for a show called who wants to be a comedian? Instead of finding my way to the show, I found my way to this dramatic show. Here are some of the questions I was asked.

1. Which of the following actions will you take if you were a suicide bomber on a mission and you see a plane carrying the learner sign? You will
A. Continue with the mission without the bomb
B. Go back home and see it as a mission about to be accomplished
C. Drop your bomb and watch on T.V a twin suicide bombing
D. Drop the board and go in with your bomb
This question goes for a 150,000 Naira prize. So, I sat tight and brainstorm what the answer will be. I was told that the answer must be the same as what the organizer of the show had already picked and that it must be witty.
I am not a suicide bomber and never plan to be one. So answering this question of course is a difficult one. I brainstormed and the results of my thoughts are
If I went for option B, I knew it won’t be right. A suicide bomber will like to die. He is not an air raider that drops bomb on city in the name of been patriotic and watches his action on screen.

I won’t let myself be tricked with option A. The counter terrorist unit, FBI and CIA might have got a tip and use the learner sign as a decoy.
I spent most of my time thinking between option C and D. But I remembered the rule that says my answer must be witty. So, I chose D. It will be wise to drop the learner sign. This will reduce panic and increase the number of people to be bombed.
I got the answer right to my surprise. This made me feel as if I was in a Terrorist training camp answering some questions.
The next question came and it was a question from the past. I was not scared but hope I will be able to answer it correctly.

Q.2 what if Hitler had not died? The world would have
A. Been His
B. Empty
C. Better
D. The way it is now
I drop the possibility of picking option A. It contradicts the belief of many who believe in the existence of God. I assumed the organizers of the show also believe in God. In God will trust was written on the wall of the room where I was kept before the audition. If they do, it will be unwise for me to choose option A. As it will contradict my belief of God created the Heaven and the Earth.
The moderator or quiz master asked me if I wanted to use any of my lifelines. I told him no and went on to consider option B. The advance research in Science and technology of bomb making makes me feel option B will be an option to consider but I didn’t chose it rather I went for D.
“Is that your final answer”, he asked in a confusing tone.
“Yes, it is” I replied with a less confident voice. The thought of losing all the money I have earned baffled me but I was determined to take a risk. This risk will earn me a hundred and fifty thousand naira more.
“You are absolutely right” he shouted.
I shook hand with the moderator and he asked me why I had gone for D.
“Killings, oppression and avoidable conflict are been reported every day in the news. So it is not changing anything. It is just the same only that it is not done by one man but many, who feel they have the power to change the world”
When he asked the third question which will make me earns five hundred thousand naira and will put me on a guarantee level. I was again left speechless despite the fact that it is a question concerning my nation, Nigeria.

Q3. If there was no economic recession, the corrupt public servant will be
A. Mad by now
B. Poor by now
C. Remain the same
D. All live in EFCC custody
I looked at all the option and felt the safest way will be to ask you the audience. What will you go for and why? I will not like to lose my money as there is no option of walking away

In case you missed yesterday's celebration,then read this:
MAUL premiere soon.

President Jonathan has given the youth a topic to tweet about. Months after the occupy naija(a term coined after the occupy wall street protest) tweets made twitter realise its position in Nigeria's social media market is not threatened .
GEJ has brought back the controversy in this new episode called MAUL. He stepped on the time machine to bring back the martyr but because there is no place for the dead in Abuja, he placed him in Lagos and the youth are back on twitter making jest of one another. The president as well is not spared.
For a man who made a promise to bring back the books during his campaigns,this obviously is not a way to restart a relationship with those who will read the book. Forcing an increase in the costs of items that make the books stick is already an insult, as more students are forced to drop out and help their parents see the better Nigeria they have all been promised. If I remember,its 2020.
How the president will cope with the series of insults these irate youth will chant in their proposed protest is one of the few actions that this new film promises. This time,there is no minister to share out of the blame as the case was in January.
Another plot, viewers will like to see is the president's method of dealing with insults from his citizens. If the president gets angry like he did in january when he sent military men to scare his citizen in some parts of the country,then he would be seen as a real disciplinarian, who is just not ready to tackle the Boko haram issue because he believes in dialogue.
And conclusively,everyone wants to see a forgiving president who will understand this article and other events that will unfold are just a form of replies that clearly says" we have forgiven you but have not forgotten your palliative measures,which should have been done before this"
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