Pending:
I am reflecting on my life, and just can’t but wonder how jealousy is a self-defeating trait most people possess.
It happens that I lost my parents at a tender age (mostly relating to spiritual attacks from those who don’t want my dad’s progress, and my mum follow soon afterward)
My dad mum had only two male children for my grandad, so we literally have only one man left to call a dad. But, he lives far away in a different city at that time, so my maternal grandmother took us in and we live in the village with her.
However, my uncle does send money for our education, but I think the money is not always accounted for so my uncle’s wife pressure her husband to bring us over. She loved us very much then and took us like her children.
However, something happened that will change my experience living with them.
My uncle is a man that dreams, and his dream does come to pass. So, he dreamt that I grew up to be very successful to the extent that his children all depended on me.
He told his wife, and a new type of demon enter into her. She became a devil.
I once overheard her fighting with her husband over the dream. She so much insulted him, saying he shamelessly dreamt that his brother children succeed over his children and he is happy about it.
She changed towards me in particular. She so much hated me and did everything possible to make me feel like an imposter. We the children all live together like siblings and love each other, but she sowed discord among us.
She didn’t want me to continue with my education if she had her way, but God always help me and I at least finish my secondary education over there.
She even go naked to tempt me.
There was a time she stopped sleeping in her husband room and came to sleep in our room instead. She will have her bath and put on wrapper that will later come loose in the middle of the night.
I am the type that always wake up at night to urinate, so I do see her lying naked, but will ignore believing she got careless from tying only wrapper to sleep. However, I got to know it was a trap to implicate me when she one day vouch for me that I am not a pervert when we had a female visitor that was to use our room.
Those are some of the things she did. But, I scaled through. However, I began to challenge her as I grow older, and scared that she no longer have control over me finally have a way to send me back to my mother’s people. My brother left soon after on his own because we were literally being treated like a slave in our own uncles house.
I enter the street on my own, did a lot of menial job and use my educational knowledge to learn a digital skill, which finally pave way for me to be independent.
Although, I am still struggling, I believe all will get well some day.
Now, back to the self defeating trait I said initially.
Her children are currently in higher institutions (I also hope to gain admission this year by God’s grace, and I believe God will see me through). But her worst fear is already coming to pass.
The economy is currently not smiling on anyone, so she can’t always send money to her children in school. When they are in need, they contact me. Although I don’t have much myself, but I always have some savings whenever I work, and I send the little I have.
However, is it not better if she has supported me from the beginning?
The reason I am still struggling is because I had zero support. I had to fix my mental health (which I am grateful for sending me the right help) deal with the cold outer world and manage to utilize the little resources I have to start providing my digital skill.
But if I have the right support, I would have grown really fast. And everyone will be more comfortable, because I can’t ignore my siblings if they need my help.
The whole jealousy stuff is just self defeating in my opinion. You're right in your conclusion about jealousy The truth is that it is part of the human nature, and unfortunately, it cannot be eradicated no matter how much we would want to. Meanwhile, how did you conclude your parents were killed through spiritual attacks by the enemies?? I never believe in such bizarre stuffs, because no human alive has such powers, otherwise, the jealousy that formed the core of your write-up wouldn't exist in the first place. Humans are naturally jealous because that's all they can do; they do not have any supernatural power to effect their wishes. If they had, they wouldn't waste their time merely being jealous. |
