₦airaland Forum

The Bread Massage

By Ahmed Dodo

The sound of his voice and his explicit massage to his family are still tormenting me even as I confess this story. His short massage to his beloved family till date contains the shortest sentence that would definitely haunt me to my grave. First, let me brief you on my background.
I am a retired police officer who was honorably discharged as an Inspector. I am not going to tell you my country, my tribe or race for the sake of my family. All you should know is the fact that I was once a policeman now fully retired. But what I thought would be a happy retirement has turned out to be the biggest nightmare in my life after serving my country for 40 years as a policeman. I had thought retirement from the Force would help cool down the daily tension of always seeing arrested suspects which instantly reminded me of the face and voice of one of the innocent men I helped send to the gallows some years ago.

I feel like a slave in my present guilty conscience dilemma and I think I don’t deserve any pity from the society and mercy from the authority. But all the same, I hope my confession to this heinous crime would help set my mind at rest a little and as well prompt the creator to forgive me.

This was how it happened. Our secret informer inside the prison system who happened to be part of our syndicate informed me one afternoon as the officer in charge of the anti-robbery division that the prison authourity would soon commence the approved execution of some of the condemned criminals in their yard the next day. The man who was also the officer in charge of this execution was a money conscious officer like me. We both worshipped money more than God. So he happily informed me that an arrangement had been concluded with five of the condemned prisoners to switch their lives with others for 5 Million jefas, which was less than  $5,000 American dollars at that time. That was one million jefas per life. He further informed me when we met that evening at our rendezvous that the money was inside his car at that moment and that the deal was sealed.  He gave me half of the money to share with my boys and took the remaining half to share with his own boys who were also part of our syndicate. I gave my boys 1 million jefas to share among themselves and pocketed the remaining.  I was certain he did the same too. We then organized ourselves and went for the operation.

The plan was for me as the officer in charge of robbery to lead my boys on an illegal patrol, arrest five innocent suspects and quickly substitute them for the five condemned prisoners by all means before the next day. The greed of the money swiftly prompted me to mobilize my equally greedy subordinates and we quickly went to work that night across the town. We arrested four innocent night crawlers and pushed them forcefully into our van.

***

The fifth guy we forcefully arrested was the cause of my present predicament. I had personally arrested him as he came out of a corner around his neighbourhood and quickly froze on sighting our van and my uniformed frame. I noticed that he was a young man and equally noted that he had a loaf of bread in his hand. It was one of those cheap breads that cost about 200 jefas. He was dressed casually in a faded brown trouser and worn-out singlet. He had patched rubber slippers on his feet and fear written all over his round face.
‘Hey! You, stop there. Who are you and what are you doing outside by this time?’ I barked and demanded with the threat of my gun.
My boys, a broad shoulder sergeant and two drunken looking corporals were inside the van guarding the other four suspects who were still pleading for their freedom.
‘Good evening, officer. My house is close by; I rushed out to buy bread for my family. I never knew the time was late.’ He stammered out then stared frightfully at my gun and the van.

‘ What do you mean you don’t know it was late?. So you came out to buy bread at odd hours?’ I said mockingly and glanced at my wristwatch.
 I noted that it was just close to twelve midnight. I knew it was a fair time, but all the same, we had a target and no excuse at that moment would have made me change my mind. So I promptly arrested him and with the assistance of my broad shoulder sergeant forced him towards our van. He pleaded heaven and earth and begged for mercy. But all his pleading and protest had no effect on us. We forced him into the van and then drove off into the night.

We got them safely to the prison that night and working secretly with our syndicate inside the prison we quickly substituted our five suspects with the five condemned prisoners and quietly dispatched ourselves.  I shook hands happily with the officer in charge of our syndicate inside the prison and was halfway on my way out through a narrow corridor when I instinctively raised my head and found myself staring into the eyes of the fifth suspect with the bread. They were at that moment being led into their condemned cells. I noticed that they were now all dressed in the real condemned men's uniforms. Our eyes met and he paused momentarily to stare at me. I shifted my eyes hurriedly away with a pang of guilt deep inside my soul. Then to my surprise, he paused and then gestured to me. The three sturdy warders who were leading them away paused and stared at us. I never knew what pushed me to move towards him, but I frowned and stepped up to him. I was curious to know what he had to say. But I now wished I had not waited to hear his message. He stared silently into my eyes for some seconds then gave me his parting massage and an unexpected gift to his family before he was finally led away into his cell that night to await his execution the next day.
***
As I earlier mentioned in the beginning of this confession. The sound of his voice is still tormenting me up to this moment. I can still hear his distinct voice and sorrowful tone vividly as he passed down his message and then handed me his gift to his wife and two kids immediately he realized what I had led him into and what was going to happen to him.

'‘Hello, officer, kindly tell my wife what happened and most importantly be kind to give them this bread, my wife and two kids. Tell them I got the bread but could not bring it home. They were hungry when I left them and knew I was going to get them this bread. It was what I went out to get and it landed me in trouble.’ He said still staring at my face but I could not bring myself to stare back at him. ‘I will be happy to know that at least I succeeded in getting them something to eat even if it was the last time. Please personally take the bread to them. Thank you.’

He added, stared thoughtfully at me for some seconds, turned and then bravely followed the others into their condemned cells.
I stared miserably at the bread in my hand and was surprised that I could not throw it away. Though it was a small loaf of bread, its weight felt like a big stone in my hand. I realized it was a parting gift that would haunt me forever. I staggered out of the corridor dejected and made my way out of the prison. I knew I had sold my soul to the devil for the last time that day. Nothing in my life was ever going to be the same again. I was from that day just a dead man waiting for his time any moment. There was nothing I could do to stop their execution the next day. The greed and fear inside me suppressed my thought of rushing down to confess our crime to our superiors and save the lives of these innocent men.

 The five men were executed the next day as ordered by the authourity and nobody apart from our syndicate knew exactly what happened till this moment as I confessed the crime. The cheap money I got from the heinous crime fizzled away quickly like smoke with nothing worthy to show from it. In fact, none of us did anything meaningful with our share of the blood money as I know rightly called it. But I am certain that all of us are still daily tormented by the crime and the spirits of these five innocent men we orchestrated to the gallows. I believe deep inside me that I carried the biggest sin in my role of arresting the fifth suspect with his bread. His voice still torments me every second, every minute and every day and his explicit farewell message to his wife and kids are like little sharp pins pricking my conscience constantly.
 To be honest, I don’t know what eventually happened to his bread up till this moment.  I never had the courage to deliver it to his family as he instructed.  But his massage still rings out in my head every day and has kept tormenting my soul. I am quite certain that his few words would keep haunting me and eventually lead me to my grave.

Copyright 2025 Ahmed Dodo