JOHNATHAN: a bully who as a kid had no shoes, and is weak against the strong and strong against the weak

Twitter: the place of abode to all who the president blames for everything wrong with his administration

GEJ SYNDROME: a disease that affects the brain thereby causing cluelessness in every form known to man. Symptoms include Gluttony, self-pity, unambitiousness amongst others, no known cure yet

Comrade: A man who still wears a safari suit even when the temperature is over 100 degrees centigrade.

Deacon/Deaconess: A title you get when you are too contaminated to be a pastor and yet too valuable- for your tithe – to be an ordinary floor member.

Religious Merchant: a pastor, bishop or Imam who has mastered the art of psychology and the use of placebo effect on his followers.

EFCC: An agency that pulls down the pants of a disfavored crook until the crook drops something.

Boko Haram: Government agency whose idea of industrial action is bombing and killing of innocent citizens when the government doesn’t pay its wages

Bishop: Any man who is able to convince a group of people that he was at the manger when Jesus was born.

Immunity: Like a bullet proof vest given as a baptismal gift to armed robbers.

Detractors: name given to everyone opposed to any evil agenda of the GEJ administration, every other thing from bombings, rape and miscarriage is also blamed on them.

Treason: a grave offence for abusing the president or calling for regime change. Its also punishable by death or life imprisonment.

Intellectuals: People whose only job is to think for their country- even if the country is burning and their bucket is full of water

Facebook: A medium which has earned the Nigerian president a place in the prestigious Guinness Book of record as the “World’s Most Cursed President on Facebook”

Labaran Maku: A clueless Information minister who has mastered the art of keeping himself trending by pissing down his leg.

Police Orderly: A glorified Politician’s Personal Assistant and baby sitter who also picks up laundry from the drycleaners.

National Assembly: A place where people allergic to honor decide when its okay for the ordinary man to start earning $2 a day when they earn $2million per year.

Testimony: Public rehearsal of wannabe Nollywood actors, typically in front of a church’s congregation.

Palliatives: like devil promising to give Jesus what already belongs to him

Ayo Oritsejafor: Johnathan’s Senior Special Assistant on Spiritual matters.

Cassava republic: the new name given to Nigeria, has exceeded all the qualities of banana republic.

HIV/AIDS: that virus that we all possess but which comes in positive or negative form (definition Contributed by Dame Patience (aka Queen Gbags)

Devils Dictionary: the definitions from the mischievous imaginations of a Nigerian youth.

otooro:

am i supposed to laff to this crap!

mstchewww! try harder, i'm not impressed

mikuz:

@poster,
are you a pagan or Atheist, which one?

ekeroyal:

wow, hahahahahahahahahaha, laffn my manliness off, I'll die laffn.
Hey Ola, u're so so damn funny. Pls post more, dnt mind those clones who always post similar things.





Still laffn but now in arabic. Jeeeeeezzzz

otooro:



i prophesied ur birth!



u must be samson! no be delilah booqee finish u!

ekeroyal:

i'm really sick
Am too strong for that delilah of urs, she can't cut my joystick

ode remo:

cant stand long jokes that get u no where, dead end . jokes.
rigor mortis, thats what it is.
next.pls.

otooro:

^^^ how could u say such a thing!

otooro:

^^^ no be me ooo,

na the thread dem dey call nonsense!!!!

open ur eyes like these:

and stop browsing with nokia 3310!!!!!!!!