₦airaland Forum

I am married for 4 years now and dated her for over a years,

She nd her parent don’t let me live in peace … she Carrie’s her family along about everything happening at home , now we have a smart daugter..

I picked up a pen nd paper to calculate my bills every month nd yearly including school fees for our child , nd house rent

2026 bills will be 70k monthly nd 2,190,000 yearly

Breakdown


Child’s school fees 151k
House rent 900k
Utility , Water 3k monthly
Pure water 4k monthly 10 bags
Security 650 monthly
Cleaner for compound 1200 monthly
Child lesson fee 25k monthly
Phcn band A 35k monthly now December is going to 70k already

How much am I earning monthly? It’s not enoug to cover this bills but she kept using my daugter to cage me at home not to be able to go bd hussle .

Now here comes the wicked part her parent will not talk to her but support her in disturbing my mental health !


I cleared microwave , water heater to reduce this high cost of power supply … she forcing her way to keep using it nd yet she doesn’t contribute to the bills…


We had an account opened for our child nd it’s a two signatory account… I discovered she had been moving money in nd out personally without my knowledge even borrowing her friend from the money .

Abeg make una advice me

1) I want to have the account closed nd move all the money away

2) I want to work on my mental health ,

3) 2026 that’s on the way… O Ma LOUD

cupcup:
➜I am married for 4 years now and dated her for over a years,She nd her parent don’t let me live in peace … she Carrie’s her family along about everything happening at home , now we have a smart daugter.. I picked up a pen nd paper to calculate my bills every month nd yearly including school fees for our child , nd house rent
2026 bills will be 70k monthly nd 2,190,000 yearly
Breakdown
Child’s school fees 151k
House rent 900k
Utility , Water 3k monthly
Pure water 4k monthly 10 bags
Security 650 monthly
Cleaner for compound 1200 monthly
Child lesson fee 25k monthly
Phcn band A 35k monthly now December is going to 70k already
How much am I earning monthly? It’s not enoug to cover this bills but she kept using my daugter to cage me at home not to be able to go bd hussle. Now here comes the wicked part her parent will not talk to her but support her in disturbing my mental health ! I cleared microwave , water heater to reduce this high cost of power supply … s[b]he forcing her way to keep using it nd yet she doesn’t contribute to the bills…We had an account opened for our child nd it’s a two signatory account… I discovered she had been moving money in nd out personally without my knowledge even borrowing her friend from the money .[/b]
Abeg make una advice me
1) I want to have the account closed nd move all the money away
2) I want to work on my mental health ,
3) 2026 that’s on the way… O Ma LOUD

Why does your budget not specify how much your wife gets each month as her own pocket money in the marriage? What is your wife's reason for siphoning some of that other money into your personal account?

You say her parents support her, but you are married to the woman and not to them, so why do you expect them not to support your wife?

Definitely, your mental health is important, and you need to work on it. At the same time, you also need to work on making certain that your marriage is also abuse-free. Or are you planning on divorcing your wife this January 2026 so you can focus entirely on your mental health?

If it's not working, take a break. Give yourself space to rediscover yourself.

Well, I guess it’s time to put your foot down. You’re not a donkey so stop acting like one. If you are the breadwinner, then you should be the one who decides how the bread is shared. Take back control of your finances. Close that account and move the funds into a savings account with only your signature since it’s only your money going in. Stand up for yourself because nobody will have mercy on you.

Set boundaries: “this is what I can afford (.) this is what I can do (.) this is what I need, and if you can’t provide it then this is what I won’t allow (.).”

Be the head of your home. Your family must live in a house that you can afford, eat the food that you can afford, go to the schools that you can afford. If your wife wants more then she’ll have to be able to afford those things she wants.

If you continue going the way things are going then your marriage will break down and your daughter will suffer the consequences. Be the man of your house. No be by penis ooo but actions and decisions make a man. But what do I know! I’m just sipping sauce 🙇‍♀️

Double0h7:
Well, I guess it’s time to put your foot down. You’re not a donkey so stop acting like one. If you are the breadwinner, then you should be the one who decides how the bread is shared. Take back control of your finances. Close that account and move the funds into a savings account with only your signature since it’s only your money going in. Stand up for yourself because nobody will have mercy on you.

Set boundaries: “this is what I can afford (.) this is what I can do (.) this is what I need, and if you can’t provide it then this is what I won’t allow (.).”

Be the head of your home. Your family must live in a house that you can afford, eat the food that you can afford, go to the schools that you can afford. If your wife wants more then she’ll have to be able to afford those things she wants.

If you continue going the way things are going then your marriage will break down and your daughter will suffer the consequences. Be the man of your house. No be by penis ooo but actions and decisions make a man. But what do I know! I’m just sipping sauce 🙇‍♀️

Read this 200 times, then wipe the snot from your nose and be a man.

She caged you at home with your daughter, so that she goes to work? And the whole money you calculated, she doesn't contribute a dime?

Quick question: Did she spend any of her money (whether you ask her or not) to buy you stuff while you were dating?

You've been told what you need to do. Many SAH wives are like that. They know the value of hard earned money but do not appreciate it when it comes from the husband. They take themselves as entitled babies.

Put yourself first. It will cause quarrels but it's for the good of the family in general.

The hanks a lot, I come first before anyone… that’s part of my plan

laivwire:
You've been told what you need to do. Many SAH wives are like that. They know the value of hard earned money but do not appreciate it when it comes from the husband. They take themselves as entitled babies.

Put yourself first. It will cause quarrels but it's for the good of the family in general.

Contribution of 90k monthly. Nd to what benefit is it to the home ?? Zero! She wrote a list of how she spends her salary I screened, Tithe is even there But I mute

Stephen0mozzy:
Read this 200 times, then wipe the snot from your nose and be a man.

She caged you at home with your daughter, so that she goes to work? And the whole money you calculated, she doesn't contribute a dime?

Quick question: Did she spend any of her money (whether you ask her or not) to buy you stuff while you were dating?

I am in the habit of paying the school fee ahead, infact entire session fees, so it’s school owing my child classes.


Her family comes first before me

2026 I come first my daugter second

Double0h7:
Well, I guess it’s time to put your foot down. You’re not a donkey so stop acting like one. If you are the breadwinner, then you should be the one who decides how the bread is shared. Take back control of your finances. Close that account and move the funds into a savings account with only your signature since it’s only your money going in. Stand up for yourself because nobody will have mercy on you.

Set boundaries: “this is what I can afford (.) this is what I can do (.) this is what I need, and if you can’t provide it then this is what I won’t allow (.).”

Be the head of your home. Your family must live in a house that you can afford, eat the food that you can afford, go to the schools that you can afford. If your wife wants more then she’ll have to be able to afford those things she wants.

If you continue going the way things are going then your marriage will break down and your daughter will suffer the consequences. Be the man of your house. No be by penis ooo but actions and decisions make a man. But what do I know! I’m just sipping sauce 🙇‍♀️

I got to the bank now, just to request for a statement on the account, I was informed I am not a signatory to the account. Wow! Interesting

I told them to pull the full out, then they acknowledged nd let me have a statment

Did you not see the red flags before you married her? I don't like how people complain about their spouse after marriage like they were blind before the wedding and received eye miracle from Pastor Chris just after they have said I do.

My budget for a feminist? A feminist who doesn’t want to let me be the man? Yes she talks about it but when I get caged with daugter where is the chance to get more mone

Kobojunkie:
Why does your budget not specify how much your wife gets each month as her own pocket money in the marriage? What is your wife's reason for siphoning some of that other money into your personal account?

You say her parents support her, but you are married to the woman and not to them, so why do you expect them not to support your wife?

Definitely, your mental health is important, and you need to work on it. At the same time, you also need to work on making certain that your marriage is also abuse-free. Or are you planning on divorcing your wife this January 2026 so you can focus entirely on your mental health?

You are talking as if there is a manual to marriage ? ? Re u telling me you can understand women totally Didn’t you read the part that her parent aiding her ?

Imindmybusiness:
Did you not see the red flags before you married her? I don't like how people complain about their spouse after marriage like they were blind before the wedding and received eye miracle from Pastor Chris just after they have said I do.

cupcup:
✓ My budget for a feminist?
✓ A feminist who doesn’t want to let me be the man? ✓ Yes she talks about it but when I get caged with daugter where is the chance to get more mone

I don't understand what you mean by that. Are you suggesting that because she is a feminist, she deserves to be financially abused by you? Can you please elaborate ? 🥱🥱🥱

2. How does she not let you be the man in the relationship? Please explain. 🥱🥱

3. Exactly what do you mean when you say you are caged with a daughter?

Cage me with daugter, 👉🏼 because I work from home, mother duties to child she neglect … nd in the evening when head is choked with work nd baby duties .. she return from work … nd deny me of going out to clear head!!!

Secondly I take her to school nd bring her myself.. does that answer you? I am more closer bd involved in my child’s life ..

Financially abused by me ? All the time I dated her before marriage I never collect a penny from her I rather spend , I don’t take gift from her. Even as she’s working I do take from her, Even if I keep cash in a secured place for me to use when I am exhausted … by the time I get there .. she have slim fit it ??

Now. Words coming up gradually is it adding up

Kobojunkie:
I don't understand what you mean by that. Are you suggesting that because she is a feminist, she deserves to be financially abused by you? Can you please elaborate ? 🥱🥱🥱

2. How does she not let you be the man in the relationship? Please explain. 🥱🥱

3. Exactly what do you mean when you say you are caged with a daughter?

cupcup:
➜Cage me with daugter, 👉🏼 because I work from home, mother duties to child she neglect … nd in the evening when head is choked with work nd baby duties .. she return from work … nd deny me of going out to clear head!!! Secondly I take her to school nd bring her myself.. does that answer you? I am more closer bd involved in my child’s life ..
➜ Financially abused by me ? All the time I dated her before marriage I never collect a penny from her I rather spend , I don’t take gift from her. Even as she’s working I do take from her, Even if I keep cash in a secured place for me to use when I am exhausted … by the time I get there .. she have slim fit it ?? Now. Words coming up gradually is it adding up

1. Wow! You describe babysitting your own child for a few hours in the days while your wife goes out to work, as she caging you with your daughter? She is your child, so why can't you be more involved in her life? Is it only a mother who can be involved in a daughter's life? According to whom?

So, it is fine by you if your wife is instead the one whose head is choked with work and baby duties, but not fine for you to have your head choked with work and baby duties?

2. You are married to her, so no more gifts or giving to her? I ask again, because your financial budget does not include anything for the wife, and I am guessing she comes back home to do chores around the house while she has you watching your daughter, right? 🥱🥱🥱

Double0h7:
Well, I guess it’s time to put your foot down. You’re not a donkey so stop acting like one. If you are the breadwinner, then you should be the one who decides how the bread is shared. Take back control of your finances. Close that account and move the funds into a savings account with only your signature since it’s only your money going in. Stand up for yourself because nobody will have mercy on you.

Set boundaries: “this is what I can afford (.) this is what I can do (.) this is what I need, and if you can’t provide it then this is what I won’t allow (.).”

Be the head of your home. Your family must live in a house that you can afford, eat the food that you can afford, go to the schools that you can afford. If your wife wants more then she’ll have to be able to afford those things she wants.

If you continue going the way things are going then your marriage will break down and your daughter will suffer the consequences. Be the man of your house. No be by penis ooo but actions and decisions make a man. But what do I know! I’m just sipping sauce 🙇‍♀️

You are a true example of a real woman, Keep it up.

No more advice

Why dont you try something called Divorce before you reach heaven when it is not even your time.

Is like u married a liability and that why u are lamenting.

I hope those who intends to marry are watching this our brother...

Immediately u get married,the real work starts. Most times u won't see the beauty in ur wife anymore because na money be sweet marriage.

Cupcup

Abeg bro, calm down. You're letting resentment and anger and random strangers (who may be emotionally damaged) from God knows where stir up emotions that you don't need right now. And the conclusion will not be pretty and one day, you'll wonder how things escalated that fast.

You've gotten one good advise here (close the account, tell her to live according to the family finances and contribute more). Everything else you should ignore.

(Meanwhile, this is only one part of the story, we never hear her side).

Okay, so how do you implement taking charge of the family finances and getting your wife on the same page?

Step 1: Prayer listen, I know someone started screaming about his wife's finances, then descended to her bad character, she became a Narcissist, "everyone hates her, she's problematic,I deserve to be happy!". Sharply, the devil supplied him with situations and "evidence" to justify what he was doing to his pregnant wife. It's been 2 yrs, he's now living with an actual golddigger and he's blaming his wife because he can't admit how much he screwed up.

Go and pray.

I assure you, the devil uses the same handbook (he's not creative) and he's ready to deploy it on your matter, he hates the Covenant of Marriage.

If you think I'm lying, why the actual heck would children of perdition already be mentioning "DIVORCE" and fear-mongering about Women, in this matter? In your emotionally-charges state, they brought kerosene to pour on your 🔥

Communication Bros, have you sat down to tell her what you're telling us or have you been fuming and fighting?

After prayer, you need to speak to her CALMLY. You need the right words and the right moment to say those words.

New Year is a great opportunity to sit down and lovingly and firmly (notice I led with LOVE) set family goals

"Babe, this is what we're going to do and how we will achieve it. Babe, I need you to contribute more. Babe, we have our own family, let's not being your family into it..."

Understanding Bros, most people who work from home don't look busy. I work from home, I'm speaking from experience. It's why a lot of companies cancelled Remote Work after Covid passed (people were abusing it). Let her see your work, be open to her, let her see you're doing actual work not Twitter-fighting feminists and football supporters. Because she subconsciously thinks you're not busy.

Read Your Bible you got married under the Christian Convenance (I'm assuming). Which means, you should follow its' laws.

If you put yourself first and your daughter next, get ready to have a side chic who will distract you from that daughter. And get ready for Uncle Femi to buy your kid ice-cream.

I'm not kidding: marriage should be built on loving your spouse first and kids next. If you want to keep your kids safe, love your spouse. 2 happy adults will create a safe home for children, 2 unhappy adults will create an unsafe home for kids and 4 adults (add Stepparents) selfishly putting themselves first will destroy that child.

This is the time to radically love your wife, we gonna practice some Ephesians 5: 25, bros!

Seriously, I don't want you to end up as another unhappy marriage statistic, a lot of Nigerian marriages are crumbling for reasons that could have been worked out.

Your responds re off the topic, Do you think of retirement Time? This is the age I can go out to hussle nd make money nd build more for future, I some times work with the Sitting Deputy govnor on the side.. just imagine he restricting me from not going out to hussle.. nd you re here playing emotions with Shey I na my child… OGA… you seem to be a woman.. ur responds re women kinda responds

Kobojunkie:
1. Wow! You describe babysitting your own child for a few hours in the days while your wife goes out to work, as she caging you with your daughter? She is your child, so why can't you be more involved in her life? Is it only a mother who can be involved in a daughter's life? According to whom?

So, it is fine by you if your wife is instead the one whose head is choked with work and baby duties, but not fine for you to have your head choked with work and baby duties?

2. You are married to her, so no more gifts or giving to her? I ask again, because your financial budget does not include anything for the wife, and I am guessing she comes back home to do chores around the house while she has you watching your daughter, right? 🥱🥱🥱

I like everything you wrote, nd I have tried every thing… Except I do not agree with pray or Bible or Quran sections…. We are humans before those came to the pictures, now back to the sitting down nd talking… we have talked it nd agreed on something… but once her family comes to the picture.. Everything changes again.

I am not religious… nd in today’s world in Nigeria. I will say social media nd society have made us think we need prayer in all this thing… NAH NAH .

Many people pray but still do not get things done.. Are you telling me there are no people who do not pray nd things are going well with them… I see those sections as a blackmail Sorry if my comments about that hits differently …

Onegai:
Cupcup

Abeg bro, calm down. You're letting resentment and anger and random strangers (who may be emotionally damaged) from God knows where stir up emotions that you don't need right now. And the conclusion will not be pretty and one day, you'll wonder how things escalated that fast.

You've gotten one good advise here (close the account, tell her to live according to the family finances and contribute more). Everything else you should ignore.

(Meanwhile, this is only one part of the story, we never hear her side).

Okay, so how do you implement taking charge of the family finances and getting your wife on the same page?

Step 1: Prayer listen, I know someone started screaming about his wife's finances, then descended to her bad character, she became a Narcissist, "everyone hates her, she's problematic,I deserve to be happy!". Sharply, the devil supplied him with situations and "evidence" to justify what he was doing to his pregnant wife. It's been 2 yrs, he's now living with an actual golddigger and he's blaming his wife because he can't admit how much he screwed up.

Go and pray.

I assure you, the devil uses the same handbook (he's not creative) and he's ready to deploy it on your matter, he hates the Covenant of Marriage.

If you think I'm lying, why the actual heck would children of perdition already be mentioning "DIVORCE" and fear-mongering about Women, in this matter? In your emotionally-charges state, they brought kerosene to pour on your 🔥

Communication Bros, have you sat down to tell her what you're telling us or have you been fuming and fighting?

After prayer, you need to speak to her CALMLY. You need the right words and the right moment to say those words.

New Year is a great opportunity to sit down and lovingly and firmly (notice I led with LOVE) set family goals

"Babe, this is what we're going to do and how we will achieve it. Babe, I need you to contribute more. Babe, we have our own family, let's not being your family into it..."

Understanding Bros, most people who work from home don't look busy. I work from home, I'm speaking from experience. It's why a lot of companies cancelled Remote Work after Covid passed (people were abusing it). Let her see your work, be open to her, let her see you're doing actual work not Twitter-fighting feminists and football supporters. Because she subconsciously thinks you're not busy.

Read Your Bible you got married under the Christian Convenance (I'm assuming). Which means, you should follow its' laws.

If you put yourself first and your daughter next, get ready to have a side chic who will distract you from that daughter. And get ready for Uncle Femi to buy your kid ice-cream.

I'm not kidding: marriage should be built on loving your spouse first and kids next. If you want to keep your kids safe, love your spouse. 2 happy adults will create a safe home for children, 2 unhappy adults will create an unsafe home for kids and 4 adults (add Stepparents) selfishly putting themselves first will destroy that child.

This is the time to radically love your wife, we gonna practice some Ephesians 5: 25, bros!

Seriously, I don't want you to end up as another unhappy marriage statistic, a lot of Nigerian marriages are crumbling for reasons that could have been worked out.

Div is not part of the option, I needed advice on hw to go about I… why all this divorce comments ?? We are Africans nd we always have our way… Div is for westerners jare….

Kaczynski:
Why dont you try something called Divorce before you reach heaven when it is not even your time.

In all this bills, I didn’t mention car maintenance ooo, It’s taking away my social life small small… I have not added fuel I buy in my car monthly, I use to take her to work nd bring her back every day before I stop that…. I live on Cmd rd magodo , while she work at vi before …. Nd I stopped after she stopped…


Now she work close to the house…. Her transport monthly to nd fro work is just 7500, nd her salary is far better than the previous two work… with all the bills on ground… Someone is talking about adding her to my budget….

cupcup:
I am married for 4 years now and dated her for over a years,

She nd her parent don’t let me live in peace … she Carrie’s her family along about everything happening at home , now we have a smart daugter..

I picked up a pen nd paper to calculate my bills every month nd yearly including school fees for our child , nd house rent

2026 bills will be 70k monthly nd 2,190,000 yearly

Breakdown


Child’s school fees 151k
House rent 900k
Utility , Water 3k monthly
Pure water 4k monthly 10 bags
Security 650 monthly
Cleaner for compound 1200 monthly
Child lesson fee 25k monthly
Phcn band A 35k monthly now December is going to 70k already

How much am I earning monthly? It’s not enoug to cover this bills but she kept using my daugter to cage me at home not to be able to go bd hussle .

Now here comes the wicked part her parent will not talk to her but support her in disturbing my mental health !


I cleared microwave , water heater to reduce this high cost of power supply … she forcing her way to keep using it nd yet she doesn’t contribute to the bills…


We had an account opened for our child nd it’s a two signatory account… I discovered she had been moving money in nd out personally without my knowledge even borrowing her friend from the money .

Abeg make una advice me

1) I want to have the account closed nd move all the money away

2) I want to work on my mental health ,

3) 2026 that’s on the way… O Ma LOUD

Wow, I just checked your profile nd ur post…. I thought as much…

Well one question for you… Will you allow your brother…. To be filling a basket with water When h know it’s impossible?? What advice will you give a male gender from your branch?

Kobojunkie:
1. Wow! You describe babysitting your own child for a few hours in the days while your wife goes out to work, as she caging you with your daughter? She is your child, so why can't you be more involved in her life? Is it only a mother who can be involved in a daughter's life? According to whom?

So, it is fine by you if your wife is instead the one whose head is choked with work and baby duties, but not fine for you to have your head choked with work and baby duties?

2. You are married to her, so no more gifts or giving to her? I ask again, because your financial budget does not include anything for the wife, and I am guessing she comes back home to do chores around the house while she has you watching your daughter, right? 🥱🥱🥱

cupcup:
Wow, I just checked your profile nd ur post…. I thought as much…
Well one question for you… Will you allow your brother…. To be filling a basket with water When h know it’s impossible?? What advice will you give a male gender from your branch?

Neither I nor my brothers or sons reason marriage the way you do. If you see your marriage as filling a basket with water, then I am with the other guy in calling for you to begin considering divorce. 🥱🥱🥱

In a partnership marriage, both partners are meant to partake in the dividends of the marriage... You are right to budget for everything that needs to be, but you forgot your wife and are here complaining that she is getting her share from other avenues. She is a partner, is she not? From your every explanation, she seems to be doing her part in the marriage while at the same time trying to get her share of the marital communal funds that belong to her. Why are you stuck on the idea that she deserves nothing? Does she not do her part in the marriage just like you? 🥱🥱

cupcup:
I like everything you wrote, nd I have tried every thing… Except I do not agree with pray or Bible or Quran sections…. We are humans before those came to the pictures, now back to the sitting down nd talking… we have talked it nd agreed on something… but once her family comes to the picture.. Everything changes again.

I am not religious… nd in today’s world in Nigeria. I will say social media nd society have made us think we need prayer in all this thing… NAH NAH .

Many people pray but still do not get things done.. Are you telling me there are no people who do not pray nd things are going well with them… I see those sections as a blackmail Sorry if my comments about that hits differently …

My bro, let me tell a little something about me

Up until last year, you would never have seen me write "pray and read your Bible" anywhere.

In my (several 🧑‍🦳😭) decades on this earth, I had accepted that there was a God but He didn't really like me, He had his favourites. I had accepted that religion was an opium to sate the masses. When I was young, not only did I read the Bible as a historical novel (I studied The Old Testament Upto books like Maccabees), I read Greek classics (Homer, The Iliad, Odessey), attempted to read Russian classics (Anna Karenina, Love and War), studied European history and classics extensively, as well as East Asian history.

(My family's weird like that, my brother even read The Torah and the Quran for fun).

And now I tell people "there is a God and there is a devil, go read a Bible".

Why?

Because I simply cannot explain why the philosophy of the Bible makes so much sense and never contradicts Life's best decisions. Seriously. And I've seen things in my life and others (I'm on STEM, so I've noticed logic and mathetical patterns in the choices and decisions people make) to know the Bible is alive.

You see, Christianity is the main religion built on Love.

Especially compared to ancient religions like Mayan, Confucius, Egyptian mythology, German Mythology, Greek mythology etc.

Our Lord is the only Being who constantly goes "humanity is flawed. Yet My Love for them is unchanging. And I will do anything to keep loving them".

Those are powerful Words. And that is what we need most in this Life: to love.

So you'll see me watch Jerry Eze in the morning and watch Tim Keller in the evening.
(Everyone should watch Tim Keller).

I'm telling you to read your Bible and pray, so you have the wisdom to figure out what to do in the best possible manner. Because in this matter, you need WISDOM and CALM or you'll sow seeds of destruction that will make no sense in 5 years' time.

Because if I wanted to manipulate you, I'm intelligent enough to know what else to have added to my words😉

And I suspected you had spoken to her already, but she's being told not to trust you (there are so many horror stories of men sabotaging their wives and women hurting their husbands, nobody trusts anyone any longer).

So you must try Love. That's the only card left to play, that's your King of Hearts and Ace (if you played Black Jack, you'd understand that reference 🙂).

And what best example of love to emulate, than what God has shown us?

Scisne?

I like Christy Bature because she tells women not to make idols of their marriages.

I like Dolapo Lawal because he tells men how to love properly and take on the mantle of responsibility in Life. He freely admits he comes from a broken home and a Muslim family and those shaped his views.

I truly marvel at Jerry Eze because I'm not sure he realizes the magnitude of prophetic power that sometimes flows through him.

Tim Keller was a philosopher, who truly wants you to understand how God's Heart works. He never once preached prosperity gospel.

I gently leave the rest alone.

Those are my picks

Cupcup, I noticed you mentioned working alongside a Deputy State Governor (somewhat boastfully), so let me also somewhat boast too and drop some advice:

I've gone on a date with a Retired Minister. I may spend Christmas with an immediate relative of the President. A Governor used to have to greet my mother with respect because she babysat him as a child (her family has money). Another President used to have lunch with my FiL. Forget Senators and Political Party leaders even.

And I can tell you this: dine with a long fork, with those guys.

Their bumbums are very gingerly perched on that seat, which is why they're always looking out for themselves. They know the money train won't last, they know once they leave office their phones will stop ringing and everyone will move on.

So they can owe you or screw you over without a backwards thought, as they're always looking out for themselves (nobody dey hustle pass dem).

My advice is simple: whatevee work you do for the Deputy Governor, find men and women who own their businesses and companies in the private sector and do it for them too. Because they're more stable, so that income will be more stable than depending on a man who is reliant on politics making him wealthy.

My 2 Kobo.

Kobojunkie:
Neither I nor my brothers or sons reason marriage the way you do. If you see your marriage as filling a basket with water, then I am with the other guy in calling for you to begin considering divorce. 🥱🥱🥱

In a partnership marriage, both partners are meant to partake in the dividends of the marriage... You are right to budget for everything that needs to be, but you forgot your wife and are here complaining that she is getting her share from other avenues. She is a partner, is she not? From your every explanation, she seems to be doing her part in the marriage while at the same time trying to get her share of the marital communal funds that belong to her. Why are you stuck on the idea that she deserves nothing? Does she not do her part in the marriage just like you? 🥱🥱

What's the part of the marriage she's doing from his explanation except making him to come here to complain bitterly. Share of marital communal funds that he's mostly contributing to despite forcing him to work from home?

Petrzoom:
What's the part of the marriage she's doing from his explanation except making him to come here to complain bitterly. Share of marital communal funds that he said she's not contributing a dime to despite forcing him to work from home?

Did everyone miss the fact that he admitted she drops N90k and it is not enough?

Here:

cupcup:
Contribution of 90k monthly. Nd to what benefit is it to the home ?? Zero! She wrote a list of how she spends her salary I screened, Tithe is even there But I mute

So she's at least contributing something but right now he's too resentful and emotional to value it and if we encourage him, he will soon begin to see signs of "Narcissism, Bipolar, Toxic Abuse, Liability" etc in her. He's even mad she's tithing. She's even sharing how she spends her salary yet he's still angry.

He's so blinded by anger, resentment and more that he can't see it and he cannot communicate properly. Which is why I urged prayer and bible study: break the negative emotions and be calm. She's done some things wrong (taking money from the child's account and nor trusting him), but he's on the warpath and this is not the best thing for both of them.

I'm not trying to defend her, just that I've seen this story before and seen how it plays out. In 5 years' time, after the dust has settled, all he'll be able to say is "we had our differences, we were incompatible". He won't be able to be truthful and admit that it was his fault and her fault their marriage fell apart, goaded on by peer and societal pressure.

I keep shouting that the devil doesn't like the Covenant of Marriage, y'all keep underestimating him. Go and read Reddit, Douyin and social media apps from other countries, you'll see the same pattern constantly being repeated to the point that you'll be dumbfounded. Tunde, Li Chen and Bradley are all divorcing the same woman. Adanma, Ekaterina and Consuelo are all fighting the same man.

Don't that make you go 🤔

You think this world is merely physical?

You think there's a benevolent good somewhere but no malevolent evil to balance it out?

Onegai:
Did everyone miss the fact that he admitted she drops N90k and it is not enough?

Here:


So she's at least contributing something but right now he's too resentful and emotional to value it and if we encourage him, he will soon begin to see signs of "Narcissism, Bipolar, Toxic Abuse, Liability" etc in her. He's even mad she's tithing.

I'm not trying to defend her, just that I've seen this story before and seen how it plays out. In 5 years' time, after the dust has settled, all he'll be able to say is "we had our differences, we were incompatible". He won't be able to be truthful and admit that it was his fault and her fault their marriage fell apart, goaded on by random strangers on the internet.

I didn't see it initially so I'll retract that part thank you. What I'm against is giving the man hell when he's trying his best in today's economy. Things are not rosy at the moment so coming to still undermine the effort or frustrate is not good, a marriage will not work without both parties. There are also women who give their best to make the marriage work but the men are not responsible or lack self control with other women. If you can't sacrifice for your child then I don't know how it will keep on moving.