Okay! It is very acceptable if you mock me or call me all sort of names but this is my story:

I just received a letter through a popular transporting company from my village. In the content of the letter, the elders are trying to disown me and banish me if I don't return with a woman I want to marry in the next 2months.

They have even threatened to marry me to a village vigilante's daughter if the 2months elapse and I am yet to bring a wife.

But God forbid, I will rather remain a 'baby papa' than settle for one local girl who will eventually kill me with her troubles after she gets expose.

Are you a good cook?

Can you pound yam? (With pestle and morter NOT poundo yam).

Can you cook Edikianko, banga, afang, efo riro, Egusi and stew very well?

Are you intelligent and frugal in spending? If you like earn pass me, that is your cup of tea but be rest assure I won't ask you for a dime.

If you qualify, please send your 'Application' before 5 days from now.

Note : Only short listed candidate will be contacted.

Help me now before I am forced to marry a village girl.

I dont believe u acid! It's all for show rite?

Gat u! Call again later! User busy.....

you have a very funny story Mr poster.

where is the source?

Idowuogbo: I dont believe u acid! It's all for show rite?

Gat u! Call again later! User busy.....

Joke keh?
Isn't until when you hear in 3months time that "Village girl shoots husband with her father's hunting gun" before you will believe me?

This na serious issue oh!

I know say una no like me for nairaland, so it will even make your guys happier if dem force me to maRry village girl.

Fourcade: where is the source?

The source is an A4 paper filled with grammatical blunders from some old men. It is inside a brown envelope sitting calmly in my bed side drawer.

Make I scan am post for here?

Nooooh!!! I won't do that. I don't want you all to start laughing at those old men who spelt;

Marry as mari
Girl as geh
Marriage as marange
You must as you moshst

Enough of the hints joh!

Find me wife is what I asked for, not some investigative session.

Attention seeking thread.
Is this supposed to be difficult? Tell them you will marry when you want to, they can't banish you because this is a democracy and if they marry the girl, they will be responsible for servicing her

Mynd_44: Attention seeking thread.
Is this supposed to be difficult? Tell them you will marry when you want to, they can't banish you because this is a democracy and if they marry the girl, they will be responsible for servicing her

Well, my village old men no know wetin democracy dey about.

So trying to claim constitution right is irrelevant.

And if you dont believe me its alright.

They can't do crap to you and you know it so stop your darned fretting jorh.
BTW, I still don't believe you

Mynd_44: They can't do crap to you and you know it so stop your darned fretting jorh.
BTW, I still don't believe you

i though you of all people would believe me on nairaland.

i doubt want to try those old men oh!
the last dude that bullsh^^itted them on this same issue, they turned him into a goat.
Those men are very daring oh!

Now I have more reason to think that you are just noted and need company. Don't worry, the football season will soon start

Mynd_44: Now I have more reason to think that you are just noted and need company. Don't worry, the football season will soon start

seriously i just said that last one to add a little humor.
before you go please help me deliver a message to sexkillz.
TELL HIM HE IS A FREAKING BASTARD FOR BRINGING MY THREAD HERE
AND IF HE DARES HIDE MY POST, AMADIOHA WILL STAMP HIS LIFE WITH COW SH^IT[b]

Mynd_44: Now I have more reason to think that you are just noted and need company. Don't worry, the football season will soon start

seriously i just said that last one to add a little humor.
before you go please help me deliver a message to sexkillz.
TELL HIM HE IS A FREAKING BASTARD FOR BRINGING MY THREAD HERE
AND IF HE DARES HIDE MY POST, AMADIOHA WILL STAMP HIS LIFE WITH COW SH^IT[/b]

Mynd_44: Now I have more reason to think that you are just noted and need company. Don't worry, the football season will soon start

seriously i just said that last one to add a little humor.
before you go please help me deliver a message to sexkillz.
TELL HIM HE IS A FREAKING BASTARD FOR BRINGING MY THREAD HERE
AND IF HE DARES HIDE MY POST, AMADIOHA WILL STAMP HIS LIFE WITH COW SH^IT

And now, you have turned a perfectly good and peaceful thread into show of shame. Don't you people ever get tired of this?

Mynd_44: And now, you have turned a perfectly good and peaceful thread into show of shame. Don't you people ever get tired of this?

So sorry
but seriously that boy could be really annoying.

But when you lose your cool like that, you are only showing him that he is getting to you.

SECONDED

Idowuogbo: I dont believe u acid! It's all for show rite?

Gat u! Call again later! User busy.....

seun_adeolu: SECONDED

Are you insinuating I am a liar?
That's very unfair.

One more month to go

[/b][b]

ijebabe: One more month to go

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

Guy go dance windeck for 3rd main bridge

pyyxxaro: Guy go dance windeck for 3rd main bridge

If na your papa go dey drum for me no wahala