I curated these funny stories from funny Tumblr stories. Get ready for a hurricane of LOL as you read all these funny short stories.

1. Now that’s what I call stupid: In my junior year of high school, this guy asked me on a date. He rented a Redbox movie and made a pizza. We were watching the movie and the oven beeped so the pizza was done. He looked me dead in the eye and said, “This is the worst part.” I then watched this boy open the oven and pull the pizza out with his bare hands, rack and all, screaming at the top of his lungs. We never had a second date.

2. The fake report card: I failed the first quarter of a class in middle school, so I made a fake report card. I did this every quarter that year. I forgot that they mail home the end-of-year cards, and my mom got it before I could intercept with my fake. She was PISSED—at the school for their error. The teacher also retired that year and had already thrown out his records, so they had to take my mother’s “proof” (the fake ones I made throughout the year) and “correct” the “mistake.” I’ve never told her the truth.

3. All the fish: I went to this girl’s party the week after she beat the shit out of my friend. While everyone was getting trashed, I went around putting tuna inside all the curtain rods and so like weeks went by and they couldn’t figure out why the house smelled like festering death. They caught me through this video where these guys at the party were singing Beyoncé while I was in the background with a can of tuna.
[url]courtesy [/url]https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/06/funny-stories/
4. How to win at video games: When I was little, I would go on Nickelodeon.com all the time and they had this game similar to Club Penguin, except it was called Nicktropolis. And if you forgot your password, a security question you could choose was “What is your eye color?” and if you got it right it’d tell you your password. So I would go to popular locations in Nicktropolis and write down random usernames who were also in those areas, and then I would log out and type in the username as if it were my own and see which of these usernames had a security question set to “What is your eye color?” (Which was most of them, since it was easy and we were all kids). I would then try either brown, blue, or green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own accounts. And if I didn’t want it, I could sell it for money. full story

GET A PROFESESIONAL WRITER AND EDITOR HERE https://www.fiverr.com/share/Q0Y8Dw

Finding people to employ in your business is one of the most important aspects of a successful business, fine you have a good business plan, strong finance, a great location, and so on but mind you have or employing bad or incompetent workers/staff will mean the beginning of the business failure, so as a smart entrepreneur and business owners the people listed below are those you should never employ into your business no matter the condition maybe or whatsoever the case.





4 people you should never employ in your business.

1. Never employ a liar.


This type of person is obvious and easily detected because a person who lies can’t be a trustworthy staff member.



The most common way these types of people lie is through their past working experience at their place of work, salaries, skills, etc.

One way to put them to the test is to ask them for proof of their past work or working experience. When the answer is given, kindly check this list of words they use as pronouns and nouns. That shows they are lying.



2. Never employ the latecomer.When searching for staff or workers to employ, you are looking for a staff that will treat their customers with respect and dedication.

The truth is that the interview is where you should always be on time because you will be able to figure out the punctuality and dedication of the worker.

A person who is always late is considered an irresponsible person. Although there may be some conditions that will contribute to the tardiness of the worker, a responsible and diligent worker should find a way around all this.



3. Never employ a bad habit

Definitely, as a business owner, you want to employ people who will treat every customer right with respect and dedication irrespective of age, genre, or status.

And you don’t want someone that will spoil your business reputation with their dirty and bad behavior or personality.



4. Never employ a complainer.

Many successful business owners and companies always give out this humble advice, which is “never employ unhappy people.” Why? Because these people are negative and always blame people and anything possible for their actions, these people can’t get to mingle with their fellow workers because there will always be something to complain about. This type of person will decrease your business efficiency of labor and total output, which will result in low income for your business.
[https://buzzvend..com/2022/08/people-you-should-never-employ-in-your-business.html]GET THE FULL CONTENT HERE[/https://buzzvend..com/2022/08/people-you-should-never-employ-in-your-business.html]

When I was a senior in undergrad, I'd been living at home mostly during the time I was enrolled to save money, but I had begun to quarrel regularly with my father and demand more independence for myself. The cheapest possible way to accomplish what I wanted was to live on campus. I found that I'd been spending more on tuition and books than I was comfortable borrowing, but felt taking on a little bit more wasn't too terrible for what it provided me.

Naturally, I picked the least expensive and oldest dorm on campus, a place I didn't realize was populated mostly by eighteen-year-old Freshmen until I moved there.

It was, in hindsight, perhaps too much of a good thing. I began to understand the popular kids in high school who'd had cults of personalities built around them. I was twenty-three then and they were four or five full years younger. As a result, I drew a lot of attention to myself from younger women. One of them had several male suiters comprised of a variety of older men, of whom I was only one. She wasn't especially attractive, but she put out, so that explained why she never lacked for male company.

She and I made out only once, in my dorm room. I remember that she was only comfortable taking her top off. Grateful for whatever I could get, we made out for a while, I felt up her tiny tits, and then we parted ways forever. Whenever she saw me again in the halls or by the mailboxes, she put on a look of extreme discomfort and from that point onward I ignored her, pretending like she didn't exist.

But, oddly enough, where I really got a lot of attention was from the black girls. I'd been raised in the almost all-white suburbs, so African Americans were a novelty to me. What was also a novelty to me is that they would be interested in me romantically and sexually.

Part of it is that I was a good guitar player and possessed a strong voice. They would crowd around me in the lounge downstairs and sing along with me. I could have probably had my way with any number of them, but I was pickier than some men. I really wanted this slightly geeky smart girl named LaTonya who wore glasses.

I go for smart women and always have. After making introductions, and getting to know each other a little, we began a flirtation that always went a little bit further each time. Often she was accompanied by a friend who was also interested in me, but there was just something about the friend that didn't appeal to me, so I maintained her as a friend, while continuing to make my overtures elsewhere.

Eventually, the inevitable happened. We were seated in a common area downstairs, our chairs directly across from each other. I remember she was wearing red satin pajamas that accentuated her black skin. Feeling bold, I impulsively placed my hand against the top of her pubic hair, which had a much coarser dexterity to it than white hair. I wasn't anticipating the way it felt. It fascinated me, frankly, and it didn't stop me from keeping it up.

Playfully, she'd slap my hand away each time. This happened on at least four separate instances in a row. Following that, I was certain we'd end up in bed together, finally.

But at the last minute she began to have second thoughts. First, she answered a question that had apparently been circulating around the female population of the dorm: namely, what sort of woman was I interested in? Answer: a smart one.

"I'm not sure I can do this," she said. "If we keep this going we're going to end up doing something freaky in my room."

"What's wrong with that?" I replied.

"I'm just not sure. I've never been with a white boy before."

And I confessed, "I've never been with a black girl before, too."

She took a deep breath and then assented. "Okay, but we've got to make sure that my roommate is not going to walk in on us. And why aren't you more interested in my friend. She really wants you."

I spoke the truth. "She comes on a little too strong for me. You're the one I want."

I didn't know it, but our interactions had attracted some attention from other residents. Before accumulating more, she quickly made her way up four flights of stairs with me following madly behind. We then entered her dorm room, closed the door resolutely behind us, and began stripping clothing.

To some, she might have come across as a little plain, but she had a nice figure. Very slender, small-breasted, but not as small as the woman I'd been with before. I'd never seen black pubic hair up close and personal before, and the texture of it, as I said above, was an curiosity.

I dove between her legs and began to lick her out with great enthusiasm. After I'd stripped off the red silk pajama bottoms I found she was wearing black cotton bikini panties. I pushed them aside with one hand as I went to work. She half-screamed, half-moaned as I performed for her, smothering her face with a pillow to contain herself and perhaps keep the volume down a little. With eyes closed, she lay on her back on white sheets with a white pillowcase.

Before long, she began making grunting sounds, moving the pillow across her face, back and forth.

And then she let forth what she really wanted from me and had wanted for quite some time, as I learned later.

"Bleep me!" she screamed.

"Bleep me!"

"Oh, Bleep me!"

And as she took sharp inhales of breath, she demanded, "Get the Bleep in me now!" In so doing, she used her right hand to quickly slide off her panties, leaving her totally naked on the bed.

I was glad to oblige. We kissed with great force as I pushed into her. My hairy chest rested heavily against her smooth chest, and her legs wrapped around my hips. We kept up the frantic kissing.

"Oh shit," I said to no one in particular, processing what she had just said. It was so hot I could have shot my load simply by hearing it. To be desired that heavily and, apparently, for so long was amazingly arousing.

For a woman who seemed to be the very portrait of self-restraint most of the time, she certainly wasn't acting like it. I stuck my tongue in her mouth and she sucked on it gently, before resuming her moans and groans. I took my right arm and involuntarily wrapped it around her left leg, pushing it upwards into the air.

"Oh, I'm cumming," she said. She would cum quite a bit during this Bleep session, and this was just the first time.

A few minutes later, she repeated herself. "I'm cumming. I'm cumming hard. All over your cock."

We resumed kissing. Her arms wrapped around my back. Her now sweaty neck was cradled under my chin. We continued fucking in the missionary position. My hands slid off her back onto the sides of the pillow upon which her head was resting.

She kept having orgasm after orgasm. "Oh, you feel so good."

I agreed with her. "Oh yes. Oh shit."

Now her hands were cradling the back of my head.

"Oh, my God. Right there." I tried to comply, to remember to keep doing whatever it was that was causing her so much pleasure in that one spot. Her eyes had remained closed the whole time and her mouth was wide open, panting.

I shifted position slightly, pulling both her legs back across my hips.

"Does that feel okay, baby?" I asked, seeking confirmation.

Her eyed still closed, she nodded up and down to indicate that it did.

"I'm going really hard this time!" She screamed this, but tried once more to stifle it midway through.

We'd been at it around fifteen minutes, our bodies had grown sweaty, and I was beginning to feel my strength get depleted a little bit. Noticing we were both thrusting away at the same relative rhythm, I could tell that she felt the same way I did.

But then I picked up a second wind and started up again.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah," she repeated. Her eyes opened suddenly, enough for me to see that they had rolled back in her head.

She repeated herself once again. "This feels so fucking good!" Sex talk is not known for its creativity. It's mainly the repetition of a few crucial sounds of inherent pleasure. She gritted her teeth briefly and then opened her eyes again for a second or two. By now, her legs were splayed open completely, entirely open for my cock, making it very easy for me to take her.

We were both beginning to get tired again. We slowed the pace down. I paused briefly, for a couple seconds, before starting back up.

We resumed kissing. "Not too much," she noted, but I wasn't quite sure what she meant. Interpreting it to mean that I needed to slow down a bit more, I complied.

"I'm getting so close," I confided in her. Then I kissed her deeply again.

She smiled. "You've been rubbing my clit, too."

She rubbed her hands up and down my back appreciatively.

"Don't be sorry you got me so wet," she said gratefully.

"Trust me," I said, a little cockily, "the pleasure was all mine."

I made a decision to finally shoot, so I pulled out and let four or five jets of semen pulse halfway up onto her stomach. We continued to dry hump at about quarter speed for a couple minutes after that before stopping altogether. We were spent. And for ten minutes we held each other in complete silence before she stood up from the bed. She had one tiny problem. Communal showers.

The dorm was old and had been built before each room was equipped with one. She knew she'd have to sneak around into public quarters, but, pulling on her silk pajamas again, peered down the hallway and noticed that no one was out and about. I put my clothes back on again and headed down to my own room and my own communal showers, two flights down.

To this day, I've never been with another black woman. Cultural differences always got in the way when I'd express interest in an African American lady when it came to romantic relationships. But for plain, raw, sex, I imagine it doesn't really matter who you Bleep. God, the creator, or whomever put human beings on Earth made it one of the most pleasurable experiences a person can feel. I think it's we human who screw it up, not our biological drives and desires. Or, at least that's my opinion.


Join our erotic stories group below

�

https:///K18PX5NB2TeGpnyerquO3f

Looking to improve your singing skills?

Eleanor is a qualified singing teacher with years of experience performing in London theatres & across the UK offering lessons from absolute beginners to advanced across pop/rock and musical theatre. She also offers bespoke songwriting classes.

Having trained at the prestigious Royal Conservatoire of Scotland in musical theatre she is a professional actress and musician. She is also an award nominated writer of a new musical which premiered last year.

Singing lessons available through Skype & Zoom.

Suitable for all ages.

Eleanor is fully DBS checked with a child-safeguarding certificate

"There is a huge wealth of knowledge and joy to be gained from music, not to mention the health and confidence benefits. If you've never sung a note before, don't worry! We can build your confidence and skills in a way that suits you. Or maybe you have been singing for a while but are looking to strengthen technique? With an expanse of knowledge across Musical theatre, pop & classical styles I can help guide u to the next level in your skills." Contact him [https:///34nugfx ]here[/URL]

you got a point bro but you should know that you can't dress for some girl no matter the love you share

Facebook is a social media website where people like to hang out. They share photos and videos, link to sites they like and chat among'st friends. They also have the ability to interact with companies and brands they like, or find new firms they want to buy from. Tap into this market with the advice below.
Social Media Marketing Through Facebook - Strategies That Work!


Create a unique Facebook page that is capable of standing apart from the rest. The key to marketing on Facebook is to not look just like the other guys. Almost everyone uses Facebook these days, so you must be different if you want to be noticed before one of your competitors is.



Consider surfing Facebook as your company instead of yourself. When you're on your page, you have the opportunity to check out Facebook as the page itself. Do this and like pages which you think have a similar fan base, and then comment on those pages as well to get your name out to an expanded audience.



Do not wait too long in between posts, or you can risk your audience being swayed by another business owner. People these days have a need for loads of information. if they get that then they have to wait to receive anymore, they will become bored and impatient. Try post at least once every day or two.



Your Facebook page should be a clearinghouse that makes it easy for followers and visitors to find your other online presences. For example, link a summary of your blog onto Facebook if you have one. You can even program a connection between your Facebook and Twitter accounts so that each time you tweet, it automatically appears on Facebook.



Know what your goals are. Why do you want to use Facebook marketing? What do you hope to accomplish with it. Before you get started, it is very important that you take the time to clearly define your goals. Decide on an effective strategy. Try to get it right the first time.



Do not hesitate to share links to other sites on Facebook. If you come across an article or a video your audience will be interested in, think about sharing it on Facebook. It is best to avoid sharing links to website you are in competition against or you could lose customers.



Avoid posting updates too frequently. If you notice that your subscribers are not interested in your updates, try reducing the frequency of your updates. Save the content you want to share so you can post more valuable updates later. Posting one daily update is your best option if your subscribers check Facebook regularly.
full page here
https:///yb43lbct

HURRY there is a new advertisements site which is completely free right it is new fast and friendly,,got anything to sell or want to promote your skill GO NOW <>>http://advert4me.gq/

Lately I’ve been going for cheap and simple Hanes ComfortBlend. I have big shoulders, so a lot of other brands really gird the pit and flare out the sleeve for that flouncy look I’m not going for. Ideally I like the neck stretched out, like someone tried to strangle me or chased me down at recess. It still gives you some clavicle action and a little character to boot. It’s sexier. There are a lot of expensive scoop necks out there that get near this aesthetic but most of the time look too manufactured and delicate
check it ou

t<a href="http://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/b60f3nna" target="_parent"><img src="//ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1pBfWdjfguuRjy1zeq6z0KFXaV/Top-Tees-Men-Women-Summer-Tops-Fashion-Print-Lion-Female-T-Shirt-Casual-Shirt-Brand-T.jpg_220x220.jpg"/><span style="display:block;">AliExpress.com Product - Top Tees Men/Women Summer Tops Fashion Print Lion Female T-Shirt Casual Shirt Brand T Shirt Funny Men's Tee Shirts Tshirt Men</span></a>

Do you want to be able to promote your website and build fans giving your site more traffic? If so, then you're in the right place, this article will go over some information you can use to inform yourself what are the necessary steps you must take to promote your site through email marketing.
Provide exclusive content in your marketing emails. By providing those on your mailing list with information not available on your site, your customers are more likely to read each message, and begin looking forward to them. Your customers will feel special and appreciated when they receive relevant information in your emails.
Be certain you send correspondence only to those eager to receive it. Otherwise, you risk being known as a spammer. This type of random emailing can just cause a person to question whether they know you or your company, and they probably will end up caring less about your company if they run across it in the future. Oftentimes, these suspicious emails go straight to the trash and you see no benefit from them.
While online promotion is essential, don't overlook the opportunity to promote your mailing list offline. To build both new subscribers and potential clients, look for any opportunity possible to get the word out. Some great opportunities to build your business can be found at networking events, trade shows, conferences and local gatherings.
While you want to use your email marketing to improve your sales. The only way to get potential customers to read your emails is to convince them that they have value. To do this, your emails should always contain concrete, useful information and relevant links, and not just generic sales fluff.

click here for full page http://www.litraworld.tk/2018/07/quick-and-easy-ideas-for-email.html