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I couldn’t bring myself to believe that my sister has brought this much shame upon us. Or let me say I did know she would, but I didn’t know it will be this quick. Now, for the first time in my life, the first son, the second born, I witnessed the whole family of four enveloped in a dark fog of darkness that may never leave again. I also needed to be blamed in all these; I should have talked when I had the chance, and I knew my dad would have taken a drastic measure. And probably, this wouldn’t have happened.
I remembered the day my dad asked me to go give my sister some urgent money in school. Her numbers weren’t going, and she said the deadline was going to be twelve noon that day. The first thing that went wrong was that she wasn’t staying in the school hostel as she claimed she was. I was directed to a friend, who directed me to another friend who said her friend will take me to her friend who knew her place off campus, where she was staying with her friends. Well, I got to the place, and I knocked without an answer. The door was left slightly opened, so I pushed my way in. The sight was a shame. My sister, including five of her friends was asleep and snoring like uncultured animals. My sister was sleeping in a vomit of another one who was naked, from waist to the top. I tapped her, and that was when I knew she was drunk.
Outside, she begged me not to tell our parents, and I agreed. Not that that didn’t have a price which she gladly paid. The dress she was wearing was not more than a handkerchief, and her nipples were pointing sideways. The skirt was a super micro mini like the ones I’ve only seen in movies involving prostitutes. I wonder how she managed to appear at home during holidays like a responsible girl she was brought up to be. She should be a double agent. But I didn’t mind, she paid me good.
Then, just last week, a concerned friend of hers called my dad and told him that my sister was pregnant and was trying to self-abort it after the doctor said it might take her life. My parents flew to her school and carted her home. At home, my dad asked her to call the guy who was responsible for her pregnancy, but that proved to be the wrong move. The guy said he has already told my sister he can’t be responsible. This came about when the three different doctors said she can’t abort the pregnancy because she has aborted too many, and doing this will surely claim her life. He said my sister opened up to him that she has aborted eleven times for different guys! The guy even said he listened to her plea to abort the pregnancy after carefully considering he couldn’t marry a girl like her. He said they always have sex inside the toilet of the club where they met! He wasn’t even sure he was responsible. Guys at the club call her ‘el-Sarah’. The prefix before her name actually means ‘easy lay’, but she has always been told it meant ‘almighty’!
My dad, for the first time since I was born, cried like a baby, with his head on my mom’s bosom. My mom was trying to console my dad, but she was also crying. Everyone except me was. That day, our house was like a graveyard, silent, with a heavy air of darkness. El-Sarah cried throughout the night. Eventually, amidst her noise, I slept off.
The next day, I woke up to the usual silence and the unusual silence of El-Sarah. With curiosity, I headed to her room and found her dead with a note with two words, ‘I’m sorry’. I took the note and went straight to my parents’ room, I wasn’t feeling bad. My mom fell on the floor and started crying, but my dad, surprisingly, was calm. He held my arm and pulled me outside the room. I was scared; I thought he was going to accuse me because his countenance was stern and piercing. But as soon as he closed the door behind him, he looked into my eyes, raised the suicide note to my face and said,
“Son, I am sorry your sister had to take her life, we probably were too harsh on her, but this is not a solution, it never should be. If you are wondering why I wasn’t moved by this, it is because I am angry at her for hurting us, and then leaving us in mystery. Your mom might never overcome this shock. Suicide is never a way out; there is always a chance for redemption. Son, no matter what you did, what you will do, remember, we might get hurt, we might get harsh, but never take your life. That is never a way out.”

I nodded and went back inside, angry at my sister, the foolish one!

(C) 2015

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GREATNESS - A SEED
In the word of Mario Puzo, author of The Godfather "Great men are not born great, they grow great."

I would on this note call greatness a seed, though very small but have the utmost potential of becoming a big and massive tree if the right actions are taken about it as at when necessary and needed.

Greatness is a seed, if you fail to water and nurture it, it dies as the time passes by. Just as a seed that grows to become a tree and produces fruit and other seeds which benefits mankind, so is greatness. Your greatness if eventually becomes a reality will be a blessing to the world and its capable of bringing the seed of greatness in others to live.

Just as a seed cannot grow to become a tree if its not watered, nurtured, pruned and fertilized, so greatness cannot come to be a reality if these simple but pertinent principles and practices are not applied.

The blunt truth is, every human have and posses this seed irrespective of the source, background, race, colour or gender though this may manifest in diverse forms but its doesn't negate the fact that it exists in every human being. All you just need do is to look inwards. This seed is so small but the power is never to be undersatimated nor looked upon with the sweep of an eye because if invested upon, it is capable of making or changing history where ever it exists.

The great men and women who have come and gone but this present world and generation will not go down without mentioning their names have only been able to attain the state of greatness because they discovered this seed in them and took it upon themselves like that diligent farmer to water and nuture it until it grows. This took the countless sacrifices, pressures, pain, joy, extra efforys, dissappointments and prices to attain. This present world built on the discoveries and trends of these men.

"No student ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him: it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required, that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction."
Charles Kendall Adams

These same men and women also exist even in this 21st century and when the next generation surfaces, they will build on the discoveries made by these men and women. The likes of Bill Gates, Henry Ford, Stephen Spielberg, Mark Zuckerberg, Dr D.K. Olukoya, Prof. Wole Soyinka, Achebe etc.

If only every human especially my Generation, the youth of this age could take time to realise this seed of theirs and nuture it until its inestimable power becomes a reality, another name for the world will be genius.

A discovery of yourself, your calling and an act of diligence are the major ingredients to making this delicacy called Greatness. Greatness is a seed, its in you as it is in every man but if you fail to realise it and take necessary actions, it dies just like any other un-nurtured seed.

"You were born with potential.
You were born with goodness and trust. You were born with ideals and dreams. You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You are not meant for crawling, so don't.
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly."

By Charles Lawal

eleojo23:
Good post. Letting go isn't easy actually but it is necessary if one must move on.

thank u

[size=20pt]1. Accept the truth and be thankful.[/size]

To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and helped you learn and grow. It’s the acceptance of everything you have, everything you once had, and the possibilities that lie ahead. It’s all about finding the strength to embrace life’s changes, to trust your intuition, to learn as you go, to realize that every experience has value, and to continue taking positive steps forward.

[size=20pt]2. Distance yourself for a while.[/size]

Sometimes you need to take several steps back in order to gain clarity on a situation. The best way to do this is to simply take a break and explore something else for a while. Why? So you can return to where you started and see things with a new set of eyes. And the people there may see you differently too. Returning where you started is entirely different than never leaving.

[size=20pt]3. Focus only on what can be changed.[/size]

Realize that not everything in life is meant to be modified or perfectly understood. Live, let go, learn what you can and don’t waste energy worrying about the things you can’t change. Focus exclusively on what you can change, and if you can’t change something you don’t like, change the way you think about it. Review your options and then re-frame what you don’t like into a starting point for achieving something better.

[size=20pt]4. Claim ownership and full control of your life.[/size]

No one else is responsible for you. You are in full control of your life so long as you claim it and own it. Through the grapevine, you may have learned that you should blame your parents, your teachers, your mentors, the education system, the government, etc., but never to blame yourself. Right? It’s never, ever your fault… WRONG! It’s always your fault, because if you want to change, if you want to let go and move on with your life, you’re the only person who can make it happen.

[size=20pt]5. Focus inward.[/size]

It’s important to make a difference in the world. Yes, it’s important to help people, but you have to start with yourself. If you’re looking outside yourself to find where you fit in or how you can create an impact, stop and look inside yourself instead. Review who you already are, the lifestyle you’re currently living, and what makes you feel alive. Then nurture these things and make positive adjustments until your current life can no longer contain them, forcing you to grow and move beyond your current circumstances.

[size=20pt]6. Change the people around you.[/size]

Some people come into your life just to strengthen you, so you can move on without them. They are supposed to be part of your memory, not your destiny. The bottom line is that when you have to start compromising your happiness and your potential for the people around you, it’s time to change the people around you. It’s time to join local meet-ups, attend conferences, network online, and find a more supportive tribe.

[size=20pt]7. Take a chance[/size]

When life sets you up with a challenge, there’s a reason for it; it’s meant to test your courage and willingness to make a change and take a chance on something new. There’s no point in denying that things are different now, or being fearful of the next step. The challenge will not wait even if you hesitate. Life only moves in one direction – forward. This challenge is your chance to let go of the old and make way for the new. Your destiny awaits your decision.

[size=20pt]8. Focus on today[/size]

You can decide right now that negative experiences from your past will not predict your future. Figure out what the next positive step is, no matter how small or difficult, and take it. Ultimately, the only thing you can ever really do is to keep moving forward. Take that leap without hesitation, without looking back. Simply forget the past, look straight ahead and forge toward the future.

Thank you
*also check: reasons why you need to let-go of past hurt https://acmesuccess007./2015/01/24/reasons-to-let-go-of-past-hurt/

Financial priorities change over time, but a good savings plan lasts a lifetime. These five tips will keep you on track

It's no secret that your financial priorities change over the course of your life. In your teens you might save for a car, in your 30s you might save for your kids' education, and by your 40s and 50s you're more focused on your retirement. But to achieve any of these goals you need a solid savings plan. One that keeps you on track for your long-term goals, and one that will see you through any economic downturns that may happen along the way.

Consolidating your accounts is a simple solution, which makes it a good place to start. It'll save you money on fees and reduce the risk of losing track of accounts and incurring charges. Those savings might seem small, but they add up fast.

Of course the key to any savings plan is to start early. That way you can take full advantage of the power of compound interest. "A little bit saved each month starting at age 25 beats a lot saved every year starting at age 50," says Heather Franklin, a certified financial planner in Toronto. "Every day you wait to put a savings plan in place could affect the lifestyle you want."

Following these five essential steps will help you create a successful savings plan:

1. Identify what you are saving for

You can't get to your destination unless you have a road map. Having a clear objective of what you are saving for is the first step, whether it's for a family vacation, a TV or second family car. "People know they have to save, but if they can visualize their financial goals, it really helps," says Sheila Munch, a CFP and owner of Durham Financial in Oshawa, Ont. It also helps to write down each objective with the amount you want to save and a target date for reaching your goal. "Don't rush this part," she says. "This helps ensure you'll succeed."

2. Determine how much you can save

Whether you make $50,000 or $150,000 a year, you need a snapshot of how much you're spending. That's where a budget comes in. Once in place, you can determine how much you can allocate to savings or if you need to rein in your spending. "If 5% of income is all you can afford, start there," says Franklin. "Then increase it to 10% or 15%." If you're unsure how much you should be saving talk with an adviser who can help you build a budget and show you ways to save that you may not have considered, like consolidating or restructuring debt to lower your interest costs.

3. Choose the appropriate solutions

There are many ways to save and invest your money, including savings accounts, Guaranteed Investment Certificates (GICs), mutual funds, exchange-traded funds (ETFs)-the list goes on. The trick is picking the one that works for you. Choosing the right savings vehicle will depend on how much you can save, how frequently you plan to add to your savings, and how quickly you may need to access that money.

For short-term goals, focus on safety and liquidity rather than growth. Savings accounts (including Tax-Free Savings Accounts), GICs and high-interest savings accounts are good options. Picking the right investments for medium-term goals can be more challenging, because you need to strike a balance between protecting your assets and growing them to offset inflation. As a general rule, the more time you have to reach a financial goal, the more investment risk you can afford. More risk means more volatility, but if you have 15 years or more to meet your goals, you should be able to ride out any market downturns.

4. Make it automatic

If you don't see the money, you're less likely to spend it. Once you know how much you want to tuck away-say 5% or 10% of your after-tax salary-set up an automatic transfer to a separate savings account or investment account as soon as you're paid. Even small amounts count. For instance, $200 a month earning 2% annually will grow to $2,426 after the first year, to $7,424 after the third year, and to $12,625 in just five years. "It will hurt for the first three months, but after that you'll get used to it," says Munch. "It's absolutely pain-free saving."

5. Monitor your progress

Take a few minutes every few months to see if you're meeting your savings goals. "If you get a salary increase, add it to your savings," says Franklin. "It shouldn't be an opportunity to spend more."

There's more to saving than cutting your spending and setting aside that money. A host of government programs, for instance, have been set up to help you through almost every stage of your life-you just have to know how to take advantage of them.

If you're saving for your child's education, make sure you're using a Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP). Your money grows tax-free and you'll get some generous government grants that will really boost your savings. The Canada Education Savings Grant, for example, can increase your saving by 20%. The Canada Learning Bond is an additional grant for those who qualify: it provides $500 when you first open an RESP. You may also be eligible to receive a $100 Universal Childcare Benefit from the federal government each month for each child under age six.

If you're saving for retirement, consider using a Registered Retirement Savings Plan. The money you contribute to an RRSP is deducted from your gross income, which may reduce the amount of income tax you pay. To get the maximum benefit, you should use your tax refund to boost your savings, either by increasing your emergency fund, paying down your mortgage or putting it back into your RRSP for next year's contribution.

If you're saving for a dream trip, or just a rainy day, consider using a Tax-Free Savings Account. Your savings will grow faster in a TFSA because you're shielded from tax on the growth generated in your account, even when you withdraw the funds. "All these plans-RESPs, RRSPs and TFSAs-are great gifts the government has given investors," says Franklin. "Use them well."

For help on how to make full use of these government programs, speak to an adviser who will help you choose the savings solutions that are right for you.

acmesuccess007.

SIRKOL:
U were making sence until u included dat "listening to music" tin! 4geting is natural, u could get focussed on a particular tin so much dat it wil mk u 4get anoda nd if u try to be focused on evth it means u are not" focussed"

thanks, but please allow me to elucidate.
first, in order to learn how to meditate, gurus ask their students to relax and listen to music played from harp and other musical instruments, trying to cram the notes and focusing on nothing but the sounds.
this has helped in meditation which in turn helps to focus, and focusing allows your mind to be stable.
thank you. music helps a lot.

the same goes for playing logical games like chess and video games. it increases your self control ability and enhances your alertness. thank you

Don’t wait until an opportunity knocks at your door.

If you wait for an opportunity, it might never come, and if it comes, it might be too late, or you might not recognize it and so miss it.

It is more productive to take action and create opportunities for yourself.

HOW DO YOU MAKE OPPORTUNITIES

Define clearly, in a few sentences, what you want to achieve.

Write down your definition, and read what you wrote, at least a few times, every day.

Gather information about your goal, read and learn about it, and talk to people who are experts about it or know more than you.

Think often about your goal, with attention, faith and joy.

Expect opportunities to come right now, not at some time in the future.

Always keep your goal in your mind, and before you know it, you will begin to notice things you never paid attention to. You will begin to recognize opportunities, which you never saw before.

ALARM/NOTES/REMINDER[/size][size=8pt]
People neglect these simple methods of keeping their memory running. We need a device to joggle our memories when they drift into the realm of forgetfulness. Device as the alarm is simpler to use. Almost every device that tells time has an alarm these days; so, an alarm is readily available in our care almost every time. Our wrist watches, our mobile phones and our television has this device that could help us remember.



Notes could be taken and pinned anywhere we know it could help; most especially where we are most likely to encounter them. Like the refrigerator’s door, the door, on the table, on the TV before we go to sleep and so on.

Reminder is an advanced alarm that takes both notes and alerts. When an alarm sounds, we will be the one to know why it was set and what we wanted to be reminded of; but a reminder sounds on your device, displaying what you imputed as notes at the same time.

REPEAT LOCATION OF OBJECTS TO YOURSELF[/size][size=8pt]

This method helps when you are the type that gets frustrated from looking for what you just dropped a few moments ago. But when you repeat locations of objects to yourself, you are never going to forget unless you have a medical issue. For example, if you drop your car keys on the wine shelf, tell yourself where you dropped it with your mind in full focus and you will never get to start looking for it. This method could help people who suffer from amnesia and loose of focus.

LEARN TO FOCUS[/size][size=8pt]

When we forget where we just saw an object, then you need to learn how to focus your mind. It is most difficult to learn any new thing or even remember old things if your mind wanders. Your brain finds it difficult to store information that it came across because your mind wasn’t even there in the first place. You must learn how to focus your mind, and learn how to develop and strengthen your self-control. learn how to focus here
https://acmesuccess007./2014/12/28/learn-simple-steps-on-how-to-focus-your-mind/

LISTEN TO MUSIC[size=8pt][/size]

Music is one of the best therapies for forgetfulness. Listening to music calms the nerve and makes you focus. Music can be used in meditation and in the course of trying to learn how to focus. Singing along is an exercise for the brain. In the end, it helps your brain to assimilate and store information. Music is like a message for the brain because it soothes and smooches it; especially genres like blues, soul, jazz, and reggae.

thank you

Happy sunday

Thank you

u'rewelcome

Loosing one's concentration is like loosing one's mind. Most times, the problems we face at home affects our job. The ones at job affects our marriage. We choose tasks but failed to see them through. We look at ourselves as unable to achieve most things and depressions sets in.

You only need to learn how to focus your mind. Discard the past, act on the present, and the future is already being solved. Learn to focus on the next important things.

Thanks for reading simple steps to mind focusing. Thank you

1. Choose ONE Objective

Don’t say: “I’m going to focus.”

Do ask: “I’m going to focus on what single thing?”

This question will bring you to consider objectives. When you select one objective from a quick calculation of your situation and your most important tasks, THEN you can say, “I am going to focus on cleaning my dresser!”

Take the pressure off yourself for choosing the very best task (perfectionism). What you choose matters less than you think. It’s better to be focused on one good task than to be distracted with several potentially great tasks. (tweet this)

And choosing one single objective is the non-optional, required, ironclad, sealed, official, FDA-approved, permanent, necessary first step for getting focused in the moment. Don’t try any other way!

2. Clarify Your First Tiny Step

I like to treat myself as if I’m a little child. If I decide to write an article, I’ll say to myself in a baby voice, “can you write five words? Why don’t you do that right now and I’ll give you an animal cracker? Very good!” It’s so degrading, but I won’t turn myself in for mental illness or get too upset, because it works too darn well. It must be the animal crackers…or perhaps it’s the small steps.

Small steps are not just complimentary to focusing, they’re a necessary component of it. Who can focus on building a house? According to the broader meaning of focus, anyone can. But in the real world, you can only focus on mixing cement in a wheelbarrow or cutting a piece of rebar in order to accomplish the objective of building a house.

Many people aim to focus on a big multi-step objective, but it’s impossible. You can only focus on small individual steps.

We do ourselves a great disservice when we assume that we can “put the pieces” together for completing our objective. We are just like computers in that we follow specific instructions. You may be used to following instructions without thinking much about it, but you still do it.

For example, going to the gym:

Open drawer and get athletic shorts
Put on shorts
Do steps 1 & 2 for a shirt and socks too
Put on shoes & tie the laces
Grab water bottle, keys, wallet, and phone
Drive to the gym

This list is obvious, and more effective than the one-step “go to the gym.” It is especially helpful when you’re resistant to doing work. When you don’t want to do something and know you should, you’ll think, “I should really go to the gym.” That statement is weak and ineffective compared to the simple step of putting on gym shorts, because the latter starts the process. When you’re ready to go to the gym, you’ll think, “I’m going to put on gym shorts.”

Don’t make it easy to opt out of important tasks. Be specific about your first tiny steps (and make them so tiny that you can’t say no).

3. Commit To Refocusing

You will lose focus. Count on it and prepare for it. I once heard that the average person loses focus every 10 seconds, and I believe it. They say that great writing is rewriting. In the same way, great focusing is refocusing.

Anyone can focus for seven seconds. It’s staying focused that holds value and makes you a focus master and über productive. It isn’t hard to stay focused, it just requires training like any other skill.

A common pitfall for me and many others is failing to update our current focal point. We’ll set the first small task, complete it, and then space out. To focus, you must know your current task in each moment. When you no longer have a specific task to carry out, you will lose focus. Every time. You can’t focus on nothing, as this quote points out:

“For a person to become deeply involved in any activity it is essential that he knows precisely what tasks he must accomplish, moment by moment.”
~ Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Recap And Final Words
Anytime you’re struggling to focus in the moment, run through these rules.

Do I have a single objective? Name it.
Do I have a related small task to focus on right now? Define the first step.

Am I committed to it? Refocus on small steps until your objective is complete.

“You can do anything” is an inspiring phrase, but it’s not usually the issue. Are we really stretching the boundaries of our human abilities so much to be looking at seemingly impossible tasks and saying that we can do anything? Is that relevant to the average person?

We know what we can do and we’re wallowing well below it. It’s whether or not we can get ourselves to do what we’re capable of, which is why I prefer the phrase “you can get yourself to do anything!” This is the problem most of us struggle with, and when you become a focus master, you’ll be able to get yourself to do anything, and your focus will enable you to do it well.

You must master yourself before you can master the world.


www.acmesuccess007.

First, accept the fact that you've made the wrong choice in marrying him

Second, stay happy. Do t be bothered, anything can change in few weeks

Third, have a contingency, and prepare for a divorce if eventually he didn't yield. And you dont want to either leave your baby or live with his parents.

From my deduction: your husband is a control freak, and a stubborn man. He is not really a kid-lover, and would prefer cash over kids anytime. He is obsessed with making money and don't expect a family relationship with you or the kids.

Like I said: wrong choice.

* note: my suggestion will o my work for you if you are working/have a business.
For your sake, let's hope you didn't go for the money in the first place.

[size=30pt]no[/size]

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