₦airaland Forum

DukeNija:
Total and utter BS!
Divorce is not the end of the world and believe me many kids thrive and do exceptionally well when their parents separate rather than turn the home into rumble in the jungle.
Secondly, you sound unbelievably sympathetic to the wife who was ready to move out of their home rather than stand and make it work. That decision alone reeks of guilt. No innocent woman will suggest moving out of her matrimonial home over a mere accusation.

Thirdly, you still found a way to blame the man for his wife's decision to belittle him and call him that 'guy' while talking to another man by insinuating, rather, by jumping into the conclusion that he does not support or encourage her enough. So lack of support should make a woman insult and belittle her husband in front of another man? Besides you intentionally skipped the part that said he set up the crèche for her?
Woman, please never ever advise anyone especially a man again. You lack good judgment. Your post is terribly irritating.

The most annoying part in all of the ludicrous gabbage you spewed is that fact that you blamed this man for every decision his wife made. You completely absolved her of any wrong doing.

He made some few, I mean very few points, the rest, its like encouraging what she did. I have said it, if not for my children. I am moving on. Plenty good woman dey out there. I just never thought I deserve the woman I got. Never ever.

DukeNija:
I've followed your story and all I can say is you are a strong man. Many people advicing you here can't manage the situation as much as you have done. Well done. Your wife messed up big time, but don't throw in the towel yet. I believe there is still hope as long as you stand your ground and insist she changes her ways. Truth is, if the roles were reversed, you'll want her to forgive and manage the situation better.

Yea but we all know a womans case is always worse and different.

AlfaAce:
If you really wanna live long,LEAVE that woman alone!

From all what I stated, why did u say i should leave her?

I really want to thank you all for your comments. Whatever happens to a man and he brings it over to social media, in the end, the wisdom he has inclusive of some positive comments here will actually be the outcome of what I'll decide to do. In the end, my decision is what matters.

I'll like to address some misinformation here, and the first is the repeated quote from hungerbad where praises for his intelligent post is seen on here. It was not a shop she was gonna rent, its a space for creche, which she is running at the other place I rented a year plus now. Also, I have to the realization that even if your guts feelings tell u that ur wife is cheating, without evidence, one needs to chill, and if need be you want to uncover the truth take your time and investigate. Trust me yall, its not easy to observe things that would tell u ur woman is cheating and you'll sit still and be looking like lukmon, there are many reasons I have observed that I wont have time to share here.

Also, I would like to address the issue of paternity test, truly when trust is not fully established, and you see further reasons to doubt the paternity of your child, then a DNS isnt a bad idea. I'm actually 100% sure of my first born, apart from the sparkling resemblance, which in most cases is not an asssurance of ownership, the bloodily bond is there, I can feel it deep down, I wont even need to do DNA, and the same goes with my second as well. I dont want to go into that, even if on eof them arent mine, they already call me daddy, where do I want to land the fate of whichever isnt mine if discovery is made?

I loved my wife when we started courting, the plan for pregnancy was mutual, the love making was mutuall and real, it was just a mistake on my path that you dont sleep with who you dont know if by knowing that u guys arent compatible you wont be able to marry her. However within the last 5 and half years, We both have tried as much as possible to make things work, though she still seem to be the one lagging behind with issues of respect, obedience and loyalty and signs of infidelity.

Another thing is first business is successful, infact there isnt enough space to contain more children, but the major problem is accountability and management, shes 0% in those aspect, meaning no savings to pay rent, profit is spent without proper accounting, thought I understand most parents dont pay their wards fees at the appropriate time which causes imbalance in trying to accurately account for what comes in and whats going out. The only reason why she stated she wanted to move is because the baby's moving from age 3 are heading to a proper school, and she'll lose them, meaning she would start over by sourcing for new babys', so if she can secure the other side, she'll just move them to the new nursery and preschool without having to lose them to other schools. I told her i dont have the cash now, she needs to exercise patience, and she should be hopeful that kids will leave and new ones will come, at least thats how she started.

I just didnt call her a hoe from the secret calls and the mistaken statement of "blw job" It was based on the phone conversation I overheard from the bug i placed on her phone, where I found out that she was seductively talking to the dude in a sexy tone that I never heard her talk with, after confronting her and advised her to cut ties, she had another convo with him where I was being slandered and my wife refered to me as guy in the convo, thats what made me bad and resorted to calling her names, the scope of having her confesss to what I dont know is because if a woman ,talkless of a wife can discuss you with another male, it could probably mean they have had sex, or they are about to, whichever way round, out of anger, such woman might be called a hoe.

I had provided the evidence of the call, she cried and apologized that the dude was a old friend that she didnt want to make him feel bad while trying to cut ties with him, reason why he had to say such things about me, I asked if she respected his feelings more than the man that chose to marry you out of all that i have met, she said she was sorry. I tabled down a whole lot that I never thought would come off my mind, but due to the fact that I have sat her down to thrash issues out b4,, and nothing ever changes, I decided to have her embark on some strict rules which she quickly accepted, because I will not tolerate any more of this same instance or any other related as I want to live long.

damilolammm:
What is this one saying?
Didn't you know what you were getting into when you married celebrity ni
You marriage cannot crash, but sidechick is inevitable.
MEANWHILE


COSSY DANCES, AS SHE EXPOSES HER WATERMELONS

But should side guy also be inevitable?

GodnGold:
As always,I don't like one sided stories.

But oga Adam, you lost my respect when you started getting worked up about her calls and issues...then you went down yonder to call names...oga...e dalu ya (you fail am ).

To remedy your case,those phone calls and etc were done to swing you to action.

You know like get you scared of loosing her and then you do her bidding.

But that lady is brilliant sha.

She is not cheating...she is only working on your mind.

I repeat...she is not cheating...mind games.

Now,play the fool card,bro,the olodo card.

Beg her,tell her how sorry you are, be more olodotic about it by shedding so many shoulder vibrating tears with phlegm oozing out of your nostrils...yes...those tears.

Now,buy something for her and promise to help her with the money ...SOON!

Peace restored at SOON!

Then few days later ...you got her at cloud 99,tell her a touchy tale as to why you can't raise the money.

Be sorry man,Show pain,loose your sleep about it, you feel me?

Let her see the worry on your face but bro,don't you ever agree to do the loan thingy with her bro.

We women can drag one yonder if they let us...I warn you...do not agree...And remember...Show thy pain...let it be written all over you!

You owe me you know.

I can only owe you on one thing, thats to apologize to her that I called her names, in which I'll immediately provide evidence of slandering me over the phone with the male friend she claim she has. A full explanation on that is required.
Moreso, is that how rotten marriages should be, that a woman should use dirty tactics mind games to get her husband to disburse funds that is not and should not be demanded for? If thats the kind of mind games some women use, I am not accommodating such in my own union, na big brother house my famil dey live? Ihian!! If i hear!!!

dangotesmummy:
then discuss with her as husband to wife I said discuss,as in have a civilized discussion devoid of attacks,name calling and confrontations. Tell her you don't like all the disrespect and all and if you disrespected her in front of another woman how will she feel.all you need is a midnight heart to heart conversation and tell her to make her choice. From there you'll know where your marriage is heading to

UNFORTUNATELY, I have had heart to heart talks with her during past incidences, its just seems not to work, and dont have faith seeing it work,I would have to seek a spiritual procedure, call on God. Cos if God fit give me two wonderful pikin thru this woman wey nor dey loyal, then I need not to blow that blessing away.

@Every!, is is best to consult a councilor? I doubt that, cos our first counseling, she gave too much details that even the counselor felt sort of uncomfortable. Will a pastor be advisable? That too depends on the pastor, its only God that can see through a real pastor, some will claim to want to administer help, they use prayers to try to penetrate ones wife. Or is there therapy that can handle this situation?

dangotesmummy:
Adam you don't confront people so brashly when you have NO EVIDENCE HOW MUCH MORE YOUR WIFE

If you know you wanted to confront her you should have exercised patience like a funny fox,get your facts right then confession time starts.from there you'll know whether to continue with the marriage or end.however with what you have written e be like say your wife don dey give you proverb. It's for you to understand

I have supporting evidence where she degraded me while talking to a man he claims is his friend, talking and making gest of me, once woman don dey shine ur matter to another man, na to open eyes, I dont need no freaking further evidence reason why am still takin thing slow now, I am holding my balls strong on this one, this is one of those many issues I have faced so far. Just getting clearer now.

Prognose:
Smh
Never rush into marriage. The consequences of doing so last for a lifetime.
Prognose

Prognose, u dey pokenose, it can happen to you too, nobody badder dan, nobody holy pass when it comes to woman matter. Without all these yeye thing with my woman, aswear my family too sweet. He dey pain me sha, u nor go understand though.

sebod:
You actually slept with a stranger probably just to ease off, she in turn fell in love with your money and thought it would always be business as usual. And when what got her attracted to you seems no longer forthcoming, she's got to sort herself out.

You are already married, try and do whatever you could to save your marriage, bearing in mind you are the architect of whatever happens. You can't afford to make another mistake of having a broken home unless she decides to walk away.

I was a mere 27 yr old man with little or no change when we met. I was ok, but not to the point of having a woman rate me as rich or having then. Dont get it twisted, every woman get their own, na just the level of their ways different. What happened to me can happen to anybody, this is not tales by moonlight, na tales od day light.

Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.

Joavid:
Your story isn't exactly coherent. perhaps you wrote it under duress.

Going by what you wrote, she started cheating after you refused to give her the 2million or help her get the loan.
and the reason why you refused to give her the 2million is because nothing has come out of the previous business you financed for her.


Oga adam500hr, you did not marry a wife material. You married someone who's emotionally and psychologically immature with a huge sense of entitlement.

You are right, The car I bought for her, she asked me why its not bought in her name, I for one never have thought about entitlement in marriages, it didnt hit my mind for once, immediately i knew she was sensing, if anything happends, what would she fall back on, I asked why she would think that deep, she said its only normal that if you buy something for someone, it should be in their name. My hand fall.

Poorboy:
I have a solution to knowing the kind of woman she is i don't want to post it here because it's a top secret and ladies here would get the information call me on 07034366763

Your number says switched off

Hi nlanders, great morning to you all, of recent, have been suspecting my wife. She suddenly asked me for over 2million to pay rent for a new place to continue her biz, in which I declined for good reasons, because the place I had set up for her is just a year old and I spent alot on another mans property, yet no profit has even come out of the biz to even say it services part of the family's responsibility. Knowing fully well I rarely say no to her request, she felt more bad that I insisted on the decline. Infact she told me she was going to take a loan, I said if she does, my hand nor dey there, I said she should have patience like a year more that I will finance it, but she keeps saying the vacancy she saw is an opportunity that she does not want to lose it, I still maintained my decision of declining.


One night, she said she'll need my psychological support on the loan she wants to take, I replied that I cannot offer psych support on what I disagree upon, then she said I dont want to help her at all, that how much did I even spend for the first business, that is it up to 2 million, in which I spent more than. At that moment, I knew the wife I married was an ungrateful one, I just told her point blank that she should go for the loan and loan more to fix the place and buy everything she needs, then after she repays the loan, I'll blv shes a true business man and that I'll financially support anything she decides to do thereafter. She said well, I am scared of the loan, but she'll by whatever means get the money, I replied saying, whatever means u plan on getting it, make sure its clean.

Few days after, I figured out shes no longer interested in orgasm during sex, she just gives me and thats it, I already knew shes probably thinking too much and overworking herself to bring about a solution to where the money was gonna come out from, so I asked her why she has not been interested in orgasm, she said I should know that shes been working on some "BLOW JOBS" say what? She said u know have been working on some projects to get money to continue the biz, I said but u just said Mouth Action, she no I didnt say anything as such, Nlanders, If I lie make i nor see better, that was what came outta her mouth, but I am not concluding anything, just that its strange for such mistake to have been spewed. Though I got suspicious and decided to follow up on her. She has been talking to someone in secret, when she sees me she stylishly and quickly hang up. So I decided to make a very risky and rash move, that would either pay off, or ruin things. I yelled I know what u have been doing, you are a hoe that can never be trusted, that I think am done with this marriage. She got really worried that why would i call her such bla bla, she could not sleep that day, that gave me more reason to feel sumtin is probably going down, next day she sends me a text saying for me to keep calling her a hoe that she must have done something that warrants itm but she does not want to be referred ti as that anymore, and there is something am not telling her though.

I told her, I will break the news of what I know when the time is right, she then replied after two days of emotional trauma that she has finally decided to take the bold step to make my life and hers easy, she dont intend to create no drama, that all she needs me to do to avoid her getting any embarrassment from me, (what she meant is not letting people know why am calling her a hoe) is she wants me to let her know the terms and conditions with the kids and any other thing i think she should know before-hand. She also stated she would have loved to stay for her kids, but her emotions and health is failing her.

Nlanders, though I took a big risk, but isnt my confrontation with just 40% proof brought about a revelation that something has indeed happened from her response? I need candid response here as I am about to take my own decision, I cant stand a cheating wife biko.