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Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 8:41am On Jul 01, 2020

Karlifate:
This is what you should have posted initially.

Please work on your emotions as a man. The world we are now is not for emotionally weak people because you won't go far.

I'm curious, what part of the narrative makes me come across as weak? I'd really like to know.

1 Like

Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 8:39am On Jul 01, 2020

Martinez39s:
You should have handled the situation like a man. If my mum accused me of such, I will simply say "I never did such" and continue what I am doing. If she insists, that's her problem. If she demands for answers, I maintain my response and move on. I can even report to my dad if her unnecessary wahala is becoming too much. As simple as that. Life is not hard.

This is why I always encourage men to drill their children, especially boys, in having a tough skin. Just for an accusation, you are crying, upset and saying your life has been destroyed. You no try, you fall my hand. Words/opinions cannot hurt you except you want them to. So if a girl accuse you of rape, you will hang yourself or fall from third mainland bridge?

I'm not even sure what to say to ignorant & idiotic comment... talking 'bout tough skin. If you've gone through half the shit I've gone through, you'd probably be in a vegetative state right now. People like you don't really surprise me anymore... with your big mouth and lack of substance.

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Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 8:33am On Jul 01, 2020

morris477:
Your mother cannot just accused you like that, there is no smoke without �

And yet, she did.

Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 8:32am On Jul 01, 2020

Dpharisee:
I hope he won't go and drink sniper, these indomites are so weak minded that you constantly fear for them

If i didn't commit suicide back then, i'm certainly not going to do it now. But for someone who isn't an "indomite" you certainly lack wisdom, understanding and sensitivity. I'd expect more from these nigg@s claiming old age.

3 Likes

Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 8:25am On Jul 01, 2020

Martinez39s:
You need to stop this nonsense. When next you see your father, give him a good handshake, and thank him for his efforts in providing for the family and seeing that you are alright. Don't let the foolishness of your mama put a psychological wall between you and your dad. Your dad doesn't deserve all this nonsense after all his labour. Sit up Jare!

You are too weak and fragile for a man.

Lol at weak and fragile. So you think you have a clue the kind of person I am because I decided to spill my heart out about the worst mental abuse I've ever suffered this one time on a faceless. Come to think of it, I don't think anyone's ever defined me as weak and fragile, not even on my worst day, in fact people find me highly unusual due to the high amount of threshold I have for both mental and physical pain. I find your comment slightly humorous, but let's be guided.

4 Likes

Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 8:16am On Jul 01, 2020

jayloms:
Some parents can be manipulative. Is your dad a faithful spouse to your mum? Mothers tend to get at their husbands on matters bordering on infidelity or welfare, through their children especially when the children are close to the father. I'm sure you were pretty close to your Dad before the incident; and I don't need to ask how your relationship with him is at the moment.

Wow you're very perceptive and you are absolutely right. My Dad and I were close prior to the incident and he used to cheat on her... a lot. Tiri gbosa for you.

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Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 8:10am On Jul 01, 2020

grandstar:
Is your dad gay?

Not to my knowledge.

Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 8:05am On Jul 01, 2020

Ghostmode2two:
Why didn't tell your dad and how did this ruin your life? Don't tell me after mama accused you, you went into gay things or you failed your WAEC? Come of the closet!

Like i stated in my first post, it happened a few days before my first WAEC exam, so yeah, i failed... for 7 years straight. I couldn't concentrate on anything and it felt like i was sleepwalking through my own life. Also, it didn't make me gay, it just bleeped up my brain.

Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 8:01am On Jul 01, 2020

SILVERLINES:
fucck you with Ur dull brain

Dull brain?! lol, n!gga go and hug something.

Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 3:38pm On Jun 30, 2020

IfGodbeforus:
There are certain things people say to us that could be so awkward and so bad.
Atimes it could be a false accusation. A very painful one. When things like this happen, it hurts us so much.

The Truth is that unforgivness hurts the one who bares the grudges . Unforgiveness injurys the one who refuses to let go. For us to be free we Just need to let go. It's not gonna be easy to let go! But we need to let it go.

The Greatest way to let it go , is for you to cast all your burdens on JESUS CHRIST. Ask Him to Heal you, forgive u and set you free. Once that is done, you will Mysteriously see a whole new you.

I appreciate your input, thanks.

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Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 3:36pm On Jun 30, 2020

DeeMain:
One 1 hour therapy session by a competent therapist could heal this memory completely. Why allow this ruin your life and relationships till now? Why allow your mum's weakness or error or mistake to determine your present and your future?

You are now an adult. Take responsibility and heal this issue now. Take charge.

Hmm, this is good advice.

8 Likes

Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 3:35pm On Jun 30, 2020

rawitools:
Am not sure u are from Nigeria.

I am. Born and bred. Why aren't you sure I'm from Nigeria, if you don't mind me asking.

3 Likes

Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 3:33pm On Jun 30, 2020

merieam16:
Guess u re d only child

There are three of us and I'm the last born.

1 Like

Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 1:25am On Jun 30, 2020

Ningen:
Yap. Emotional abuse ruins people.

But you've to be mentally strong to survive.
Pick yourself up man.

Move on or the world will pass you by.

I appreciate your comment bro and while i do agree that moving on is the best course of action, it is really hard, extremely so. It's going on 10yrs now, and i still can't get it out of my head, and i'm tempted to just spill it out and maybe see if i might get unburdened. But it's like having a house with many doors, and there's that one door that you cannot dare open, because if you open it, one of two things could happen, things could somehow miraculously or magically get better (highly unlikely) or you could make things infinitely worse. And there's one thing i learned early in life, it's that no matter how bad things are, it could always get worse, much worse. Anyway, peace brother.

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Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 1:09am On Jun 30, 2020

frozen70:
If you want to forget about it, pls do and be happy

If you think you can't forget about it and she still does worst thing, report to dad and let it be settled

But left for me, forget it and forgive her

We forgive others not because they deserve it but because you need peace of mind

I didn't report to Dad back then for a few. The first reason being that i was afraid that Dad would throw her out or worse... my Dad has a temper. Secondly, i thought to myself "What if i report this and then she totally denies it?" I mean let's be honest, in Nigeria, when it comes to parents, we tend to put them on pedestals... they can do no wrong. Anyway, those were the reasons why i kept it to myself, but it still haunts me every single day. Oh, and i can't bring it up with them now because they are getting old and that kind of heavy shit could potentially make a person's heart give out.

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Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 12:55am On Jun 30, 2020

Janeberryy:
How did it ruin your life? Or it ruined your relationship with her?

Don't tell me that affected your whole life, like affected your sexuality or your success?

Maybe "ruined my life" was a bit of an exagerration, that was mostly so people would check out the thread. It definitely ruined my relationship with not only her, but my Dad as well, because since she said what she said i just couldn't stand the sight of my own Dad anymore. There was a time not long after the accusation when he was talking to me and Dad tried touching me on my arm and i just freaked out, i almost jumped away. It might sound funny, but it really wasn't funny to him, he was just shocked and confused as hell, but i couldn't tell him coz i thought it would only destroy the family, so i just shouldered the burden. It didn't affect my sexuality, but it held me back academically and in life. I was isolated because i had no one to talk to.

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Family › Re: How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 12:45am On Jun 30, 2020

heendrix:
Indomie build up

so she accused you wrongly and ever since then your life spoilt? let it continue spoiling na. mtcheww

sha keep us update to the monthly level to which it's spoiling

Eeyah sorry o, mommy's boy. It's quite obvious you know not the kind of weight that words carry, especially when those words come from the person that's supposed to be your shield from the world. I hope ur children never have to go through the kind of mental anguish i've had to go through. Be well.

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Family › How My Mom Ruined My Life by Agba2020(op): 6:43pm On Jun 29, 2020

I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.

This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate.

She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it?

Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

30 Likes 11 Shares

Family › Re: Most Painful Thing Done To You By Your Parents by Agba2020(m): 6:37pm On Jun 29, 2020

Papadoh:
Dude this shit is real, deep and frontpage-worthy. You should make a thread about it, so as to get advice from the elders oo. My 2 cents.

Thanks, I just might do that.

Family › Re: Most Painful Thing Done To You By Your Parents by Agba2020(m): 6:29pm On Jun 29, 2020

Thane:
wtf? and you haven't asked her where this came from?

Do you really honestly think there's any answer from her that could possibly change anything or make it better? Besides, I feel like if I even start to bring it up with her, there's no telling what might happen. This shit ruined me, hurt me deep into my soul and sadly will forever haunt me. Worst part is I don't even know what I did to deserve it.

Family › Re: Most Painful Thing Done To You By Your Parents by Agba2020(m): 10:08pm On Jun 26, 2020

homesteady:
I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. Are you in any way effeminate or what? What got into her to randomly accuse you like that?

No, i was always as boyish as all the other boys. And to this day, I still can't figure out why she did what she did. Although she was always the type to throw around accusations before gathering the facts, that was her at her worst.

Family › Re: Most Painful Thing Done To You By Your Parents by Agba2020(m): 10:06pm On Jun 26, 2020

homesteady:
I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. Are you in any way effeminate or what? What got into her to randomly accuse you like that?

Family › Re: Most Painful Thing Done To You By Your Parents by Agba2020(m): 12:13pm On Jun 26, 2020*

Hmm, This is a strong and serious topic. I commend the Op for creating this thread. I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.
This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw and I'm not gay. She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it? Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

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